PRACHI DESAI'S BIG LEAP!!
[17 Sep 2008]
RAHUL GANDHI, THE FUTURE OF INDIAN POLITICS, RECENTLY REMARKED THAT HE
IS TOO OLD FOR THIS COUNTRY, THE MAJORITY OF WHICH IS UNDER THE AGE OF
25.
HE WAS TALKING ABOUT INDIA TODAY, THE PRESENT
GENERATION THAT IS READY TO STEP OUT IN THE OPEN AND ON THE VERGE OF
SHAPING THE WORLD. THE IRONY IN THE STATEMENT COMING FROM THE HEIR
APPARENT, ALL OF 35, WAS CLEARLY EVIDENT AS WERE MY GROWING YEARS.
Any
solace I could afford myself is further crushed by my interviewee
Prachi Desai today. As I innocuously wonder if it were the histrionics
of Sridevi or Madhuri Dixit that filled her young heart with dreams,
pat comes the reply, "Well, when I was growing up it was Preity Zinta
that I looked up to." Suddenly I find myself sailing in the same boat
as Preity Zinta; a boat that has sailed away past the Sunset. Gen X is
pass; it's the Gen Y that's in charge of today and tomorrow.
All
of 20, Prachi aka Bani of TV soaps is already a household name, has a
house in bustling Bombay that bears her name and is geared up to leave
her mark on the silver screen. Only when one gets over the angst about
her making you feel like a fossil does one try and relate to her woes,
her challenges.
But then you can't. 'Coz she has the same
struggles, same battles as everyone else and she has to deal with them
with her 20 year old mind. That's when the confident self gives way for
nervous contradictions and a nascent kid wearing a grown up's mask
comes to the fore. Our journey is unraveling the young girl who
self-admittedly "lost a few years," in the hope of finding herself.
And
find herself Prachi did, a place in every household thanks to her
popular primetime soap. The wide reach and familiarity of TV actors in
our Nation is unquestionable, as the audiences begin living their on
screen lives as their own.
For the first time in my 8 years
with the magazine my mom is overtly proud and happy about my job 'coz
I'm meeting her favourite tele-screen bahu. I'm worried I might have to
actually restrain her overflowing enthusiasm. But Bani oops Prachi
isn't new to that.
SD: So, when you seemingly already have it all being a TV Diva, what's the lure of Bollywood?
PD:
See, every princess wants to be a queen. When you are a princess you
already have everything you want. But you still want to be the queen.
There cannot be a justified reason for it. You know, even on TV you
want to be a Tulsi or a Parvati, and once you get that then you want to
be the Amitabh Bachchan of films.
When I was a kid I was crazy
about TV soaps and I knew I wanted to be an actor. It didn't really
matter if it was for TV or films. When I was doing TV I didn't want to
leave it either 'coz it had given me a lot and I'd worked very hard for
it. But when this chance to do 'Rock On' came to me I just couldn't let
go of it. I guess somewhere in my mind I didn't want to restrict myself
just to TV.
SD: So she does believe that she was moving to a bigger medium?
PD:
You know people who are actually working in TV never think of it as
being smaller to films. It's the people outside who keep saying that.
TV has grown so much as a medium, the biggest of film stars are seen on
TV today. I feel TV actors create a bond with the audiences, which is
almost real. While even if you do two or three films, you still might
not be noticed. That difference always remains. Maybe I'd have answered
your question differently if I had this burning desire to make it into
movies. But it was never like that.
Now that I have gotten this
chance I am going to give my best to movies. It's not like 'I have
gotten this film, I'll take this up and see what to do next'. No,
whatever I do, I'll give it my 100 per cent. I am already doing my
second film with Abbas-Mustan and keeping my fingers crossed.
SD: Doesn't the gharelu bahu image and stamp she carries come in her way of getting acceptance with Bollywood makers?
PD:
It is a drawback, I agree. It is very tough to break out of it, when
people have an image set in their minds. Not only filmmakers, I don't
even know how audience is going to react to my character on big screen.
I wonder if I'd be able to hold their interest in a 3 hour film, when
they are used to seeing me in a 30 minute daily format. As for
filmmakers, I am hoping most of them don't watch TV everyday.
Seriously
though, when Gattu ('Rock On' director Abhishek Kapoor) asked me to do
a look test for the film, I was thrilled. I was given a new haircut,
was wearing less make-up. It made me feel young for a change and I was
all over the place. Showing off my new look to people. And when Gattu
saw me he was like, 'This is exactly how I'd envisioned you'. And I'm
thinking, 'Really? How could he with my bahurani image? So I'm hoping
filmmakers are capable of seeing me beyond the perceived image of me.
If
I looked like anywhere close to what I did on TV nobody would have
shown any curiosity in me. So I have to take an effort and show people
that I can look different too .Even on my show or whenever I went out
for an event I'd avoid wearing saris 'coz I didn't want to look much
older than I am. Off screen I am just like any other college-going,
jeans and T-shirt girl anyway, as hard it might be to believe, for some.
SD:
Prachi was in fact just another college going girl when fame knocked on
her door. Isn't 17 rather early to be able to deal with that kind of
adulation? Housewives coming up to her and saying they wanted to be
her?
PD: I'll just correct that. No one wanted to be me, they
wanted to be Ram Kapoor's wife. They used to think he was this one hot
guy.
SD: And she didn't think he was hot?
PD: I really
didn't. I was just a 17 year old who didn't know what she was doing,
was nervous that there were too many people around me and just wanted
to go back to college. For the first week, all I wanted to do was run
away. We were on the sets 24 hours, sleep had become a luxury.
I
felt like people were punishing me. But slowly it became easier when I
started getting the benefits of my job, money coming in, the awards,
the fame. These things somehow make you forget all the pain and hard
work you went through.
SD: Did she miss her college days, friends, the normal teenage growing up days?
PD:
I still do. You always keep wishing that simple normal life comes back
to you. I miss my friends and doing things that other 19 year olds do.
There is nobody around me who is around my age, to talk about silly
things, giggle about small, simple jokes.
I find it difficult
to connect with people here. But at the same time I feel so lucky
because my friends have to worry about their exams and they keep
cribbing about it. I never really had this desire to study, so I'm very
happy that I don't have to ever give exams again.
SD: She may talk like just another young one unburdened from studies and exams, but didn't she have to grow up too soon?
PD:
I absolutely did. Sometimes I feel I am not normal you know. I have
missed growing up with people my age. I feel I have lost a few years in
my growing up process. When you are a professional, people don't really
make allowances for your age. They treat you like they treat everybody
else. So at times I felt like I was going crazy, I used to think this
is not me.
There is a part of me, which is very childish and
immature but there is a part of me that's grown up before it's time.
That's just abnormal. You know I'll turn 20 soon, and suddenly I
realise my whole teenage has gone. And those years are gone in trying
to be like people who were around me, who were much older. And I had to
cope up because I'd be nowhere otherwise.
SD: Does she find it a struggle sometimes within herself, to balance the two selves, to relate to the grown up in her?
PD:
It is a huge struggle. You are trying to be something that you are not
and you are trying to relate to something that you just can't relate
to. And that's why you start giving yourself false answers and
explanations for it. You know, suddenly from discussing 'how many pairs
of shoes do you have?' with your friends, you are thinking about EMIs
and taxes.
But at the same time it feels amazing to be able to
run my house and look after my parents. That's why no matter how
difficult it is, you can't give it up. My friends still have to worry
about pocket money when I am thinking about how much more I can earn.
And
I'm just happy to think that today my parents are happy. They didn't
have an easy life, they were working parents, they were teachers. And
they didn't really have all the luxuries. So it gives me immense
satisfaction to be able to give them what they didn't have. And I know
they are very proud of me.
SD: Coming from a background like
she says she has, how has success changed her? Do the peripherals
change the inner self? Does she begin to see herself the way others see
her?
PD: For me the change in lifestyle has been more of a
need. I can't travel by local transport anymore. So I bought myself a
black Swift. It's the first car I bought and
I don't think I'd ever want to change it for any other swanky car in the world.
I'm so proud of my car. I don't care how I'd be projected if I own a small car.
I'm
not embarrassed to get out of my small car when I go for a glamorous
event. That doesn't change who I am or who I'd want to be. Earlier, one
would have to choose between buying the silver bag like my friend had
or watching a movie over the weekend. When you haven't grown in the lap
of luxury, its not very difficult to keep focus on what you really are.
Today I have to worry about wearing branded shoes, carrying a
good bag because people are watching. I can't come to terms with the
fact that this has become a necessity. You have to spend crazy amounts
to buy a dress for an event, which you can't even wear again because
you've been photographed in it. I find that absurd and the expense, a
criminal waste.
But I have to do that 'coz it's a part of my
job. And it scares me to think that I'd get used to it. 'Coz one day
you have it, one day you don't. And when you don't have it, you'd miss
it. I keep telling myself, I can't make a habit of this life.
SD:
Does she ever feel like going back to her simple roots at times, away
from the pressure and this mad lust for fame and money?
PD: I
do feel like going away at times. Usually that happens when you hit the
bed and have time for yourself. When I feel there is too much pressure
I think, 'why am I doing this?'. But then I have to remind myself that
this is what I always wanted. It's very difficult for me to give it all
up because I'll again be nobody, like I was. And I'd start feeling how
I used to feel then. And that would be tough for me. Even if I harbour
these thoughts about going away, leading an anonymous life, where will
I go? What will I do? I've always believed that I am special and didn't
want to be one of everyone else.
SD: How's she coping with the late nights and partying scene in the glamour world? Does she fit right in?
PD:
That's something I really find difficult to adjust to. 'coz I have not
led that kind of life before. When you grow up in that environment, its
been a part of your life, then it is easy for you. But for me it's very
difficult to socialise and try and make friends at a party, if such a
thing can happen," she says directly. "Sometimes I feel, 'where have I
come?' This is just not my world and I don't fit in. Maybe things
change when you get to know people.
SD: Does Prachi think she can match up to the glamour girls of Bollywood?
PD:
I don't really know," she says indecisively. "Not everyone can be as
beautiful as Katrina or as hot as Kareena. Not everyone can be as cute
and charming as Preity or as good an actress as Rani.
Each one
of them has their own USP, I'm sure I have one too and I will find it
in my own time. But I know I'm not very comfortable being hot and sexy
because honestly I don't have it in me to project it. I don't even know
how you do it. But that's okay you know, I don't really have to be like
anybody.
SD: From being a top name in the TV industry to being
just a new name in films, could she cope with the change in attitude on
the sets?
PD: This time I could, you know, because that's how I had really started two years ago; from nowhere.
SD:
And was she taken seriously on the sets? Did she get along with the boy
band of Farhan Akhtar, Arjun and VJ turned actors Luke Kenny and Purab
Kohli?
PD: See I'm not a difficult person, and even though I
might not be able to relate to people instantly, I make an effort. Its
true that I am awkward with people I don't know but I'm not a snob
who'll sit in one corner with a book in her hand.
Farhan was
great to work with, he has an amazing sense of humour and that would
make me comfortable. I guess it was easier for the guys because they
knew each other since earlier and had a lot in common, it was different
for me.
SD: The film is about a rock band and rock music? How much does Prachi relate to that culture?
PD:
I don't at all. I know nothing about rock bands. I only know the band,
Magik of my film. I should try and get a better understanding of these
things, no? You know, I'd feel so left out on the sets 'coz everyone
used to talk about rock music and I had no clue what they were talking
about. That maybe the reason I felt awkward sometimes on the sets 'coz
I didn't know what everyone was talking about.
SD: Is that why
she always tags her mom along on the sets to avoid such awkward
moments? Doesn't she think she'd be labeled as one of those 'ask mummy'
actresses of the past?
PD: Hey, you know I am not a spoonfed
baby. But I feel so much more secure with her around. When my mother is
not around I feel so lonely on the sets. What do I do when people are
talking of things I don't know about? I go to my van and chat with my
mother. She never comes out of the van and interferes with my work.
All
those people who have a problem with or make fun of my mom being on the
sets, don't realise what an effort it is for her to sit in that van
every day even if I'm shooting for 20 hours. And she is not the
interfering types, so the director doesn't really have a problem with
that. I'm sure people say things about it behind my back and snigger
about it, but nobody has said it to my face.
Maybe it's my
defense mechanism. Also sometimes you don't want to believe things even
though you know them. Even if people are saying something, I'll choose
to register only what I want, 'coz I'm more secure like this. I will
not get out of that comfort zone. People can say what they want.
** SHASHANK SAMANT
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