Episode for 10th March
(Starts from the 1st kiss scene.)
Ram caught Priya's hand with his left hand as she walked past him. It was time for desperate measures. Ram was at such a stage that he did not know what he could say to Priya to convince her that he loved her. Dammit, why did so many obstacles come up in the way of expression of his love? Right from when he'd called Priya to his office to get some privacy, his mother had barged in. In fact, he hadn't even asked her why she'd come in at that time? Then the party where Vikram and Neha, unknowingly created such a big fight between them. And why did Ronit have to make an entry in that party? He was ashamed, thoroughly ashamed of what he'd told Priya but he had been blind with jealousy. It had taken him so long to realize that yes, there was one person in the world who mattered more to him than anything else, more than his own self. And he was unable to express himself to that one person. He felt badly inadequate. And finally the fiasco at the fashion show. Again he'd made one slip when he'd said that it was his family matter. But he hadn't meant it. Hadn't meant it at all. It had just been something he'd said on the spur of the moment, without thinking. He was not worried about Chhoti or Ayesha. Those things could be taken care of. But he'd again spoiled another chance of setting things right.
He had been shocked to the core when Priya had confessed that she'd loved him. He had been unable to react ….. as he had not imagined in his wildest of dreams that anyone could love him so much. A fat and unfit man in his mid forties. He had kept quiet, not sure of what to say … what to do. He had been busy saving in a corner of his mind, whatever she'd said.
And again, she was going away from him. It was now time to take action.
He stopped her and pulled her close and engulfed her in a bear hug. The urge to touch her had been too much, more than he could control. He brought his lips down on her lips and pulled her closer. In that brief moment he noted that Priya had closed her eyes. He closed his eyes too, to savour his first kiss. The first act of physical intimacy after so many months of marriage. And finally to the person he loved more than life and who had admitted that she loved him too.
He was lost in the feel. Lost in the abject and utter surrender of his own self in that one kiss. He wanted to put in all his feelings into that act. Whatever he wanted to tell Priya but couldn't. Whatever he wanted her to understand. About him. His lips seemed to be doing the talking for him. Don't go away Priya, they seemed to be saying. Don't ever leave me alone. I cannot survive without you any more. Before you came into my life, I was someone different. A ruthless business tycoon in my professional space. And a hopelessly lonely person outside the professional arena. With no one to call my own. Now you've turned everything upside down. You've changed me so much with your love and with your purity and your innocence and your intelligence that I cannot imagine life without you any more. Please understand Priya, that even after such a fiasco at the fashion show, I am not worried about Chhoti or about Ayesha. I'm only bothered about you. And about us. I don't want any misunderstandings between us. I only want you in my arms. With your heart beating against my heart, as one. Do you not understand me Priya? Ram tried to focus all his feelings into that kiss … to try and make Priya understand … without his having to say anything.
With the first pull on her hands, Priya had been shocked. And she had been bewildered when Ram had pulled her ruthlessly into his arms and brought his face down to hers. She had been wanting this for so long … that she felt she could die in that moment. She closed her eyes to etch this memory in her life forever. This was so special. His first touch. Yes, they had hugged a couple of times earlier but those were different.
Was love so beautiful? That it could transport you to a different world altogether? Where no one existed but the two of them? Where their hearts seemed to beat as one? She was lost, totally lost in that powerful, heart wrenching kiss. She could feel his breadth on her. She opened her eyes to see his face once more.
On opening her eyes, something seemed to click. Why had he pulled her close? Why was he kissing her? His lips seemed to be giving some message to her … that he was there for her … always.
But he didn't love her. She had lost all senses and opened up totally to him that morning. Told him each and every way in which she loved him. And had unashamedly asked him what he felt for her. But he hadn't responded. Had said nothing at all. And when after such an emotional outburst , she had said that she would be going to her mother's place, even then he had been silent. Had not stopped her.
She knew he cared for her. Cared a lot. That was evident in their last one month together. When he'd listened to her and stopped taking his medicines. When he'd tried to surprise her with his crazy antics. When he'd tried to fulfill every silly wish of hers in those special six days of her life. She also knew he trusted her. Relied on her and depended on her for many things. But ….. he didn't love her.
Then why was he so close to her now? In an act of intimacy which was to be shared only with people who loved each other? Was Ram sorry for her? That she had had such a bad day after that outburst in the morning and now this malfunction fiasco. Was he trying to give her, her rights as a wife in that sense? Was he trying to say that it did not matter that he did not love her. He cared for her and would not deny her any priviliges of being his wife. And he would not deny her any physical pleasures also.
She suddenly felt ashamed. Ashamed to be an object of pity. A tear came to her eyes, unbidden and refused to dry up. It slowly made its way down her cheeks.
Ram, on the other hand, was lost in his own thoughts. Having Priya in his arms, so close to him was an overwhelming feeling. He tried to to force her mouth open and deepen the kiss. To feel her more intimately.
It was then that he felt a drop of water on his cheek. What was that? He opened his eyes a bit.
Priya crying? Why? Was she hurt? Angry? Had he moved too fast? She had said that she loved him. Then what was the problem?
He was shocked and slowly released his strong grip around her. Priya straightened herself. Now tears were flowing down her face freely.
Ram : Priya … kya hua? Maine kuch galat kiya?
Priya did not reply.
Ram : Please Priya …
Priya took a deep breadth and shook her head, sadly. After some time, she went off to the washroom to change.
Ram was left standing, alone.
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