Other Topics

**From & To Satish **( New Pictures Pl see pg 163) - Page 8

Created

Last reply

Replies

1591

Views

162534

Users

35

Likes

1841

Frequent Posters

light_dark thumbnail
Anniversary 18 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago

 

Scenario between Pak President Musharraf, Indian PM Man Mohan Singh,Aishwarya Rai and Sonia Gandhi

Musharraf, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia are traveling on a train. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel..

The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is RED from an apparent slap.
All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Sonia's thoughts:
These Pakistanis are all crazy after Aishwarya. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel.
Very proper that she slapped him !

Aishwarya's thoughts:
Musharraf must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

Musharraf is thinking:
Damn it ! Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

Manmohan's thought:
If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Musharraf again..........!!

 

jagdu thumbnail
Anniversary 16 Thumbnail Group Promotion 4 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
DD the last 2 aare fabulous jokes, tho I heard the Manmohan one.
I liked the one on the co.'s. Did you know the biggest ones originatged in Ca.? Am dying to show you around when you come. Cisco's my favorite, for I'm from sfo.
Did you  vote? Can  I ask for who😳?
Know any of your collegues who voted?😳😳
light_dark thumbnail
Anniversary 18 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago

yup,i voted.voted for vijaykanth.lots did but the end result was no different.

                                                                                                          satish
light_dark thumbnail
Anniversary 18 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
                                       musings
 
what is a poem and what words make a song
all words written are not of joy and love
nor all words of sorrow and pain
but the emotions and passions from which they flow
come from the soul
all drops of water are not rain from the skies
all tears that roll down the cheeks
are not from pain and sorrow
but when they fall to the ground
mother earth does not distinguish and accepts it
all new borns are not born beautiful
all new borns are not born rich and powerful
but the mother who bears it gives it the same beautiful love
even in the most pitiful mangy dog lives a loving puppy
like even in the hardest of souls in men
lie the power to love and heal
isn't love beautiful in all its forms
the love of a friend,love of a parent,love of a spouse
and the total trusting unhibited love of a pet
well live,love and die.simple yet so profound
light_dark thumbnail
Anniversary 18 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago

Bank Robbery


A man walked into a bank, got in line and when it was his turn he pulled out
a gun and robs the bank.

But just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the
next customer in line, "Did you see me Rob this Bank?"

The customer replies, "Well, yes!"

The bank robber raises his gun, points it at his head and shoots him.

He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, "DID ...
YOU ... SEE .... ME ... ROB... THIS... BANK?"

The man calmly responds, "No, but my wife did."

light_dark thumbnail
Anniversary 18 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
                          WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around.. We
walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.

My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This
Is the Receiving Section... Here, all petitions to God said in prayer
are Received..'

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many
angels sorting out petitions written on  voluminous paper sheets and
scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The angel then said to me, 'This is the Packaging and Delivery
Section. Here, the graces and blessings the  people asked for are
processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.'

I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working
hard at that station, since so many  blessings had been requested and
were being packaged for delivery to Earth

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the
Door of a very small station To my great surprise, only one angel was
Seated there, idly doing nothing. 'This is the Aknowledgment Section,'
My angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed 'How Is
it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.

'So sad,'  the angel sighed. 'After people receive the blessings that
they asked For, very few send back acknowledgments .'

'How does one acknowledge God's blessings?' I asked.

'Simple,' the angel answered.   Just say, 'Thank you, God.'

'What blessings should they acknowledge? '  I asked..

'If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof
overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a
dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy ...'

'And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in
the world who has that opportunity. '

Also .
' If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... You
are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day .'

'If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of
imprisonment, the agony of torture, or  the pangs of starvation .. You
are ahead of 700 million people in the world.'  ;

'If you can attend a temple/mosque/ church without the fear of
harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more
blessed than, three billion people In the world .'

'If your parents are still alive and still married ...you are very lucky .'

'If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're
unique to all those in doubt and despair.'

Ok, what now?   How can I start?

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in
that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more
blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at
all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this
along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.:
'Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and
for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with.'

________________________________
jagdu thumbnail
Anniversary 16 Thumbnail Group Promotion 4 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
Congrats DD.
You were suuper in Arasi today😊.
light_dark thumbnail
Anniversary 18 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
One day, when an old lady was sewing while sitting close to a river, her
thimble fell into the river.

When she cried out, the lord appeared and asked, "my dear child, why are
you crying?"

The lady replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she
needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set
with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the lord asked. The lady replied,
"No." The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble
ringed with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked again, The
lady replied, "No." The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather
thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The lady replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three
thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the same lady was walking with her husband along The
riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the
water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are
you crying?" "Oh lord, my husband has fallen into the river!" The Lord went
down into the water and came up with Mel Gibson. "Is this your husband?"
the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an
untruth!" The lady replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'No' to Mel Gibson, you would have
come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'No' to him, you would have come up
with my husband. Had I then said 'Yes,' you would have given me all three.
Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care &
satisfy all three husbands, so that's why I said 'Yes' to Mel Gibson."

The moral of this story is:- Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and
honourable reason, and in the best interest of others.
light_dark thumbnail
Anniversary 18 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws
the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...........
atina thumbnail
Anniversary 18 Thumbnail Group Promotion 5 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
Pictures sent by Satish: