LMLMs and Yummies - Nostalgia - Page 2

I was clear; I had no intentions of getting into a serious relationship.  I often joked around with Gaurav and Shadab that I wanted some experience before committing myself to one girl.  The truth was I was well aware of the restrictions at home.  I knew I would be lying somewhere in a graveyard, the day they learned about me doing what I am NOT expected to do - falling for a girl.

This time it was serious.  I was time and again being given hints by my family to maintain a distance from the new neighbours.  They were Kayasthas, a caste completely different from ours.  Why, I wondered to myself.

  Were my parents able to see something I hadn't been able to realise about myself?

I had only met the neighbour's daughter once on the terrace when I received my first warning.  It was her first day in Ganeshgunj.  I didn't even know her name then.  It is true that she looked beautiful at the first sight that I saw of her.  To say that I was mesmerized would be an understatement.  Her face was flawless.  Even though I avoided admitting it to myself, she was in my thoughts when I couldn't sleep for the next couple of nights.

Or was it the other way round? I couldn't sleep because she was in my thoughts. I questioned myself. 

I knew in my head this was not going anywhere.  My parents' warnings came back to haunt me again and again.  I tried to convince myself then that it was just a small infatuation that will fade away with time.

I zoomed and stared at her picture in my cell phone.  It wasn't voluntarily done.  I was clicking a picture of Gaurav and Shadab when she got accidently captured in the background. That was the day I got to know that she had taken admission in the same course and college I studied in.  Leher was her name as I learnt when she answered her roll call. 

Wait!  I stopped for a moment; why was I even curious to know her name then?

However, the knowledge of Leher now being my classmate and possibly a friend in future, made way for the Second Warning.  I was given clear-cut instructions not to mingle with her.  That made me even more curious.  Why of all girls was she being singled out by my parents? I did not know then. People in the mohalla had started to gossip was what I got to know later.

We didn't actually speak much in class.  Just the amount that was necessary.  We greeted each other every day as she knew I was her neighbour's son, and sometime she took notes from me when she could not understand something.  Otherwise, I tried my best to avoid her.  However, I couldn't help but stare at her from the corner of my eye whenever I got the opportunity.  At first she did not seem to notice my stares, and I was glad she didn't.  But as days passed by, the intensity of my stares also increased.  I was helpless.  As I dreaded, she took notice of them and I was embarrassed.

What could she possibly be thinking of me?  A guy who has no other work but to just endlessly stare at her, I thought then!

Hang on!  Why was I so concerned about her perception of me?  Why hadn't the "infatuation" faded away yet?

These questions raced through my head along with the warnings.

Even though my parents' warnings constantly stood as a barrier between me and my feelings, they did not come between me and my behaviour.  I did become friendly with her.  In due course of time, I got to know her well.  By now, I knew her likes and dislikes.  And soon came the Third Warning, today to be precise.  This was the final ultimatum given to me.  I was asked to STAY AWAY from her, else I would be SENT AWAY.  They were very serious this time, I knew it.

But I also knew I could NOT.  Neither could I stay away from her, nor could I be sent away against my will.

The truth was that I LOVED HER. 

"Yes, I love her," I said to myself in assurance.

I did not think further of the consequences of my realisation today.  I cherished the moment of admitting my feelings for the first time.