The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
During one of her daily classes, a teacher, trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite."
"What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better" she said, "but it's still not very nice to use the word bathroom at the dinner table."
"And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
I would say, "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to go shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I look forward to introducing you to right after dinner."
The teacher was speechless.
