Chapter
10
When Gopi left the doctor's surgery she took the underground to Westminster.
She wanted to think.
She needed time for her to reflect on the latest development. It felt as though
things were spinning around her much faster.
She needed to pause, re-evaluate and make decisions. There were lots at stake -
her mami, Rashiben, maji and of course, Ahemji.
She stepped out of the station into the cool air, zipped her coat, wrapped her
scarf around her neck to block out the breeze and walked towards the bridge.
Having found her favourite place she rested her hands on the wall and looked
down to the flowing river, blurring the rest of the world out.
She breathed in deeply many times slowly. How she wished life was
simpler. It always boasted a challenge for her.
Talking to maji to cancel the wedding was not possible now that her plans have
changed. Her mami will be angry with her. Insults and ill treatment will be the
order of the day at home. She will become a burden to both of them. Further,
she will jeopardise any chance of a prospective suitor for Rashiben.
She thought back to her time with her Ahemji. She will cherish those moments.
They are enough to last a lifetime. With our child I don't need anything else,
she affirmed to herself.
Ahemji loves somebody else and not her, she reminded herself. He should not be
saddled with her in a loveless marriage. It will cripple him mentally just to
keep up appearances, she continued in her mind. He may end up hating and
despising me as time goes by, reflected Gopi.
"No, I cannot allow this!" blurted out Gopi to herself.
Maji will understand eventually that this marriage was not meant to be when she
sees her son's love for his partner. As she had always wanted the best for her
son she will soon realise that Ahemji's choice is a better one, resolved Gopi
in her mind.
Instantly her mind snapped up with an idea to leave London today.
Where will she go to? What will she do? She knew she had her kanaji all the
time. He will be there for her like he had been for her from the time she heard
the dreaded news of her parent's death.
This is the state Gopi found herself in.
Gopi looked in her purse. She had carried all her cash money she had,
anticipating the worst. She reminded herself that she had about a
thousand pounds collected over the years when people gifted her as presents.
This will see her through till she finds a job, she convinced herself.
She will to travel by coach to the West Country, to a seaside village in
Cornwall. The climate will be good there during the term of her pregnancy and
to bring up our child there too.
Gopi stood there for some time conferring in her mind and ratifying to
herself...
Suddenly, out of the blue, she heard a familiar voice softly saying, "A penny
for your thoughts?"
Startled, she turned around and found her Ahemji leaning against the wall. His
hair looked ruffled in the breeze, his forehead looked troubled and lips were
set grimly.
"Hello Ahemji," forced out of Gopi's voice with a slight smile but looking
elsewhere.
"Aren't you coming shopping with my mother and I?" he asked gently sensing
aloofness from her.
"My mami wants me to go to the samaj today to do some work there Ahemji. I
cannot come today," lied Gopi, again not meeting his eye.
He looked at her whilst he heard her measured words and lack of eye contact
with him. This was not the Gopi he had come to know. Something was not right.
It had to be him in the centre of her misery, he realised.
"You are in need for some tea. Let's have some," urged Ahem.
"I'm afraid I can't Ahemji. I have to leave now," responded Gopi looking at him
directly in his eyes finally, then turned and stepped away, walking away from
him.
Ahem took hold of her hand tightly, stopping her in her tracks and whispered
low, "Let's get the tea, Gopi."
That tone in his voice left Gopi feeling trapped and she rescinded, "I don't
want to get late for my mami."
"You won't, trust me," he instructed in a slightly more audible voice this
time, emphasising the words 'trust me'.
His words were firm and brook no quarter giving her no choice but to go with
him.
They walked to his car. He settled her in on her side and walked over to his
side.
She thought that she will keep it short and walk away...
It didn't take long for her to realise where they were heading when he passed
the nearby cafes and more places for tea then the Wembley exit, heading
out past the M25.
Gopi turned several times to Ahem who kept his eyes on the road and not budging
to her silent pleas, until finally she gathered up her courage.
"Won't maji be getting worried about her shopping?" Gopi asked awkwardly whilst
adjusting herself on the seat.
"I told her that we will be there later," he responded in a matter of fact
manner.
"But my mami will be expecting me," Gopi continued.
"My mum will be calling her," concluded Ahem.
This left Gopi with no escape routes but to succumb to him, "I see."
With that Gopi sat back in her seat silently for the rest of the drive.
He stopped the car outside the entrance of the country estate and got out. He
opened her door and looked at her tilted head that was facing away from him
with tear stained cheeks. Gopi had fallen off to sleep. He unclipped her
seatbelt and lifted her out the car. With a bit of effort not to wake her up he
opened the front door and walked upstairs to his room and laid her on the bed.
He went downstairs to the kitchen to make two cups of tea. Some time later he
returned to the room with the tea and sat on the couch near the bed. He watched
her sleeping.
Gopi looked so peaceful and at one with herself. Her chest lowered and rose up
gently. Ahem sat there looking at her sleeping never taking his eye away from
her for some time.
Suddenly she turned around and took a deep breath. She began to stir from her
sleep and blinked her eyes.
She looked around her and saw him sitting close by.
"How did I come here Ahemji? she asked.
"You were asleep when we arrived here so I carried you up to my room. I brought
you some tea," Ahem said as he rose to give the cup.
Gopi sat up on the bed, took hold of the tea cup and sipped it. Even though it
did not taste as good but it relieved her numb head. Eventually she drank all
the tea. He took the tea cup away and placed it back with the saucer on the
side table and sat beside her on the bed.
Taking her hand into his, he began softly, "Gopi, there is something I want to
say to you. I want to say sorry to you."
"Ahemji, you don't owe me any apology," interrupted Gopi.
"Hear me out Gopi," he continued even quieter.
Gopi remained still. Ahem took a deep breath.
"When I first met you on the engagement night in my bathroom and I revealed to
you what I felt, I did not realise it was you as your back turned on me. When
my mum arranged the wedding I had shown no interest in any of it. She had made
her selection for me. She harped on all the different arrangements. She even attempted
showing me the picture. None of this mattered to me. The reason for this is
that I have a strong relationship with my mum and trust her implicitly. Hence I
knew her decisions will be the best ones with my interest at heart."
He stopped looked at her expecting her to interrupt him but she just looked at
him questioningly.
He continued, "Then I saw you at the top of the stairs. I immediately hated
myself for saying those things to you."
"It's ok Ahemji," comforted Gopi squeezing his hand in hers.
"That stormy day when you came here something happened to me. When I yelled out
at you and you glowered at me, your look trembled through me. I felt you saw
right through me. I could not hide any of my feelings or thoughts from you.
Then I saw you wearing my shirt and I wanted you, only to find that you too
wanted me as much."
He looked down at her hands in his momentarily. He gently caressed his thumbs
on her hands. She is still holding my hand, he thought.
"During my business travels I could not stop thinking about you and our
time together. Subsequently, after the engagement I wanted to explain
everything to you, but I had to have you again. I found that I could not get
enough of you and you still wanted more too. So when we spent time on the
conference day you mesmerised me by calling me Ahemji. That day I was hoping
you would believe in me that I do have strong feelings for you and should trust
me. But..."
He paused for a moment and felt her hands in his. She is still holding my hand,
he reminded himself.
"I felt there was some sort of closure from you. This is why I insisted on this
shopping today, just to be with you...I want to spend the rest of my life with
you Gopi. I want to be the father to our child too."
Gopi's eyes shot up wider at him as he spoke.
"Yes, Gopi I met your doctor this morning and she told me that you are pregnant
with our child. These three days of not spending them with you were killing me
inside. I find I cannot live without you. I love you with all my heart. "
Gopi listened and stared at him in stunned disbelief.
He loved her all along, she realised as the fog evaporated in her thoughts.
"You love me?"
Ahem regarded her with his dark brown eyes, lifted his hands to her cheeks and
replied, "I love you so much Gopi. You make me want to live and cherish
life to the fullest. "
"I love you too Ahemji," responded Gopi with tears brimming in her eyes
about to fall, "I too cannot be away from you. I do trust you and believe
in you. I have from that first time but I did not want to burden you with an
unwanted child."
"You are anything but burdensome Gopi. The baby is made out of our love for
each other. Please forgive me," begged Ahem gently wiping away her tears with
his thumbs as they rolled down her cheeks.
"Oh Ahemji there is nothing to forgive," clasping her hands onto his.
"Then I want to show and tell you how much I love you in all my remaining days.
You becoming Mrs Gopi Ahem Modi will give me great pleasure. Will you marry
Gopi?" asked Ahem bravely with the greatest of confidence in his voice and with
a smile on his lips.
"Yes I will Ahemji," replied Gopi emphatically.
"On one condition though," Ahem stated firmly.
"What Ahemji?" giving him a puzzled look.
"Provided Gopiji you keep calling me Ahemji. The sound of it tickles me
inside," teasingly Ahem said with a big smile making Gopi chuckle.
Suddenly Gopi remembered something, "Ahemji, what will maji say?"
"When I was driving to Westminster I told her everything and she was overjoyed.
She told me to tell you that you are one in a million and that I should not
lose you. She wants her Gopi vahu beside her too."
Gopi smiled at Ahem's words as he cupped both her cheeks. She beamed at him and
felt so filled with love of her Ahemji and his family.
He lowered his lips to her and she immediately parted her lips for a deep and
loving kiss embracing him with all her might.
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