Jokes

Man Rules!!!!

kal-el thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

  Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(
I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear
' the rules '
From the female side.  

  Now here are the rules from the male side.    


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!
 

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
  other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. .

1. Christopher Columbus did
NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it
will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Motorcars

or Football 
or golf, or Darts etc.


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.
  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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Shazia_haya thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
lol
 
 
dude i was wondering if you did the colouring and underlining and made some words bigger and stuff like that.....or was it like that already
 
 
lol
 
thx for sharing
 
Man's rules, eh?
 
hilarious!
 
😆
 
i have a male friend....he always has this thing....rule one  and two....lol....i bet that is NOT a guy thing....anyway i don't remember what his rule two is anyway....
truemate thumbnail
Group Promotion 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
no doubt and no question.....boy rulz   ðŸ˜Ž
Shazia_haya thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
Originally posted by: truemate

no doubt and no question.....boy rulz   ðŸ˜Ž

 
oi....why do you think that? gals are equally the best and they rock more than guys! remember that you two!😊😎
truemate thumbnail
Group Promotion 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
oh here comes the leader/voice  of the galz.. well i wont say anything about this az i know that i (boyz) will win
 
btw i agree with you to some extent, that galz to rocks 😊
Shazia_haya thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
Originally posted by: truemate

oh here comes the leader/voice  of the galz.. well i wont say anything about this az i know that i (boyz) will win

 
btw i agree with you to some extent, that galz to rocks 😊

 
thx god you do!lol...
 
i feel like i'm changing on IF maybe....i'm the leader/voice of the galz ye?lol....that means smth....lol (you might not know what i'm talking abt....members who know me well or are used to me may know what I'm talking abt[:$)])
 
okay everything aside...you know what....i believe that...ok i'm talking abt the real me k...lol....okay yah so the real me na....she believes that some girls are the best and some guys are the best...not all girls are best and not all guys....there are some guys who suck and the same with girls....coz there are all kinds of guys and there are all kinds of girls....so in general both rock and both are the best....and some guys and some girls suck as well...that's what i have always thought and would always probably will as well.....but then there are some people on IF...who've got me messing abt chantig girls are th ebest and only girls are the best....and i go along sometimes....but i do it for the sake of fun only.....else i don't chant 'girls are the best' or 'boys are the best'.....get what i mean?
 
lol
 
ok there you go.....the old me is coming back...i went serious now.....lol...oh well....i just wanted to let you (and the others) know what i really actually believe in....😳.....just for the sake of nothing...lol....for no reason i just wanted to let others know abt it....lol....oh well i've typed so much so i won't backspace it all now....i'll just post it....lol.....