@McNinja - When I say "You have the live your life knowing that someone didn't want you", I don't mean it as something that always deserves pity. It simply a fact children who were given up have to process. Personally, if I place myself in those shoes - I feel abandonment. However, different people process it differently. Some people process it with rage and resentment, some people embrace and understand, some people shut it out. There's a variety of ways people process it. But it is a fact that they live with for their life - and it is very different from the feeling of being orphaned and is probably a feeling many fortunate people will never truly get.
@Genie - Ideally every kid deserves family not rehab. However, there are certain circumstances in the case of abuse where rehab is the greater good. No matter how compassionate, genuine and loving parents are - if they don't have the psychiatric expertise to deal with abuse victims they can do more damage than good. Even the medical staff and legal professionals who work with abuse victims are specially trained. Rehab isn't always bad. There are many families where the parents are trained social workers. They will foster abused children, take them to their treatments until they are ready to be placed with a family. I'd say don't ever rule out abused children or avoid adopting them, but at the same time be aware of what you are getting into.
And always if a child adopted or your own starts acting up, becomes delinquent and has serious behavioral issues - get professional help. There is no shame in getting help for yourself or your kids so that you can be a happy family.
@Souro - Those are some good points about adoption. It is indeed a lottery. Sometimes it is hard to steer away from the noble' aspect and focus on other practical pros and cons.
I think Genie explained it well. To concur and add to what she said. Some people will always feel a need' in their life for children. In this situation adoption is a viable option in lieu of traditional adoption. It shouldn't be seen as a purely noble deed or great favor. The parent(s) needs a child and the child needs parent(s) - a two way street. The unfortunate part is that one kid gets arbitrarily picked out on cuteness or similar random factor, while many more remain forever rejected. Despite that giving one a good life is better than none at all.
Donating to orphanages or volunteering time are fairer options that give equally to a larger number of kids. This option doesn't help fill the void' of children people fill. On the positive side though many adoptive parents tend to maintain a lifelong relationship with the organization/orphanage they adopted from donating as well as advocating.
This also made me think of an issue brought up earlier - parents who give up kids so they can have a better life. Keeping aside my argument of rejection, giving up children is also unfair. Why should this' child which has parent(s) add to the count of orphaned/needy children or in the worst case be bumped ahead of so many other children who have been waiting in line to be adopted?
On a grander scale - making the world a better place is very difficult notion. There are so many needs with limited resources. I think we have to pick which narrow issue is most important to us and contribute accordingly.