FF: Broken (Last Part: Chapter 25 - Unbroken) - Page 10 | Parichay Nayee Zindagi Kay Sapno Ka

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teekay

@teekay

Goldie

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

Part 13

She turned to leave when she heard Kunal call her name.

"Sidhi!"

Sidhi stopped. Her breath stopped.

Dhundhli dhundhli shaam huyi
Ab toh waapas aa jao
Ke iss samay toh parindey bhi laut aate hain
Tumhare baad hamara haal aisa hai
Ke jaise saaz ke sab taar toot jaate hain

(**really recommend listening to this while reading, to see what I am seeing right now http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_H7HOKvL9c)

Kunal walked up to Sidhi, and held her arm. She turned back to face Kunal, still not looking in the eye.

"Sidhi. Look at me." he started to say.

Sidhi looked up into Kunal's eyes.

Time stood still.

An intense emotion, bathed in two different tearstreams that tasted surprisingly similar, passed from one pair of eyes to another. The cocktail emotion - equal parts love, pain, guilt, anger, longing, passion and trust - then went on to engulf a certain much-pained much-battered heart, increasing its heartbeat, before retracing its way back to its twin heart. As the heartbeats rose in tandem, time opened its floodgates and several memories, some great, some not-so-great, came rushing back. Right from the day when they had been joined together as life partners by destiny. To the darkness of thousands of nights which they'd spent apart - hurting, longing, unhealing, broken.

Tum toh gaye par yaad na gayi
Zubaan se meri fariyaad na gayi
Guzari na aisi koi saans
Jis mein tumhara naam na ho

"Sidhi. Mujhe maaf kar do. I..."

Sidhi put a finger on Kunal's lips.

"Aap maafi kyon maang rahe hain. Aap ki to koi galti nahi hai. Main nahi jaanti kaise hua, lekin ye jaanke aaj bahut sukoon mila ki Richa ki sachai aap ke saamne aa gayi. Aur rahi baat maafi maangne ki, to maafi to mujhe maangni chahiye. Maine apko aur gharwalon ko bahut chot pahunchai. Maine hamari shadi todi. Maine aapki zindagi mein itna gam bhar diya. Jo chot mujhe lagi, woh mera faisla tha. Main jaanti thi main kya kar rahi hoon. Magar aap, aap ko to nahi pata tha ki aap ke sath ye kyon hua. Kyon achanak main badal gayi. Magar yakeen maaniye Kunal, agar mere paas koi aur option hoti to main aisa kabhi nahi karti. Meri buri kismat, jo mere sath sath chalke is ghar aur aapki zindagi mein aa gayi thi. Aapko bachane ka mere paas koi aur raasta nahi tha. Mujhe laga aap aage bad jayenge. Mujhe bhool kar apni zindagi mein wapas khushi le aayenge."

"Tumhare bina meri zindagi kahan hai Sidhi." Kunal blurted.

He stopped to see color return to Sidhi's face.

"Mera matlab hai, mujhe jeena tumne sikhaya tha. Tumhi ne mujhe mera beta diya, jiske sahare main jiya to, par maine uske pyar se tumhe door rakha. Meri wajah se Richa ne ye sab kiya. Meri wajah se tum itne saal akele rahi. Aur jab tum aai, to maine usi Richa ke naam ka sahara liya tumhe jhooth kehne ko ki maine us se shadi kar li. Mere dar mein...main soch bhi nahi sakti tumhe kaisa laga hoga mujhe Richa ke sath dekh kar."

-----

(In the house)

Seema hadn't been able to sleep. She got up, and thought of going to see Sidhi, maybe apologise to her if she could. But Sidhi wasn't there, and neither was Kunal. She saw CA soundly asleep next to Sidhi's bed, and just stopped to caress him and cover him properly with a blanket. Her hand something hard under Sidhi's pillow, and she took it out a diary, with a pen still stuck on the last page.

As Seema lightly flipped to see what it was, Sidhi's diary lay open in front of her. She recognized Sidhi's handwriting.

The following words were inscribed on the last page.

Woh jo jalte hain chilman, chiragon mein tumhare
Agan unko hamari aahon se mili hai
Ye jo barasti hai tumhare aangan mein barkha
Boondein use hamari aankhon se mili hai
Yoon to hum jal lete, behichak, ta-umr,
Aashiyan ko tumhare roshan rakhne - par afsos
Yeh jo ruk rahi hai, ab tak hamesha
Meri saans humein tumhari saanson mein mili hai

Reading Sidhi's pain in words made tears stream down Sidhi's cheeks. This couldn't come from someone who wanted to go back to another man. This was all the evidence Seema needed to be convinced that Sidhi still loved Kunal and only Kunal. This was all Seema needed to vow to herself she'd do everything she could to reunite these two crazy people and keep them together, whose happiness lay only with each other. She went back to her room to sleep, hoping this night bridges the distance between Kunal and Sidhi, and they can learn to love and understand each other again.

Precap:

"Aap mujhse pyaar nahi karte..." Sidhi said, stepping back.

"Sidhi"

"Aap mujhse pyaar nahi karte. Maine aapka pyaar kho diya" Sidhi was choking. Kunal looked at the horror in her eyes. There were cracks of blood in her eyes. She wasn't crying, no, she wasn't crying. She was bleeding tears.

Tumhare haath se mera haath yun chhuta
Ke jaise bheed mein kuch haath chhoot jaate hain

Edited by teekay - 11 years ago

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bharo

@bharo

Goldie

Posted: 11 years ago

Soo emotional updates dear 😊 👏

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parichay_fan

@parichay_fan

Newbie

Posted: 11 years ago

Wow...loved it 😊,,,Waiting for next 😉

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kunalchopra74

@kunalchopra74

Groupbie

Posted: 11 years ago

nxt prt update soon nicely written...

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keerthi93

@keerthi93

Senior Member

Posted: 11 years ago

One request...I love all ur written updates but i don't know Hindi so some parts I don't get. If u don't mind can u try to keep it in English. Jst a kindly request. Thank u.😊

Keep it going...luv to core...eagerly waitin for the next.

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karthika

@KarthiN90

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 11 years ago

thanks for the update yaar...🤗

but pls try to update in english.😭..coudnt get full update...

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teekay

@teekay

Goldie

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

Oh well, sorry guys. I kinda wrote in a flow. My imagination was all over the place and I started crying thinking about it at a point, so...

Here's a translation of the Sidhi-Kunal conversation, which is the bulk of Hindi in the last update.

Will be back with the next chapter soon.

--------------

"Sidhi. Please forgive me. I..."

Sidhi put a finger on Kunal's lips.

"Why are you asking me for forgiveness? You're not at fault at all. I don't know how it happened, but I feel a sense of contentment to know today that Richa's truth is finally in front of you. And as far as forgiveness is concerned, I should be the one asking you to forgive me. I gave a lot of pain to you as well as everyone in our family. I was the one who broke our marriage. I was the one who brought so much pain, so much suffering to your life Kunal. My suffering was a consequence of my own decision. I knew what I was doing, what it meant. But you..you had no idea why this was happening to you. You had no idea why your world turned upside down. Why I changed...

But trust me Kunal. if I had any other option, any other way - I wouldn't have done what I did, I swear I wouldnt have done what I did. My bad luck walked straight with me into this home and your life. My bad luck killed Anand first, and was about to take away this home's second son. I had no other way to save you. I thought you would move on. You'd forget me and bring happiness back into your life.."

"What's my life without you Sidhi" Kunal blurted.

He stopped to see color return to Sidhi's face.

"I mean, you only taught me to live. You gave me my son, who was my only hope and support to live all these years. But I kept you away from the love of your son. It is because of me that Richa did all this. It's because of me that you lived alone for so many years. And when you came back, I used the same Richa's name to keep you away. I lied that I married her. In my fear...

I can't even imagine how you'd have felt seeing me with Richa, the same woman who'd destroyed your life, even though it was a deception."

Edited by teekay - 11 years ago

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keerthi93

@keerthi93

Senior Member

Posted: 11 years ago

Thank u, Teekay for English translation.😊👏

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teekay

@teekay

Goldie

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

Part 14

(Terrace)

Kunal: "I mean, you only taught me to live. You gave me my son, who was my only hope and support to live all these years. But I kept you away from the love of your son. It is because of me that Richa did all this. It's because of me that you lived alone for so many years. And when you came back, I used the same Richa's name to keep you away. I lied that I married her. In my fear...

I can't even imagine how you'd have felt seeing me with Richa, the same woman who'd destroyed your life, even though it was a deception."

Sidhi: "Forget it. A lot has happened to us that wasn't in our control, that wasn't intentional. Life has taken a lot out of us already. Don't feel sorry. What's happened has happened."

Sidhi stated, moving forward to hug Kunal. Kunal didn't hug her back, though. He was not even looking at Sidhi anymore.

Kunal: "No. I should feel sorry. I must feel sorry for leaving you alone. I never came to you when you were in prison. I thought you wanted to kill our son. I must suffer for it. I don't even blame you any more for choosing to leave me and marrying Abhay."

Sidhi was startled.

Kunal continued, with a blank expression, though tears still escaped his eyes. "I love you, but I have only given you suffering all my life. Even that day at the Karjat station, I listened to you, I decided to forgive you and came back home and waited for you because I thought you still loved me and because of my second son, but I never really believed everything you said. I never did anything about it. It just didn't hit me how much you'd suffered for me, and how little I had done for you. No wonder you did not come back to me. I am a loser. I am an unworthy, useless, loser of a man. I love you more than anything and anyone, but you don't deserve my love, that is why you rejected it, and I think I understand now."

"You don't love me..."Sidhi screamed, stepping back.

"Sidhi!"

"You don't love me! I have lost your love forever!" Sidhi was choking.

Kunal looked at the horror in her eyes. There were cracks of blood in her eyes. She wasn't crying, no, she wasn't crying. She was bleeding tears.

"You don't love me at all Kunal Chopra. Because love is trust. Without trust, without faith, there is no love. Till today, till this moment, I believed you really loved me. I had a blind faith in your love even when fate played its games and separated me from you. I had blind faith in your love even when you said you married Richa and when you said you hated me. I wanted to die a thousand times in the last ten years, but I didn't, because I trusted you still loved me.

But now I know. You don't love me. You only love your misery, your sorrows, and your alcohol. Kunal Chopra is obsessed with loving his pain. You don't love me anymore because you don't trust me. You think I CHOSE to marry that monster Abhay. You think I gave up on you and the life that you gave me was not good enough for you. You think I spent years crying for you and the day you finally forgave me and agreed to bring me home, I went and married someone else because of my CHOICE! You think I lived in that house, constantly under fear for my child's life and my own, being tortured by that monster because of my CHOICE! Is that how much you know me? And you claim you love me. You don't love me and you don't trust me!"

Sidhi broke down. Kunal was overwhelmed, speechless. He just stood there, staring at a crumbling Sidhi, who continued.

"And you know what's worse. I did this. I did this to you and to us. I broke your trust, over and over again. And now you don't trust me any more. You don't trust anyone! I can blame my bad luck, I can blame destiny. I can blame Richa who made me choose between leaving you and watching you go to prison, while this family died without you. I can blame Abhay who put a knife on my son's throat and threatened to kill him if I didn't do exactly what he said. But ultimately, the blame is with me. It is me who has turned you in this person. It is me who is the root of all suffering in your life.

So you don't love me. Nobody loves me. And I do not deserve to live. But I cannot see you suffer like this Kunal. I swear I would have gone away long ago, but the mother in me got greedy. The mother in me was pulled to her children. Children in broken homes get scarred for life Kunal. I wanted to give my children at least a few months of normalcy. I never got to see their childhood. I never got to love and pamper my children. So I got greedy. I am sorry Kunal. I don't want your love. I don't want your understanding or your pity. I don't even want forgiveness. What I have done is probably not forgiveable. So forget me. Just be yourself again, the Kunal Chopra I loved, if you can. Just give me a few more months that I have with my children, if you can, but even that's not compulsory. Then, I can go away forever."

Sidhi was pleading, with folded hands. Kunal was speechless.

To Kunal, it seemed like Sidhi's soul had already left her body as she turned back to leave. Kunal fell down on the terrace under the impact of Sidhi's words. The moon, that had happily shined above them till only a few minutes back, hid back under the clouds.

Tumhare haath se mera haath yun chhuta
Ke jaise bheed mein kuch haath chhoot jaate hain

-----------

Sidhi ran out of home, as far as her feet would take her. Dawn had started to break, but it felt like the twilight of her life, with the end fast approaching.

Kunal was still on the terrace. Sidhi's words had shook him to the core. His beliefs, his feelings, his ego, his principles, his very identity stood under the scanner of Sidhi's questions. Did he trust the love of his life? Did he trust himself? Could he possibly trust another person without trusting himself first?

For years, everyone around him had drilled into him that he was a loser. Before Sidhi came into his life, his family, his peers, the world at large called him an unworthy loser. And he believed them. But Sidhi came from nowhere and believed in him. She gave him unconditional love and trust. She forced him to respect himself. But then she went away. And she didn't go away because she suddenly didn't believe in Kunal's worth. She went away because she loved him and wanted to protect him. But Kunal destroyed everything Sidhi has painstakingly built. Including his own self-image that Sidhi had painstakingly built. Was Sidhi right? Had he fallen in love with his own misery and pain more than anything else?

He loved his son, surely.

But Sidhi's betrayal had occupied his life and made him a quitter more than the love for his son could ever be the focus of his life and inspire him to be a better man. In his elder son, he had seen a reflection of his wife and lived for that. So that was who he was, chasing reflections.

Kunal didn't know any more what was right or wrong. He really, as Sidhi said, didn't trust anyone. So maybe, he should take yet another gamble with his life. He should break his vow and let Sidhi tell him what to do, and for one more time, believe in Sidhi and allow her to shape his life. He could be betrayed again. But there was a small chance Sidhi would set everything all right again.

An image floated in front of his eyes: Sidhi laughing with his two sons, playing happily. Another image, of Sidhi telling him on the hotel terrace at Bangalore how much she loved me.

Yeah, this was a gamble worth taking.

He should forget everything that had happened and take the chance. Afterall, how much worse could he feel compared to what he was feeling at this moment. And if it really was worse and took his life, so be it.

Without Sidhi, it wasn't much anyway.

-----------------

Almost an hour after Sidhi had left, Kunal came back to home. He decided to go to Sidhi and tell her that he believed her. But he couldn't find her anywhere in the house. As he was looking for her, calling her name, he ran into Seema.

Seema: What happened Kunal bhaiya?

Kunal: Have you seen Sidhi?

Seema: No I just woke up. What happened?

Kunal: I can't find her anywhere in the house.

Seema: Did you talk to her last night?

Kunal remembered his conversation with Sidhi.

"So you don't love me. Nobody loves me. And I do not deserve to live"

Fear gripped Kunal. What if...

Precap:

"What do you want from me Sidhi?" Kunal shrieked.

"All I want from you is a promise. A promise that you will look after my children, no matter what happens and save them from every danger. That you will be the father they deserve. That you will be the father they can emulate one day. That you will protect them and keep them AWAY from Richa, Abhay, Surekhaji, Thakral, and anyone else who threatens my children. Promise me Kunal, that you will do that till your last breath."

Edited by teekay - 11 years ago