Jaane Doh Naa
-CHAPTER EIGHTEEN-
A Beaten Path
There was no word to describe it.
It was neither a feeling nor a thought. It was a fact, a praxis or simply put,
a second nature that was hard to notice and once noticed, never forgotten.
But to Khushi it was enslavement
for it only reminded her of the shackles bound to her limbs as she cut through
time. It was torture in its purest and most deadly form.
"Khushiii!!!"
"Hmmmβ¦"
"Khushi wake up!!"
It was impossible to knock out
the darkness engulfing her, it was almost suffocating to not be able to see the
light and yet, there was nothing she could do but let her mind become
imprisoned in memories.
"Come on! Get up!"
"What?!" she grumbled, finally
opening her eyes to painfully welcome the morning light.
"We got it! We are the opening
show in Pune's Fashion Week!"
Khushi stared blankly at her best
friend, failing miserably to understand what was so exciting about the news
that had to be announced at 6 o'clock
in the morning.
"Don't you get it?!" Ayesha
exclaimed, jumping up and down the bed. "We are the opening show!!"
"So?"
The reply was so instantenous
that Khushi was sure she couldn't
have repressed it even if she tried. And the reaction to it was even more
instant; Ayesha was disappearing through the door even before she blinked.
Hey
Devi Maiyya, Khushi thought shaking her head.
What is so exciting about being the
opening show? It just added one more problem to my already long list of
complications.
And with a sigh, she crept out of
the warm covers and into the bathroom for a long shower. It was almost an hour
later that she emerged from her room, fully dressed for a long day full of more issues to solve.
"So," she asked, seating herself
on the sofa with her daily dose of tea. "What are the plans for being the
opening show?"
"As if you care," Ayesha scoffed.
"Go back to sleeping."
"Okay, I am sorry! Its not a
necessity that I like the same things as you do!"
"Yeah⦠but you could have shown a
little more excitement. You know how
happy I was when Arnav told me the news?"
Khushi merely sipped her tea in
silence. The mention of the one name she wished to forget was not a good sign
this early in the morning even though she long since accepted it was an
impossible wish. She was so tightly caught in the tangle of Arnav Singh Raizada
that it wasn't even worth putting in the effort to unravel herself.
"Well," she said, changing the
topic. "I am glad that you are happy. When do you want to check out the venue?"
"Oh shit!"
"What happened?"
"I was supposed to give the final
plan of the ramp to Arnav! It completely slipped my mind. Shit shit shit!"
Khushi didn't react. It was
almost a rountine now to see her best friend freak out over the most minute of
things.
"Are you free today?"
Crap!
She knew too well which road the
conversation was turning towards. "No."
"Oh come on! Please?"
"No."
"Please Khushi!" Ayesha begged.
"I know you hate him and I would I have gone myself, but I have a meeting with
the bank and there really is no one else who can go."
"Wrong," Khushi replied, putting
down the now empty cup. "I don't hate him. I just don't care. And Amanji can
pick up the file."
"If you don't care, then why
won't you go?"
Khushi was silent.
It wasn't that she didn't care,
and at the same time it wasn't that she did
care. It was a strange feeling⦠a habit almost which she knew was wrong, and
yet couldn't get herself end. No matter how much she tried to let go of the
past and importantly of him, it
seemed to hang on that much more tightly.
And putting herself directly on
that path which appeared to amplify this unknown dependence seemed both
pathetic and pointless.
"Please?"
"Fine. I will go."
"I love you!"
"Yeah, yeah whatever," Khushi
muttered, before picking up her purse and the file in question, completely
oblivious to the silent smile playing on Ayesha's lips.
*
* *
"I TOLD YOU AN HOUR AGO TO MAKE THE LIST! HOW CAN YOU
BE SO CARELESS?!"
"Sir-"
"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?"
"I-"
"TEN MINUTES! YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES TO PUT THAT LIST ON MY DESK. IF
ITS NOT THERE BY THEN, SHOW YOURSELF OUT OF THIS COMPANY!"
Khushi was stunned at the sight
in front of her. She had just entered the Pune branch of AR Designs when she heard the loud yells of Aman emanating from
room. It seemed he was screaming at a terrified employee, who quickly fled the scene
with tears running down her face.
"Can I help you ma'am?"
Khushi turned soundlessly to be
greeted by an expectant receptionist.
"Ermmβ¦" Khushi answered, trying
to push the shock from her voice. "Is⦠is Aman alright?"
The receptionist stared at her,
no doubt surprised with the question. "So, are you here to see Mr. Mathur then?"
It was difficult to miss the 'no-nonsense'
attitude emanating from the poised receptionist. It was clear that she did not
want to be the next one to fall under Aman's radar.
"No," Khushi answered. "I am here
to meet Mr. Raizada. Is he in his cabin?"
"Do you have an appointment?"
"Umm⦠not exactly. But he would
want to see-"
"I am sorry, I can't let you go
in without an appointment. Mr. Raizada is a busy man."
"I know, but I need to give him
this file. Its pretty important."
"Unfortunately-"
"Bhabhi?!"
Khushi thanked her stars to hear
Aman and more so his rather peaceful tone. "Hello Amanji," she greeted politely.
"How are you?"
"Good," he answered. "How come
you are here?"
"I wanted to drop this file off.
Ayesha said its important, but I don't have an appointment, so can yo-"
Khushi stopped mid-sentence, for
Aman had angrily turned to the receptionist. "You kept her waiting?"
"Err⦠Sir, she didn't have an
app-"
"Let me get this straight; you
are asking Khushi Singh Raizada for
an appointment?"
The receptionist blanched. "I
didn't know she was-"
"Then I suggest you find out."
And without waiting for a response,
Aman turned to Khushi and led her into the office towards Arnav's cabin.
"Is everything alright?" Khushi
blurted as soon as they left the entrance hall.
"Ofcourse! Why do you ask?"
"Well, its not everyday the cool
and composed Aman Mathur explodes on every person he sees."
Aman pressed his lips but didn't
answer.
"What?" Khushi asked, catching
his expression. "Is it a secret?"
They were a few steps from
Arnav's cabin when Aman finally answered. "I didn't mean to yell at them. Its
just came out like that⦠it's been a stressful week."
"Why don't you take a few days
off?"
Aman's eyes widened. "Off?" he
repeated as if Khushi suggested the end of the world. "No no⦠I can't take an off.
Especially now when Sir isβ¦"
"When what?"
They were in front of the door
now and Khushi turned to face a downcast Aman. "You say I am your Bhabhi
right?"
He let out a sigh. "Its nothing
really⦠Sir hasn't been his normal self the past week. So, I'm trying to take
care of things in the company so he can sort out his⦠issues."
"What kind of issues?"
Aman hesitated. "I'm not sure,"
he said carefully. And after a moment's thought, added, "I think he misses his
family⦠its not easy being alone. Being the one left behind."
Khushi averted her eyes. It was
obvious he was talking about her; only she had no intention to discuss it. She
felt no remorse for walking out of Shantivaan
that day.
"Thank you for letting me in,"
she finally said, before disappearing into the cabin.
Arnav was leaning back in his
chair with his eyes closed when Khushi timidly entered. If it wasn't for his
rather stiff stature, she would have mistaken him to be sleeping.
"Ahem," she said.
"Did you bring the tablet?" he
asked, not moving from his stance.
"Its me⦠Khushi."
Arnav eyes snapped open as he
hurriedly sat up, his expression caught in surprise. It was then that Khushi
noticed the dark bags under his eyes. It was clear that he hadn't been
sleeping.
"I came to drop this off," she
continued, handing him the file. "Ayesha was busy."
He nodded. "Sit⦠do you want to
have something? Tea?"
"I have to go⦠a lot of things to
finish for the show."
He didn't object. "Thank you for bringing
the file."
Having no other choice, she
turned to leave. Except, she couldn't. She found herself turning back to watch
a tired Arnav rubbing his temples in pain.
There it was again⦠the
enslavement, the nameless second nature, which this time pushed her to speak. "Do
you want coffee?"
Arnav looked at her, once again
caught off guard. "Why?"
"Because you have a headache,"
she answered. "And coffee makes it go away."
He didn't reply, and instead
continued to stare at her as if seeing her for the first time.
"What?" she asked when the
silence became unbearable.
"You don't have to⦠worry," he
said slowly, choosing his words with great care. "I know you don't want to see
me right now, so you can go."
"And who told you that?"
"Told me what?"
"Who told you that I don't want
to see you right now?"
"I just know."
"Oh! I forgot - the all mighty
Arnav Singh Raizada knows everything. Unfortunately, I happen to disagree. So,
tell me β do you want coffee?"
"Aman can bring it."
"Amanji is busy."
"Then someone else will bring
it."
"They are busy as well."
"Khushi, I pay them-"
"To work," she interrupted. "Not to be your butler."
"Then why are you doing it? I
didn't give you anything."
"Because I want to."
Arnav once again lapsed into
silence.
"Where is the cafeteria?" she
asked.
He merely picked up the phone in
answer and after dialling a number, said, "Send two coffees."
Khushi rolled her eyes. "I said I would bring it!"
He didn't answer.
"Have you been sleeping at all?"
When he continued to remain
quiet, Khushi let out a sigh and walked around the desk to his chair. She
gently pulled his head back and began to press his forehead.
Arnav neither stopped nor
encouraged her. He sat still, his eyes staring at the ceiling, his heart awfully
silent.
"You can relax!" she said after a
few minutes of watching his rigid posture. "I am not going to kill you."
"You don't have to do this," he
began. "I am fine."
"I can see that," she replied sarcastically. "Tell me, when was the last
time you slept for a good eight hours?"
"I sleep Khushi."
"Clearly you don't! And when was
the last time you ate? You know full well that you are diabetic and have to eat
on time. If you don't, then you have go to the doctor and get an-"
"Injection. I know."
"Then why don't you take care of
yourself?! Just imagine if Di was here. She will go crazy seeing you like
this."
"Like what?"
"Like this! Stressed outβ¦ sleeplessβ¦ foodlessβ¦
do you know how much Amanji is worried? He-"
"So Aman told you all this?!"
"No! Ofcourse not!"
"Then how do you know?"
"I just know."
"Oh! I forgot β the all mighty
Khushi Singh Raizada knows everything. Unfortunately, I happen to disagree. So,
tell me β did Aman whine about me?"
"He is not a five year old to
whine. He just talked⦠normally."
"Normal for a five year old you
mean?"
"Why do you have to argue for
everything?"
"Because you never agree with
anything I say."
"That's because you are wrong
half the time."
"Well, what about the other half
of the time I am right?"
"You are right only because I let you be right."
"Seriously? You really are crazy!"
"And yet you love me. So, be quiet!"
It flowed so easily from her
mouth that she didn't even realize the truth that slipped; the acceptance,
which she refused to acknowledge for the past three weeks. Arnav listened with
rapt attention, waiting to her denial, her regret but it never came. She
continued massaging his head as if she owned him with full right.
"It's fine," he said finally.
"You can go."
"And what about the coffee you
made poor Amanji get for me?"
"Huh?"
"You ordered two coffees⦠not
one."
And for the first time in that
week, a small smile began to work its way up Arnav's face. He felt light headed
as a rush began from his numb toes, going all the way up to his head, warming
everything along its way.
Khushi appeared to have felt the
sudden change coursing through his body, for she stopped pressing his head and
took a seat across the table.
"So, is Dr. Khushi satisfied with
her diagnosis?"
"Dr. Khushi is always satisfied
with the diagnosis. It's the treatment she doesn't approve."
"Oh⦠So in that case, I will take
utmost care to make sure she is happy this time around."
"For that you have to eat and
sleep and take medicines. Not lock yourself up in this cabin, letting the
company go chaotic."
Arnav nodded, too happy to
correct her. He knew perfectly well the status of his company or rather the
plight of Aman. And even though he stayed in the four walls of his secluded
cabin, he never shied away from his responsibilities. He was aware of every
single thing that transpired in his reign and more importantly he was right
behind his employees should anything happen.
But alas! No one would believe
him even if he tried explaining. Just like how no one would believe how much he
protected his family.
Their coffees finally arrived,
and the duo quickly settled into silence sipping the bitter liquid
absentmindedly. Afterall, what can
one say after everything that happened? It seemed almost silly that she fussed
about his health when a week ago, she made it clear that she would never
forgive him.
"I should get going," Khushi said,
long after the coffee was finished.
"Yeah," he agreed, knowing that
extending this unusual meeting any further was impossible. "You have work to
do."
"And you too. Well, take care."
And with that Khushi stood up to
leave, determined to keep her feet moving atleast until they were out of the
cabin. But when did fate ever let her take the easy path?
"Why does it matter that I am
sleepless and foodless?"
She halted her pace as his words
hit her. They weren't accusing like the last time they met and neither were
they demanding. They were simply curious.
And despite her resolve, Khushi
found herself turning back to look at the man she hoped to forget and was struck
into a momentary silence for she saw not the powerful Arnav Singh Raizada, but
a burning man on the brink of hell. It troubled her so much to see him restless
and forlorn that she couldn't help but answer his question.
"Because I am your wife."
It wasn't a lie, but she would be
lying if she said it was the truth. It was just an innocent fact, which drew
her to great lengths. And it was as she exited AR Designs that she finally understood the uneasiness swamping her
for the past one week.
It so happened that there was a name for the nameless habit. It
was addiction.