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I just thought of tell you something *mere dil ki baat*. Not sure where
it's heading, or if it's heading anywhere at all...First let me introduce myself.. Myself Jeevika Vadhera but
More than anything else, m known as Manvi's Di Meri mannu.. Meri Baby Mannu...My Everything...Sab kuch sirf Mannu...
Par Kyun log nahin samajh paate mere pyar ko.. Kyun mere har ek action ko negative le liya jaata hai...?
When we were kids, mamma left us... Mamma ke jaane ka dukh bohat zyada tha mere liye shayad isliye main Mannu ka jaldi samajh paayi aur khud ko mamma ki jagah rakh liya aur Manvi ko hamesha apni jagah... isliye kyunki main use easily samajh paaun.. Thats why main kehti hun ki woh meri parchaayi hai..meri dhadkan hai..Meri aatma hai... in short woh MAIN hun... khud se sab pyar karte hain.. care karte hain..apne aap ko idhar udhar ki takleef, problems se bachaate hain..toh kya buraayi hai??AAP LOG NAHIN KARTE?? Main karti hun toh kyun mujhpe ungliyan uthaayi jaati hai...?
ek baar nahin..do baar nahin..yeh shuru se hota aaya hai aur ab tak ho raha hai...Main kuch bhi karun..woh galat lagta hai sabko...Jab Manvi ki side li toh sabne kaha ki main sirf usi ke baare mein sochti hun...aur ek achi WIFE nahin hun..Gharwalon ka saath diya toh sab kehne lage ki Yeh kaisi ek hazaron wali behna hui?? Mannu ka saath na dun toh main galat...main uska saath dun toh bhi galat?? KYUN??
Par Kuch cheezein hain mujh mein jo main badal nahin sakti.. Mera aur Manvi ka rishta sirf naam ka nahin hai... Kehne ko main badi behan hun uski par maine apne bache ki tarah paala hai use... toh mera har haq banta hai uspe...main use daantu, maarun ya kuch bhi karun toh kyun har kisi ko lagta hai ki main over react karti hun... kyun kehte ho ki main hukum chalaati hun ki "Mannu yeh mat kar woh mat kar"..Agar kisi ko lagta hai ki main hitler jaise behave karti hun toh Haan karti hun..kyun na karun? Jahan baat Mannu ki protection, uski care, uski health ki hogi wahan mujhe kuch bhi banna manzoor hai...
Pehle main isliye BURI thi aap logon ki nazron mein ki main Manvi ko iss beemari ki haalat mein bhi khul ke jeene nahin deti..main achi behan nahin hun.. Par ab jab maine Ek aise serious point pe aake socha hai kuch jahan Mannu ko main Zindagi de sakti hun tab bhi kyun mujhe doshi thehraya jaa raha hai??? This time I dont want to explain why I ended up in this position kyunki I know koi uss nazariye se nahin dekh paayega jis nazariye se main dekh rahi hun situation ko... Jo dard mere seene mein hai woh na koi dekh paayega na hi koi kabhi samajh paayega...
For hell sake she is My LIFE...- the joy of my life 'the only person I can think of'she makes me laugh, she reduces me to tears, there are times when she even irritates me. But when I close my eyes at night, the one emotion that stays with me is the feeling ki "meri Mannu thik hai..Meri nazron ke saamne hai"... toh kaise use main kuch hone de sakti hun??? use marta hua main nahin chod sakti.. Main maanti hun ki bohat logon ka dil todungi agar main abortion ka step uthaati hun buttt yahan pe aake agar koi mujhe selfish kehta hai toh kahe...hun main selfish..main nahin jaane de sakti Mannu ko..usi ki wajah se toh main saansein leti hun..woh nahin hogi toh main kaise jiyungi...main nahin jiyungi toh mere ander pal rahi nanhi si jaan kaise aa paayegi duniya mein... aur jiska duniya mein abhi aana likha hi nahin toh main kyun uski wajah se Mannu ko marta chod dun?? Main aisi hi hun.. apne aane wale bache, jise maine na kabhi dekha hai, naa jaana hai, jiska ehsaas bhi mujhe nahin ho paa raha kyunki mera ek bacha zindagi aur maut se lad raha hai, uski wajah se main Mannu ko marne nahin de sakti... aur iss wajah se mujhse har koi chaahe muh kyun na mod le...main peeche nahin hatungi..chahe meri Mannu hi mujhse baat karna kyun na chod de...kamse kam mujhe iss baat ki tasalli toh hogi ki woh thik hai..surakshit hai...Mujhe zara sa chakkar aaye toh woh kaise bechain ho jaati hai..Woh itne bade mushkil daur se guzar rahi hai aur meri bechaini kisi ko nahin dikh rahi??? Mera kya haal hota hai yeh kisi ko nahin pata? Mera har pal kaise beet ta hai yeh sirf main jaanti hun...
Meri chuppi ka galat matlab nikaal liya jaata hai... Main react nahin karti kabhi kabhi iska matlab yeh nahin ki mujhe samajh nahin hai ya main galat hun... ya main himmat haar chuki hun.. Main bhi insaan hun...mujhe bhi ghabrahat hoti hai..mujhe bhi dar lagta hai ..Apne aap ko koi meri jagah pe koi rakhe toh samjhe na ki mere dil pe kya beet ti hai..kaise main pal pal tadapti hun...aise dorahe pe hun jahan mere dono haathon mein se kisi ek haath ko kaatne ko kaha gaya hai... Lekin koi meri baat kyun samjhega..meri takleef kyun samjhega..main roti rahun..bilakhti rahun.. mera dil bekrar rahe..Raaton ko neend bhi naa aaye...aaj kal duniya mein kisi ko apno ki parwaah nahin hai koi meri parwah kyun karega... Kyunki sabke liye main shayad shuru se galat thi aur galat hi rahungi..aur jab main galat hun toh main apni Mannu ko bachane ke liye yeh abortion wali galti bhi karke hi rahungi... Because for me - One day begins and another day ends. The sun rises and the moon sets, and the moon rises and the sun sets. Kabhi roshni andhere ko haraa deti hai toh kabhi andhera roshni pe chaa jata hai.. Ek hasta hai toh doosra rota hai...someone is happy only because someone else is sad. Life goe'doesn't go on. At some point, at some specific point during your life, everyone is faced with two choices. Kahin Khushi toh Kahin gham.. The other path is always the tricky one. It's winds you up in a turbulence of joy and sorrow, and the maze it puts forward for you is the one you have to figure it. It gives you happiness only to snatch it, it gives you sorrow only to wipe your tears, and at the end of the road, it makes you smile so brightly...
Ps: Bura na maano baat ka... Yeh pyar hai gilaa nahin..😊
Par Kyun log nahin samajh paate mere pyar ko.. Kyun mere har ek action ko negative le liya jaata hai...?
When we were kids, mamma left us... Mamma ke jaane ka dukh bohat zyada tha mere liye shayad isliye main Mannu ka jaldi samajh paayi aur khud ko mamma ki jagah rakh liya aur Manvi ko hamesha apni jagah... isliye kyunki main use easily samajh paaun.. Thats why main kehti hun ki woh meri parchaayi hai..meri dhadkan hai..Meri aatma hai... in short woh MAIN hun... khud se sab pyar karte hain.. care karte hain..apne aap ko idhar udhar ki takleef, problems se bachaate hain..toh kya buraayi hai??AAP LOG NAHIN KARTE?? Main karti hun toh kyun mujhpe ungliyan uthaayi jaati hai...?
ek baar nahin..do baar nahin..yeh shuru se hota aaya hai aur ab tak ho raha hai...Main kuch bhi karun..woh galat lagta hai sabko...Jab Manvi ki side li toh sabne kaha ki main sirf usi ke baare mein sochti hun...aur ek achi WIFE nahin hun..Gharwalon ka saath diya toh sab kehne lage ki Yeh kaisi ek hazaron wali behna hui?? Mannu ka saath na dun toh main galat...main uska saath dun toh bhi galat?? KYUN??
Par Kuch cheezein hain mujh mein jo main badal nahin sakti.. Mera aur Manvi ka rishta sirf naam ka nahin hai... Kehne ko main badi behan hun uski par maine apne bache ki tarah paala hai use... toh mera har haq banta hai uspe...main use daantu, maarun ya kuch bhi karun toh kyun har kisi ko lagta hai ki main over react karti hun... kyun kehte ho ki main hukum chalaati hun ki "Mannu yeh mat kar woh mat kar"..Agar kisi ko lagta hai ki main hitler jaise behave karti hun toh Haan karti hun..kyun na karun? Jahan baat Mannu ki protection, uski care, uski health ki hogi wahan mujhe kuch bhi banna manzoor hai...
Pehle main isliye BURI thi aap logon ki nazron mein ki main Manvi ko iss beemari ki haalat mein bhi khul ke jeene nahin deti..main achi behan nahin hun.. Par ab jab maine Ek aise serious point pe aake socha hai kuch jahan Mannu ko main Zindagi de sakti hun tab bhi kyun mujhe doshi thehraya jaa raha hai??? This time I dont want to explain why I ended up in this position kyunki I know koi uss nazariye se nahin dekh paayega jis nazariye se main dekh rahi hun situation ko... Jo dard mere seene mein hai woh na koi dekh paayega na hi koi kabhi samajh paayega...
For hell sake she is My LIFE...- the joy of my life 'the only person I can think of'she makes me laugh, she reduces me to tears, there are times when she even irritates me. But when I close my eyes at night, the one emotion that stays with me is the feeling ki "meri Mannu thik hai..Meri nazron ke saamne hai"... toh kaise use main kuch hone de sakti hun??? use marta hua main nahin chod sakti.. Main maanti hun ki bohat logon ka dil todungi agar main abortion ka step uthaati hun buttt yahan pe aake agar koi mujhe selfish kehta hai toh kahe...hun main selfish..main nahin jaane de sakti Mannu ko..usi ki wajah se toh main saansein leti hun..woh nahin hogi toh main kaise jiyungi...main nahin jiyungi toh mere ander pal rahi nanhi si jaan kaise aa paayegi duniya mein... aur jiska duniya mein abhi aana likha hi nahin toh main kyun uski wajah se Mannu ko marta chod dun?? Main aisi hi hun.. apne aane wale bache, jise maine na kabhi dekha hai, naa jaana hai, jiska ehsaas bhi mujhe nahin ho paa raha kyunki mera ek bacha zindagi aur maut se lad raha hai, uski wajah se main Mannu ko marne nahin de sakti... aur iss wajah se mujhse har koi chaahe muh kyun na mod le...main peeche nahin hatungi..chahe meri Mannu hi mujhse baat karna kyun na chod de...kamse kam mujhe iss baat ki tasalli toh hogi ki woh thik hai..surakshit hai...Mujhe zara sa chakkar aaye toh woh kaise bechain ho jaati hai..Woh itne bade mushkil daur se guzar rahi hai aur meri bechaini kisi ko nahin dikh rahi??? Mera kya haal hota hai yeh kisi ko nahin pata? Mera har pal kaise beet ta hai yeh sirf main jaanti hun...
Meri chuppi ka galat matlab nikaal liya jaata hai... Main react nahin karti kabhi kabhi iska matlab yeh nahin ki mujhe samajh nahin hai ya main galat hun... ya main himmat haar chuki hun.. Main bhi insaan hun...mujhe bhi ghabrahat hoti hai..mujhe bhi dar lagta hai ..Apne aap ko koi meri jagah pe koi rakhe toh samjhe na ki mere dil pe kya beet ti hai..kaise main pal pal tadapti hun...aise dorahe pe hun jahan mere dono haathon mein se kisi ek haath ko kaatne ko kaha gaya hai... Lekin koi meri baat kyun samjhega..meri takleef kyun samjhega..main roti rahun..bilakhti rahun.. mera dil bekrar rahe..Raaton ko neend bhi naa aaye...aaj kal duniya mein kisi ko apno ki parwaah nahin hai koi meri parwah kyun karega... Kyunki sabke liye main shayad shuru se galat thi aur galat hi rahungi..aur jab main galat hun toh main apni Mannu ko bachane ke liye yeh abortion wali galti bhi karke hi rahungi... Because for me - One day begins and another day ends. The sun rises and the moon sets, and the moon rises and the sun sets. Kabhi roshni andhere ko haraa deti hai toh kabhi andhera roshni pe chaa jata hai.. Ek hasta hai toh doosra rota hai...someone is happy only because someone else is sad. Life goe'doesn't go on. At some point, at some specific point during your life, everyone is faced with two choices. Kahin Khushi toh Kahin gham.. The other path is always the tricky one. It's winds you up in a turbulence of joy and sorrow, and the maze it puts forward for you is the one you have to figure it. It gives you happiness only to snatch it, it gives you sorrow only to wipe your tears, and at the end of the road, it makes you smile so brightly...
Ps: Bura na maano baat ka... Yeh pyar hai gilaa nahin..😊
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