Hope *KiSha OS*

Hope

I know what it takes to move on

I know how it feels to lie

All I want to do

Is trade this life for something new

Holding on to what I haven't got...

"I wish I could trade my life for a new one!" Kiya looked at her watch. It was still pretty early and she was sure the school was still as empty as it had been when she had reached there. She never got to school really early, but today was an exception. After all that had happened the day before, the sooner she got away from her house and her mother and elder sister, the better it was...

She had spent the whole night crying herself to sleep as her mother's harsh words and her sister's taunts kept replaying in her mind and what was more, to top it all off, that jerk KD's words too came back to haunt her. She hardly got any sleep and so got up early, got ready for school, putting all the more mascara and eyeliner than usual to cover up her puffy eyes, and got out of the house even before her mother woke up. The school was as she had predicted it to be; empty. She didn't know why, but she felt like thinking a little and putting her jumbled up thoughts and emotions in some kind of order and so she went where her legs took her, upstairs to the labs, which were locked. She roamed the corridor aimlessly, listening to "Waiting For The End" on loop. Chester's vocals seemed to calm her down a bit...till she remembered why she had been frustrated in the first place and then pulling out the earphones, she shoved her iPod in her bag. The cruel and hurting words were still replaying themselves in her mind and try as she might, she just couldn't get them out of her head. However, the thing that surprised her the most was that KD's words seemed to hurt her much more than her mother's and sister's words combined together. She kept telling herself that she didn't give a damn as to what that jerk thought of her but though she refused to admit it, she knew that had she truly not cared about what KD thought of her, his words wouldn't have hurt her so much and she wouldn't have kept dwelling upon them...

She had told him to his face, at the party, that she used to hate him and will continue to do so...and yet...deep down she knew that it was not the truth...in fact, it was too far away from the truth...She had tried to hate him, to think about all the wrong that he ever did her...and yet, all those wrongs could never overcome the fact that she had spent some of the most wonderful and cherished moments of her life with him...those little moments at the Teachers' Day party...that beautiful and carefree moment at the beach, which sadly had been ruined by that bitch of her sister...the first time she fished with him at the Camp...the dance around the bonfire...their first hug when she had clung to him for support and safety and when he had so lovingly consoled her...the way he always seemed to take care of her...

She shook her head to clear it of all her nonsense thoughts about that jerk of a Keshav Desai. "I might as well go down to the classroom," she thought. As she walked down the steps, she heard voices...which sounded very familiar...Was it who she thought it was? She had been right, she realised as she reached the first landing. KD and Juhi were sitting on the second last step of the staircase and Juhi had her hand on his shoulder. What the hell? "I can understand, KD," she was saying."I know how it feels...but KD, then how could you have spiked her drink that day?" " 'Spiked her drink?' Are they talking about me?...Hmph...lets see what answer he gives her now." She kept a hand on the banister, her bag dangling from it and waited for KD to answer, which he did as he cut in midway through Juhi's sentence.

 "I did spike her drink Juhi," he said and looked away. "I was angry and hurt. I thought she had betrayed me and so, as revenge, I decided to spike her drink so that she wouldn't be able to sing that night and would be humiliated in front of everyone. But...but Juhi, it was all a misunderstanding and as soon as Jaitley Sir cleared it up, I felt so guilty and so outraged at myself...I couldn't believe that I had done such a crime..and...and...I went back to change the drink...and...then Ranveer saw me..and then..." KD stopped there while Juhi still had her hand on his shoulder. Kiya, meanwhile, was speechless.

He sighed then and continued, "I tried to tell her Juhi...I tried to tell her that it was all a misunderstanding...so many times...I wanted her to just know what had actually happened...then she could continue to hate me all her life...because I definitely deserved it..but she never listened...and now...I just don't want to think about her anymore. I have to focus on my studies...on helping Baba pay back his debt..." He sighed again and looked at Juhi. "Meri chodo, Juhi. What about you?" Kiya saw Juhi slowly withdrawing her hand from KD's shoulder and her mouth formed words. Words, which didn't reach Kiya however, as her own mind was still numb from shock. From so long KD had been pleading with her to listen to him...just once...saying that it had all been a misunderstanding...and yet...she never did listen to him...

But now, on finally getting to know the truth...Her mind was a whirlpool of emotions, shock, sadness, disbelief...She took in the scene in front of her, KD had gotten up and was holding out his hand towards Juhi and was saying something and then he smiled as Juhi took his hand and got up and then hugged him.

There was surprise on KD's face for a second after which he chuckled and hugged Juhi back. Kiya's eyes widened in shock as she comprehended what was going on and finally, there was only anger. Her hand was still resting on the banister while the other hand was now clenched by her side. It was then that her eyes locked with his. She didn't know what he made of her expression...but his, was one of momentary shock and anger...which faded as soon as it came and he averted his eyes, looking back at Juhi as she let go of him and smiled. Kiya clenched her fist even tighter. A part of her told her to go to Juhi and give her a piece of her mind, while another told her to ignore them both, but just to show her displeasure, stomp down the stairs and shove past them. She however, listened to neither. Her legs wouldn't move and she stayed rooted to her spot until Juhi and KD were out of sight, Juhi having started her blabbering again and tugging on KD's arm and KD letting her drag him and smiling at her antics.

After a few minutes, she walked down the stairs, slowly, taking one step at a time as her mind again started replaying words and moments. Her mother and her sister's cruel words, KD calling her a mannequin, without any feelings or emotions, her own words to KD as she told him to get down on his knees, rub his nose on the floor and then say sorry to her, the comfort of being in KD's arms, all the times he had smiled at her, all the moments they had shared...She walked on till she reached an empty corridor. She leaned against a pillar and a tear rolled down her cheek.

Her mother and sister had no right whatsoever to call her a failure. Anger...

Why couldn't KD see how much she was going through? Sadness...

Then again, she had behaved so maliciously with him...that he no longer seemed to care about her. Hurt...

Had she lost him forever? Pain...

A few more tears rolled down her cheeks and then a sob escaped her mouth, her lips trembled and she cried...totally broken and helpless...wanting someone to comfort her...and she cried. She didn't know for how long she had been crying when her blurred vision of the world was blocked by a white object. It was a white piece of cloth, to be exact; a white handkerchief, to be even more precise. She took it and wiped her tears with it and then turned to say a word of thanks...but her Good Samaritan was already walking ahead, one hand clutching the strap of his bag and the other shoved in his pocket. She gaped at him in surprise. She had expected it to be Ranveer...or anyone else...but it wasn't. It was the one person she thought would no longer come to her aid. It was him. KD.

She dabbed at her eyes again as a few more treacherous tears threatened to escape and then she looked at the handkerchief. Her life, at the moment, seemed bleak, just like those few blotches of her tears mixed with her runny mascara and eyeliner that stained the pristine white handkerchief and it was then that she noticed that one green stripe running along the side of the handkerchief. She looked up again. KD had already disappeared but a small smile still appeared on her lips in spite of herself. Yes, her life certainly seemed bleak, but maybe, just maybe, after all, there was a glimmer of hope.

Well, this is it people. As I stated before, I'm not sure about this OS at all. I'll be honest, I don't profess to be some great writer or something...there are people right here on IF whose works I admire so much...and on reading which I was so overawed...ki comment toh kya...meri 'Like' karne tak ki bhi himmat nai hui...

This is my 5th OS since I started writing fics...somehow..my work was quite appreciated...for which I'll always be grateful..but for me..the fact remains...if I compare my woks to those of the people I meant...(which I wouldn't even dream of doing)...its nothing but absolute bullshit. Do comment phir bhi. Those who had some kind of expectations from me and have been utterly disappointed, I'm so sorry...

This is it, people, last OS from me. As many of you must be knowing..my Boards are coming up and currently..studying for me is sine qua non. I cannot afford to do badly in them...and so, adios. 1 month of chutkara from me..enjoy! ;)

I will, however be back once my Boards are over...with another OS...hopefully much better than this one. Thank you so much, people, for tolerating all of my nonsense...and this OS.

Indebted,

Mugs.

PS: If you are wondering what the hell the connection is...the handkerchief has a green stripe on it...and green is believed to be symbolic of hope...in many places..