Posted:
12 years ago
Here's another one:
Dear Connie:I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other
during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.The day you
left, I swore I'd never talk to you again but that was just the wounded
little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to
make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling
back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's
cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I
don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first
move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak
as loudly as our hurt.This is what my heart says: "There's no one like
you, Connie. I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I
see, but they're not you. They're not even close."Two weeks ago, I met
this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to
hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was
young, maybe 19; with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and
maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect
body. t**s like you wouldn't believe and an ass that wouldn't quit.
Every man's dream, right?As I sat on the couch being blown by this
stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives.
It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make
her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting
at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than
my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'd never really
thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a
little.Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt,
I found myself thinking,"Who do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't
just her flawless technique or her s**tty, shameless hunger, but
something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so
incomplete? And then it hit me. I don't feel the same because you
weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same
without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And
everything I do just reminds me of youDo you remember Carol, that single
mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by
last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating
right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later,
but that's not the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and
the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this
tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you
know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or
her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she
spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts
it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves.
And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad, too because I can't help
thinking, "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had
this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex
toy."Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining
order. I mean, Vicki's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good
head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this
painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and about
women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together. Connie, she
really is.So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking
about happier times. Here's the teenage girl with the same DNA as you
and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you were you were
18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicki's
really into the whole anal thing. That gets me to thinking about how
many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled
some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when
I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is
think of you? It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don't
you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and
start fresh? I think we can. If you feel the same please, please,
please let me know.Otherwise, can you let me know where the f**king
remote is?Love, Dan.
****Watch Jayhind.tv on the internet at http://goo.gl/pl0uC and have a good laugh****