User
Logout
Login Register
CONTEST : IPL 2024 Prediction Game
You are here :
  1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Debate Mansion
  4. Debate : Who is Respnsible?
  5. Page 3
Watch
Debate Mansion Forum

Debate : Who is Respnsible? - Page 3

share facebook twitter
rainaM
Raina S.M @rainaM Goldie
Anniversary 12 Group Promotion 3
Posted: 11 years ago
Originally posted by meghasingh


First of all I would like to say...really good topic...👏

and now coming to the point...directly if I have to say then it is mentality, it is rooted in our society, in our culture, our patriarchal society which induces the difference between a girl and a boy even before their birth. Clothes can provoke rape...it is completely dumb and absolutely nonsense and another excellent example how blame is shifted on women for everything wrong.

I would like to give an example for those who live in India, especially girls...everyone of us would had definitely faced the difference between a girl and a boy, if not in their family then outside for sure... it's not just about rape, but little things which we chose to ignore...many times me too bcz vulgar comments are so common that you just can't counter them everytime, but when i can, i do...and it is a real incident of my life...not any rural area, but CP...we were four girls at the metro station, and two guys passed comments and gestures on us... we countered them, ultimately they were quiet but then an enough decent looking comments... "agar itne sharif ho toh is waqt aise kapdon mein akele kya kar rahi ho..?" we felt screwed up for a moment... but it's the mentality and the ethics which parents induce in their children.
For me as an individual, it's almost impossible to even think that how can such men exist, but from my personal experience that clothes, alcohol nothing provokes... if you do have a proper mentality then you can't even think of harming anyone... I do have many guys in my life like this, and they give me hope...really...thankfully in my life all the men and guys i love are really wonderful.

Waiting for the day when we girls would be able to walk without any fear wearing whatever we want, and our parents won't worry about us at any time day or night.


I loved your comment about Bollywood movies and their portrayal of women as sex toys In fact I even hit like for it and as for the incident you narrated I'm glad you and your friends were able to make it to saftey :) 


Now coming to the point that "Clothes" don't provoke. I forgot to touch upon that in my comment and here's my two cents. I don't know how to say this without sounding regressive or insensitive, But in my opinion, clothes do provoke. Period.  
A man is physically attracted to a woman and similarly women are physically attracted to men, same goes for homosexual individual and we can't deny that because sex is a basic need for human beings, it's a natural instinct. So a man is going to stare at a woman who is wearing revealing clothes not because he has a bad mentality but because he's naturally conditioned to do so. Same goes for a woman, I know I would stare at a guy walking by with a muscular figure, now I might not be thinking about sex or rape but there is the attraction and that's undeniable. Similarly the man staring at the woman might not be thinking about rape or sex but the sight is pleasing to his eyes. can't do anything about it.  Now if that man was a nutcase he might end up doing something repulsive for all we know. 
I know the idea sounds crazy that  woman shouldn't wear revealing clothes  because some nutjob doesn't have enough resistance but at the end of the day I'd rather have my safety and my peace of my mind rather then walking outside with a bikini on because I have the independence to do so and men should have better control over their instincts.
I know it's not fair, but what would you rather have? 



pencil REPLY QUOTE
salta
salta @salta IF-Sizzlerz
Anniversary 11 Group Promotion 6 + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
@dmgloverforever I don't agree much, but probably I got what you wanna say...look I know attraction is very basic human nature, yeah i do admit if a good looking guy or even shirtless actor is on the screen it catches up my attention and i do admire it.
But the thing is that sex and rape aren't connected anywhere...sex is a pleasure, a bliss, natural desire but rape is nothing but denying one's individuality and violence. honestly in bollywood, mostly it's not skin show which irritates me, but the character women do have.
Clothes are just an excuse, otherwise rapes of 3 year old girl and 80 year old woman would had never happened.
It's more in our culture, our society...women are nothing but commodity for men, and thanks to many f**ked up factors men cant think women are human beings too.
pencil REPLY QUOTE
rainaM
Raina S.M @rainaM Goldie
Anniversary 12 Group Promotion 3
Posted: 11 years ago
@Megha: I agree with what you said to a great extent and I respect your opinion.Some men do consider women a commodity and this behavior is being condoned by Bollywood movies and  it's truly unfortunate.
Now coming to sex and rape not being connected, sex and rape are unfortunately correlated, not directly but indirectly. The deprivation of sex, the inability of a man to fulfill his need the proper way or as you called it  the "bissful" way leads to improper ways such as rape. 
And though you have a valid point that  "Clothes are just an excuse, otherwise rapes of 3 year old girl and 80 year old woman would had never happened." It can be argued that  the revealing clothes in this case might serve as a fodder to this man's erotic fantasies and hence his sexual frustration might result in him actually trying to rape a 3 year old or an 80 year old for that matter to get that satisfaction because kids and older women are the most vulnerable targets.  
So the vulgarity and the skin show is a factor and it can't be denied in my eyes.

And I know It might sound unfair for women to have restraints because some nutcase out there doesn't , but like I said before, I would rather have my safety and my peace of mind.
Sometimes we need to step away from what's "conventionally" fair and unfair and think about the bigger picture. 






Edited by dmgloverforever - 11 years ago
pencil REPLY QUOTE
-Grace-
-Grace- @-Grace- IF-Rockerz
Anniversary 15 Group Promotion 5 + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
some people blame the women for their unacceptable appearance and clothing sometimes it is the women's fault (im not saying it is, but it depends on the intention if she is dressing for attention) and even if she is doing so for attention is the man so vulnerable to lose control and commit such a crime? 

sometimes the rapist himself has some sort of incident leading him to commit such a crime in the name of revenge/justice 

what needs to be done is that people need to talk about this issue, just talking about this issue is considered inappropriate so obviously problems cannot be solved without talking. 

this is all i have to say for now, if anything will come back later and edit. 

p.s. thanks for opening this thread, I hope no one is offended by my views. 
pencil REPLY QUOTE
Minionite
Shreya @Minionite Channel Moderator
Visit Streak 1000 0 Jimmy Jab Games Season 6 0 + 24
Posted: 11 years ago
Originally posted by -najmeen-


Rape is unforgivable crime .Some blame the woman , some blame the man and some strangely blame the fate .Its a cluster of reasons which lead to a criminal awakening of  rape.


Dis-respect to women
Well living in an Indian society made me realize how so ever bend they make the rules towards women ,its not going to help unless the normal people start respecting woman.Today the situation is such that we women cant go back home with full confidence that we will be back home safe. Why is woman not given the respect she deserves? Man,whether they say or not ,they consider women beneath them. According to a engineering student(3rd year-senior of mine) he thinks women are made for manly pleasure. Dis respect to women is written all over his words.

Still asking the women to change,not the men
why are the great so called 'swami's' and politicians after women asking them to wear cultural dresses? Why cant we wear the dress we prefer? Do we go and harass men if they are walking on road without a shirt ? Then why cant men follow the same path and let us live our life? Even women wearing salwar suits are raped, why dont we have anyone asking the men not to bother women?

Women are asked not to go out after 7 PM . Firstly , dont rape occur in morning? what is the fault of the girl? Did she go to the guy asking to rape? If a parent has two children one child is mischievous and other is polite , the mischievous one creates problem ,parents scold the mischievous child and take him into the right path .Right? why dosnt this rule apply in rape cases? Why cant the society ask the men not to go out since they are the problem creaters?


Society is not bothered
The whole society is protesting against the delhi rape victim's death , still rapes are happening in this society. People are not bothered to go on the realistic side. The victim was on road bleeding without any help for around 2 hours. Its time for the society to let the action speak rather than the wordly protest.

Lenient rules.
When the crime is so big, why are the rules so culprit sided? why is it that raping and going for a 14 year jail period coming back seem such a simple process?  Some one said it right ,"If the girl was sent to Singapore for better treatment ,the culprits should be sent to Saudi Arabia for better punishment"



You said everything so well. Much of what I wished to say has been said by you.

The worst part is that the society wasn't bothered to help. For 2 hours, these 2 victims lay there and people just walked past them. Where's the justice in that? If only there was a way to identify these people who left them to die. They should be punished as well!
pencil REPLY QUOTE
Minionite
Shreya @Minionite Channel Moderator
Visit Streak 1000 0 Jimmy Jab Games Season 6 0 + 24
Posted: 11 years ago
Originally posted by -Grace-


some people blame the women for their unacceptable appearance and clothing sometimes it is the women's fault (im not saying it is, but it depends on the intention if she is dressing for attention) and even if she is doing so for attention is the man so vulnerable to lose control and commit such a crime? 

Why are women blamed all around the world? I live in Canada, and we're considered to be an advanced nation. Really? I don't think so. Even here, women are frowned upon when they wear liberal clothing like the men.I have a problem with this. Why are women blamed all around the world? I live in Canada, and we're considered to be an advanced nation. Really? I don't think so. Even here, women are frowned upon when they wear liberal clothing like the men.

And here I feel that women are not as safe as they should be. Every day I hear on the news of a girl being sexually assaulted at a university campus. University is supposed to be a safe place! A place to learn! And still such things happen! This is wrong!
pencil REPLY QUOTE
-Grace-
-Grace- @-Grace- IF-Rockerz
Anniversary 15 Group Promotion 5 + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
Originally posted by KS_Shreya



Why are women blamed all around the world? I live in Canada, and we're considered to be an advanced nation. Really? I don't think so. Even here, women are frowned upon when they wear liberal clothing like the men.I have a problem with this. Why are women blamed all around the world? I live in Canada, and we're considered to be an advanced nation. Really? I don't think so. Even here, women are frowned upon when they wear liberal clothing like the men.

And here I feel that women are not as safe as they should be. Every day I hear on the news of a girl being sexually assaulted at a university campus. University is supposed to be a safe place! A place to learn! And still such things happen! This is wrong!

Im not blaming women in general or liberal at all but just saying that it all depends on the intention women or men (women actually dressing for attention now i dont know how much of that is true)

and i said even if they are dressing for attention its not a crime i think that is human nature to attract and get attracted but the rapists should have some control 

and i also live in Canada and i too feel women are not so safe anywhere. 
And i see your point too, usually women are the ones blamed
Edited by -Grace- - 11 years ago
pencil REPLY QUOTE
LeadNitrate
@246851 Hibernated
Posted: 11 years ago
 The problem is with our mindset. ours is a hypocrite culture. We fast for 9 days during navratri to worship a goddess and yet can observe dudh pilao when a girl child is born in our family.

The culture that starts by thinking one half of the population is burden, that the womb that brought them here is the root of all evil, can only end in this.



making laws will not help, even implementing them will not. There will always be people who will take advantage of law. There are so many opressed wives and yet so many daughters in law who misuse  section 498A.

What we need is a total overhaul. That unfortunately will only happen when we have reached the end of our decline.


Today, 12th January, is the birthday of the biggest youth icon of India. Swami Vivekananda. I will qoute what he said about women and our mentality 120 yrs back. Its still valid today.

It is very difficult to understand why in this country [India] so much difference is made between men and women, whereas the Vedanta declares that one and the same conscious Self is present in all beings. You always criticize the women, but say what have you done for their uplift? Writing down Smritis etc., and binding them by hard rules, the men have turned the women into manufacturing machines! If you do not raise the women, who are living embodiment of the Divine Mother, don't think that you have any other way to rise.
Edited by tannipartner - 11 years ago
pencil REPLY QUOTE
BrunoMars
Menika @BrunoMars IF-Dazzler
Anniversary 12 Group Promotion 4 + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
OMG! I let all my hopes on humanity go after this. This was so depressing, after letting, well, trying to let this sink in. I came to the conclusion, that there is no such thing as humanity. Which got me even more depressed and i had to sink in again.
 
The fact that there has to be discussed about this is so sick and shows how low people think, how there are still people around here that get to learn that the woman is less than the man and always at fault.
 
Even if someone wears short clothes or not traditional clothes, whatt sick person comes to the conclusion that she may get raped?
 
Generation
 
You can't blame the people of the generation. Rapes have always been there. Like the pedophile-thing of the church, it is becoming more public now. -Media and stuff-. Rapes have always been there. It is like a cat eating chocolate and assuming every cat does that. It is wrong and it is closing your eyes for the innocent people of this generation.
 
Not taken Seriously
 
I think rape has become some joke nowadays. It is something extremely serious. I really got mad at Kismat Paisa Delhi. It was disguisting. The subject was taking so lightly. PEOPLE, it is RAPE!
 
Mental
 
Raping someone already is enough proof that you are mental. I get it. People get depressed if no one gets to love you and ready to make love to you. But that is no reason to ruin someone's life. Take her life. It is sad. There are so many mentals walking out there... free.
 
The way of thinking.
 
People from so long ago till now and most probably even later will always blame the woman. I still don't get how people come to the conclusion that the girl is at fault. WHAT THE HELL? It is so frustrating. It might sound harsh, but those people should get raped and thrown out of a bus. After they survived I would like to hear their story.
 
So basically there must be done something on the way of thinking. That is the base. Knowledge is the greatest power. It is the light you use to see in the darkness. People should learn to respect eachother and see eahother as equals. Cause we are equel to one anther. Sad that even after having so many inventions, still things go like this. And people can live with themselfs, knowing you did not only ruin a girls life. You ruined a whole family. And not even getting punished right. No, the family has to live with that their whole life long. With those culprits, they are just getting away so easily.
 
 
pencil REPLY QUOTE
..Sana...
Annie @..Sana... Goldie
Anniversary 12 Group Promotion 3 Commentator 1
Posted: 11 years ago
Impotant topic
According to me I think girl gets raped because of there clothing.And today's western culture people would think its actually cool and hot and all those stuff.I live in Australia and 12 year old girls show there tummy where shorts to short and have boyfriends and stuff.I think its because of there clothing because in Australian news this 13 year old got raped by her crush and she was very popular in her school.And I also think that mens get very dirty and they rape.Well it is a very important topic.Thank you for this topic.
-Sana
pencil REPLY QUOTE
left-big Previous 1 2 3 4 5 ... 23 Next right-big

Related Topics

doc-text Topics pencil Author stackexchange Replies eye Views clock Last Post Reply
Debate Mansion Chit Chat Corner #1

pencil carisma2   stackexchange 5   eye 1924

carisma2 5 1924 7 days ago benisfroms

Topic Info

85 Participants 222 Replies 23701Views

Topic started by -Stutz-

Last replied by zorrro

loader
loader
up-open TOP