Arakshi FF: Ajeeb si daastan.. Chapter 18C - Pg.101 27/4 - Page 2

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Avantika

@AeDilHaiMushkil

IF-Rockerz

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: shailyshukla9
wowww fantastic start yaar...plz jaldi jaldi update dena na plzzz...well sakshi kaha se jaa rhi h city ka naam toh bta do yaar...thnx for pm...👍🏼

I did mention Mumbai.. 😃

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Ritu Dang

@coolRD

Senior Member

Posted: 10 years ago

it ws fantastic.. suprb strt..👏👏

continue soon..😊

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882716

Inactive

Posted: 10 years ago

Awwsssmmm start
loved it
supperbbb
plzzz cont sooon
thanks for PM

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sashashyam

@sashashyam

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

Avantika my dear,

This is somewhat confusing as yet, though, given your excellent narrative and linguistic skills, it reads very smoothly and convincingly.

- The part about Sakshi is clear, and there is the unmistakable revenge motif there, for her father Samar Anand. Of course we have no idea as yet about his identity, especially as to whether he was the mentor whom Arjun mourns so bitterly. Since you have warned us that this one is going to be very filmy, it seems to me more than likely that he would be the same person, for you would have the long arm of coincidence in action here!

- The ETF gang is also all there, correct and numbered, minus the (presumably dispensable) females. I am pleased that Rathore and Arjun here have a civilised relationship, and are not snarling at each other and exchanging barbs all the time.

- Now for Arjun's mentor. It is not clear what precisely has happened to him that it has been featured on live television in so brutal a manner that it brings Arjun to his knees, literally, in what looks like a hidden trauma resurfacing and crippling him emotionally.

Has he been killed in a bomb blast? Is that the loss that Arjun has suffered? If so, why and how has his mentor's name been maligned?

Why does Arjun have a bruised jaw? That happens only if one is punched on the jaw. And why has he alienated himself from his old life, including from the cutting chai to which he was introduced by the same mentor whom he idolised?

-Finally, while Arjun's determination to clear his mentor's name is understandable, why does he want to do that "before he could embrace death"? Is he suffering from something currently diagnosed as terminal. Is that why he is physically so affected by the TV story about his mentor?

And what are the commendations for?

That is about it for now. Let me see how many of my questions are answered in your Chapter 1.

Shyamala Aunty

[QUOTE=_Mohabbatgirl_]

*PROLOGUE*

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lina

@linakusharberry

IF-Addictz

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

wow it was an awesome update i just loved it to the core of my heart please do continue soon and thanks for the pm dear😊😊

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zainab hassan

@zainabhassan1

Goldie

Posted: 10 years ago

Awesome dear interserting do continue

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Sakshi

@Sakuu

IF-Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

You won't have to be worried about me not commenting, I haven't seen an episode since the bombblast, but I can't just say goodbye to the amazing stories you guys write

Sioo I loved the prologue!! It seems that their connection is already there, as is their goal. I'm eager to see what will happen when they will meet

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Shezi19

@Shezi19

IF-Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

Nice yaar
Waiting them jab they met

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844858

Hibernated

Posted: 10 years ago

Hmmm! I love the idea of this story...seems super interesting! And ofcourse coz you're writing it, its bound to be pretty awesome!

Waiting for more.:-)

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857870

Inactive

Posted: 10 years ago

Awesome start
prologue seems interesting
so they both have a past
waiting for the precap
thanks for the pm
continue soon

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Arakshi FF: Ajeeb si daastan.. Chapter 18C - Pg.101 27/4 - Page 2

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