New fiction 3rd March
(Starts from where Priya leaves tha party after flirting with Ronit. I'm ignoring the precap.)
Neha drops Priya home. Priya goes up to her room and makes her way to the dressing area. She stands in front of the mirror and removes her earrings and brushes her hair. She is about to change her clothes when she recollects that she took so much pains to dress up properly and Mr. Kapoor didn't react at all.
Her anger returns and she goes out and sits on the sofa.
There were so many questions in her mind ' so many thoughts ' like lots of angry flies buzzing around an open beer tankard. Room renovated ; no reaction. She dressed up for him ; again no reaction. What was this man thinking of? Why did he come back from US so suddenly ? Did he really come back for Natasha's show ? Why did he want to see her on video chat ? Why did he call her to the office ? If Niharikaji had not come in suddenly, would he have said something ?
She calls Neha to ask if there's any news of Ram & Vikram. Neha informs her that she'd just spoken to Vikram and both of them were apparently enjoying themselves without their wives.
Now ? Take a deep breadth, Priya ; she tells herself. Accordingly, she kicks off her shoes and sits down on the couch, crosses her legs and tries to meditate. It was a long time before she could relax '. after such a physically and emotionally exhausting day.
There was an old game she used to play '. many years back ' when she wanted to sort out certain issues in her mind. 10 questions. And she would judge herself with the number of positive answers she got. The questions had to be structured in a way that positive answers indicated the correct path to follow. And the answers had to be on the spur of the moment. No thinking twice. That was a trick. To help reveal what was hidden in the innermost corner of her heart. Would that game help her now?
Let me give it a try, she thinks.
1. Did Mr. Kapoor come back from US for me : Yes
2. Was he too busy to notice the renovated room and hence no reaction : Yes
3. Did I behave badly in trying to make him jealous by flirting with Ronit : Yes
4. Did I break my deal with Mr.Kapoor when I made fun of his weight and fitness during my conversation with Ronit : Yes
5. Do I really think he was going to say something special after our discussion on Dhoni : Yes
6. Was it possible that Vikram stopped him from saying anything in the same way Neha had stopped me : Yes
7. Do I love my husband : Yes
8. Does my husband love me? Yes (without a minute's hesitation)
9. Now that I think he reciprocates my feelings, should I not confess and help him to open up : Yes
10. Is Neha wrong in asking me to wait for him to make the first move and confess :
Here she was finally stumped.
She closes her eyes and tries to think rationally. Was Neha right in asking her not to betray her emotions first so as to enable her to always keep the upper hand? But why? Why would she need to keep an upper hand on her husband? Hadn't he always shown himself to be so compassionate, caring and understanding whenever she and her family were involved?
But Neha also couldn't be wrong. She knew Neha loved both of them very much and would give them only correct advice. And Neha had so many years of experience.
And she blushed when she remembered her 8th question. Closing her eyes, in the dark, that answer came naturally to her. But now, with eyes open, waiting for Ram to finally come back after enjoying the party without her, she again wasn't sure.
But hadn't she herself always maintained that whatever she thought from the heart was the true answer ?
She paced the room, troubled, worried. What was she to do? This was one area where she couldn't even consult her father. Her Papa would be shocked at this discussion. Her mother could be ruled out too. Krishnaji ? No '. informing her that she loved her son was still fine but asking her advice on how to propose to her son was out of the question. Maybe if Krishnaji wasn't related to Ram, she could have asked her.
Why? Why was Neha stopping her? Why was she listening to Neha when her heart told her she should go ahead ?
A fear of rejection ? Embarassment on a daily basis if he still maintained that theirs was a "samjhauta" relationship which had progressed to friendship but nothing beyond that ? Maybe she was mistaken in reading his feelings? But Neha had not stopped her from confessing her feelings because there was a possibility of rejection. Neha had in fact, almost confirmed that Ram also cared for her ..' cared very much. Neha's main reasoning was that whoever confessed first would always be kept waiting for the other person throughout life. But even if that was applicable in case of Vikram & Neha, would that apply to them too? She and Neha were totally different and so were Vikram & Ram. Then?
She looks at the time again. It's almost 2 am. Should she call? She walks to Ram's side of the bed and picks up the photo frame with their snaps. She smiles at his snap and clutches the frame to herself. And sits down. Would lying down on his side of the bed help her to think like him ? Would it help her to decipher what he thought of her ? About her ? About their relationship ?
She lies down , smiling at herself , at her thoughts , on his side of the bed , still clasping his snap to her chest. And slowly dozes off in some time, drained out physically and emotionally, after a long long day. There's a soft smile on her lips.
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