Part 7
Nothing steamy about this post but very sensitve and important in AsYa relation so please be considerate
"Main bhi humesha aapki taraf hi rahoonga. Chahe duniya idhar ki udhar ho jaye aapke Khan Sahib Aapka saath nahi chodenge." He assured her. She still had nightmares of her past. No matter what had happened between Asad and Zoya before or after their marriage Asad was always worried when she woke up screaming in the middle of the night. Sometimes after marriage when things were not so smooth between them as now he used to pat her on the head the moment he saw her troubled by the nightmare. Only he knew the details of them. She was mumbling in her sleep one night. He heard every gruesome detail of the dream. Asad has an FB.
Zoya's painful past
One night when Zoya was fast asleep and Asad was working as usual (Thing were not OK between them then). Zoya started talking in her sleep. At first it just seemed like mindless rambling. Asad went to pat her on her head so she could sleep peacefully. She was calm as Asad was about to leave Zoya said," Ammi Ammi" First time he heard " Ammi" from her mouth. It was for her ammi not his. He leaned in to hear what she was saying. "Aag ammi bachao. Ammi aag Bachao. Bachao aag ammi. Bachao ammi aag." Asad could not make out from her rambling. He knew that there was something in her past that was very tragic. He wanted to ask Zoya but as things were between them he did not want her to feel that he was prying. He did not want to interfere in her life. He left it at that. But it was always in the back of his mind.
Asad remembered an incident. One day they were celebrating Najma's Birth day. It was a month after Zoya moved in with them. Najma wanted to go out for dinner but Asad being Asad no going out after dark. Najma was sad. "Mera tamatar. Sorry main apne rules ko nahi badal pa raha hoon. Tum aur Miss Farookhi itni der se ghar se bahar nahi ja sakti." He planned a surprise birthday party for her. Dilshaad and Zoya invited all her decent friends for dinner at their house. Najma wanted to go out so Asad decided to have a barbeque party in the lawn of his house. Everyone is enjoying the party. Asad was happy to see Najma happy with her friends. Zoya helped a lot to plan this party. She had taken care of the fact that there was nothing there which would upset Asad.
Asad was handling the barbeque as he was the only man there. From time to time he looked up to see Najma smile and laugh. He saw that Zoya had mingled with all her friends. She looked stunning in a salwaar kameez that Dilshaad gifted her. He still did not like her but today she had followed all his rules to the T. Asad was busy with the task at hand. Suddenly by mistake he added too much fuel to the barbeque. Huge flames came out of the grill. Asad saved himself by backing off. He was trying to get the flame to reduce but all in vain. He heard a loud scream. It was Zoya at first he thought it was one of her tamasha. Then he saw her literally shaking in the spot she stood. She was screaming at the top of her lungs pointing at the source of the fire.
Dilshaad and Najma were trying to control her but she was getting too aggressive for them. Asad came to her and shook her hard. "Bas Miss Farrokhi sab theek hai." She turned to him and started checking if he was burned. She almost fainted in his arms. He had no choice but to lift her and take her to her room while Najma and Dilshaad bid farewell to the guests. He puts her on the bed and by mistake his cuff button gets stuck on her right sleeve. In his sttempt to free himself he tugs the button and her sleeve goes up. He does not want to look but to make it proper he has to. He saw her forearm severely burned. As she rambled in her semi conscious state tears rolled down her cheeks. "Aag lagi Ammi Bachao.." She slowly went into deep sleep. Tears rolled down Asad's cheeks too. He wiped them off as Dilshaad and Najma came. They stayed with her for the night and he left.
Asad kept on thinking about asking her but her antics always ticked him off. He never bothered to ask her anything before marriage and even after being married as things were not well between them he never pryed.
Asad comes back to the present when Zoya nudges him. He was not listening to her. She was planning the lunch. Asad simply said,"Hum aaj nahi ja sakte. Hum kal jaayenge. Aaj aap sab plan karke rakhna main Ayaan ko itallah kar doonga." He gets up and is about to leave. Zoya gives him his bag and goes till the door to see him off. "Shaam ko tayyar rahiyega. Office se aane ke baad humein kahi jaana hai. Akele. Bahut zarrori baat karni hai." Zoya did not blush because he said it in a serious tone so there was nothing romantic about their outing. " Jee theek hai"
Part 8 updated soon
Part 8
On his way to the office Asad was thinking of ways to bring up her past. He did not want to seem rude. It was a very delicate issue. He remembered after nikaah Aapi and Jiju asking him," Asad miya ab Zoya aapki zimmedari hai. Aap uske humsafar, humkadam aur humraaz hain. Zoya ka khayal rakhiyega yeh kehne ki zarrorat nahi hai par aapse darkhwaast hai ki aap uski nadaaniyon ko nazarandaaz kare. Humne use apni bacchi ki tarah paala hai. Hum hi uske ammi aur abbu hain. Is liye aap se ilteja katre hain ki use khush rakhiyega aur uski khushi tabhi mumkin hai jab wo apne guzre kal ko talaash karna band kar de. Aap har mumkin koshish kijiye ga ki use kabhi apne guzre kal ki talaash karna bewajah lagne lage. Aaj ki khushiyon mein wo beete kal ko bhool jaye." They had tears in their eyes.
Asad could not comprehend the underlying meaning of them asking him to make her forget her past. She did have a troubled past but was it so tragic that it could affect the happiness of her present and future. He nodded a yes to console her Aapi and Jiju. He did not want to disrespect them but He and Zoya had both decided upon the boundaries of their relation. Asad never tried to get to know her past but did take care of her when she had nightmares. He was worried sick for her but did not let it show initially as he was not affected by her and later on all that would affect him was her.
He was moving on with her and did not want the past to pull her back or hurt her. It had to come out as it still troubled her. He now did not want anything to hurt her be it him or her past. He wanted to take her to her favorite restaurant and talk about it. He quickly brushed that idea aside as it was not the place to talk about such a sensitive topic. He knew the perfect place where it could be done peacefully. He reached the office and got busy with work. At home Zoya wondered what it was that was so serious that Asad could not talk with her at home. She too wanted to tell him something which was very near to her heart. She wanted to reveal the bits and pieces of her past to him. Like Dilshaad once told her it would be easier for her to find and face her past with her humsafar.
Asad came home in the evening. He quickly freshened up and wore kurta and jeans. He asked Zoya to dress. She wore a lovely 'Anaarkali' dress. "Kyun meri mushkilen badha rahi hain aap Zoya B? Please kuch aur kuch sada pehen lijiye hum date par nahi par ruhani sukoon ki talaash mein ja rahe hain." Zoya changed into a simple pink colored dress. They bid ammi and Najma and left. Asad had already informed Dilshaad about his decision to ask Zoya about her past. She asked him to be careful and not rush things.
Asad and Zoya leave and soon they reach the mazaar. Zoya is shocked to see that Asad brought her to the same mazaar which she had visited the day they met for the first time. She was happy that Allah had chosen Asad for her. They entered and offered their prayer. They sat together maintaining fair amount of distance between them. They could speak in such a way that no one would hear them. Asad was pondering on the thought of how to begin such a crucial topic out of the blue. He did not wish to upset her as she was very happy from the time they expressed their love.
Zoya softly said," Asad aap jaante hain na ki mein apne pehle nikaah se "Qubool Nahi Hai" kehkar bhaag gayi thi." Asad gave her a stare but this time there was a soft smile on his face. He remembered the first time he found out that she was the one who ran out on her nikaah with Akram. He had blasted her with all the ammunition he could gather in himself. He only shouted at her and blamed her for her gunaah. She had insulted not only Akram's family but also hers. She had insulted Aapi and Jiju who brought her up like she was their child. He once did not blame her upbringing because he thought that parents give the child the best upbringing if the child does not follow it is the child to be blamed and not parents.
"Shukriya" , he whispered. "Main nahi jaanti thi ki kahn jaaoon isliye yahan aa gayi thi. Aapne mujhe usi din pehli baar dekha tha jab main aapki gaadi ke saamne aayi thi." "Nahi Maine aapko yahin isi jagah pehli baar dekha tha. Aapke aasson meri aakhon ko nam kar gaye the. Main wahan aamne baitha tha aur aap wahan." He pointed at the place she sat on that day. "Iska matlab Allah ne humein milne se pehle hi mila diya tha. We are made for each other. He made us for each other." Zoya blushed. Asad saw that now was the right time t start. Before he could say anything Zoya turned to him. She had tears in her eyes. "Kya hua? Aap apne besh keemati mtoi kyun waste kar rahi hain?" Asad was worried as she was crying and the sensitive topic was yet to be raised.
"Kyun Khan Sahib kyun aapne mujhe kabhi nahi bataya? Aaj jab aapne kaha ki aapne mujhe yahan dekha tha tab mujhe Ayaan ki kahi baat yaad aayi. Jab main nayi nayi ghar aayi thi tab ek baar meri use takraar hui thi tab usne mujhe bataya tha ki meri wajah se uske bahi ko chot lagi thi. Tab main nahi jaanti thi ki wo aapki baat kar raha hai aur phir main bhool gayi. Wo nishaan aapke badan par wo churi ka ghaav meri wajah se hi hai na?" She cried as she had caused him pain. "Nahi aapki wajah se nahi un badmaashon ki wajah se. Tab aapki wajah se mujhe chot nahi lagi thi par is waqt lag rahi hai aapke asoon dekhkar." She quickly wiped off her tears and gave him a beaming Zoya smile.
Asad looked at her and said,"Zoya B ab humaare beech sab thek hai lekin phir bhi main aapse ijazat chahta hoon aapse kuch poochne ki. Agar aap munasib samjhe to kya aap mere saath apne zakham share karengi. Aapi aur Jiju ne mujhse kaha tha ki main aapko aapke guzre kal ki taraf kabhi rukh na karne doon. Par aapne ammi se baat ki thi ki aap apne guzare kal se peecha chudakar ki shaadi karna chahti thi." Zoya is shocked to hear Asad and when he began to apologize " Nahi Khan Sahib aap sorry mat kahiye main hairoon hoon ki aapne mujh jaisi jhalli ki baat sirf suni aur samjhi hi nahi par yaad bhi rakhi. Maafi to mujhe maangni chahiye har dam apni harkaton se aapko pareshaan karti thi." Asad looked inquisitively, "Thi? Kya matlab thi Aaj bhi karti hain." He smiled.
She said everything but did not give him permission to ask her about the past. Asad felt that she did not trust him enough. Ek din aayega Zoya B jab aap mujhe apne dil ka har raaz batane ke kabil samjhengi aur us din mujhse zyaada khushnaseeb aur koi nahi hoga." Asad thought to himself. "Chalen." "Khan Sahib aap mujhe yahan sukoon pane laye the na? Jab tak humare beech parda rahega mujhe sukoon nahi milega. Humare beech ab jismaani ya ruhaani parda nahi hai par mere ateet par ab bhi parda hai."
She looked at her right arm, "Ye mere ateet ka karam hai. Mujhe sab kuch theek se yaad nahi. Bees saal guzar chuke hain. Main NY se Bhopal apne ateet ke raaz ko janne aayi thi. Bahut koshishon ke baad Aapi, Jiju aur khala kisi ne mujhe kuch nahi bataya. Maine kasam di is liye mujhe India le aaye. Mere zindagi ka maqsad tha mere ateet ko janna isliye aapse nikaah bhi kiya taki India mein reh saoon." She looked down and a tear escaped the corner of her eyes. He pressed her hand to comfort her. She continued,"Mujhe dundhla sa yaad hai. Aaj lagi thi. Meri ammi mujhe bachate fanaa ho gayi aur mera haath jal gaya mujhe humesha ke liye us haadse ki nishaani ki tarah use yaad dilaane ke liye."
"Wo wo wo aag shayad me.. me.. mere ab.. ab.. abbu ne lagai thi. Khala ne bataya tha meri ammi bahut ameer ghar se thi. Unhe mere abbu se mohaabat ho gayi aur zammane se chup kar unse nikaah kar liya. Wo nahi jaanti thi ki wo pehle se shaadi shuda the aur ek beti ke baap the. Unko ammi se beta chahiye tha par ammi ko bhi main hui. Abbu humesha humein koste. Par ammi ki daulat ne unhe ammi se baadhkar rakha tha. Wo apna naya karobaar shuru kar rahe the. Construction ka karobaar. Mujhe yaad hai kyunki ghar par chote chote khilauno jaise makaan aur pul hua karte the. Main unhe khillona samjhkar choone jaati to mujhe data fatkaar milti. Jab main paanch saal hi hui tab mere Nanu ki wasihat khuli jisme likha tha ki ammi ke naam kuch nahi hai job hi hai unki aulaad ke yaani mere naam tha. Abbu ne ammi ko tallq dene ki baat kit hi aur mujhe apne saath le jaana chahte the par ammi ka inkaar shayad unki maut ki wajah ban gaya."
"Main bhi aag mein jhulas jaati agar ammi ne mujhe nahi bachaya hota. Mere abbu ko aas pass wale log jaante the lekin unka ata pata kuch nahi tha. Wo farrar ho gaye. Khala mujhe apne saath NY le gayi. Mujhe aapi mein ek badi behen aur khala mein ma mil gayi. Par abbu? Humesha unke rookhe bartaav ki wajah se main kabhi nahi jaan payi abbu kaise hote hain. Ek din Jiju meri zindagi main aaye aur pehli baar maine jaana abbu kaise hote hain."
"Sab ko lagta hai ki main yahan apne abbu ko dhoondhne aayi thi. Par nahi main yahan apni ammi ke gunhegaar ko dhoondhne aayi hoon. Unhe sazaa dekar apni ammi ko insaaf dilaane aayi thi. Mere jiju hi ab mere abbu hain." She said all of this in one breath. When she stopped her eyes were filled with tears. She saw a blurred image of her Khan Sahib who had tears in his eyes too.
"Main aapse bhi apne ateet ke bare mein baat karna chahti thi. Aaj mein bahut khush hoon apke, ammi aur Najma ke saath. Mujhe nahi jaanna apna ateet. Ateet ke peeche bhag kar main apne aaj aur aane wale kal ko sazaa nahi dena chahti." "Zoya B, aap sahi keh rahi hain par main chahta hoon ki aap apne guzre kal ka saamna kare. Ammi ko insaaf dilayen. Maine aaj subah hi aapse kaha tha ki main har haal mein aapka saath doonga. Isi wajah se hi kaha tha. Kuch baaten main jaanta tha par ab sab kuch jaan chukka hoon. Hum ladenge hum ek saath ladenge. Hum ammi ko insaaf dilayenge. Aapko insaaf dilayenge kyun ki aapke saath sabse bada gunaah ki hai us shaks ne aapko apni ammi se juda karke."
"Mujhe isse zyaada aur kuch nahi pata. Unka naam nahi pata. Hum kaise ye sab karenge?" "Aaj tak aap akeli thi par ab main hoon aapke saath." They got up and offered prayers again at the mazaar. There was silence in the car as they drove back home. Asad turned in the FM radio. Song from "Fanna" Played "Mere haath mein tera haath ho saari jaannaaten mere saath ho.." They smiled and Zoya placed her hand on Asad's. When they reached home Najma was already in bed. Dilshaad stayed up as she thought Zoya might need her. Asad went up to his room leaving Zoya with ammi. He needed her now for motherly love. He could love her later in. Zoya went up to her and put her head in ammi's lap. "Thank You ammi for giving birth to and bringing up such a wonderful man. Shikriya hum dono ke paagalpan ko bardaasht karne ke liye. Humaare liye humse ladne ke liye. Humaara kikhaah karane ke liye. '." "Bas bas meri super fast express. Saas hoon saas ke saamne itni zubaan nahi chalate." She smiled and said. Dilshaad and Zoya headed towards their restpective rooms.
Part 9 coming soon
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