Swapna, Updates on the Kids - Page 5

Mahika, Edited by s.munagala - 14 years ago

Oh, Swapna, I feel what you are saying. YES!! Also, not all autistic kids look it. There is sort of a way you can tell when they are moderate or severe; I can see their eyes and know they are autistic. But it's not as obvious as with Down's syndrome, so it's easy for people to say, "You are just not being firm enough with him; force him to get used to listening to you." Uh, yah. The best part is that we have an older kid who is not acting up, so why don't they process that if we are able to get her to behave, why would we drop the ball with the younger one..

We could tell from when my son was about 1 that something was not right, but the ped kept brushing me off. When he was 2, I approached the public school, and they said to wait till he was almost 3 because they didn't want to assume there was a developmental issue when he might just be a late bloomer. I accepted it and we waited, but I felt frustrated that I KNEW he was probably autistic and we were struggling, but we had to basically sit on our hands. The autism centres around here all have endless waiting lists just to get an eval, and they are expensive too. Now that the school has tested him, the ped is all apologetic and dying to write referrals. SNORT.

Thank goodness at least his school training has mitigated some of the craziness. Not all, since he is still so young, but it's not as hopeless as it used to be.

Swapna, have you ever taken Rish to India? I have never taken my son out of the US, though my daughter and I have gone to visit everyone before. There is a family trip coming up in a few months (my in-laws' side) and they want us to come too. But I am terrified about his food issues and how we will manage. His diet is so restricted as it is, and I am not emotionally strong enough yet to handle all the comments. Even the cousins who live in the US can be so ruthless with their opinions; I can tell myself all I want that oh, their talk doesn't matter, but this is my baby....

Mahika.
Edited by MahikaL - 14 years ago

For my favourite mums,

 

 

While both the autistic and the hearing impaired  have little speech / articulate speech, the problem for both is a bit different.  The access to understanding sound maybe blocked by the brain (at times) in the autistic, but in the case of the deaf the ear (and/or the brain) plays the villain and obstructs sound from reaching in.  But teaching speech is probably the same.  As you know:

At ages three, four, and five a child's vocabulary rapidly increases, and he or she begins to master the rules of language. These rules include the rules of phonology (speech sounds), morphology (word formation), syntax (sentence formation), semantics (word and sentence meaning), prosody (intonation and rhythm of speech), and pragmatics (effective use of language).

Teaching the deaf child speech is probably a little different.  Hearing aids, implants etc are important to aid speech.  The child is more receptive, tries to gauge sound, tries to hear and reproduce sound.  What both the deaf and the autistic need is to "listen".

Children are children and our responsibility is to pull them into our circle as gently as possible.  Cajole them into interacting.  Even if you don't know which method to adopt as a mother, you know the aim so move towards it.  Take hints from your therapist and start home schooling at once.  "Reinforcement is the key to many questions.  Break things down and persist."  I was taught to say this along with my prayers every morning.  Your child needs mainstreaming and who better to initiate this than you as the mother?

 

Use plenty of colourful flash cards which may force him to pay attention to you.  Large colourful story books are helpful.

 

 

@ Swaps ...............I know the heart break you have gone through ...... and I am sure you're going to rise like the phoenix for your son  👍🏼 ❤️ ❤️ 🤗

 

@ Mahi ........ Take him and go visiting family in India.  There are autistic children here too.  People are the same ..... and there are plenty of decent ones around too. 🤗

Hi Mahi and Swapna. I just saw your post since I haven't been here for a week. It was very emotional reading for me....from your sweet happiness till your struggles with the insurance.

@ Swapna & Mahika - this is my first post here to both ladies. I cannot even begin to describe how much I admire your strength. God has chosen you two to be mothers to special children because He knows that you have that something extra that ordinary moms like me don't have. You both are true angels. Edited by h&rblock - 14 years ago

@ Skep: I loved reading your post! You spoke everything so clearly, and it's very true. I love this line especially:  "Reinforcement is the key to many questions.  Break things down and persist." This is what I have to with my brother to get him to learn and remember his work.

 

@ Simz: Yeah, the USA is so-called "open-minded" and "broad", but it's very backward in many ways compared to other countries. Especially with assisting special needs children and their parents as well. It's really bad! 👎🏼 I really feel from my heart for all those parents that have to go through battles with the schools or insurance companies just to get their child the right attention.

 

@ Mahika: I don't know...maybe you all should just go to India? I'm not trying to butt in you all's personal business, but I think it might be nice for your son. I don't know how well he'll deal with the long flight, but your relatives do need to see him and accept him for who he is. It must be hard though to deal with people's narrowmindedness, but I think you both as parents will be able to handle it well! 😃

This content was originally posted by: tulipbaby53

@ Skep: I loved reading your post! You spoke everything so clearly, and it's very true. I love this line especially:  "Reinforcement is the key to many questions.  Break things down and persist." This is what I have to with my brother to get him to learn and remember his work. These words were told to me by my teacher when I became a teacher.  Its a motto for all those who take care of children.

 

@ Simz: Yeah, the USA is so-called "open-minded" and "broad", but it's very backward in many ways compared to other countries. Especially with assisting special needs children and their parents as well. It's really bad! 👎🏼 I really feel from my heart for all those parents that have to go through battles with the schools or insurance companies just to get their child the right attention.

 

@ Mahika: I don't know...maybe you all should just go to India? I'm not trying to butt in you all's personal business, but I think it might be nice for your son. I don't know how well he'll deal with the long flight, but your relatives do need to see him and accept him for who he is. It must be hard though to deal with people's narrowmindedness, but I think you both as parents will be able to handle it well! 😃Yes I agree.

Thanks for the encouraging words everyone, we really appreciate them, and it helps us when we feel down in the dumps to know that people out there understand what we go through, and that we can always come to this forum and hear a kind word to lift our spirits. 😃👏⭐️ Edited by s.munagala - 14 years ago

I appreciate you writing about your experience with travel, Swapna. I haven't taken the kids to India, but my daughter has come with me to SEAsia, where my immediate family is. Even before we had a diagnosis for my son, I sort of knew he would scream through the flight etc. And my parents are pretty elderly, so they can't help me a whole lot.

We've taken him on trips within the US, and he usually adapts pretty well, as long as we keep his routine the same. The food has always been a nightmare, though. He won't eat unless I cook the food and make all the textures how he likes, and his digestion goes nuts if there any new ingredients. And countless times we were made to throw away soy milk at security checkpoints, leaving him with nothing to drink on flights.

Poor Rish, I can just imagine how he felt. I'm glad he enjoys his UK trips, though. Will you ever move back, you think?

I am also afraid of my MIL's reactions to people's comments. She is very invested in other people's good opinions, plus she is very upset about my son's diagnosis, so we keep having to deal with her drama also. Sorry, I don't mean to be so disrespectful, but it's the truth. She is having a hard time accepting him as he is, and there is a lot of pressure on us to sound upbeat about the whole thing around her. This makes us feel alone and tired.

There are so many posters here who have some connection to special children. That is awesome. It's so nice to read everyone's experiences and observations. I feel like I know some of you already.

Mahika.

This content was originally posted by: MahikaL

I appreciate you writing about your experience with travel, Swapna. I haven't taken the kids to India, but my daughter has come with me to SEAsia, where my immediate family is. Even before we had a diagnosis for my son, I sort of knew he would scream through the flight etc. And my parents are pretty elderly, so they can't help me a whole lot.

We've taken him on trips within the US, and he usually adapts pretty well, as long as we keep his routine the same. The food has always been a nightmare, though. He won't eat unless I cook the food and make all the textures how he likes, and his digestion goes nuts if there any new ingredients. And countless times we were made to throw away soy milk at security checkpoints, leaving him with nothing to drink on flights.

Poor Rish, I can just imagine how he felt. I'm glad he enjoys his UK trips, though. Will you ever move back, you think?

I am also afraid of my MIL's reactions to people's comments. She is very invested in other people's good opinions, plus she is very upset about my son's diagnosis, so we keep having to deal with her drama also. Sorry, I don't mean to be so disrespectful, but it's the truth.  Mahika, being truthful is far from being dis-resprctful!!! She is having a hard time accepting him as he is, and there is a lot of pressure on us to sound upbeat about the whole thing around her. This makes us feel alone and tired.  I know EXACTLY how you feel, we have many people on our side who give us the same grief, incl. my younger b-i-l, my f-i-l to name two.  But if your m-i-l cannot come to terms with it that is her issue to deal with, NOT yours.  You have enough to worry about without taking on someone else's issues on your shoulders.  Just go about trying to enjoy yourselves and making it a memorable first trip for your kids... it's an AMAZING country, you should  experience it as a family and enjoy it while you're there.  My opinion honey, though I know there are no blacks and whites ulimately, but all the same, you are not obliged to accept everyone's opinion, especially someone who should really be trying to make things easier for you.  What's the meaning of unconditional love otherwise.  Tell your m-i-l to take a leaf from your kids' book and learn how to love and accept from them.

Plan your trip Mahika, don't worry about pleasing everyone, it's a practical IMPOSSIBILITY. 

Take Care,

Swapna

There are so many posters here who have some connection to special children. That is awesome. It's so nice to read everyone's experiences and observations. I feel like I know some of you already.

Mahika.