iluvrainaarti thumbnail
Anniversary 12 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 10 years ago
Hey guys! How u all doing? This is the second time I'm writing a story and the first time I'm writing a OS. Let me warn you guys that I'm not very good at writing stories๐Ÿ˜• so this is probably gonna be bakwas. But I was like ki agar likh diya hai toh let people read it and get some feedback. I hope you guys like it and if you don't I'm sorry๐Ÿ˜ณ. Feedback and criticisms will be taken with open hands and will be greatly appreciated.

Ps. I couldn't think of a name for this so if anyone has any suggestions please do say.
Story is in the next post. Enjoy!(I hope ๐Ÿ˜‰)
Edited by iluvrainaarti - 10 years ago

Created

Last reply

Replies

18

Views

7787

Users

17

Likes

76

Frequent Posters

iluvrainaarti thumbnail
Anniversary 12 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 10 years ago
In this os sanyukta has just settled in and hasn't been to her first class yet.



1 day ago: Mama ne mujhe form sign karke de diya...woh bhi mere bina kahe, bina pooche...yeh kehke ki apne sapne jee le...muje pata tha ki mujhe ladna phadta apne sapne ke liye lekin aane wale kal mein yeh sab hojata yeh nahi pata tha. Ghar se mein aagayi aur jab admission ke baad apne room mein gayi toh apni roommate se pata chala ki she was in my stream and she transferred streams kyunki ladkon ne itna pareshan kiya ussko especially. finally this morning I managed to convince her to stay, kyunki meri hi tarah mechanical engineering uss ka dream tha.


Phir meri meeting unn ladkon se hui. Bohat harass kiya, itne sare kaam diye, itne saare pranks kehle ki main dar jaoun aur chali jaoun wapis... chot bhi paunchi mujhe, itni ki ab its hard to walk...par main nahi haari...ladke toh ladke hai and unki fitrt mein hi harass karna hota hai...but main bhi ladki hoon aur ladkion mein patience hota hai woh bi maine dikha diya... I will not give up.


I was walking to class jab...


Randhir: oye ladki rukh! Kahan jaa rahi hoo sanyu, my dear!? Zaara humse bhi milo...


Sanyukta: kya hai? Mujhe class janna hai.


Randhir: class jaa ke kya karogi? Jab stream hi change karna hai to why go to class?


Sanyukta: and who said I'm changing my stream huh? Kissne kaha? For your info nahi main aur nahi kaustuki stream change kar rahein hai... we aren't changing our stream.


Randhir: kyun hum ladkon se panga le rahi hoo? Yeh tum ladkion ka kaam nahi hai.


Sanyukta: oh! Toh ab tum mujhe bata gaye ki what I should do and what I shouldn't? aur tum hote kaun ho yeh saab karne aur kehne wale? 1st rank se tum yahan ke head nahi banjate! Are tumhare aukaad kya hai? Huh? Tum toh un gaon ki mardon de bhi zyaada backward minded ho. Despit living in a city and receiving good education tumhari itni choti soch? Disgusting!


Randhir: aye ladki! Tum toh zyaada hi bolne lagi ho! Abhi dekhata hoon tujhe hum ladke kya kar sakte hai aur meri aukad kya hai. Chal!


--He grabs her hand and takes her to the main hall in anger. Along the way boys are coming up to her and harassing her even more. Randhir tells them all to come to main hall taki saab milke usska ghamand (ego) todh sake. Hee pulls her infront of him and pushes her. Sanyukta goes flying and falls down hurting her head."


Sanyukta mv: Main gir gayi... kissi ke pairon mein main girgayi...and when I looked up toh dekha ki who papa the.


Sanyukta: papa, maa, bhai..aa..aap yyahan?


Randhir mv: oh fish! Isski family. Chaolo acha hai... ab us ski family khud ussse yahan se lee jayegi itne saare boys dekh ke.


Sanyukta gets up and -Slap!- her father slaps her.


Mom: ye hap kya karrahe ho!


Randhir: O teri! Yeh kya hua!?


Dad looking at his wife: tum chup raho! (now turning to sanyukta) tujhe kya laaga, tu yahan aayegi aur mujhe pata nahi chalega huh! -Salp- mere mana karne ke bavajood you came here! -Slap- tu mechanical engineering paregi! -Slap- Mechanical peregi.


Mom: suniye ji, bas bhi kijye. Varun (sorry don't know the bros name) rok ne apne papa ko.


Varun: Kyun rokun papa ko? Sahi toh kar rahe hai!


Mom: apni behan ki zara sib hi parva nahi hai tujhe?


Varun: ussko humari izzat ki parva thi jab ussne yeh kand kiya?


-slap- the dad hit sanyukta,this time with so much force ki Sanyukta seedhe jaake Randhir pe girgayi. -Mini Eyelock (I know clich)-


Randhir: you okay?


Sanyukta: tumhe isse kya? I'm fine.


Randhir: who to dikh raha hai. M..main kuch help...karun?


Sanyukta: No. aur waise bhi shouldn't you be on my dad's side? Kyunki he also doesn't want me to study. Ooh I get it, tumhe lagraha hoga ki I'm going to leave so tum meri packing mein help karna chate ho. Well I'm sorry to burst your bubble but I'm not going.


Varun: Dekha papa?! Main kehta tha na ki yeh zaroor kisse ladke ke wajah se yeh sab karrahi hain. Yehi hoga woh kamina.


Sanyukta: bas!!! BAS! (Angrily) apko sach mein lagta hai ki main kissi ladke ke wajah se yahan aayi hoon? Main yahan apne sapne ko poora karne aaye hoon. Mechanical engineer bane aayi hoon.


Dad: Tum ladki ho, tumhare sapne engineer bana nahi ghar basana hai. Samjhi?!


Sanyukta: nahi papa. Shaadi karna mera nahi aap ka sapna hai.

Dad: tumhe koi haq nahi hai aise sapne dekne ka.


Sanyukta: kyun papa. Kyunki main ladki hoon? Agar aisa hai toh mujhe paraya likya (studying) kyun. Why? Aur ab jab maine sapna dekh liya toh you wnt me forget it. Aise kaise bhool jaoun papa? Jab main 6 saal ki thi tab se maine yehi sapna dekha hai. Spana toh maine dekh liya hai papa aur use main poora bhi karungi. Ab main peeche hatne wali nahi hoon.


Dad: Sanyu!!! Tu bhool rahi ho ki tu apne papa se baath kar rahi ho! Tu abhi kea bhi yahan se chalegi humare saath! Baath samajh mein aayi?!


Sanyukta: nahi papa. Main nahi jaoungi!


Varun: tu humari baath ke kilaaf(against) jaayegi!? Huh! Tumhari itni himmat!


Raises his hand to slap sanyukta but she holds his hand!


Sanyukta: bas bhai. Bas. Bohat sunliya bohat bardast karliya. Ab aur nahi. Agar aap mech. engineering karsakte hai toh main kyun nahi. Aree aapne toh 3 baar fail karne ke baad admission mila tha... mujhe toh pehle hi baar milgaya toh main kyun na karun?


Dad: apne bhai ki bezzati karna sikhya (taught) hai humne tujhe?


Sanyukta: nahi papa. Apne toh yeh sikhya hai ki ladkion ki koi aukad nahi koi jagah nahi iss so called society mein. Par mujhe yeh seek (lesson) achi nahi lagi... toh maine school se seekha (learnt) ki jab tak aapne haq ke liye nahi ladoge (fight) toh haq nahi milega. Aur main ladongi... I will fight for my rights.


Dad: teek hai aaj se tu humare liye margayi. Meri koi beti nahi hai. Iss college ko main koi paise (money) waise nahi dene wala teri fees ke liye.


Sanyukta: t..teek hai pa..sorry Mr. Aggarwal. Aap chinta maath kijiye, main aapse paise nahi mangungi. Mere first year ke fees maine khud hi bhari hai...apne savings se aap ke paison se nahi. Aur aage ki fees main kaam karke karlungi. I'll manage Mr. Aggarwal.


Dad: Chalo yahan se. ab humara koi kaam nahi hai yahan.


Dad and Varun leave. Mom stays back.


Mom: sanyu, I'm sorry beta. Main kuch nahi karpayi. Bas chup chap tamasha dekhti rahi. Mujhe maaf karde.


Sanyukta: nahi mama. Aap ki koi galathi (mistake) nahi hai. Kissi ki galathi nahi hai. Aap meri chinta maath kijiye and go from here, warna papa aap ko bhi ghar se nikal denge aur I don't want that. Jab aap paunch jaayenge toh mujhe phone karna ok.


-Sanyukta hugs her mom and then her mom leaves. Now Sanyukta turns to everyone (mostly guys) and looks at Randhir with anger and determination in her eyes.-


Sanyukta: aur kissi ko kuch bolna hai? Ki main yahan kya kar rahi hoon... ya mujhe aur tang karna hai so I leave from here? Agar aisa hai toh let me warn you... main yahan se itni aasani se nahi jaane wali.


-everyone leaves except Randhir. Sanyukta limps towards him.-


Sanyukta: Tumhe jitni koshish karni hai karlo. Infact, saab ke saath milkar planning karlo ki mujhe yahan se kaise bhagan hai. It's going to be of no use...koi fyaada nahi hone wala kyunki agar mere papa mujhe yaha se nahi leke jaasake toh tum kya cheez ho.


- she starts leaving limpingly. Randhir is watching her go and sees shes strugguling and will soon fall. He goes to her to help her. Both look at eachother. -mini eyelock again- sanyukta comes out of it first and pushes Randhir away.-


Sanyukta: thanks, but mujhe tumhare sahare (support) ki zaroorat nahi hai.

-she leaves for infirmary.-

Randhir: Aab koi planning toh nahi karunga tumhe yahan se bhagane ke liye. But yes tumse fight karne mein bohat maza aayega. Its gonna be fun fighting with you.


- he leaves for class.-


The end. Leave comments and critiques please.

 

Edited by iluvrainaarti - 10 years ago
honestyfirst thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
Title can be the super strong girl sayukta...
N the OS was nice ...
๐Ÿ‘
simons9 thumbnail
Anniversary 12 Thumbnail Group Promotion 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
it was vry nce keep writing mre...
honestyfirst thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
Yes keep writing more ...
Will be waiting for ur nxt OS
aryapk1997 thumbnail
Anniversary 11 Thumbnail Group Promotion 2 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 10 years ago
hey its nice keep writing 
rkbala thumbnail
Anniversary 11 Thumbnail Group Promotion 5 Thumbnail Networker 3 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
awesmm OS...๐Ÿ‘
plzz keep on writing...nd plzz plzz update dis OS soon...๐Ÿ˜Š
Ayesha_Kreya thumbnail
Anniversary 10 Thumbnail Group Promotion 3 Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
wow...loving it dhaasu update
seriously i hate her dad...da way dey reacted...
randheer felt sorry for her
lol...fight krne mein maza aata h...
eagerly want to know
do update soon

norzinwangmo thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
HEY this os is too gud...continue writin...
WhisperOfDreams thumbnail
Anniversary 11 Thumbnail Group Promotion 5 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 10 years ago
Hiya!! 
that was one hell of an OS... the first RanYukta (i donno the official couple name bt i like this name so) OS!! 
and i liked it...well except for the fact that her dad turned into an abusive jerk... i hate father being abusive...!! well nothn the less this ways atleast her father left her life for good..even her good for nothn useless brother...!! 
cant help but critise these ppl!!
but the end scene was adorably cute...kinda cliche but cute nonetheless..!!
your not a bad writer like u warned all of us..!! your a talented writer must say babes..!!!
regards
safrena!