Perfect Mistakes... Chapter 19 Update - Page 11

What a wonderful update!!!

Virat's surprise was cool... the scene in hi building of rooms was awesome!!

Who was Jeevika talking about?? Who told her that he loves her?? I just hope its Viren!!!

Barney and his family are great... what was the last scene about??? WHAT DECISION??

Please update sooon...

Right, so why does Maanvi despise the Male population?? Well I guess you're about to find out. Before you read you should know this chapter contains some violence, so yeah.

He ran in to the room, not caring about Barney's voice warning him about the vase, not caring about the short but painful spasm which travelled through his nerve system causing his whole body to shake, or when he saw his dark, red blood ooze down his arm. Nothing mattered to him except her voice, her voice which cried out for him. "Get away from me!! Please don't hurt me, please let me go!!"

 He witnessed her in a state which made him wish he was in a nightmare, made him want to turn around and abolish the image of her looking so broken down. She was hyperventilating, pushing Sara away from her, screaming to be released. Her eyes darted to him and he felt her helplessness cut through inside him, "Partner! Stop them, they want to hurt me, tell them I'm sorry!! Tell him I won't do it again, partner save me, please save me!!" He immediately rushed to her side, trying to calm her, stop her from shaking, he tried to console her but she wouldn't stop screaming. Her hands clutched on to his shirt and she was rocking back and forth and that was when he noticed it. That was when he noticed the horror in her eyes; her lips were trembling as she inched closer to him, as if she was hiding from something dangerous. Without thinking twice his arms protectively covered her, he didn't know what he was protecting her from, but he knew whatever it was, it completely terrified her. 

"Get it away from me," he heard her repeat in to his chest, and he glanced at his alarmed aunt." She was fine until I got the injection out. Viraat she needs to have this shot or it could risk another attack." He looked from his aunt to his partner then at the needle, "Leave it for now, she's not in a good state. I'll try to get her to calm down and then I'll call you inside." No matter how much pain he was experiencing seeing her so vulnerable, he had to stay strong. He watched the experienced nurse nod and leave the room. In 25 years of her working life he strongly doubted she'd ever had to deal with something like this.

He waited till the door was fully shut before trying to comfort his partner. "Hey, hey, she's gone now it's okay, she's gone," he hushed her in a low tone, stroking her hair. He felt her hands slowly release his shirt, lifting up her head. There were no tears in her eyes nor where there any streaks on her cheeks. She wasn't crying, she was in shock. Something deep and dark had unnerved her, which in turn begun to scare him. 

He watched her frightened eyes scan the room, she stopped shaking now but he could still make out the tiny movements of her vibrating fingers. "Please don't hurt me," she whispered and he felt as if a thousand pound sumo wrestler held him between his two fingers and slowly crushed him until he choked to death. "Look at me," he reached for her wavering hands and gently turned her face towards him. He waited for her hazel eyes to match his and then in a soft whisper he asked, 'Do you trust me?" 

The time it took for her to answer probably didn't seem long to normal people, but for Viraat each moment seemed to linger on longer than forever. "I trust you." He let out a sigh he didn't know he'd been holding and rubbed her palms with his. "Then how could you possibly think I'd ever do anything to hurt you."

                                                                ~~~

She saw the needle and it all came rushing back to at once. The voices, the screams, the cries, her mother's cries, everything came back to her and in simple words: she momentarily lost it. 

He did it again, he managed to bring her out of her vortex and back to sanity. She knew she hurt him when she said she couldn't trust him, but she did, she trusted him so much, more than she could explain. But this time the vortex was inside of her, a black hole she was just on the premises of being plunged in to that once she falls, even he wouldn't be able to save her. "Shall I call Di?" he stopped rubbing her palms now and was staring at the scattered bed pillows. "No!" she replied straight away, "don't call, I'm okay partner." He didn't respond, and she wished so badly for the silence to be broken. She was used to long silences with him; she was never uncomfortable in them. They didn't need words to communicate; they were enough to understand each other. But today she needed him to speak, say he accepts she's fine, and say he believes her, but that wouldn't happen. "You're not okay partner," not when he knew her too well. "I need to go." she announced. He told her she was being mad. "Don't worry I'm not running away. I just need some fresh air." He was about to protest, but she spoke before he could, "Please."

He watched her silently as she grabbed her jacket and slowly walked out the room. After counting sixty seconds, Viraat got up and followed. She never said anything about going alone. 

He was almost out the door when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Viraat, where are you going?" Barney questioned him. "I don't know I'll have to follow her first before I can answer that?" he replied impatiently. "Her??" and as if on cue, Aunt Sara walked in claiming his partner was missing from her room. "Viraat, how could you let her leave? And what's this I'm hearing about her not taking the shot??" "It's complicated, I'll tell you after I come back, but right now I really have to go." He turned around, "Wait!'. Barney pushed something in to Viraat's hand, "It's for both of you, okay." He gave him a quick hug before he dashed out.

                                                                ~~~

Maanvi sat down on a random bench in Central Park, about five minutes away from Barney's block. She hugged her knees to her chest and buried her head deep inside the small space between her knees, letting out a big sigh. Her head throbbed, as if millions of tiny builders were constantly hammering on her head all at the same time. 

She sat like that for the next five minutes, letting the soft summer breeze wrap itself around her. "I'm not planning on getting up anytime soon so you as well make yourself comfortable," she said, still keeping her head down. She felt him slide beside her and she instantly felt warmer. "How did you know?" She wanted to say 'I can feel your presence with my eyes closed because every time you're near, my heart starts to work overtime,' but instead she said, "I took a guess." "Partner, what happened back there.." her head shot up, "I..it''s...I... " He shook his head, "No I'm not asking for an explanation. I just wanted you to know that I've already forgotten about it and also sometimes it's okay not to feel okay. You don't have to worry about anything, I'm right here. Okay." 

She didn't need to look at him to know he was saying the truth. His voice carried enough honesty that even if he told her the most bizarre thing right now, she'd believe him. She didn't need to look at him, but her face turned towards him anyway. "No."

"No?" he echoed her. She seemed determined; no longer did her eyes show the earlier fear that had inhibited in them. "No, it's not okay." He took hold of her hand, ready to take her back thinking she was still weak. "Would you still be here if I told you I was a mistake? Would you still look at me the same, care for me the same?" she questioned, stopping him from getting up. "You need rest partner," "No, wait I have to tell you. Promise you'll listen, please." He nodded; she didn't need to ask him to promise, he would happily agree to anything she asked from him. "I promise." He felt her hand grip his hand tighter, "I won't let go of your hand either, no matter what."

                                                                ~~~

"I came back home from school one day and as usual I was looking for my mom. I checked the whole house and when I couldn't find her I entered the only place I hadn't checked. Her room. I opened the door and found my mom on her bed. She looked like she was sleeping, with her back on the pillows and her hands by her sides, almost peaceful. I shouted at her, trying to wake her up, but she wouldn't respond so I tried shaking her. When I touched her face it was cold and she didn't seem peaceful anymore instead she looked lifeless. I screamed, shouted, I even splashed water on her face, but she wouldn't wake up. I convinced myself she was only asleep, playing a game. It wasn't until I called 911 and they asked me what the emergency is, I realised the truth, I had to tell them my Mom's dead, she was dead." 

She paused as she remembered her mother's face before the people in the green uniform carried her out. The corners of her lips were tilted up a bit, and it seemed as if she was smiling, A smile which meant her mom was finally free. "You don't have to tell me this, it won't make a difference in how I see you." His one sentence gave her the strength she urgently needed to carry on. "I know, but I need you to know, I need you to see me for who I am. I'm that mistake that cost my mother's life." She waited for him to let go of her hand, say he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. But he didn't, he sat next to her holding her hand in his, and she knew he was staying.

"Every night my mom would tuck me in to bed and read me stories. Stories of the little princess and her perfect parents. I used to be under the delusion that my mom and him were happy too, perfect for each other, like in the stories. I believed in it for a long time, I probably would've believed it for longer if I didn't wake up that night. I was coming out of the toilet and I heard his voice, it was quietly terrifying. He was pointing at my mom, forcing something in to her skin. I couldn't make out what it was, so I moved a little closer, and I heard what he was saying. I was six years old, only six years old, just a child. No six year old should have to ever hear the words I heard that night. 

He was sneering at my mother, laughing at her. 'My dear wife, remember our deal? In exchange for your little mistake you have to suffer the consequences. Now roll up your sleeve like a good girl, I can't promise it won't hurt but I promise I'll enjoy every second of it.' When I stood near the door that night, I wished desperately I had the iQ of a six year old, but I didn't, I understood every word. 

'You're disgusting!' my mother spat him. It didn't even take a Nano second for him to grab her hair and push her to the floor. 'What did you call me!!' My mother screamed in pain, and I wanted to run and save her, but my feet stayed glued to the floor. He started laughing again, 'Tut, tut, tut. If you would rather have your precious little daughter, or should I say your repulsive, illegitimate mistake to suffer instead, then I'll be willing to comply.' ?It took me some time before I realised he was talking about me. I was not the daughter of the person I thought was my father. It took me even longer to realise that I was the mistake. I was the sole reason he was torturing my mother. 

Beads of sweat formed on my forehead and my knees started to shake. 'If you DARE lay even a finger on Maanvi' He yanked her hair harder, and I saw the pain scar my mother's face. 'What will you do? Huh?! Nothing, you're capable of doing nothing. You think you can deceive me, run away with another rat and I won't even know. Now look at where that has gotten us. He's dead and your suffering!' he screamed at her. She started crying, I wanted to wipe her tears away, tell her I'm sorry, tell him to hurt me instead, tell him to punish me."

She grabbed hold of her shaking knee, she had to be strong, she had finish, he had to know for she really is.

"He returned to his normal tone and crouched down next to her, 'I love you ok, I love you. But you didn't love me. Every day I see that mistake of yours I get angry, my blood boils.' He grabbed hold of her face, 'But it can all be better now right? RIGHT!?' I watched my mother silently nod and he smiled. 'See everything is much easier if you listen. Okay quickly roll up your sleeve; oh this is going to be so much fun.' My mother was frozen so he rolled up her sleeves for her and that's when she saw me. Her eyes desperately warned me to go away but my eyes were fixed on the needle he was pushing in to her skin. The needle that turned her in to somebody else, not my mom. 

I don't how I ended up in my bed or when I fell asleep, but I woke up the next morning to find my mom sitting next to me. 'Hey pumpkin,' her eyes looked swollen and her lips were chapped as if her skin was peeling off. I asked her what he injected in to her arms, she said it was only medicine. I pretended to believe her for the next two years but I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that I was the reason for her suffering."

                                                                ~~~

"Did he hurt you?" She stared in to his wet eyes and shook her head. "My mum would put me to bed before he came home in the night and would drop me off at school in the morning while he slept. She never gave him the opportunity to hurt me. But unfortunately I couldn't do the same for her. 

When they wheeled her out of the flat, I heard one of the paramedics speak. They were recording her death, writing stuff down on paper. As I heard my mother's name, date of birth, and all the information they wrote down, I noticed they did something wrong. They put reason for death as Heroin Overdose when they should've written reason for death, Maanvi."

"Don't say that." She turned away from him and stared at a tree. "Why shouldn't I? It's because of me he hurt her, if I wasn't here then maybe she'd be alive, breathing. But I ran away, I didn't even have the guts to punish my mother's murderer. I'm a coward, HE was right I'm a stupid, repulsive, illegitimate piece of ugly shit." 

He started to feel angry. Angry at a person he'd never met or seen but he wanted to kill him. How dare he hurt her! How dare he make her feel like this! How dare he scare her!

She felt his hand slip away from hers, this was it, he was leaving, he hated her, he blamed her as well. She closed her eyes not prepared to watch him walk away.

"I am so sorry." She opened her eyes; he was on his knees in front of her. "I'm so, so sorry, I didn't know me being a guy would bring you so much pain. Remind you of him. Trust me the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you but I managed to do it anyway." "I thought you left. Why are you still here?" "I promised I would never leave you." "But why would you stay. I'm a mistake, an imperfect mistake." "A promise is a promise." She shook her head, "Promises are overrated." He laughed a little, it sounded like a symphony, "So is perfection." She wanted to believe it so bad, but she couldn't. "I'm a mistake," she repeated. 

"Do you really think that you're the only one? We're all mistakes, nobody's perfect partner. If it wasn't for mistakes, then none of us would be here and none of us would die. If it wasn't for mistakes we wouldn't have necessary things like post it notes and cornflakes. Crap examples, but I'm not good at speeches." She smiled, even in the worst of situations how did he make her smile? Why did he make her feel better about herself? "It's okay, I like cornflakes." He smiled, and then became serious again. "My point is there is no difference in planned, legitimate and mistakes because in all truth the entire human race is all just one big damned mistake. From the point when X meets X or X meets Y, nobody plans it, it just happens. The same way I happened you happened and if your ever say you shouldn't be here then listen to this, I'm glad you're a mistake because if that means I got to spend the best days of my life with you, then partner, I'm not ashamed to say that you're the best mistake ever made." "Partner.. " He held his hand up, "I'm not done yet." "More to say??" He nodded, "What did you say about yourself? Repulsive, stupid, oh and let's not forget ugly. You know what, you didn't just insult yourself but you insulted me, because if someone asked me what my definition of beauty is; I would answer imperfection, do you know why?" She shook her head, "because I met you." 

He found her beautiful? Correction he found her BEAUTIFUL! She wanted to say something back, ask him what he meant when he said he found her beautiful. She suddenly remembered he was probably saying it to  make  her feel better, she was about say he was wrong but before she could he started talking again. "You deserve to be happy, deserve to be smiling, and don't punish yourself, honestly it's not worth the pain. Forget's what's wrong and what's right and do what YOU want. The world, my friend, is a mistake making machine, and we are just the lucky experiment rats privileged to be part of such a wonder. So carry on mistaking, it's our job." He paused, "I'm done now." 

She nodded, but in reality she was lost in his voice, in his eyes, in the way his hair kept sweeping on to his forehead, the way his eyebrows crinkled together when he was thinking. She was so lost in his everything that she didn't realise when he finished speaking and turned around to get something. "Oh and before I forget, take these they're from Barney." She watched as he passed her a water bottle and some tablets. "I won't let you take the shot but that doesn't mean I'll risk you having another attack." She swallowed the tablets and her insides fluttered, not because of the medicine, but because he never failed to care for her.

                                                                ~~~

She didn't know how it happened or when it happened but it happened. Her hands wrapped around him, her body against his and she knew right then that he would protect her, accept her, perfect or not.

He was never good at speeches nor did he want be good at them. But today, for her, he tried his best to string a couple of words together, just to see her smile. 

He nearly lost his balance when she hugged him, but he still held on to her tightly, steadying her, he wouldn't let her fall. It's like everything happened on its own, her hands wrapped around him and his around the small of her back, his face buried in to her soft hair, her face rested on his chest and both kept their eyes closed. Everything seemed to slow down then, the falling of the leaves, the traffic on the road, his breathing, his pulse all slowed down. If he listened closely he swore he could hear soft piano notes in the background, the music of his heart. He didn't want this moment to end, he wanted it to last his entire life time and after. Burying his head in deeper, he hugged her closer, making them warmer, not wanting time to slip out of his hands, not wanting to let her go.

They both pulled out of the hug at the same time and he cleared his throat. "A hug for me?" he said it to ease the atmosphere but only he knew how hard his heartbeats were beating right now. He wondered if she could hear it, if she could feel his body tense whenever she touched him or how his breathing stopped every time she smiled. He called out to her again, it was good in a way if she didn't notice those things, it wouldn't be fair. She didn't respond and he was afraid she regretted hugging him. He didn't mind if she didn't feel the same way he did but he wasn't prepared to lose her friendship, not yet. "Partner!" he shook her and she stared at her hands before looking at him, "You're bleeding." 

                                                                ~~

When she hugged him she felt as if life had been reinserted in to her empty body. No longer did she feel the need to punish herself, no longer did she have the hatred towards guys, no longer did she feel dead, no longer did she feel incomplete. She felt beautifully imperfect. She knew the answer to her sister's question, she knew the definition of the unknown in her equation, she had finally accepted it. Maanvi didn't want to pull out of the hug, she wanted to lose herself in his embrace, breathe in his cologne, keep listening to his heartbeat, but something bothered her, something sticky and red. When she pulled away from him and looked at her hands she saw blood, his blood. When she confronted him, he unsuccessfully tried to hide his arm, but she caught it in time. 

"Bandages," she ordered him sternly. Why was it that every time he did something right he goes and does something stupid like this? He passed her the wrapped wool and she begun to unwind it. "How did you know I had.." She interrupted him, "You may not care for yourself but others do. You think I don't know that Barney would give you bandages along with my tablets. I bet he tried to get you to put it on but being the Chep you are you ignored him." She wiped his arm, careful not to hurt him and dressed his wound. He tried speaking to her but she gave him the silent treatment, it's what he deserved. When she finished she stood up about to leave but he held her back. "Angry Sherni?" She turned around and crossed her arms and sent him a what do you think look. "I'm sorry," he said in a childlike tone, she tried to be strong but the kneeling didn't help, and she melted. "Fine, fine but next time.." He stood up, "I'll make sure I call 911, order an ambulance, make them clear all their appointments and have them attend my bleeding arm." It took everything out of her to stop her from laughing, "Just don't kill anyone in the process."

                                                                ~~~

Her eyes were shutting and she was feeling drowsy. She couldn't sleep now, she had something important to say. "Partner, I have to tell you something." He helped her in to the car seat, securing her belt, "Later, the pills are making you sleepy. Close your eyes, I'll drop you off okay." She nodded and closed her eyes, she'll wait till she was awake to tell him. He was about to leave but she grabbed his hand, "Did you mean it, will you stay with me forever?" she asked in a drowsy voice. He slowly removed her hands from his and brushed her hair from her eyes, She fell asleep before she could hear his answer.

Jeevika looked at the meds in her hands and called Maanvi again for 10th million time. "The person you're calling is currently unavailable.." she cursed and hang up. She tried calling Viraat, but she got the same result. She was pacing up and down the room, bad thoughts corrupted her mind. It wasn't until she saw Viraat standing at the door that she sighed in relief, only to be shocked again seeing her unconscious sister in his arms. "What happened?" she asked frantically. He walked in to the bedroom and gently lay her sister on the bed. "She's okay, she's sleeping."

Jeevika observed as Viraat took Maanvi's shoes off and tucked her in to bed. She watched as he caressed her sister's head lovingly and lay a soft kiss on her forehead. He loved her, she knew it, she knew it. She tiptoed out of the room, giving them some privacy, she failed to hear him softly whisper an apology. 

"Hey," she greeted happily over the phone. "Somebody's excited" the other person replied. "That's true." "Well may I know why?" "If I tell you you won't believe it." "Try me." "Mannu's in love" The line cut dead, "hello, hello." She stared at her phone, "I said you wouldn't believe it." 

Her phone rang moments later, "Composed yourself?" "How? When? Maanvi!?!?" Jeevika laughed, "I know!! Mannvi. I can't wait to meet to meet you, I have to tell you so much about him, he kind of reminds of you." "Oh really? Well I guess you won't have to wait any longer." "Meaning?" "You have to come back tomorrow, Pop's orders." "But Mannu?" "I know, I know, but you know I can't refuse, I'm sorry." "It's okay, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." "I'm sorry Jeevika." "It's fine, I don't hate you." "Good because I love you." 

She hanged after saying she loved him back. How was she going to break the news, she had no idea. Viraat came out of the bedroom looking distressed, "Coffee?" He nodded, she needed one too. 

They sat on the armchairs with mugs of steaming coffee in their hands. "Are you okay Di?" She look at him, really looked at him. It was striking how many of his features matched his. "It's just you really remind of someone." He took a sip of his coffee and she noticed he held his mug the same way as him; two fingers in the handle, and two outside. The thumb rested just near the rim of the mug. "That's nice," he sounded tired, sad. "What about you?" she asked him. "I'm just confused." She nodded silently, though a lawyer; she accepted some things without questioning. Sometimes it was good to give people space. It was necessary. "Di can you do me a favour?" "Sure Viraat." He handed her a piece of paper, "Can you please give this to Maanvi, and tell her I'm sorry."

Jeevika looked at the folded paper in her hands, what was in it that he couldn't tell Maanvi face to face? "Viraat.." "Please." She accepted and he thanked her and left. 

When I wrote this ages back, I didn't really have a song in my mind. But then I read over it and suddenly the lyrics from Beyonce Halo just seemed to describe Viraat the way Maanvi saw him and now begins too feels for him. He's her saving grace. Her angel. Take a listen if you can:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyR7yoDBQSg  

Thanks for reading Ava :)