Aap Ki Antara

Swapna, Updates on the Kids - Page 4

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tulipbaby53 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago

Yes, my brother is going to a public school and everything even though I'd rather him go to a private school. My parents can't really afford it though. It would give him better attention though. At his old school he got a lot of one-on-one help with the special needs teacher, so he was doing fairly well there. Now it's really hard because my brother is very talkative and normal otherwise. He just has a lot of memory retention and handwriting problems.

I've read a little bit about AS, but I don't think he has it. I know he does have ADD because he's very restless and doesn't focus on things he needs to focus on, but there's more to it than just that. For example, he's 12, and he still uses his fingers to add and subtract. He can't remember his multiplication tables, and he has reversal writing problems....like he'll flip letters and numbers. He's getting better about the flipping because of the teacher at the old school, but he has a long ways to go. I think he might have dyslexia, but there's no way to prove it without anyone wanting to believe it.
 
s.munagala thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago

Varsha, have you guys tried asking the school to evaluate him?  Also, you could go to a pyschologist privately to have an ADD/ADHD (or whatever the Dr. recommends based on his/her observations) evaluation done, and armed with that document you can make the school do an eval., they will have to by law then if the parents insist on it.  You could also threaten the school saying that you'll bring a parent advocate into the meetings if they make it a difficult process for you all.  It's really hard getting services for Sp. Needs kids in TX, and I'm obviously speaking from personal experience.  Unless you fight for your kid over there, they are quite content to let things slide, since it means less work for them and they get to use their budget dollars for something else.

It may be worth shelling out the amount to have a private eval. done for this reason.  We were lucky in that his pediatrician made the pre-cert request and the insurance had to comply with it, so our initial evaluation was covered and we had the subsequent testing done at TX Children's Hospital in Houston which was also covered, because of the Dr.'s pre-certification.  That may be another route to try if you have a sympathetic Pediatrician (if not then look around for one who is willing to listen to your concerns about your brother).
 
Hope I'm not being too presumptuous in giving you this advice, and I certainly hope that it helps in any way.
 
Take Care,
Swapna
tulipbaby53 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
No, I really do appreciate the advice! Thanks a lot! 😊
 
My mother has tried to get the school to evaluated him, and they did. It was not a good one though because all they said was, "He has ADD." ADD is really the surface of the problem though. I have told her serveral times even in Kentucky to go to psychiatrist and get him tested. Money is an issue, but I think a bigger issue is she's worried about how it will affect my brother. It's hard enough knowing you're not performing as well as your peers, and it's even harder when you don't know why.
 
I even tried telling her to go to child psychologist or his pediatrician. I'll mention what you said here about your pediatrician because that might give her more confidence. Plus it might not affect my brother that badly because he knows that everyone goes to the doctor's for a check up.
skeptical thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
Hi Mahi, Swaps and Varsha.......................
 
Sorry, I just logged into this thread and I was surprised to see it gone into 5 pages.  Nice going. 
Regarding speech, ........ I'll write about it tonight.  Something needs attention right now.....School work y'know...  Actually it never ends. 😉  Will be back.
MahikaL thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
Thanks for the input, Swapna. I will see what we can do. His eval is next week; at least that should be covered...

Tulip, That has to be so hard for your mom. When I see the kids who have autism plus ADD, I feel so much for the parents as well as the children. ❤️ It's appalling that we still have to fight so hard to get services, though I suppose, with autism on the rise, insurance companies must be stunned by the costs of treatment too, plus these are longterm treatments in many cases, so the monetary burden is endless.

There are days when I brood too much, and wonder how we are going to live like this for years to come. But I try to snap out of it and see that he is basically a happy kid who makes sense of things in his own way. His cute little personality is why we are doing all this.

Mahika.
tulipbaby53 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
Thank, Mahika for the sweet words!
Actually, I might have misspoken, but my brother doesn't have autism. 😊 It must be really hard for those parents that do have such children though! 😒
MahikaL thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
Oh sorry, doh, my bad. 😳😳

Mahika.
tulipbaby53 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago

No, it's really okay....😆

MahikaL thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
The whole 'trying to pretend that Antara is normal' thing has been so grating. As these kids get older, it becomes so obvious that they are not the same as others. So what is the point of even going there?

One thing I have noticed in real life with people's reactions, is--they are very quick to latch onto something my son does, and exclaim, "There! He looked at me, or he smiled when I waved, so he cannot be autistic." I used to wonder why they were so invested in there not being a label on him. Then I realised--a) they feel there is a stigma, so they are trying to reassure me he is normal; and b) they are showing that they have certain misconceptions of autism, and their eagerness to find normalcy in him shows me that they don't fully grasp that there is a spectrum of symptoms. Also, they must be under the impression that these kids are screaming and carrying on all day long. So it's sort of a mirror of their own lack of exposure.

I know they mean well, so I try not to go 😕, but it gets tiresome to hear the same tired theories recycled over and over. We live with it every day; don't you think maybe we have developed some instincts about what works? Or maybe we look too dumb?? Heh heh.

I kinda prefer the people who offer prayers or suggest what yagnas we can do. At least they come across as non-judging, and aware of our need for higher guidance.

Mahika.
tulipbaby53 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago

I think people are just closed minded! Like, they are always wanting unity and sameness, so when something challenges or changes their perception of normal, they get scared almost. I don't think they're reassuring you that your child is normal more than actually reassuring themselves that there's nothing wrong with being different.

I don't know if that made any sense, but I was trying to say something good...just not sure how to word it. 😆 Made a lot more sense in my mind...🤔😆