ArHi FF: Jaane Doh Naa Updated 150 [Feb 4, '13] - Page 56

 

However, he was far from admiring the aesthetics of the lavish hall he found himself in; the more pressing matter was watching the two friends, struggling to hold on to reality, which he feared may not include their friendship once dawn approached.

 

"Erm fne," came Ayesha's drugged voice. She could barely keep her eyes open as the countless shots of vodka seemed to finally catch up.

 

"I know," Khushi answered, not needing a translation for the warped words. "But why don't you sleep in my room today?"

 

Ayesha glared at Khushi, her eyes turning slightly red at the effort. "I'm sleeping my room."

 

She then pushed off Khushi's hand, which was tightly clamped on her shoulder and headed to what Arnav assumed was her bedroom.

 

Only – "Careful!" said Khushi, pulling her back, and stopping her just in time from a collision with the wall.

 

"Khushi," Ayesha said, articulating every word with great struggle. "I'm fine."

 

"But-"

 

It appeared that the concern was too much, for Ayesha snapped, "Leave me alone! I don't need you!"

 

Khushi was startled to hear the harsh tone. Tears welled up in her eyes, as Ayesha shrugged off her arm and wobbily made her way into her room.

 

Arnav silently watched the exchange, his heart torn to see the pain etched on Khushi's face. He knew exactly what it felt like to be pushed away. "She will be fine," he assured softly.

 

She didn't seem to hear him, for her eyes were still trained on the door from which Ayesha disappeared.

 

Just as he took a step forward, his hand itching to wipe away a lone tear that escaped her eye, a loud crashed echoed through the apartment. Khushi closed her eyes, her hands clenching into fists; She was helpless.

 

"I will go," Arnav said suddenly, understanding her predicament. It was in her nature to respect others' wishes, even in the most desperate of times. But it wasn't in his.

 

Taking a deep breath, he quickly walked through the doorway and found himself in the middle of a exquisitely decorated room in varying hues of violet. He raked the room, his eyes lingering at the dressing table, where he found broken pieces of glass – Ayesha seemed to have bumped into the dresser, from which a few perfume bottles fell and shattered into shards.

 

Carefully stepping over the broken pieces, he walked across room into the attached balcony, where he was momentarily stunned. Situated on the fourteenth floor, the balcony looked out on the glorious city of Pune, illuminated by countless lights scattered across the hills. Numerous buildings stood tall against the moonlight, as the roads in between dwindled out of sight. However, Arnav's eyes were only on one person.

 

Surprisingly standing upright, Ayesha stared darkly out into the night. He cleared his throat, hoping she would turn around, but was out of luck.

 

"Its beautiful isn't it?" she asked, her voice extremely quiet.

 

He didn't answer.

 

"When I was little," she continued. "I always told myself I would buy a house that was on the highest hill, so that every morning I can rise with the sun and every evening, watch the moon shine. Ofcourse, they would laught at me - the other kids at the orphanage. And even the wardens for that matter… but atleast they had the sense to laugh behind my back. They all used to think the same – I didn't even have a morsel of food to eat without mercy, how did I even dare to dream about a luxurious house?"

 

She paused as the terrible memories flashed across her mind taking her back to the cold, lonely halls of Delhi's Ashram, the orphanage which adopted her when she was barely a year old.

 

"But I did dare," she said, almost feeling the gloom the place pressed on the innocent lives it trapped inside its walls. "I dared to dream because I knew I would get out. And I did.  I studied so hard, that even the teachers were amazed. Finally, one day, I was old enough to leave. It was probably the happiest day of my life."

 

Ayesha then turned to look at him, her hands clutching onto the railing. Arnav watched her carefully, assessing if she could hold herself up. To his amazement, she was quite still.

 

"Ofcourse," she said, a sarcastic smile spreading across her face. "There is a reason why orphans are different. And I learned that a bit too late. You see, we don't know the basics of survival. The wardens are nice, but definitely not nice enough to tell you who to trust and who not to. They conveniently forget to warn you how f*cked up this world is, in the hope that you will be inspired to leave. Only, no one bought it except for me. I actually believed them."

 

Arnav vaguely wondered if she knew what was spilling from her mouth; this was not a story that was meant for his ears. But he knew better than to stop her.

 

"I was twenty-two," Ayesha said, looking past him to something he couldn't see. "When I first met him. Nayan… the guy who every girl dreamed out. Smart… handsome… rich… I thought it was my good fortune I bumped into him outside a coffee shop. I found out later, it wasn't a coincidence. He planned it out… just like how he planned to sleep with me. Because screwing me, will give him a one-way ticket to everything he ever wanted."

 

She seemed to have noticed Arnav's presence, for her eyes suddenly focused on him. He knew then that it was her talking and not the alcohol.

 

 "Confused?" Ayesha asked, when his face remained like a blank slate. "Its quite simple actually… getting into bed with me would mean I would never question his loyalty. Which meant he could take anything from me and I wouldn't even know.  It's pretty stupid on my part isn't it? That I didn't see it come?"

 

Arnav couldn't disagree more, because he knew it is impossible to predict how a person turns out because like her, he too was a victim of fate. Who would have guessed that Shyam, the man who accepted his sister with no questions asked, was the rotten seed in his family?

 

"I know it was stupid," she answered. "Because I trusted him. Instead I should have asked why I never saw him come in a BWM, when he claimed his father was super rich. I should have asked, why his father supposedly kicked him out of the house, when he was such an ideal son. I should have asked why he never met me outside my apartment, when he claimed he loved me. I should have asked why he never showed me his designs, when he said he was a fashion designer, aiming for the big stage like me. I should have asked him why he was so interested in what I sketched, when my designing had nothing to do with our relationship."

 

Ayesha shook her head in disgust. "I didn't, because I thought the man who slept with me, would have the decency to actually tell me the truth. I was wrong… the truth is, he never had a rich father, who kicked him out to earn a living for himself. He never had an orthodox father, who would completely write him out of the will, if he knew that I, an orphan, was his son's girlfriend. It was all a lie to cover up why he never took me out – you see, he couldn't risk getting caught with me. Nina wouldn't think twice about ending his career in the industry, if she got as much as whiff of his affair… with me."

 

"Nina?" Arnav asked confused.

 

"Yeah," she replied. "The same Nina Rathore who you had a contract with for almost three years. The same Nina, who like me and countless others, wanted to make it big… the only difference is that she had the money for it. So, she started her own line of clothing… which flopped even before it got launched. So, she hired Nayan and all of sudden, her designs were praised… critics started noticing her and the famous AR Designs signed a contract with her."

 

It suddenly clicked. Arnav could very clearly recollect Aman recommending Nina Rathore when he was first looking to expand his business in Pune almost three years ago. He himself was very impressed by some of her designs. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that that one decision would come back to haunt him like this.

 

"Ofcourse… I didn't know any of this," Ayesha said, forcing him to snap out of his thoughts. "For almost two years, Nayan worked with her… going back and forth from Delhi to Pune. I should have noticed then… he always came back after signing a new contract, because he needed outfits to present. But at that time, I didn't care. I was happy he was getting recognized… Though I overlooked for what… And finally,  after months, he came home one evening, announcing the lavish party thrown by the great Arnav Singh Raizada."

 

She snorted as the memory flooded into her mind. "I was ecstatic… I begged Nayan to take me. But he was as adamant as ever. I didn't care though; I decided I would go no matter what! And after days of preparation, when I finally got there… guess what happened?!"

 

Arnav stared at her, his eyes transfixed. He remembered that party as if it was yesterday.

 

"It blew up in my face." She said it so simply, and yet, it hung heavily in the air between them. "What I thought were meetings, was actually his way of getting what he wanted… like how he slept me, he slept with her. I gave him the designs and she gave him the money. Only, her relationship was legitimate and mine was illicit."

 

Ayesha looked at Arnav, an insane smile working its way up her ghostly face. "You remember it, right?" she asked. "Nina announcing her engagement as if it was the best thing in the world… the dress… I was shocked. I didn't even understand what was going on. All I knew was that I had to get out and when Nayan stopped me…"

 

She didn't need to finish. The infamous slap suddenly echoed soundlessly through the air.

 

"Its ironic isn't it," she asked. "I was his girlfriend… I was the one who he promised to marry first. And yet, I became the affair. When I walked out on him that day, I thought I was leaving behind a bad memory… but no, I was leaving behind everything."

 

Silence followed her words as she was once again stuck between memories of the past.

 

 "I should have stayed," she said wistfully. "Atleast I would have had some satisfication…"

 

For the first time ever, Arnav couldn't help but agree. He too wished, she stayed, for things would have been very different now. After exiting the party that night, reporters turned to Nayan for an explanation, as the well-deserved smack was witnessed by all. As expected, the headlines that followed the next day all blamed Ayesha, for 'trying to steal Nayan and Nina's glory'.

 

"It was all gone," Ayesha whispered. "I hoped that he stole only that dress… but no, he took every single design I ever made. He was taking them ever since he met me and I didn't even have a clue. He was just screwing with me, so that he could have an easy access to both my sketchbook and my mouth, which despite being right, was shut. Because, afterall he was first  to launch the designs… "

 

Arnav was at a loss of words. How could he even begin to console someone who has been wronged on so many accounts?

 

"So what now?" she said, turning around to face the city once again. "I lost… I thought I was smart enough to get out of an orphanage, but I was dumb enough to believe the world outside was better place."

 

He was silent.

 

"You know," she continued, her voice louder. "Khushi always tells me to believe in God.. her Devi Maiyya. But what am I supposed to believe? That she will indefinitely ruin my life, like how she has been so far?"

 

And to Arnav's astonishment, she suddenly looked up into skies and yelled, "Are you happy now? Or is there anything else you need from me?"

 

"Ayesha!" he called, worried at the unexpected outburst.

 

She didn't stop. "You took my parents," she shouted.  "I accepted it. You made my life a joke… I accepted that too.  Then why is it that you are not satisfied? Do you want me to give my life too?"

 

"Ayesha," he repeated. "Listen-"

 

"No!" she interrupted, whipping around to look at him. "I am tired of listening… I am tired of making up excuses for what happens. I am tried of being kicked around like a football!"

 

"And you think screaming like this will change any of that?"

 

"SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?" She roared. "PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING IS OKAY?"

 

Arnav didn't have an answer.

 

"BECAUSE GUESS WHAT MR. RAIZADA?! IT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING! NO MATTER WHERE I GO, OR WHAT I DO, I WILL STILL FEEL THE PAIN!!"

 

"I know-"

 

"You don't know anything," she bellowed. "You don't know what it feels like to grow up in a place where no one gives a damn about you! To get through the nights, without having someone assure you that there is nothing to be afraid of in the dark! To trust someone beyond yourself, only to know that he doesn't give a rat's a*s about you!"

 

Her voice began to crack, as tears clouded her eyes. "You don't know anything!"

 

Pity suddenly washed over Arnav as he watched her try to rein in her despair. But it was pointless – every little thing in her twenty-five years of life seemed to finally add up and the pain they brought tumbled out like water in a dam.

 

"But tell me something," she said in a broken voice. "Why is that I am always the one targeted? What did I ever do, that everything I touch, blows up in my face? Am I seriously that bad of a person?!"

 

Arnav slowly shook his head. "If that's the case," he said. "Then how did you leave him? If everything you touch becomes bad, then how did you start over again?"

 

She didn't answer, the lump in her throat getting bigger.

 

"Trust me when I say this," he continued. "You are lucky you got out… if not, you would still be with him, and he would still be stealing your work."

 

Ayesha closed her eyes, the tears spilling over and rolling down her cheeks. "I am a bad person," she whispered. "That's why no one stays with me… my parents… Nayan… and even Khushi one day…"

 

"Listen to me Ayesha," he said, interrupting her mumble. "Every single person dies to be you… do you have any idea the number of heads that turned when you entered the room today? It may have been Nina's party, but you took the limelight!"

 

"WELL, I DON'T WANT TO BE THE LIMELIGHT THEN!!" she yelled frustrated. "I AM A PERSON, NOT A BRAND!"

 

And repeating that like a mantra, Ayesha crumpled to the floor as heavy sobs broke through her restraints. Arnav slowly walked forward and slid down next to her, letting her pour out her anguish at all the unjust things in her life. He couldn't help but notice the unnatural similarities between her and his delicate sister – both betrayed by the love of their lives. Only, Ayesha seemed to be letting go, slowly but surely and his sister… well, he had no clue what to say about her.

 

Finally, it was long after Ayesha settled into silence that Arnav noticed her head resting on his shoulder. The exhaustion and alcohol seemed to have finally taken a toll on her. Careful not to wake her, he slowly picked her up in his arms and carried her into the room, gently tucking her into the soft covers of the bed.

 

Taking one last look at her, he turned off the lights and left.

 

Khushi didn't appear to have moved  since he last saw her. She was leaning against the wall, the tear tracks fresh on her face. No doubt, she heard Ayesha's outburst as clearly as he did.

 

Averting his eyes, he made his way to the door, when-

 

"Arnavji?"

 

He froze upon hearing her sweet voice echo through the silent room. He whipped around not believeing his ears; after days of ignorance, this was the first time she directly addressed him in almost two years.

 

"Thank you," she said, her resentment at him completely forgotten.

 

Arnav gingerly took a step towards her. "For what?"

 

"For saving her from Nayan," she answered and then added, "and from herself."

 

"That's because I owe her a lot Khushi."

 

A line appeared on her forehead.

 

"She took care of you when no one else did," he explained, answering her unspoken question. "Including me."

 

And even though he desperately wished otherwise, Arnav grudgingly turned around and left the room, leaving a somewhat bewildered Khushi behind.