My
husband angad khannna is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady
nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to
admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has
now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. . . I am a sentimental
woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings,
I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My
husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of
bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love. One
day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
"Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am
tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered. He
kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted
cigarette at all times
My feeling of disappointment only
increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can
I hope from him? And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your
mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality,
and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.
Looking deep into his eyes I slowly
answered : "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart,
I will change my mind, Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a
mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your
death, will you do it for me?" He said :" I will give you your answer
tomorrow.... " My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone,
and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk
glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....
My dear, "I would not pick that flower for
you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further.." This first line
was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. "When you use the
computer you always mess up the Software
programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that
I can help to restore the programs.
You always leave the house keys behind, thus I
have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling
but always lose
your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.
You always have the cramps whenever your
"good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that
I can calm the cramps in your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that
you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you
jokes and stories to cure your boredom.
You always stare at the computer, and that will
do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow
old, I can help to clip your nails,and help to remove those annoying white
hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you
enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful
sand... and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the color of the glow on
your young face...
Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is
someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and
die.. " My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his
handwriting. .... and as I continue on reading...
"Now, that you have finished reading my
answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing
outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk...
I rush to pull open the door, and saw his
anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of
bread...... Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he
does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...
That's life, and love. When one is
surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to
ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and
cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring
form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface
of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and
that's our life... Love, not words win arguments...
This is my story about how i was going to loose my life with my own hands...........
Kripa khanna