Punar Vivah

DOTW: marriage & intimacy.

Sid4TeamCanada thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago

no, this is not an advance DOTW. rather, this is a late one! 😆 thankyou, my behen ravs, for giving me the HUMBLE reminders

actually, i cudnt think of a topic... until today, when i got just SO ANGRY at aarti's friend! ughh!
 
so here's the discussion for this week guys:
 
marriage and intimacy... do they go hand in hand? is it wrong to have an intimacy but not love, in a marriage? what i mean to say is, nowadays these dramas hype SR's so much, that we have come to relate physical intimacy as the MAIN THING about a marriage. ke marriage hui, love hua, now the main thing - physical intimacy. but the fact is, that physical intimacy is not the main thing about marriage. marriage is about so much more important issues than just physical intimacy.
 
i also believe that physical intimacy goes hand in hand with marriage. no, you don't have to have that sort of a physical relationship with your hubby from day one, but you also don't need to have that kind of a dramatic SR as shown in tv's.. there are married couples who are intimate yet may not be crazily in love with each other. arranged marriages are a major example, where at first the couple isn't in love, but gradually develops the compassion and care. but many of those couples do get physically intimate after awhile, while still developing the care and understanding.
 
so, my question is.. what is your take on marriage, and intimacy (physical)... is it unusual to be have a physical relationship with your husband if your marriage is just a compromise, and you're not really in love with each other? is it wrong? or is it natural - just an element of marriage? as in, it is true that a married husband and wife would need each other for physical needs too - it's not wrong to be physically attracted to your spouse, even if you may not be that much in "love".. right? or to just have that physical relationship while not being in love...
 
😳
 
and with that being said, can i plz take a moment to say just how ridiculous this friend of aarti is!  i mean, does she have no idea how fortunate aarti is to get such rishta from such an eligible bachelor and such a reputable family? a guy who is so glad to accept her past AND her kid.. not everyone in our society is like that u know .. and then, just how important it is for aarti to be prepared for this marriage, and to HAPPILY marry yash. and what does the friend expect from aarti? that aarti lives her lifelong marriage with NO INTIMACY with her hubby? just becuz she is marrying for her kid she should not have a real marriage?? WHY? how can you want this for your friend? and on what basis is she putting such atrocious labels on yash?!!! has she seen him in any compromising situation with any girl?! has she seen him EVEN FLIRT with any girl? based on HIS LOOKS she is calling him such stuff? saying that he is only interested in physical intimacy? goshwhat a DUMB friend this is, why is she even aarti's friend! can someone just kick her out! 
Edited by Sid4TeamCanada - 12 years ago

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rainydays. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Since you said I have to comment I is here😎

I don't think it's that important🤔  Like I think that physical intimacy is there but it's not important. What's important is having an understanding with your partner cuz you have to spend the rest of your life with them so would you really wanna be someone you're not mentally compatible with and don't really care about?🤔 I forget what else you said but in my defense it's a lamba post🤣

And for Mansi, no comments. She's not being very supportive and she doesn't even know Yash and she's already judging him😕 Is this supposed to be a way to show us how men in India are?🤔 Cuz I can't relate it guys here where I live🤔
jyoti06 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Very interesting points 👏👏
 
 
I feel in real world there r girls like Mansi who hv this misconception that Marriage= physical intimacy or lust ...but the reality is this physical intimacy or lust is temporary and if one feels a relationship can b based on just these two factors ,then it wont last for long but maximum for 1 or 2 yrs till that physical hunger is within u for your partner ...once that dies down ,the relationship also starts developing cracks  because u r not emotionally bonded to your partner and if there r no emotional attachments for your partner ,no relationship can work in long run...
 
 
The main foundation of marriage should b trust ,understanding and most important Companionship ...If these 3 factors are not present in a marriage ,it cannot b successful ..
 
 
Physical intimacy is just a part of marriage as every human has their own biological needs but it cannot b a foundation of marriage ever ...the main foundation of marriage mainly depends on  trust ,understanding and companionship ,..😳
 
 
Marriage and intimacy does go hand in hand but intimacy can never be a factor for a strong foundation of marriage 😊
Edited by jyoti06 - 12 years ago
sonudew thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
yeah..frm my personal experience,  it nvr is easy to be physically intimate with smebody wen  ur heart is not involved in it...like u knw this is at the beginning of ur marriage,,, as days pass by u get 2 know each other well, accept and understand each other as a person and finally u start loving yr better half and then may be SR will make sense in it and be natural..its kind of factual yet it is not the take or situation at present,,for sme ppl marriage may be a compromise but later on it may be like a mills and boon..for some others lif is not smooth and they are nt destined to get love...still i dont thnk that physical intimacy is essential as understanding each others values and trusting and caring and supporting each other is more important than others...


OMG.. wat a women is maansi..she is not a good frend.. if you dont support ur frend during tough situtation den y are u der..i thnk maansi is a flirt...omg...wat a women...

Huma- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Firstly Superb post 👏

Well i think physical intimacy is ofcurse present  but its secondary thing sucessful marrige  depends on Understanding faith n trust! u cant spend ur whole lyf on just physical attraction and in our culture (talking about asian countries) mostly relation stood on Understanding &  on love bases not on physical needs ( that's my observation) ! 

And Maansi is judging yash on her personal experiance i mean she is going through this thing but wht she is doing that's completely wrong  i mean she should built her confidence ..  I have a married friend n she keep sharing  her experiane about this thing to my other friends who r soon going to marry  not in open words :P but after her experiance i can say marrige is  much much more then just physical need ..:)
Edited by Huma77 - 12 years ago
Huma- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
This content was originally posted by: Huma77

Firstly Superb post 👏

Well i think physical intimacy is ofcurse present  but its secondary thing sucessful marrige  depends on Understanding faith n trust! u cant spend ur whole lyf on just physical attraction and in our culture (talking about asian countries) mostly relation stood on Understanding &  on love bases not on physical needs ( that's my observation) ! 

And Maansi is judging yash on her personal experiance i mean she is going through this thing but wht she is doing that's completely wrong  i mean she should built her confidence ..  I have a married friend n she keep sharing  her experiane about this thing to my other friends who r soon going to marry  not in open words :P but after hearing her experiance i can say marrige is  much much more then just physical need ..:)



lamba reply to lambu post waise i can discuss more n moree on this topic  😆
Edited by Huma77 - 12 years ago
dash_aryan thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Aarti's Friends Character is Negative...
rainydays. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
@ Huma: I thought that too🤔 But what personal experience does she have to go by? Just her husband. That's one guy. And if we're gonna include Prashant in this then well he did love Aarti and stayed with her for a while before leaving cuz he found someone else🤔 I dunno if he actually fits Mansi's description for this so we'll say 1.5 men. Basically she's saying stuff based on 1.5 men which is stupid😕
49erFan thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Being a married a woman, a marriage is based on trust, faith for each other and  understanding! 

Our culture is such that some think marriage is just based on bringing a bahu to take care of her man and his family, well I beg to differ on that one! 

When two people join hands they take a vow in front of all to be there for each other in good and bad times too!  Ek doosre ka bharosa! 

Physical relationship? Hmmm it does play a big part, but it is not a foundation of marriage, yes its important but not as important as trust and being there for for each other!
shindom thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Well, physical intimacy, trust and faith go hand in hand for a successful married life.  Especially in arranged marriages people especially men do not wait till they develop trust and faith.  In the early stages of marriage physical intimacy plays an important role and gradually you develop trust and faith in each other and then they all go hand in hand.

For instance, if you tell your hubby that trust and faith are more important and deny him physical intimacy, then you will know how he changes towards you.  For men phy. int. is very much important in their lives than for women.