Break ups are never fun to talk about, it's a devastating time period for some people.
However, they do happen. We do find at times that we are probably not made for each other. At that time it's better to call off the relationship as soon as possible before either of you get even more involved with it. It hurts anyway and sometimes it's better to seek some advice on it too.
So here's an advice.... I hope no one gets to a break up and your relationships are healthy and loving, but if it ever gets to that point, you've got help.
Break Up Advice
We all agree it is compassionate to avoid hurting people's feelings
whenever possible. The "whenever possible" clause creates some
confusion when ending a relationship, however. This is an inherently
painful time for one or both parties. Many tactics have been used, when
breaking up with someone, to attempt sidestepping this inevitable
truth. They all fail. Worse yet, avoidance of the plain, honest truth
causes more misery then is necessary in these situations. Therefore,
avoid being evasive or vague. Be direct while taking responsibility for
what you want.
There are no strict rules about how to end a relationship. However, a few tips can help when breaking up with someone.
- Don't be evasive, unclear or vague. Be direct and to the
point. This is not an enjoyable matter for either of you. Giving false
hope or making your partner guess at what you want prolongs everyone's
misery.
- Do not break up in stages. You may think this will make
the loss easier. Don't fall for it. This only serves to administer low,
medium and high doses of pain over a longer interval.
- Don't lie
or invent a story. Things will not add up and the falsehood will be
found out sooner or later - usually sooner. Getting over a break up is
hard enough without introducing mistrust. Making someone piece together
bits of information while leaving him/her to guess what is true causes
unnecessary pain.
- Don't blame someone or something else for
your choices. Identifying and asking for what you want is an important
developmental step and is necessary for mature relationships. Also,
hiding behind excuses is pretty transparent. It is likely the other
person will see what you are doing. Conversely, if he/she actually
believes your excuse, the person will try and problem solve how to
remove whatever relationship obstacle you've fabricated.
- Don't
delay ending a relationship. Once you know you want to break up with
someone, it does not help if you deny what you feel. Your partner will
sense a change, perhaps reaching out for reassurance. This may feel
like "neediness" to you which will increase your feelings of being
stuck.
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Courtesy: relationship.lifetips
-Mahi
Edited by -Mystery- - 14 years ago