Posted: 10 years ago
REMOVED Edited by AquaSandhya - 9 years ago
Posted: 10 years ago

REMOVED                                                                       


                             

Edited by AquaSandhya - 9 years ago
Posted: 10 years ago
Nids

First Edit:

Wow!  Where have you been hiding this entire time. You are a natural writer. 

More detailed comment later. 

Second Edit:

I've read the prologue three times. You have describe the location, emotions, circumstances so beautifully that I felt like I was watching a movie.  

Absolutely brilliant Sandy! I am so excited to start this journey with you. I don't want to make too many guesses I would rather you tell us the tale. 

One of my favorite points that I forgot to mention is the title. Just loved it immediately. This story is definitely a love at first read moment for me. 

Can't wait for chapter 1!
Edited by Nidsubh007 - 10 years ago
Posted: 10 years ago


What a wonderful start to your story. Beautifully written. It was lucid, beautifully expressed and with a wonderful flow to it, but then I had never expected any less from you :)

Coming to the plot itself, I loved the aura of melancholy, intrigue and poignancy you conjured up with a few well chosen words. I also loved the way you used vivid imagery in your storytelling to build this aura. I am not going to guess if the mother is Khushi or not, or pass any judgement, but I did feel pity for her. Giving up your baby can be one of the most difficult, soul shattering decisions for a woman. I wonder how many bridges she had had to burn to reach to this point. 

The part where she is nursing the baby with tears running down her cheeks made me teary too. I can't wait for the next part !!

Happy Writing...😊



Edited by IPK007 - 10 years ago
Posted: 10 years ago
R!

Banner is too good! 👍🏼

Shall read and get back!


--Edited--

Mother Nature too sympathizes with the lady's conditions. She too is shedding tears at what the lady has to go through and what she has already gone through.

So she is being punished by fate for being beautiful.

Appears that the baby is born out of wed- lock---- mud- slinging by the world suggests so.

She is also a lady who frequents the chapel as she knows the side door is always open.

Very true, we tend to think about how the day went at night and seek reasons for certain incidents of the day.

This lady in question is scared about the safety of the baby and is with the baby in the chapel to protect it. Was she planning to leave it there? Will the elderly woman provide the warmth to the lady and her baby? Or are they going to be separated?

Sandhyaji, it is as if the scenes were actually playing in front of my eyes. U have me captured with this Prologue! I cannot wait to read the forthcoming chapters now...

I know aapne bataya tha that prologue doesn't give inkling about what is to come next...😆 (How could I not add this emoticon!?😆) Well well well, I am all excited to read further now!😃

May this journey as a writer on IF give u all the joys!👍🏼

Edited by Nexus_13 - 10 years ago
Posted: 10 years ago
Twiggy 

~Edit~

You stole my heart right at the first sentence :) 

Now who is this woman ? Her beauty makes me think its Khushi, but the child has brown eyes.. so maybe it is Arnav's mother holding him in her arms? Oh I could keep guessing, but I'd rather bug you for updates 😉

Always knew you would make a stellar writer, and here it is! The whole scene was the church was so vivid.. it was like I could see the whole thing take place in front of my eyes. The eerie old lady, and the time the baby holds her hand.. that beautiful moment in the midst of all the sorrow. Lovely! 

Soo glad you are writing! Can't wait for Chapter 1 😃
Edited by vgedin - 10 years ago
Posted: 10 years ago
That's really touching.

So Khushi has a new born baby.
Posted: 10 years ago
Finally!🥳
Now, I'll be stalking this thread for eternity. bwaha ha ha!😉
Posted: 10 years ago
Welcome to the dark side ;)

Are you kidding me? Busy my left foot. I'm here. Be back after reading.

Edited:

Fallen hook line and sinker. Count me in for this journey, Sandhya. There are people you are sure will make great story tellers - I always knew you would be one of those.  Thank you for showing me that I was right :)

A poignant beginning - I wondered if the woman was Khushi but something tells me this isn't. Of course will wait for you to tell us.

What a beautifully sad moment - the decision to let the baby go isn't easy but who am I to judge. Who knows what her life has been - not happy - I can see. Naivete can extract its pound of flesh rather cruelly and look how that has happened here, taking a baby and its mother in its toll. 

My heart leaped when the baby held it's Mamma's hand. Hasn't every mother felt that. And the moment when your eyes fill up without warning. Sigh. This was beautiful and melancholic. And yes the Rain God does have a weird sense of what is poetic :)


Edited by meera30 - 10 years ago
Posted: 10 years ago
Sandy!

Firstly, congratulations on the inaugration   ⭐️
Secondly, now we have one more story to play res-res on! ;)

And whatte prologue! Lovely! I have said it before. Will say it again coz the curiosity is just mounting up. My mind is already whirring with who is who and whats and hows. 'Time to let go' got me apprehensive. Better wait for the next one than to race my mind.

Good one!Edited by Anupama. - 10 years ago

Related Topics

No Related topics found

Topic Info

239 Participants 1115 Replies 147249Views

Topic started by AquaSandhya

Last replied by Arshi.Sugi.IPK

loader
loader
up-open TOP