Are Indian men Mama's & Papa's Boys?

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Posted: 18 years ago
Do you think Indian men are Mama's Boys ???? Do you think Indian men in their 20's , 30's and 40's are independamt enough to think by themselves about personal issues or do they run to their Mom's or Dads for advice as well as permission ?

They will be married with kids , but will turn around and take moms and dad's permission and their advice for all personal problems and many times work problems !😛

Do you think are Indian men are grown up enough or No they are still boys who need their mom's and Dads ??😊


Posted: 18 years ago
Aparna, an interesting thread this one is. I think the problem is not with the youth, but with the way they are brought up in the context of the Indian society. Parents are highly protective about their children even when they are grown up. I have seen in many places who look at their grown up children as kids without any decision making ability. The result is these grown up children always have it in their minds that their parents are there to look after them when things are not smooth. And they seek continual permission from their parents when they want to do something.
I have had the opportunity to mix around with an Anglo Indian family. Out there the attitude was very different. The moment their child reached eighteen years of age, their dad would encourage(almost force) their children to get into a job. All pocket money would stop and they had to earn on their own. They learn to become more independent this way. Unfortunately, this is not the case with the typical Indian family. The dependence on parents on everything is very high.
Posted: 18 years ago
the subject is applicable to indian women too. i have a friend who complains about her husband taking his mother's opinion but she herself asks her parents' opinion on lots of stuff like how to bring up kids, cooking, work problems etc. i think if she does that then it is pointless to blame her husband.

now coming to general discussion i think to some extend they are. most of the indian mothers do everything for their sons unquestioningly. they are used to be taken care of. who else in the world would tolerate their temper and stupidity? 😆😆😆

in my opinion most of the indian kids are mama's and papa's boys and girls. they know sacrifices their parents do while bringing them up and kids know that whenever they feel low parents are always there. they support, comfort and love unquestioningly. so the emotional attachment is so strong that even after setting down in life, parents are still part of all major decisions. to some extend it is okay but there is a line. when parents take all major decisions for you even when you are married then that's got to stop.  
Posted: 18 years ago
Majority of them are. Its more so with the business class families and joint families.

Its a simple equation . these people live on their parents and to a major extent are financially dependent on them inspite of being married so in the bargain its expected out of them to take advice on all issues big or small from the elders.
Posted: 18 years ago
I agree with anjali..it also applies to indian women. And as madcap said it has to do with the upbringing and the emotional, social bond between parents and our culture. To be frank if all social and married problems, issues, is not discussed with parents and parents do not play any role in decision making thats healthy to have social bond. For some issues its good to have parents as your advisor as they are the most unbiased and well wishers and most experience one. e.g. when we were building a house my in-laws were visiting us and it was hard for me and my husband to decide what plan to go with and deal with builder and stuff....my FIL's input was very helpful and he was the one who came up with house plan and we both loved it..he also helped us with some decision making it was helpful with his experience, and sometime he would say no he didn't like it just 'coz he is family memeber. So i think sometimes its nice to take their experte advise and there is nothing wrong in that. However, if all small issues are discussed with girl's mother/father or boy's/men mother/father its really irritating.... 😡 and as anjali said yes, parents are possesive about their kids even at mid age.

So i would not say its perfect and good to be independant and never ask ur parents advise or take one....to support kids financially for their education after 18 is not bad...infact, i admire the commitment the parents have for thier children, but once they are 20 they should be left to take their personal decisions and let the learn from their mistakes, if they "ask" for their help you should be always there for them and make them realize also that they are not alone and when no one is there for them their parents are alway there.
Posted: 18 years ago
Originally posted by Aparna_BD



They will be married with kids , but will turn around and take moms and
dad's permission and their advice for all personal problems and many
times work problems !😛



About work problems, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. My husband is an engineer and my FIL is also an Engineer. Now my husband discuss lots of issues with my FIL if he thinks about chaning field or stuff like that. And i think his guidance is helpful sometimes. Though final decission rest with what my husband wants to do but when he can discuss things with his friends why not his own father who has tremendous knowledge. I think there is nothing wrong in seeking advise but dicissions should be made by couple with any personal and financial issues and parents should keep that distance and so should children give that space to themselves.
Posted: 18 years ago
I have a strong feeling that people still living in joint family culture are the ones quite dependant on their mum/dad for lots of things.

No offence meant about the advantages of joint families in Indian culture, but practically, joint family system reduces the responsibilities of the adults involved and make them less worldly wise- more dependant on the elders of the family.

By this reasoning, I like western style where the children are forced to move out after a certain age so that by hook or crook they have to fend for themselves but ultimately they will become more mature -- to face the world, so to say.

Posted: 18 years ago
Every boy or girl is a Mama or a Papa's boy or girl. Parents often see in their offsprings a mirror image of themselves and expect a certain behavioural aspects in them. As is the norm, girls look up to their fathers and boys to their mothers, so to a certain level every individual in some point of time is a mama's or a papa's boy or girl. As we grow and develop our intellect and understanding of life, we believe or choose to believe that we are our individuals but when something doesn't seem right, the first people we turn to are our parents for however grown-up we may be, we remain kids, to our parents.   
Posted: 18 years ago
It depends on the upbringing... 😛

many indian families r modern and they feel...and respect indvidual minds so... 😛 😛

I feel indian men most r like that.....but there r also few who r an individual 😛
Posted: 18 years ago
i totally agree

indian men/women are parents children

we just arent independent enuf

i am working and live alone in another city

but will still consult my parents on any imp topic

welli t has got ot do with our upbringing

indians as awhole are very family people
so that reflects in our growing up as well as decision making process

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