VirMan OS&SS : Note - pg.70 - Page 5 | Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

ashred12

@ashred12

IF-Rockerz

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: priya_shukla145
Vry nice start
loved it
pm me too

thanx...but dis is a oneshot...but i'll pm u if i ever continue...

Quote

Prianka S.

@Sapphire

Senior Member

Posted: 12 years ago

Loved it!! Plz add me 2 ur PM list...thank u!

LiL aSiAn GaL aKa PrIaNkA

Quote

ashred12

@ashred12

IF-Rockerz

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: lil asian gal

Loved it!! Plz add me 2 ur PM list...thank u!
LiL aSiAn GaL aKa PrIaNkA

thanx...😃

Quote

ashred12

@ashred12

IF-Rockerz

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

once again shovi n radhi succeeded in brainwashing me to write an os... 😉 😛

Hum Tum

' Isse kya ho gaya ?! Maine toh sirf videsh kaha. Paagal ! ' thought Manvi on Virat's rude reaction to her question about what he did abroad. They walked silently as she bought the remaining 5 gifts, thus completing her list of 13 wedding gifts for her di.
" So your shopping is over ? "
" Well... Main list is over but I want to buy a dress...for myself. "
"Fine. Lets go. "
They entered a dress shop and Manvi didn't take much time to choose one. But she had to try it on. So she left for the changing room while Virat waited in the showroom. He looked around to pass time, thought about what he has to do after returning home. Finally he checked his watch.
It was almost an hour by now yet she wasn't back. Virat decided to check on her. He entered the changing area and found a row of rooms. He heard someone asking for help from the last room.
" Koi hai ? Please help to open this door. "
Virat listened carefully and immediately recognized the voice. Who else other than bandariya !!
' I should 've known ! Hamesha kuch na kuch gadbad karti hai ! '
Virat reached the door and asked, " What did you do to the door ? Did you kill the door with your talk ? "
" Oy.. Paagal ! Why would I talk to door ?! I didn't do anything. Its jammed." Manvi was irritated. She would recognize that irritating voice anywhere. Here she was struggling with the stuck door and he is teasing her instead of helping !
" Kya pata. Jaise tum aasman ko dekhke baat karte ho, waise shayad darwaze se bhi ki hogi. "
" Are you going to help me or not ? " Manvi asked pulling at the door handle.
" Tum madad maang rahe ho ya aadesh de rahe ho ?! "
" Uff.. Just help, ok ? " She was definitely going to strangle him the moment she gets out.
" Ok. I'm going to push. Stay back. " said Virat as he started hitting the door forcefully with his shoulders.
After some tries, the door sprang open suddenly. Virat lost balance and fell forward, towards Manvi who jumped back. The room was very small than he expected. As a result, Manvi was trapped between wall and Virat. She got nervous at the narrow gap between them and immediately pushed him away. He wasn't expecting that and now fell backwards on the door that was swaying back to the doorframe, and lo, the door was closed again !
" Are you out of your mind ?! Tumne mujhe dhakka kyu diya ?! "
" Agar dhakka nahi dete toh main iss wall pe wallpaper ban jaate. Tum itne force se jo mujhpe gira ! "
" Ab darwaza kaun kholega ?! "
" Hum milke aawaz dete hai na. " Manvi suggested.
" Jaise ki koyi itni door se sunega ! Tum first room use kyu nahi kiya ? Iss last one mein aane ki kya zaroorat thi ? "
" Bas mann kiya toh yeh room use kiya."
Virat shook his head. ' If I talk more to her now, I'll go crazy. '
" Hello koi hai ? Please help to open this door. " He shouted. Silence was the reply.
' Ab kya karu ? ' Both wondered.
Suddenly Virat's phone rang. It was Viren's number.
" Kaha ho yaar tum dono ? Manvi ki shopping khatam nahi huyi ? "
" Nahi bhai. Hum yaha changing room mein phas gaye. "
" Acha toh woh dresses try kar rahe hai ? Tab toh time lagega. Just try to wind up soon. Ok ? Bye. "
" Nahi woh..." Virat stopped midway.
" Kya hua ? " asked Manvi.
" Line cut gaya. "
" Toh wapas call kardo na."
" Oh no. Battery empty. Tum apne phone se try karo."
" Err... Range nahi hai."
Virat groaned. Bandariya ki bad luck ki jai ho !
Virat leaned on the door while Manvi leaned on the opposite wall. He looked around for something to try on the door and noticed her bag in the corner. " Tum aur tumhare yeh bag mujhe snail ki yaad dilati hai."
" Very funny. Hassu mein ? " she replied sarcastically.
" Haan haan zaroor."
Manvi ignored his reply.
" Jab tumne kaha ki hum yaha phase hai toh jeeju ne kya kaha ? "
" Usse laga ki tum andhar hoon aur mein baahar wait kar raha hoon."
" Yeh jeeju bhi na ! Seedhi baat samjh mein nahi aate ! "
" Hello, iss mein bhai ka koi dosh nahi hai. Tum ladkiyan hai hi aise - ghanton lagati hai shopping mein."
" Oy hello, saari ladkiyan aise nahi hote."
" Aise hi hai. Chahe desh mein ya videsh mein."
" Acha ! Tum toh aise keh rahe ho jaise tumhe videsh mein ladkiyon ke saath shopping karne ka bahut experience hai ! Ya phir ek ladki ke saath ? " Manvi asked curiously.
The moment she said it, she regretted it. Because Virat had suddenly turned serious.
Virat couldn't help his anger. This was the third time in the same day his old wound was reopened. First dadaji in the morning when he commented on him sitting idle. Then Manvi's question about what he did in abroad. And now her question about his possible girlfriend. He hated how he was being reminded of his past that he so badly wanted to forget.
Virat stepped angrily towards her, his fingers curling into a fist. " Tum apne kaam se kaam nahi rakh sakte ?! " He raised his fist to hit the wall in a fit of rage.
Manvi thought otherwise. She shrieked and slided down fast to the floor, lifting her hands to cover her head.
Virat stopped in midaction. He stepped back till his back hit the door, stunned at what he was going to do. He was definitely not going to hit her but his action had scared her.
He closed his eyes leaning back and took deep breaths to calm down. He slowly opened his eyes and found himself staring into a pair of curious eyes. Her hands were lowered now but she sat as close to the wall as possible.
" Are you alright ? " she asked innocently. ' Poor guy. He must 've gone crazy taking care of the marriage preparations.' she decided.
" Tum shayad shaadi ki tayyariyon ko leke pareshan hoga. I'm sorry for troubling you."
If he wasn't feeling guilty already, this would 've been enough for a guilty consciousness.
" No, I'm sorry. Mujhe aise behave nahi karna chahiye tha. Its not your fault. Par tumne mujhe kuch purani baatein yaad dilayi jo main bhoolna chahta hoon." He replied softly.
" I'm sorry." she apologized. " Par tumhe pata hai na main jab bhi mooh kholti hoon hamesha kuch na kuch gadbad bolti hoon." and started to recount her misfortunes.
Virat shook his head smiling. Ek second mein maahol badalna koi inse seekhe !!
Just then they heard some voices outside and started shouting for help. The door was soon opened by a salesman.
" I am so sorry. We forgot to put a warning on the door." he apologized.
Virat offered hand for her to get up but she huffed a refusal and stood up by herself. She took the bag from the corner and walked ahead of him.
' Mujhe attitude dikha rahi hai! Abhi dekho.'
" Acha hua aap aa gaye. Warna main toh iss ladki ki bak bak sunte mar jaata." Virat said to the salesman, loud enough for her to hear.
Manvi put a suddenbrake and turned around. Virat gave a sweet smile and walked out fast. She could only fume in anger. ' Chodungi nahi tumhe.'
As soon as she bought the dress, Manvi ran after Virat. But he was already gone. By the time she reached the car, he was already inside the car starting it. She sat inside without a word.
But she couldn't hold her tongue for more than a minute. " Tumne uss salesman se mere baare mein aisa kyu kaha ?! " she questioned angrily.
" Aur tumne jo attitude mujhe dikhayi uske saamne ? " he countered back.
" Woh isliye kyunki tumne mujhe daraya."
" Hello madam. Main itna gira hua nahi hoon ki kissi ladki par haath udaye."
" Tum itne gusse mein dikh rahe the ki haath udana chodo tum murder bhi kar sakta tha ! "
Virat didn't reply. He knew his temper. She might be just right.
As they neared the Vadhera house, he asked curiously. " Are you going to tell them about what happened in the changing room ? "
" Kyu ? Batana nahi chahiye ? Tumhe itni interest kyu hai ? "
" Main toh aise hi pooch raha tha. Jaise tumhari marzi."
But deep inside he didn't want her to. He could imagine his dadaji's reaction - " Tumne ek ladki par haath udaya ?! Videsh mein jaakkar saare sanskaar bhi bhool gaye ! Waise bhi, ek haare huwe insaan se aur kya umeed kar sakte hai ?! "
Manvi imagined beeji's reaction - " Tum ek jawaan ladke ke saath ek kamre mein bandh thi ?! Sharam naam ki koi cheez hai ki nahi tumhe ?! Khandaan ki izzat mitti mein mila dengi yeh ladki ! "
" No way !! " Virat and Manvi spoke aloud at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise but looked away immediately. ' Overdose of awkwardness today.' decided both of them as they entered the house.
**********

Quote

Suchi-

@Suchi-

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Oh woww!!!! that was awesome Ash!!

I could sooo imaaagine them both doing this.

Ohhh Hay I wish you could have added

Viraat saw maanvi in the changed dress and she looked very pretty or realized that in the car after things had calmed down.

SIGH SIGH SIGH

what a wonderful starttt of the day by reading such awesome OS muahhhzzz XOXO

Quote

Shova

@NivRenDeewani

Goldie

Posted: 12 years ago

🤗 yeyeee my Ashuma wrote it!!!

and by the way...we didnt brainwash u 😆 not our fault that u agree to everything we ask *evil laughter* *hugsss* luv u.

OMG "" What did you do to the door ? Did you kill the door with your talk ? "🤣🤣
🤣 cant stop laughing

AHAHHAAHAHHAAHAHAH the whole nok jhok between VirMan was just sooo good. so funny,ohh i so can imagine them do this.

OMG both locked in 😳 that scene was supurb...i luvd how manvi pushed him back and they got locked in hehehe and " Agar dhakka nahi dete toh main iss wall pe wallpaper ban jaate. Tum itne force se jo mujhpe gira ! "🤣🤣

" Tum aur tumhare yeh bag mujhe snail ki yaad dilati hai."🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

OMG ROFL, my stomach hurts from laughing

ohhh everyy dilogue, every interaction, EVRYTHING was perfect ashuma. Ohh i so so sooo wish somehow we get a similar scene in the future with VirMan.

I cant thankyou enough for doing this for me and radhi. ur a fantastic writer my darling ashuma. THE BEST.

Edited by NivRenDeewani - 12 years ago

Quote

Niki

@luvzindagi

IF-Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Its awsome...👏
❤️Loved it...🤗
And Thanks for the PM

Quote

-INFINITE-

@-INFINITE-

IF-Rockerz

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

OHHH wowww..datzz awesome..had fun reading it😃..& Thanxx 4 da PM..😊

Quote

Shova

@NivRenDeewani

Goldie

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Suchi-NivReniac
Oh woww!!!! that was awesome Ash!!

I could sooo imaaagine them both doing this.

Ohhh Hay I wish you could have added

Viraat saw maanvi in the changed dress and she looked very pretty or realized that in the car after things had calmed down.

SIGH SIGH SIGH

what a wonderful starttt of the day by reading such awesome OS muahhhzzz XOXO

Hey suchi long time ...how r u? its me shova incase u have forgotten hehehe jokes. yaa that would be nice naa 😍 Virat thinking how beautiful she looked hayee...but seriously Ashly OS was the best naa? I had so much fun, was laughing so much.

and speaking of OS, r u planing to write any time soon??? I still remember ur wekend retreat 😉, do write one of VirMan if u can plz. Atleast one PLZ PLZ PLZ😳

Quote

658578

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

the best part is that i could totally imagine the way the two would mouth the dialogues writte:)

really nice!!

Quote

1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 ... 52