It was the 6 th of february..it had been
three days to nidhi's delivery..n the bleeding had stopped..to almost a trickle
but she was still v pale n weak...though she had been feeding the baby
regularly..n dr sudhir acknowledged it openly that it was dr mathur's brain
wave that had saved nidhi...clearly experience was unbeatable..Dr ashutosh had
not gone home..he did not leave the hospital even for a moment these three
days...armaan d get his clothes n he d freshen up in his cabin washroom..rest
of the family..came during visiting hours..n could meet the baby..dr sudhir was
still not allowing visitors into nidhi's room..no one except ashutosh n the
baby...
Dr ashutosh called dr khanna to know of the
baby's progress.."he is doing absolutely fine..n there is no problem..you
maytake him home whenever you wish to..sir..the only reason why he has to be
here is bcoz of dr nidhi.."..ashutosh nodded n thanked the dr.He went to
see nidhi..she was in deep sleep..dr ashutosh knew ,she had to remain awake
most of the night bcoz the baby needed to be fed..ashutosh came close..looked
at her reports..n the monitor..all was normal..except that the pain n blood
loss had made her really frail..but she still looked lovely..her hair were as
usual on her face..ashutosh wanted to push them back...but didnt..lest hed
disturb his nidhi...he quietly closed the door n came out
It was morning visiting time..n dadibua n
baba were there..the nurse got them the baby..n both were busy playing n
cuddling him...as baba said"arre samdhanji..zara dhyaan se..."n
dadibua..retorted"mujhe mat sikhao..bachche paalna..haan nahi to..."n
ashutosh laughed as he touched their feet..dadi bua asked "daaktar..kaisi
hai nidhi"?ashutosh said"theek hai dadibua..bus bahut weak hai..ayenge
dr sudhir abhi.."dadibua immediately spoke"to unse poochna..nidhi ko
chutti kab milegi...aakhir bbachche ki chaththi to karni hai na 8
ko..."baba n ashu looked at eachother as the nurse took the baby
back..ashutosh said"dadibua..samajhne ki koshish kariye..abhi nidhi ko
nahi relieve kar sakte..she is still recovering...bataaiye kaise hogi
pooja"??dadi bua was emotional.."jaanti hoon daaktar..par isliye keh
rahi thi..ki itni mushkil se hua hai..pooja to zuroori hai..chahe kitni choti
karlo...kya yahaan hospital me nahi kar sakte"??ashutosh
declined"nah!!dadibua..wo asambhav hai..mai rules nahi tod
sakta,.."dadi bua went to sit on the chair..dejected..baba held ashu n
said"ashu dekh na ..kuch beech ka raasta nikal sake to...samdhanji bhi
galat nahi keh rahi...""to baba..mai kya..."the nurse
came"sir dr nidhi is awake..aapko milna chahti hain"n ashutosh went
in..
Nidhi was in a reclining position..nd as
ashutosh went close..she smiled..a beautiful smile that lit up her as well as
ashutosh's eyes.."kaisa feel ho raha hai ab..."nidhi nodded n
said"theek hu,..better hoon..aap kaise hain"??ashu evaded her nn
said"mujhe kya hua.."just then dr sudhir entered.."hi
hardstone..hi littli girl.. how de"??n he checked nidhi..read her reports
n finally said"good..you are much better..now eat well..the nurse
complained to me that you trouble her in taking milk..kaise
chalega..bataao..you are a nursing mother..tum healthy hogi tabhi to feed
milega baby ko..."dr ashutosh seemed to agree as nidhi had her eyes
downcast..as if in front of her teachers..punished for not doing her
homework.."i m sorry sir..."ashutosh asked sudhir"when will she
be relieved.."sudhir smiled n said.."whats the hurry..you r here all
the time.."dr ashutosh smiled n explained the grandparents insisting for a
pooja..sudhir contemplated'"see ,the baby ..can be taken anytime..but i
feel nidhi can be relieved only on 10 ..not before that..sorry..but even the
best neurosurgeon n m.d. cannot overrule me.."n sudhir left..smilimgly..
Nidhi took ashutosh's hand n said.."ek
baat maanenge"??ashutosh nodded..he couldnt refuse her
anything..."baby ko le jaayiye pooja ke liye...phir jab mai aaoongi tab we
can have a celebration..why should we deprive him..of his pooja..aur dadibua
aur baba to..waise hi khushi se paagal honge..can i meet them.."?ashutosh
asked what instructions sudhir had left..nurse said visitors were allowed now..
Dadibua n baba entered nidhi's room..n
dadibua..didnt screech..she just kept looking at her baby doll nidhi..now a
mother..baba patted her..both were speechless.finally nidhi
spoke"baba..aap pooja karwa leejiye.8 ko..dr ashutosh leke baithenge baby
ko..maan gaye hain woh..."n baba..bent n kissed nidhi's hair...
Ashutosh had got his own breakfast with
nidhi's n was forcing her to eat..n then have milk..as nidhi gulped down the
milk..she mafe a face..ashu knew she hated it..he smiled..came close n kissed
her..on her forehead.."ye prize milega..har doodh ke glass ke
baad..."In the evening..when nidhi woke up from her siesta..she saw dr
ashutosh ..fast asleep..on the chair..next to her...with his spechs on..nidhi
tried to reach out..but he was far..she gulped..remembering the moment when
during their separation..one night she had entered his cabin ..to find him
sleeping,..the same way..n just as she was going to remove his spechs..he hsad
opened his eyes..to look directly into hers...nidhi sighed...she d never leave
him again...never..As the sister brought in the baby..for feed,dr ashutosh was
awakened"arre yeh phir doodh peeyega.."??nidhi smiled m
glared"ji..nazar nahi lagaaiye..."as she poened her gown n put him to
her bosom...ashutosh kept looking at the two..the way each had saved the
other..As nidhi changed the baby to her other breast..she spoke.."mera
kehna maanenge.."ashu raised an eyebrow.."aaj raat ghar chale jaaiye
plz..main to theek hoon ab..aapko aaraam chahiye..dekhiye kya haalat ho gayi
hai"??ashu ran his hands on his stubble n thru his beard"arre woh ek
long surgery thi..dont worry mai so jaata hoon apne xabin ke sofe
pe.."nidhi was adamant.."nahi..mai aapko fresh dekhna chahti
hoon..chaliye ghar jaayiye..aur aap meri baat nahi maanenge to phir ye bhi nahi
maanega..."n the baby yelled..as nidhi rocked him..ashu got up to tie
nidhi's gown ..n took the baby..he seemed to pout again..n when ashu kissed
him..a big grin appeared...ashu found it difficult to hide his tears...tears of
joy..Nidhi too smiled..seeing the father son..together..this was the ultimate
bliss..seeing her ashutosh..a fulfilled man..enjoying his childhood...
Ashutosh handed over the baby,patted nidhi
n told the nurse to inform him if there was any problem...n looking at
nidhi..once more..he turned homewards..
As armaan opened the door..ashu
entered.."arre ashu..tu..wah..welcome.."n kaka rushed in with
water..n asked"chai peeoge..adrak wali"??n ashu smiled..as the three
sat sipping tea..ashu couldnt help recalling the umpteen times when he n nidhi
had shared tea..the bond of their love seemed to have been catalysed by
tea...At dinner baba informed ashu"choti si pooja ka intezaam kar diya hai..bas
ghar ke log honge..mai jaanta hoon..achcha nahi lagega tujhe nidhi ke
bina..par...phir karenge bada function..mere pote ka...aur haan..bus apne liye
ek naya kurta pyjama..aur baby ke liye..peele kapde le lena..ok"??ashu
nodded..n then looked at armaan.."kal aa jaana..ab allowed hai milna..teri
maggi friend..yaad karti hai.."n armaan smiled..n spoke"bechari
bachchi..kya kya zulm seh rahi hai..doodh peeyo..green veggieskhaao..hey
ashu..thoda maggi le aaon..uske liye.."ashutosh gave a glance to armaan
that froze him..n he said"oye mujhe paagal samjha hai kya...bas milne
aaoonga..'"
Ashutosh entered their bedroom..so big n
lonely without nidhi...but he smiled as he thought it was just a matter of days
before his nidhi n their baby would arrive..n fill up the vacuum in the
home..just as the vacuum in his life had been filled..Ashutosh bathed n
changed..n before sleeping,peeped into the nursery..it needed more of
blue...ashu quietly foldedthe pink frocks..n hair pins away..lest nidhi d get
after him for...he smiled..n sighed..then he looked at the lovely toys..the
pink teddy..he picked it up ..put it in the cradle n rocked it...
Ashu called up kgh to find out nidhi's
welfare..n was informed all was well..n she had slept about20 mins back after
feeding the baby..ashu ..stood in front of thier wedding photo...as he
reflected ..how they had yearned to be together...how they had braved all the
storms...n now this bliss..ashu touched nidhi's picture...trying to feel her..n
then he finally offed the light n slept...his tired limbs unable to stand the
strain any longer...
Next morning,he reached the hospital
early..to be told by the dr on duty that both mother n child were fine but..the
baby had kept nidhi awake after 3 a.m demanding repeated feeds..n she had just
slept...ashu went into the nursery..n as he looked the baby seemed to
gurgle..as if telling him to pick him up...ashu lifted him..n held him..close
to his heart...while ashu savoured the moment..the baby seemed too active for
such quiet moments..he wriggled n kicked..n finally ashu asked him"kya
baat hai..bhai..mummy ki tarah yak yak karni hai..."??n the baby pouted!!!
After his surgery,ashutosh wanted to visit
nidhi but was told..she was being sponged..so he took time out to quickly
shop..a lovely yellow baby suit with cap..n a yellow chunni ..also a white
kurta pyjama...when he returned..he finally met nidhi.."tumse to milna
mushkil ..."n he looked up to see nidhi's eyes full of tears..'"arre
kya hua..dard hai.."he said holding her face in his hands...nidhi shook
her head n said"nahi..bus aapki bahut yaad aa rahi thi..subah se nahi
dekha aapko..."and she let the tears flow..as ashutosh hugged her... The
two had dinner together...n then ashu said.."subah baby ko le
jaaoonga..kuch der ko..theek na"??nidhi smiled n nodded..
In the morning,ashu had his bath,packed
diapers n the yellow baby suit,mustard sweater n cap n left for the
hospital..as baba n armaan were busy with pooja arrangements..baba
asked"beta ghar decorate karwa le"ashu refused"nahi baba..jab nidhi
aayegi..tab.."baba smiled...As ashutosh reached the hospital..he went to
the baby..n kissed him..then as the nurse asked for the clothes to change
him..ashutosh said"let me manage sisiter.."n he carefully changed the
diaper..remembering the moment when nidhi had made him do it for that child in
the hospital...n carefully dressed him..n the cap was certainly the icing on
the cake..ashutosh looked dashing in his kurta pyjama..spotless white n the
baby..all yellow..as they entered nidhi's room..nidhi looked at her blue
hospital gown...n then at the two.."aap dono kitne achche lag rahe
hain..nazar na lag jaaye.."ashutosh gave the baby to her..as she fed
him..n then..ashu looked deep into nidhi n said"humari sachchi pooja tabhi
hogi..jab tum aaogi..we will miss you today..bus abhi gaya..aur abhi
aaya..."n ashutosh looked at nidhi..a little low n lonely...he had to make
up for it...
Armaan ran n opened the car door as driver
stopped the car n ashutosh n the baby emerged..the pooja was ready..dadibua got
all the recitals done n then the sacred thread was tied to ashu n baby..n the
teeka..the baby seemed tolook all the more beautiful ..n did not mind the
attention being showered on him..ashutosh got up as the pooja ended,touched
solankis,cv,db n baba's feet n said.."mai chalta hoon..nidhi wait kar rahi
hogi..humara"..n anji interrupted "jeejaji..baby ko nursery to dikha
deejiye..."as she extended her arms to take him..Ashu stopped her"no
anji...the pooja was done ..sirf baba aur dadibua ki khushi ke liye...baby ghar
me tabhi aayega..jab ..uski mummy aayegi.."...
Ashutosh entered the hospital n straight
away went to nidhi's room..the sisters were helping her stand...n walk...They
saw dr ashitosh ..n ashutosh held nidhi with one arm as he had the baby in the
other..He made nidhi sit..n as she cuddled the baby..with tears in her
eyes..she had been clearly missing the pooja..ashutosh..brought his forehead
close to hers ..to imprint the teeka..on her forehead..n then took out the
beautiful yellow chunni n covered her head...he came close n clicked the three
of them in his cell..AB HUI NA PICTURE COMPLETE...said ashutosh as he held on
to all he had...all he had ever desired to have...his nidhi..n their baby...???
TAARON SE YE MAANG SAJAA DOON..
HOTON PE EK PHOOL KHILA DOON
TERE LIYE SAARI DUNIYA BHULA DOON
MEHKEGA SAARA..GULSHAN HUMARA..DIL KA
SAHAARA BAAHE TERI
KHUSHI SE HARIBHARI HOGI,YE DUNIYA TERI
MERI HOGI
EK PHOOL KHILEGA..BAINYON ME..
SARSE SARKI...SARKI CHUNARIYA...
as nidhi's yellow chunni slipped to cover
all of them...
On the 9 february..ashutosh was on leave..he
came to meet nidhi..but she was asleep so he wrote a message n left it on her
bedside I AM VERY BUSY TODAY..WILL MEET IN THE EVENING..APPOINTMENT WITH
SUDHIR..TAKE CARE.. Nidhi wondered where he was..but was too preoccupied with
the baby..n his feeds,just as the sister finished teaching nidhi how to bathe
the baby..entered armaan..
"Arre armaan ji aap..ab aayee meri
yaad..jaaiye mai nahi boloongi..aapse..bus bhateeje se baat kariye.."nidhi
pouted...as armaan laughed"tujhe pata hai..kitni yaad ayi teri...ek bar
bhi maggi nahi khaayee jubse tu hospital aayee..."n both smiled n hugged
eachother..."bus ab tu ghar aaja..is motu ko leke..."said armaan as
he took the baby...n then turning serious ,he said"jaanti hai nidhi..jab
tu serious thi...lagta tha ashu ekdum toot jaayega..."nidhi smiled...she
knew..how dr ashutosh must have suffered to see her in pain...but now where was
he..nidhi pouted..as she n baby both missed him
***********************
Dr ashutosh paid the florists,for
decorating the house n also the electricians who had convered the mathur niwas
with fairy lights..He came in n saw everything was fine..just then the maid
agency representative arrived..as ashutosh had applied for a full time maid..n
lo!!it was none other than maxi...!!!ashutosh was a little taken aback..but
maxi understood the dynamics..as she was in the hospital with mallika when
nidhi had walked out...as ashutosh tensed up..maxi smiled n said"sir me
here...worry not there..nidhi madam ko koi taqleef nahi hogi..n no past
bakbak..i know...plz sir ..mujhe job ki zuroorat hai"ashu smiled..as he
introduced maxi to kaka n was glad that she touched kaka's feet..
Maxi cleaned the nursery thoroughly..n
ashutosh..decorated it again..he had bought blue sheets,blue dresses..even blue
wall paper..with colourful baloons.. n more soft toys...Baba came in n
laughed.."kya ashu..chalne ke liye to jagah chod de...aur naam..socha
"??ashu smiled n said"baba...main chahta hoon..ki..ki..usse woh sab
kuch mile..."n baba n ashu looked at each other...baba understanding the
pains of ashu's lonely childhood...n ashu realising that each time he talked of
his pain..he hurt baba..who had done all he could for his ashu...
****************************
In the evening,dr ashutosh reached k.g.h. n
as heentered nidhi's room...she was walking around..the baby in her
arms...crooning to him..kissing him..ashutosh just stood transfixed at the door
as he looked at his world...n then he came closer n hugged nidhi...not letting
her move away.."kahaan the aap..din bhar tarasti rahi..aapke liye.."n
the baby cried..as if trying to express his anger..t being neglected..nidhi
smiled n said"dekhiye..mera competitor...leejiye isse..."n ashutosh
smiled as he took the baby..n patted his back..Nidhi told him that she had
learnt how to bathe the baby..ashu held her hand n said"hey
sweetheart..zyaada strain nahi..maid aa gayee hai full time..kaho to kuch din
ko chote sarkar ko bhi bula lete hain"nidhi smiled...and then dr ashutosh
called the nurse n handed her the baby..as dr sudhir was expected..ashutosh
looked at nidhi n asked"tell me kaisa feel kar rahi ho..bleeding to band
hai ab?"nidhi replied"haan..bas pain hai..post
delivery.."ashutosh nodded...n put his arm around nidhi..realising she
still neede time to recover..but he was glad to have her..safe..n in his
arms..n now he d never risk her life ..ever...
**********************************
Dr sudhir entered n patted
nidhi.."kaisi hai little girl"??nidhi smiled..as sudhir proceeded to
check her up..saw her reports in detail n then spoke to both ashutosh n
nidhi.."i hope both of you realize that nidhi has escaped virtual
death...she has been v lucky..now nidhi..as you r quite young,your recovery is
quite commendable..uterus seems to be healing..but the birth canal tear is
still there..n you both have to be careful..ashutosh,she can move around in the
house..but no driving..strain padega abdomen pe..n nidhi do you plan to feed
the baby..ya formula feed"??nidhi looked at ashutosh n said"no,sir
..breast feed karoongi..i dont plan to join work for a year or
two.."ashutosh looked at her..his nidhi..always ready to make
sacrifices..that too with a smile..Dr sudhir contd."then ashutosh,she
needs a v special diet..milk n proper meals..with cottage cheese..i will give
you the full chart..n yes ashutosh ,the last but not the least..she is still
tender out there..so no penetrative sex for now..not till nidhi is over with
her next menstrual cycle...n yes no pregnancy ..as of now..at least..n ashutosh..you
need to be v responsible about this..i hope you understand..."Ashutosh
nodded n clasped sudhir's hands n both thanked him profusely..finally sudhir
bade bye saying"n yes ..nidhi can go home tomorrow..net checkup after 10
days..n god bless all three of you"
***************************************
That night ashutosh could not sleep..at 44
,he felt like a schoolboy ..expecting his high school results..he got up n
checked the nursery many times over,cleaned nidhi's wardrobe himself..n was all
dressed up at 7 a.m.baba n armaan smiled..armaan said"yaad hai aspko
baba..jab nidhi shaadi ke agle din ghar gayee thi apne..to kaise chala gaya tha
peeche peeche.."n baba laughed as ashu turned pink in embarrassment..
In the hospital ,nidhi had packed everything,the
baby had been bathed n was in a dark purple baby suit n a white sweater..As
ashutosh entered ,nidhi greeted.."we are ready"..n ashu loved the WE
in it..he paid the bill n then took the baby in his arms..with the other arm
around nidhi..he got them into the gallery..as nidhi said bye to dr
ranganath..n then looked at dr ashutosh.."jee..one minute..plz"n she
took both the father n son into dr ashutosh's cabin...
Dr ashutosh too..was overwhelmed to have
his son in the cabin..where he n nidhi had seen their love grow...n
strengthen..nidhi leaned on ashutosh's arm as she recalled how during their
separation..she n ashutosh had looked at eachother with yearning..n
pain..ashutosh put his cheek to her hand...n whispered"hey doc..yeh bhi
mera coat pehnega kya"?!!!!!!n nidhi smiled..
As the car entered mathur niwas..armaan was
ready to welcome them...The flowers that adorned the facade..looked
lovely..ashutosh had got nidhi's favourites...red roses..As the three reached
the threshold.."rukko..rukko.."cried baba..as kaka n baba got the
arti..n baba smiled n said"beta..kyunki koi airat to hai nahi ..parivaar
me ..is liye mai hi karoonga apne pote ki arti..."nidhi could not control
her tears as they entered n baba said"la beta..mujhe god me to de...mera
pota..aaj ghar aaya...dr mathur ki zindagi nihaal ho gayee..."thank you
nidhi..thank you meri bachchi.."nidhi touched baba n kaka's feet..as they
got talking"dekh heeraman..ab isse hum dono paalenge..ek thum badhiya
se...ashu se bhi brilliant hoga..isse u.s bhejenge padhne..."n then
looking up at nidhi he said"tu apni job join kar le..isse mai aur hiraman
paal lenge...""ARRREEE MAIN BHI TO HOON..SAMDHIJI"cried
dadibua..as she entered with loads of toys n clothes..."bhai..daaktar..man
ki muraad poori kar di..ab to bas.."ashu smiled "ab aur kya
dadibua"??.."ab to bas chote sarkaar ki shaadi ho
jaaye..."completed col verma...n every one laughed...Ashutosh put his arm
around nidhi n got his wife n son into the bedroom...Nidhi was mesmerised to see
the pictures of their..sangeet..honeymoon..n then her pregnancy..."yreh
kyun.."??..."taaki isse bhi to humaari kahani pata chale...raja aur
titli ki..."as nidhi looked into ashu's eyes..baby cried..."oh time
for the feed"n nidhi looked for a proper place..ashu got them to the nursery..all
shades of blue...n made nidhi sit on the comfortable chair..as she struggled
with her kurta.."plz hold kariye..mai change karti hoon"n she
returned in a new blue gown..sat n opened her buttons to release the fountain
of milk...as the baby suckled...ashu..came with his violin..n began to
play...CHANDA HAI TU..MERA SOORAJ HAI TU..O MERI AANKHON KA TAARA HAI TU...
The baby was asleep n slowly nidhi put him
in his crib...covered him with the lovely blue quilt with a mickey mouse
motiff..n rocked the crib...as ashu got her to their room..leaving the
connecting door open..As nidhi sat on their bed and ashu took her face in his
hands...she said"dr ashutosh..vishwaas nahi ho rahaa..apni kismat
par..."ashu..kissed her eyes n said"sshhh..meri kismat to tum ho..aur
mujhe meri kismat oar poora bharosa hai..."
**************************In the night
dadibua returned with col verma n ashutosh got nidhi n the baby outside to show
mathur niwas glittering in lights..."wow"nidhi was
overwhelmed.."aapne to poora ghar jagmaga diya..."ashu looked into
those eyes n then at the baby..n said.."nidhi,tumne to mera ghar..meri
dil..meri zindagi sab roshan kar diya...thank you ..nidhi..thank you so so
much"
JHILMIL SITAARON KA AANGAN HOGA..RIMJHIM
BARASTA SAAWAN HOGA...
KAISA SUNDAR SAPNA APNA JEEVAN HOGA..
It had been three days since nidhi n the
baby had come home..dadibua had been visiting each day n shyama aunty had also
come..baba was preparing for a big function of namkaran of the baby..dr
ashutosh had started going to the hospital..though he did try to come back
early...life was rosy..nidhi too seemed to be getting better each day...
On the dinner table,baba asked ashutosh n
nidhi.."bhai parson naamkaran hai..sab taiyyariyaan ho gayeen par naam kab
choose karoge??panditji ne kaha hai A aur Nse naam ko"ashu n nidhi looked
at each other...n ashu finally spoke "baba naam to decided hai...at least
pet name NISHU...NIDHI KA NI AUR ASHUTOSH KA SHU..kaisa hai"??as ashu n
nidhi looked at baba..he had tears in his eyes..as he
murmured"lovely..isse achcha to kuch ho hi nahi sakta..nishu..nishu...ashu
nidhi ka..nishu...waah!!".."baba aapko nahi lagta..is naam me
shu..shu.. bahut hai..bechaara..kitne nappies badlega..shu shu ke"quipped
in armaan ..as nidhi laughed n tried to throw water at him..baba finally
restored order n said"koi school ka naam socha..i mean baby ka formal
name"??ashu nidhi both shook their heads to say no n then nidhi
asked"baba aap kuch bataaiye na"baba smiled n said"ATEET kaisa rahega,..akhir
ye bachcha..tum dono ke guzre kal ki..tumhari yaadon ki dor hai..ashutosh nidhi
ke ateet ka saakshi hai...aur tumhara aane wala kal bhi hai..aur ateet ki neev
par hi to bhavishya ka nirmaan hota hai...so mera suggestion hai ATEET..ATEET
MATHUR..par agar tumhe achcha lage to..."nidhi looked at ashutosh..n
spoke..finding it difficult to control her emotions"jee baba..ateet..yad
dilaayega..hume hamaare guzre hue lamho ki..humari jaddojahad ki..humare
bichadne aur milne ki...isse achcha naam koi ho hi nahi sakta...thank you
baba.."ashutosh nodded"jee baba..aapka faisla sir aankhon
par..ateet..lovely"armaan spoke"baba ..mera ek aur suggestion
hai..ateet se bhi achcha..ADRAK WALI CHAI...thoda lamba
hai..par...ouuuch"laughed armaan as ashu pulled his ears...
Dr ashutosh was leaving for the hospital
the next day..n as he came into the room after breakfast..he hugged nidhi n
said"sweet heart khayal rakhna..apni medicines kha lena...aur khaana
bhi..n try to catch up some sleep..thaki lag rahi ho..."nidhi smiled n put
her head on his chest.."raat ko aapka beta..sone nahi deta..."ashu
looked concerned"nidhi bottle feed shuru karein..woh to main ya maxi bhi
pila sakte hain,.."nidhi shook "nahi...woh..mera doodh hi peeyega..i
like it..i want it...bas"ashu smiled n pecked her..n then came into the
nursery to look at the sleeping nishu..."ateet...baba ne behtareen naam
diya..kyun"??he looked at nidhi.."jee..i hope yeh ateet..aapke ateet
ki sab dukhbhari andheri yaadon ko mita dega..."ashutosh took a deep
breath"nidhi..tumne meri zindagi badal di...maine socha na tha..ki mera
akelapan aise gaayab ho jaayega...meri veeran zindagi me koi itne rang
bharega...aur tumhari..aur iski muskuraahton me mai sab guzre dard bhool
jaaoonga...thank you nidhi...thank you once again"n nidhi smiled..adjusted
his tie n said"bas bas..bahut shaayeri ho gayee..ab kuch surgery bhi kar
leejiye"
After ashutosh left..nidhi told maxi to
arrange their bedroom n hall as she came into armaan's room..a complete messshe
sighed..then smiled n began to tidy his things..separated his dirty clothea
from the clean ones..stacked his shorts..pants..sweaters n then opened the
drawer to clean it..there was an old envelope..nidhi peeped in there were
photos n nidhi took them out..photos of a lovely girl..laughing..she had long
hair..beautiful..v beautiful eyes...Nidhi was spellbound..just then armaan
entered from the washroom n saw...all"nidhi..ye kya kar rahi
ho..."said armaan..n nidhi answetred with a naughty glint"aap
bataaiye armaanji aap kya kar rahe hain..ye kaun hai..itni sundar..jab photo
sambhaal ke rakh sakte hain to shaadi kyun nahi kar sakte..."?..."yeh
tumhe jaan na zuroori nahi "said armaan as he pulled the photos n sealed
them..nidhi said"main abhi aunty ko phone karti hoon..ki woh shaadi ki
taiyyari karen..""stop it nidhi..ye nahi ho
sakta,...".."kyun nahi armaanji...uske papa mummy ko problem
hai...hum manna lenge..."armaan brooded as nidhi pestered"aakhir kyun
nahi shaadi kar sakti woh aapse"????"KYUNKI MARE HUE LOG SHAADI NAHI
KARTE..."said armaan as a stunned nidhi listened...armaan went on"ye
naina hai..meri naina..hum bachpan se jaante the ek doosre ko..college me
bhi..we had decided to marry..parr..."armaan turned towards the
window..."naina beemaar ho gayee...aur kabhi theek hi nahi hui..she had lymphoma...saath
tha mai uske jab...jab woh..aakhri saanse le rahi thi..meri baahon me dum tora
usne...naina..naina..."nidhi wwas dumbfounded..she came n put a hand
around armaan...so much pain ..so much sorrow..behind this jolly face...armaan
was quiet..nidhi spoke"phir...uske baad"??armaan smiled"uske
baad..ashu ne mujhe sambhala...woh nahi hota..to mai bhi mar jata...aur
zindagi..,woh to kabhi rukti hi nahi..".."aapne itne
barson..me...phir kisi se..."armaan looked at her n smiled"nidhi..naina
ko gaye pundrah saal ho gaye..lekin mere liyewoh hai...mere saath...mere
paas...i cant even think of anyone else.."nidhi
murmured"koshish..kariye..dobara jeene ki".."nidhi..mai theek
hu..khush bhi hu..bas pyaar nahi kar sakta..kisi aur se..KTUNKI NIDHI..PYAAR ZINDAGI
ME BAS EK BAAR HOTA HAI...USKE BAAD JO HOTA HAI..WOH SAMJHAUTA HOTA HAI..AUR
MAI SAMJHAUTA NAHI KARNA CHAHTA..."n armaan walked out,..leaving a shocked
nidhi...
In the evening when dr ashutosh came..nidhi
asked him"aapne mujhe kyu nahi bataaya...armaanji aur naina ke baare
me"??ashutosh was shocked"tumhe kaise..."nidhi told him
everything n sobbed...ashu patted her n said"nidhi..armaan naina ko
discuss nahi karna chahta,...isiliye nahi bataaya kabhi..thats his grief...his
life"nidhi wiped her tears"his life..matlab kya...humaare
dost..humare bhaai jaise hain armaanji..unhe khush..rakhna..humaari duty
hai...ab dekhna aap...".."hey nidhi dont try to force him into a
marriage..nahi karega woh,."nidhi replied"jaanti hoon..woh kisi aur
ke bare me nahi soch sakte...par humaari khushiyaan to baant sakte
hain..."ashu smiled...his nidhi could shoulder pains of the world...
At dinner time armaan was his usual
self"nidhi..kya pehnega mera bhateeja apne naamkaran me...bhai designer
jhable banwata hoon.."n all laughed...Nidhi said"armaanji..function
me you r the boss..menu guest list decoration sab aap decide
kariye..."armaan winked"par bill to ashu dega na"???n baba
laughed n said"beta bill to mai doonga..kitni mushkilon se khila hai ye
phool...mere ghar me..."
At night nidhi fed nishu n rocjed him to
sleep..it was12 n she was dead tired..ashu put the quilt on her..n patted
her...she had become so patient after nishu was born..was coping up so
well...ashu looked at her..as she tried to sleep..he put his arms around her..n
she looked at him..ashu patted her n put his fingers to close her eyes...he
knew what she wanted..he too desired her..but it was not possible n advisable
medically..he sighed n withdrew his arm..n tried to sleep..At about 1.30 nishu
cried again..n ashutosh was awake..he looked for nidhi as he got up...only to
find her already in the nursery...cuddling nishu n feeding him"arre tum
uth gayee..tumhaari neend to itni pakki thi"ashu recallled how nidhi had
overslept after their honeymoon n how infuriated he had been...nidhi
smiled..reading his thoughts "dr ashutosh..tab mai ek nayi..college se
nikli ladki thi...jisse apni zimmedaariyan samajh nahi aati thi..ab mai ek maa
hoon..aur jab maa bani hoon..to apne bachche ki har aahat har awaaz pehchanti
hoon...ab meri neend..iski bhookh pyaas se bandhi hai..."ashu..could not
find words..he just came n sat..quietly drinking the image of a child n
mother...the most intimate n selfless relationship...he had not enjoyed
it...but he found it v fulfilling to see his son savour it...n nidhi..she
played every role to perfection...Nidhi's touch got him back from his
thoughts...nishu was back in his crib..fast asleep..ashutosh n nidhi came to
their room ...ashu looked at nidhi n said"nidhi..sab sochte hain..is
rishte ko maine sambhala hai..par sach to yeh hai..ki tum ho is rishte ki
jaan..tumne mere ghar me hur rishte ko sambhala hai...baba ki bahu..armaan ki
dost..nishu ki maa..."nidhi interrupted"aur
aapki...".."mera sabkuch..mere sapno me rang bharnewaali..meri
huqueeqat kosanwaarne waali...meri zindagi badalne waali..mere makaan ko ghar
banane wali...tum hi to ho meri..subkuch..meri zindagi bhi aur zindagi ka
sahaara bhi...meri akeli kamzori bhi..aur sabse badi taaquat bhi..tum ho to
main hoon...tumhaare bina main kuch nahi..kuch bhi nahi..."and nidhi..held
ashu's face in her hands n kissed him..on the forehead..whispering.."dr
ashutosh..mera wajood...meri duniya aap hain...sirf aap..."n both looked
towards the nursery n smiled"aur humara..ateet"
It was the night before the naamkaran..the
family sat for dinner,baba asked"ashu,sab taiyaariyaan to ho gayeen..kuch
aur special chahiye ..kya"??ashutosh smiled n looked at nidhi n baba n
said"nahi baba,..mujhe aur kuch bhi nahi chahiye..."
In the night nidhi was feeding nishu..as
ashutosh looked at them..n as nishu fell asleep,ashutosh took him into his arms
n put him in his crib...both nidhi n ashu seemed to look at each other as nidhi
sat ...her gown still open..ashu could read the deep desire in her eyes...he
had a strong surge of passion but he knew restrain was essential..he came close
...as nidhi got up n sought his lips,ashutosh did not give a full blown
response..he gave a kiss..n withdrew to tie her gown..n then
spoke"nidhi..bas kuch din...aur..barely 3 weeks...usse pehle risk nahi le
sakta...cant put you through any more pain...plz samjho jaan"n as he
patted her cheek...nidhi just looked at him..yearning for proximity...but as
ashu settled in bed,nidhi tried to digress her mind..n prepared for the
morrow,she took out a yelow jhabla n an orange sweater..a yellow sari with
siver stars for herself n then asked dr ashutosh "aap kya pehnenge..suit
ya kurta pyjama"?ashutosh looked at her affectionately n said"jo tum
kahogi.."nidhi smiled..how dr hardstone had melted...she took out a new
white pyjma kurta n a brown shawl for him...n then came to bed...with a sigh
she switched off the lights..
In the morning as nishu awoke,nidhi gave
him his feed..n then as she was going to call maxi for helping her in bathing
the baby,ashutosh spoke"chalo aaj mai help karoonga..."n he undressed
nishu..as nidhi..quite amused readied the water with the right temperature..and
ashu held nishu in the bath tub as nidhi poured water n bathed the baby..nishu
seemed to love water n enjoyed as nidhi put soap on his tiny fingers n fat
hands n legs...though he was only 15 days he looked about a month n a half..as
nidhi poured the last mug n ashu lifted him...the baby caught ashu's shirt...as
if saying"papa..mujhe girana mat..."ashu understood the survival instinct
of the lil nishu n held him really close...close to a father's heart..On the
bed,nidhi quickly applied the baby oil...n ashu put the diaper n dressed him
up...kissing him once more..as nidhi looked on..As nidhi was getting
ready..ashutosh came n gave her a box of earrings..."tumne mujhe itna bada
gift diya...this is a small return gift"nidhi opened the box...solitairre
tops..large n lovely..they seemed to light up the entire room..nidhi
said"itna mehnga gift dene ki kya zuroorat thi"??ashutosh put his
hand around her waist n said"tumne mujhe jo diya hai..woh anmol hai...ye
to kuch bhi nahi...aur nidhi..mai baar baar keh nahi paata per i love you..more
n more each day..."n as he sensed nidhi enjoying his touch...his fingers
on her bare waist...he withdrew..with a peck on the forehead...Nidhi kissed the
earrings n wore them..
Ashutosh nidhi with nishu in ashu's arms
emerged in the hall..baba armaan n kaka were already dressed up.The lovely
shaamiyaana with cartoon motiffs,balloons n a lovely floral arcade was ready..nidhi
could not control her joy n said"wow armaanji..its lovely..thank
you"armaan showed them the sweet packets n return gifts..all beautifully
packed with a pic of ashu nidhi n nishu..it was just perfect..armaam took n7shu
in his arms n put tiny gold nazariyaas on his wrists..n baba handed ashutosh a
roll of papers..ashu was surprised as he opened them..baba had transferred all
his property,cash,fixed deposits..amounting to about 4 crores in nishu's
name..with ashutosh as the guardian..Ashu was shocked"baba ye kyun..aapne
to mujhe sabkuch diya..ab iski kya zuroorat thi..."baba held ashutosh n
said"ashu..tum sab hi to mera parivaar..paise ka mai kya kaoonga...aur
bete tune aur nidhi ne to mera ghar khushiyon se bhar diya.."taking nishu
in his arms baba said"dr mathur..aaj nihaal ho gayaa..."
The guests started coming,colonel verma
,dadibua,chote sarkaar,solankis,dr ranganath,khushi..dr dubey..in all 100 odd
guests..All showered choicest gifts on nishu..as dr ashutosh carried him in his
arms...looking stunning..in spotless kurta pyjama.a brown shawl...greying side
burns...yet devastatingly handsome..nidhi n the others looked at the father son
duo..so complete in eachother's company..ashutosh feeling his dreams
fulfilled..holding his blood connect..something he had yearned for...n the lil
nishu..chubby n lovely..so secure in the strong arms of his father..
Panditji called ashu n nidhi for the
pooja.ashutosh sat with nishu in his arms..n as nidhi sat..to his left..he
looked at her..love brimming in his eyes..nidhi recalled the moments in their
marriage mandap...when their union had got a social sanction...ptji put a teeka
on nishu n he seemed to dislike it..as he pouted n ashu raised an eyebrow n
gave a killing smileto nidhi..ptji recited shlokas n blessed the baby..then
said"bachche ke dada ko bulaaiye"baba came n stood woth his hands on
ashu n nidhi's heads..as the priest sprinkled holy waters..ashutosh looked at
col verma...n said"ptji..nana aur par nani..."ptji
declined"jajmaan..bachche ka ghar aur gotra pita se hota hai...nana ka koi
mahatva nahi..."ashu seemed adamant.."ptji..unke bina ye pooja adhuri
hai..unki beti ..patni hai meri...aaiye plz..col verma.dadi bua"n baba
called shyama aunty also n ptji had no option!!!The hawan started n as it
became smoky..ashu handed a restless nishu to maxi..n dadibua took him from
her..the smoke made nidhi cough badly n her wounds hurt..as she whispered
"ouch"ashu looked at her..concerned..n then as he held her
hand..nidhi seemed uncomfortable ..ashu spoke firmly"ptji,plz jaldi
krejiye..meri patni kasht me hai..."n nidhi seemed to admonish him through
her eyes...
As the pooja got over ,ashutosh n baba
themselves took all the guests for the lavish lunch..n as the guests dined
ashutosh n nidhi made it a point to talk to each one..Dr dubey blessed lil
nishu n said"bhagwan ise ashutosh ki tarah brilliant aur nidhi ..teri
tarah chanchal banaye..."n then looking at ashutosh he said"jaanta
hai ashutosh,jab mujhe pata chala tha ki nidhi se shaadi ki hai tumne..to mujhe
dayaa aayee thi tumpe..lekin ab faqr hota hai...you r v lucky...bas..nidhi hai
shaitaan!!!"nidhi laughed and spoke"sir agar nishu bhi mujh pe
gayaa...to aapke paas bhej denge..sudhaariyega isse..jaise mujhe sudhara
aapne..."ashu smiled as dr dubey put his hand on nidhi's head...
Colonel verma came n hugged dr ashutosh and
said.."dr ashutosh..sachmuch ye mera saubhagya hai..ki aap mere daamaad
hain...we are blessed to have you..."baba
interjected.."colonel..damaad to mera bhi bahut achcha hai..par waqt rehte
mai..uski quadr nahi kar paaya..."colonel verma was overwhelmed...holding
baba's hands ,he said'"dr mathur..aapki hi naseehat ne hume galti dohraane
se bachaaya..warna hume dr ashutosh jaisa daamaad kaise
milta...".."aur nishu kaise aata..aur yeh party kaise hoti.."said
chote sarkaar..n everyone laughed..Anji n dr ranganath came to say bye n nidhi
handed a big gift of dresses n a school bag to khushi..anji smiled n
said"jeejaji ,party to bahut achchi thi par...aapka aur nidhi ja dance to
reh hi gayaa..."n ashutosh just laughed..
After the guests had gone,dr ashutosh came
in with nishu,while nidhi helped armaan to wind up things.baba called heeraman
kaka..gave him a beautiful warm shawl n an
envelope..saying"heeraman..tumne ashu ko paala hai..is ghar par bahut
ehsaan hain tumhaare...ehsaanmand hoon me tumhaara..ab nishu ko bhi dekhna
hai..."heeraman smiled..a silent man..but he had indeed seen all moods n
seasons of dr ashutosh..Then baba gave gifts to maxi n chote sarkaar who had
stayed back to help,thereafter sweets n gifts were sent to jeevan sandhya..n
the poor kids at the temple...
Finally when nidhi opened the door of her
bedroom..she was surprised to hear dr ashutosh sing in his velvet..baritone
voice..as he cuddled nishu n played with him..sitting on the bed with..all the
soft toys around..
TUJHE SOORAJ KAHOON YA CHANDA,TUJHE DEEP
KAHOON YA TAARA..
MERA NAAM KAREGA ROSHAN,JUG ME MERA
RAJDULAARA..
MAIN KABSE TARAS RAHA THA ,MERE AANGAN ME
KOI KHELE
NANHI SI HANSI KE BADLE..MERI SAARI DUNIYA
LE LE..
TERE SANG SANG JHOOM RAHA HAI..MERI BAAHON
ME JAG SAARA..
(Nidhi watched..spellbound..as dr ashutosh
held lil nishu in his arms..trying to bring him close to the toys..his eyes
brimming with joy..a fulfilling sense of ecstacy..nishu looked up at his
father..n ashutosh rubbed his nose against his..son's..n continued to
serenade..)
AAJ UNGLI THAAM KE TERI TUJHE MAIN CHALNA
SIKHLAOON
KAL HAATH PAKADNA ..MERA JAB MAI BOODHAA HO
JAAOON..
TU MILA TO MAINE PAAYA JEENE KA NAYA
SAHAARA..
(ashutosh walked around the room with nishu
in his arms..as he stood in front of the photo of himself n baba..nishu being
reflected in the glass ..as nidhi could see the image of the three
generations..grandson,father n grandson...she was mesmerised..as ashu continued
to croon..as if to nishu's heart..nishu looked at his father as if he was
understanding everything...)
MERE BAAD BHI ISS DUNIYA ME ZINDA MERA NAAM
RAHEGA
JO BHI TUJHKO DEKHEGA ,TUJHE MERA LAAL
KAHEGA
TERE ROOP ME MIL JAAYEGAA MUJH KO JEEVAN
DOBAARA...
( as ashutosh stood in front of their
wedding photo..visualising the future...their old age..nishu's youth...nidhi
could not control the deluge of her emotions..n came n leaned on
ashu..."arre tum kab aayeen"asked ashu..nidhi ..looked at both of
them n said"plz..gaayiye na..."n ashutosh smiled ,held nishu in one
hand n put the other arm around nidhi's waist..and continued
TUJHE SOORAJ KAHOON YA CHANDA..TUJHE DEEP
KAHOON YA TAARA
MERA NAAM KAREGA ROSHAN JAG ME MERA
RAAJDULAARA...
n the symphony of thor love..the melody of
their devotion..the sweetness of their bliss continued to resonate in their
life...
It was proving to be a long night
indeed..ashutosh kept twisting n turning..on the sofa..knowing n realising
nidhi's insecurities but unable to communicate with her...that was one drawback
that still plagued ashutosh..he could not express his deep feelings..his love n
commitment to nidhi..as often as he should have..though there had been
occassions when he had gone out of his innate character ..even in front of
others..to bring joy to nidhi,..had danced with her..had told unequivocally
that she would be up there for him n no one could ever take her place...n yet
..yet...nidhi was insecure...n ashutosh wanted to reach out to her...to tell her
that she mattered the most for him...no one could ever take her place...but he
did not know how to...he had a
Lways been weak with words,could not speak
through touch..as he often did..n his nidhi was not understanding..the language
that was the cornerstone of their relationship...the language of
silence...Ashutosh felt miserable...as he could hear nidhi sobbing...
Nidhi too felt miserable...partly because
she was rattled..without ashutosh's reassuring touch...she did feel threatened
by nishu...the feeling that dr ashutosh would shower all his affections..all
his attention..only on his son...n she had done her job..given him the blood
connect that he wanted so badly...n now...she ...what was her place in his
life??yes he cared for her health...her family...but did he know how neglected
she was feeling...but deep within ..in heart of hearts..she was miserable
because she knew she had hurt her dr ashutosh...n was insecure that he may..in
his hurt ,close himself in his fortress...not looking at his titli ever
again..n this...this very thought of losing the anchor of her heart n life was
wrecking her...she too felt miserably helpless..not knowing how to reach out to
the raja before he retreated into the impenetrable fortress once again...
Dr ashutosh suddenly felt very thirsty n
got up to have a glass of water..from the jug by nidhi's side...as he touched
the glass...nidhi turned to look at him...her eyes red with tears...neither
could bear the agony..n they found it difficult to assess ..what was hurting each
more..their own pain or the partner's??Ashutosh sat by nidhi's bedside..n
looked into her eyes...nidhi had tears in those lovely lakes..but managed to
say"dr..dr ashutosh..."n ashutosh just held her hand...finally
mustering up the courage ..to dwell at what was not his forte..words..they were
needed..
"Nidhi..meri titli ke rangon ko kya
hua...aur uski muskan...raja bahut yaad karta hai...jaanti ho nidhi..raja aur
titli ki shaadi hui..quila to ghar ban hi gaya tha..ab wahan ek nanha sa pyara
sa rajkumar bhi aa gaya..titli aur raja ke pyaar ki nishaani...par titli kamzor
ho gayee thi..raja pyaar to karta tha par jata nahi paata tha...lekin titli ko
lagne laga ki uska raja usse nahi..rajkumar ko hi chahta
tha...jabki..jabki..."ashutosh gulped..as nidhi looked up..wanting for dr
ashutosh to continue.."sach to yeh hai ki raja ke dil me,uske zehan
me..sirf titli samaayee thi...woh jeeta tha to apni titli ke liye...aur marta
tha to bhi apni titli ke liye..."nidhi could not hear any longer..tears
flowing freely down her face,she hugged ashutosh..but ashutosh
continued"nahi nidhi...mujhe bolne do...aaj..yeh sach hai i dont come
close..but you know why...aur mai tumhari safety tumhari health nahi risk kar
sakta...but nidhi how can you ever think ..ki nishu ke aane se ..mai tumhe
neglect karne lagoonga...bolo??you know i am a man of few words...express nahi
kar paata hoon khud ko...apne pyaar ko..par...nishu poora zuroor karta hai
humaare rishte ko..par nidhi ,rishta humaara hai..woh phool khila hai humaare
pyaar ke darakht par...but yaad rakho nidhi..iski jadon ko maine aur tumne
seencha hai...woh ghar ka chiraag ho sakta hai..par us ghar ki neev tum ho..woh
mere jeene ka bahaana ho sakta hai..par meri zindagi tum ho..nidhi sirf
tum."...Nidhi could take it no longer.."please dr ashutosh..bass
kariye...paagal ho gayee thi mai...kya raja apni titli ko maaf nahi
karega??waapas apne kareeb nahi laayega"??ashutosh smiled"raja ki
zindagi to adhuri thi aur adhuri rahegi ..apni titli ke bina...par haan raja ki
titli bahut naazuk hai..uska khayaal to rakhna hi hoga..."n ashutosh
kissed nidhi on the forehead ..n as he withdrew ..nidhi held
him..."rukiye...aap to jal rahe hain...you have high fever...bataya kyun
nahi"?ashutosh held her hand..."tumhare dukh ke saamne apna dukh bhool
jaata hoon..."nidhi was in an overdrive..took the fever..103 F"oh my
god..high fever..viral hai..kya..kabse hai"?..."kuch nahi bas
calcutta mei thak gaya.."nidhi lowered her eyes...how hard he had worked
for saving col verma...
Nidhi got ice bandages n told ashutosh to
lie down..he smiled n asked"kahaan..bed ya sofa "??nidhi didnt say
anything..just held him n made him lie on the bed..made him open his mouth n
administered crocin...n then put the ice bandages..dr ashutosh moaned in
pain..as nidhi began to press his back..."nidhi..nahi karo..abdomen pe zor
padega..tumhari..plz dont..i am okay..bas sone do..theek ho
jaaoonga.."nidhi sat up the whole night..changing the ice packs,by 4.30 in
the morning fever came down to 101F ..nidhi had to get up..it was time for
nishu's feed..
As nidhi held nishu to her bosom..she
recalled ashu's words"nishu mere jeene ka bahaana ho sakta hai ..par meri
zindagi tum ho nidhi..sirf tum"n nidhi smiled...the clouds of self doubts
seemed to disappear as the sun of ashu's love shone..n nidhi kissed nishu with
all her love...just then ashutosh coughed violently...putting nishu into the
crib,she rushed to him..gave him water.."i feel medical specialist ko
bulaati hoon...khurana..dr khurana "
Nidhi came out n woke maxi,handed over nishu
to her as she woke up armaan"armaanji..uthiye plz..dr ashutosh ko bahut
bukhaar hai..plz dr khurana ko laana hoga,.,he doesnt drive.."armaan was
immediately awake..'"arre kaise bukhaar ho gaya..jaata hoon"baba also
got up due to the noise.."kya hua ashu ko.."nidhi calmed him..though
deeply disturbed herself"bukhaar hai baba..high fever n body ache..dr
khurana ko bula rahihoon"nidhi dialled dr khurana the medical specialist
of kgh n apprised him of the situation...armaan went to bring the doctor.
Nishu was crying loudly..probably disturbed
by the commotion n maxi could just not manage him...finally nidhi took nishu in
her arms n sat next to ashu..as he lay in fever...dr ashutosh opened his eyes
to look at nidhi..n murmured"paani nidhi"nidhi got up to bring water
n then with nishu in one arm held the glass to ashu's lips as he sat up
...moaning with body ache...nidhi looked worried..as she took the glass
away,ashutosh held her hand n said"dont worry,itni jaldi nahi
maroonga..."n nidhi was really livid.."khabardaar ,jo phir kabhi aisi
baat ki...aapki saanse meri saanso se bandhi hain..samjhe..."n ashu held
her hand in that characteristic ashutosh way,rubbing his thumb all over her
fingers...
Dr khurana came,baba n armaan also entered
the bedroom ..nishu had thankfully drifted into sound sleep .dr examined
ashutosh's lungs n felt his pulse..n then said"sir,you r having viral
fever..there is no cause of worry..however the body ache must be v
discerning..i can understand...anyway,..i m prescribing crocin 6 hourly n
levomax for 5 days..that will take care"baba was quite worried.."but
dr,why the antibiotic..when its viral"?...dr khurana smiled at the
father's concern n spoke"uncle..these days we give antibiotic cover in
viralto prevent infection from spreading...afterall dr ashutosh will play with
his baby..wonr he?secondly..it d prevent bacterial infection..."baba
looked convinced...armaan asked"i hope nothing to worry dr"?n dr
khurana smiled"not at all..by day after he should be absolutely fine..ok
dr nidhi ,take care..you look pale..dont worry boss is gonna be
fine"!!nidhi asked in a typically concerned wife way"dr what can he
eat"??n dr khurana laughed as ashutosh smiled n shook his head..khurana
answered"come on dr nidhi...you r a dr yourself...you know he can have
anything...vegetarian to hain hi aap log..so no worries..bus give him plenty of
fluids..."
Baba sat with ashu for about an
hour..checking his fever repeatedly...but as he began to doze in his
chair..nidhi requested him to go n sleep..."jaata hoon beta,par dhyaan
rakhiyo...isse bukhaar kam aata hai..par jab aata hai to analgesics asar nahi
karte kuch khaas..dekhna"nidhi nodded..once again mesmerised at the
intense beauty of this very special bond between father n son...she really
wished dr ashutosh would carve a similar bond with nishu...as the years slip
by...
Armaan got the medicines but ashu was
asleep,so nidhi did not disturb..she helped kaka n maxi in breakfast n made
porridge for dr ashutosh herself...kaka smiled..seeing the deep concern in her
eyes"chinta naa kar beti..theek ho jaayega...bukhaar me chaai bahut peeta
hai..bachpan se...chai aur bread"nidhi immediately decided to make the
same..
When she returned to the bedroom ,ashutosh
was talking over the phone with dr ranganath,telling him that he d remain on
leave for a day or two..but if there was an urgency...nidhi sighed n prayed..oh
god no emergency plz...she touched his forehead n took the fever..100.6 F ..so
he was better..ashutosh tried to get up but nidhi stopped him"kahaan jaa rahe
hain bukhaar me"??..."muh haath dhone..aur itna bukhaar to kissi ko
pata bhi nahi chalta ...agar tum nahi hoti...dr nidhi"exclaimed
ashu..."par mai to hoon...kya chahte hain..chali
jaaoon..kahin"??teased nidhi..Ashutosh looked at her..locking her eyes to
his"tum jaaogi..to meri saanse..unka kya hoga.."nidhi did not let him
complete..n said"chup chaap rahiye..aapki wife yahin sponge kar
degi..aapko..."n she went in to arrange for warm water,added cologne to it
and took two fresh hand towels...As she came back n set everything,ashutosh sat
up..."shirt utaariye.."n he simply raised his arms..nidhi took off
the tees..she began to sponge his bare torso ...rubbing his underarms..n
neck...just as her eyes met his...n both knew the page of memory...when nidhi
had sponged ashutosh in the hospital...after his accident..how nidhi..who had
been with him barely a few times had blushed...today it was dofferent...she
knew his body just as well as her own...n yet...touching him was
electric...ashu knew nidhi's thoughts..n caught her hands..."hey doc..ho
gaya sponge..remember i am dr hardstone...melt nahi karoonga..."n nidhi
blushed...he could read all her thoughts...no wonder he had been keeping
away..it was for her sake...he did everything for her sake...n she had blamed
him...as nidhi blinked her tears ashu kissed her eyes..n winked"bas..abhi
itna melt ho sakta hai hardstone."nidhi smiled n kissed him
back"quaafi hai..."
Dadi bua n col verma came to know of dr
ashutosh's illness n came to visit him..dadibua cut fruits n fed him with her
own hands...as col verma smiled...n said"dr ashutosh..plz rest
keejiye...aur haan bua ko le jaa raha hoon...warna..aapko fruit torture jhelte
rehna padega"!!!!
In the afternoon,after making ashutosh have
adrak wali chaai n bread..nidhi peeped at nishu ..fast asleep..n told
ashu"main nahaane jaa rahi hoon..."as nidhi went..nishu awoke..n his
yells filled the nursery..ashutosh got up n took him in his arms...rocked him
but he d just not quiten...probably he was hungry..ashu knocked at the washroom"nidhi..dekho
isse ,chup nahi ho raha..shayad feed lega.."n nidhi almost immediately
rushed out...in a bath robe ..hair all wet...n took nishu..who now seemed to
recognize both his parents...as she baby talked"kya baat hui...hungry hai
mera baby..mamma bad girl..sorry..."n opened her robe to expose her bosom
to nishu..who suckled hungrily.,.Ashutosh observed..nidhi's hair were
dripping..n she seemed to shiver..he got up n came with a towel..as nidhi tried
to protest..he said"shhh...tum apna kaam karo...mujhe apna karne do"n
he patted her hair dry as nidhi shifted nishu to the other breast ..dr ashutosh
kept looking at the duo ..n as nidhi arched her back..ashu asked"thak
gayeena..chalo nahaa ke so jaao..mai isse sulaata hoon"nidhi handed nishu
to his father n went to complete her bath...ashutosh held nishu to his chest
but the brat wanted him to move so he had to...smiling ..he looked at little
nishu..his eyes drooping with sleep..very much like his mother's...ashutosh
kissed him as he put him in the crib n came to his own bed..nidhi was changing
the sheet..ashu held her"chalo..ab late jaao..you cant take so muxh
strain...abhi 34 days he to hue hain delivery ko...chalo..ab tumhe sulaata
hoon"n as nidhi settled..on her side of the bed..ashutosh came closer n drew
her to his chest..,caressing her hair..patting..her..n his touch told nidhi he
cared for her...more than anything else in the world...n it was for her own
good that he was not going to yield...till she was fine..nidhi closed her
eyes..after feeling his forehead..cool n normal..almost..
She remembered their marriage
vows"sukh mei,dukh mei,beemaari mei..kamzori mei..har haal mei..saath
nibhaana...yes ..in health n in sickness..in joy n in sorrow..in life
n in death..they will remain inseparable..
As ashu held nidhi..where she truly
belonged..in his arms..he remembered a few lines of a song ..so apt for him n
nidhi..
DO PANCHI ,DO TINQUE KAHO LEKE CHALE HAIN
KAHAAN..
YEH BANAAYENGE EK AASHIYAAN..YE BANAAENGE
EK AASHIYAAN..
EK PHOOLON BHARI HO DAALI..AURR USS PAR HO
BASERA..
KUCH AISA HI MEETHA MEETHA HAI SAPNA TERA
MERA
YE SAPNA SACHCH HOGA KEH RAHI DHADKANO KI
ZUBAAN..
n he looked at nidhi..fast asleep..safe n
secure in his arms...ashu kissed her hair n looked towards the nursery..indeed
the titli had taught the raja how to dream..n turned their dreams into
reality...blissful reality...ashutosh closed his eyes..to dream on...
Nidhi got up from her sleep n found herself
to be still in ashutosh's arms..as he was still fast asleep,she quietly extricated
herself n touched his forehead...he seemed fine..Giving a loving look to dr
ashutosh...she went into the kitchen to helpkaka to organize sandwiches n
tea...just as chote sarkaar who was staying back to help kaka n maxi brought in
pressed clothes..maxi complained"madam..chote sarkar meri baat nahi
maanta..."cs immediately said"hum senior hain..hum is ki baat kyu
maanenge...n hum dadi bua ke haath ke under me kaam kar chuke hain..."kaka
interrupted"tum dono meri baat maanoge..aur nidhi beti ko tang mat karo..chalo.."n
nidhi heard nishu cry...she had completed the sandwitches n she told cs for tea
n rushed in...
Carrying nishu to her bed,she opened her
buttons n sat to feed...nishu needed no encouragement...he suckled hard...as
nidhi smiled down at him...so fair..healthy...n lovely...n her gaze travelled
to dr ashutosh...as if aware of her gaze,ashutosh opened his
eyes"arre..again..feed"??...nidhi admonished him"nazar nahi
lagaaiye...feed nahi doongi to bada kaise hoga...jaldi..."n she began
doing baby talk with nishu...Ashutosh said"nidhi..tumhari health..ka bhi
to sochna..."nidhi changed the breast and the topic.."aap ye sab
chodiye..ye bataaiye..tabiyat kaisi hai ab"??"theek hoon..i think no
fever..i can join in the second half tomorrow...nidhi...dekho to idhar...ye kya
hua tumhe..."?ashutosh was pointing to the almost swollen n tender left
nipple..nidhi 's gaze travelled...as ashutosh wore his spechs n held the nipple
inbetween his thumb n index finger..She felt a wave of warmth sweep over her...as
she felt his so...familiar touch...on her ..but the very next instant..she
cried"ouuuch..kya kar rahe hain..hurt karta hai..."ashutosh looked
up..."tumne bataaya kyun nahi...tenderness hai to feed karaane me nahi
dukhta"?ashutosh's voice was strict...nidhi spoke
softly..."actually..kabhi kabhi..he suckles so hard...ki tenderness ho
gayee hai..but theek ho jaayega..."ashutosh tried to detach nishu to
examine the other nipple..the deprivation of his lifegiving nectar..irritated
nishu..n he yelled"eee"nidhi pushed away ashu's hand ,reinserting the
nipple in nishu's mouth"kya karte hain aap bhi...usse doodh to peene
deejiye...aapka beta hai..bilkul aap hi ka temper hai.."smiled nidhi...but
ashutosh did not smile...looking stern he said"nidhi why are you doing
this...tell me why..i can imagine jab mere choone se taqleef ho rahi hai..to
uske suckle karne se kitni hogi...why.."??nidhi raised her eyes n looked
at dr ashutosh..."jaante hain..kyun...??kyunki kyunki maine kabhi nahi
apni maa se aise...aur aapko bhi pata nahi yeh sukh mila tha ya nahi..you know
dr ashutosh...when i hold him..n he suckles... i cant express kaisa lagta
hai...lagta hai..mai apne bachpan ki..aapke bachpan ki...kamiyon ko poora kar
rahi hoon..."ashutosh could not reply...he just fought back the gracious
drops in his eyes...then said"par..i still feel ,we shouldconsult
sudhir..aur haan dr khanna ko bhi dikhaana hai na nishu ko.."nidhi shook
her head"jee dr khanna se tuesday ka appointment ..vaccine bhi lagna
hai..mmr..n polio drops bhi...so pehle we should visit dr sudhir..because us
din to bahut roega mera baby..."n nidhi kissed the sleeping nishu..ashu
smiled...smiled at the eternal selflessness of nidhi...in every
relationship..she put in her heart n soul..never bothering about her own self...this
is what his nidhi was...
The whole family sat n had sandwiches n tea
in the hall..n armaan laughed"sach nidhi..teri aur ashu ki 25 anniversary
pe tum dono ko ek chai ki dukaan gift karoonga...wahaan romance
karna..dono..sainyaa..naino..ki bhaasha..."n nidhi almost scuffled
armaan..as both doubled with laughter...n baba n ashu enjoyed the
moment...nishu was awake too,maxi brought him out n baba took him..a finger on
his chin..n a wide grin emerged..."dekh ashu dekh...hanste hue bilkul tujh
jaisa lagta hai...bilkul"...ashu looked at nishu...as nidhi n armaan saw
the trio..three generations...baba continued..the magic of his dreams"isse
m.s ke liye u.s bhejoonga...phir super specialisation...bol neuro surgeon
banega ..banega na"??n nidhi smiled through the tears in her eyes...how
the lil nishu had become the rainbow of everyone's world..."eee"oh
feed time again!!nidhi said"dejeeiye baba,.isse feed kara ke laati
hoon"...as nidhi n nishu went in..baba looked at ashutosh..."ashu..i
feel nidhi ko bhi dikha le sudhir se..thaki thaki lagti hai...diet chart follow
karwa...mujhe dede..mai dhyaan rakhoonga.."ashutosh nodded...baba had
always been a v astute dr:"jee baba..maine bhi socha hai..nidhi ko
tenderness bhi..hai thodi..."baba understood..being an experienced dr
himself..he knew n realised all the nuances of the issue...nidhi emerged..with
nishu..now wearing a pink jhabla n red pullover...as armaan took him..he
said"teri mama ne to tujhe girls ke kapde pehna doye..ooo ab kya
hoga...bolo bolo..."n nishu smiled..he was a truly gregarious n
goodnatured baby...Heeraman kaka now came"aao baby..mere paas
aao..."n nishu was now in kaka's arms...as ashu looked at nidhi...how his
life had changed...baba gazed at the silk cotton tree outside...full of red
blossoms...just like his home...baba took a deep breath...MERA CHOTA SA GHAR
..MERA CHOTA SA SANSAAR
NAZAR LAGE NA DUNIYA KI YUNHI HANSTI RAHE
BAHAAR..
Next morning dr ashutosh was completely
fine...as col verma came to check on him,.."kaise hain ashutosh
ab"?asked colverma,"jee,almost fine..bas nidhi hospital nahi jaane de
rahi.."laughed ashutosh..as nidhi brought in tea..col verma spoke"mai
issi liye bua ko nahi laaya..warna..ek hafte ki chutti leni padti..." n
both laughed...though only 8 years apart..they were in a different if not
difficult relationship..n a relationship that had a bitterr past..as col verma
had eorked no end to separate ashutosh n niidhi apart...n had almost succeede
in kerala...however he did bow to their love...due to the guiding light of
baba...n now there was no bitterness..no acrimony..nidhi was so grateful for
this...her baba n her husband ..being close...the former who had brought her up
with all the love n care..for the first 24years n the second who..was her life
itself..."kya nidhi..kya soch rahi hai beta..."??asked col
verma..looking at nidhi..standing in the doorway...nidhi smiled"kuch nahi
baba...aapko dekhe..bahut din hogaye the..bas .."
********************************
On tuesday morning dr ashutosh took nidhi
to dr sudhir in the morning..he had already briefed him.sudhir checked ker
nipples..as nidhi bit her lip...n a tense ashutosh observed...In the cabin
sudhir said"soreness is certainly there in both the nipples..but i dont
think the paedes will agree to weaning..n maybe thats not right..specially when
nidhi is keen at breast feed...so i suggest wash the area with warm water n i m
writing a gel..apply it..clean it before you feed the baby..but even if it
mixes in milk..its completely harmless..so no worries...any other
problems"?nidhi shook her head ..but dr ashutosh said"haan
sudhir..back ache rehta hai...yahaan pe..."n he put his hand across
nidhi's loeer back..sudhir said"wrong posture of feeding...sit in way that
you have back support..pillows lagaao ..ok..n yes cervical check up..on
saturday..""thank you sir.."said nidhi..as she emerged..ashu
stayed back just a moment..as he reaffirmed"sab theek hai na sudhir...weak
lagti hai "!..."she is fine...nursing mom hai..diet pe dhyaan de..n
back ache nahi hone de...n ab to i m sure all is well'"ashutosh emerged
relieved as nidhi was chatting with some nurses..as soon as they saw dr
ashutosh,the friendly banter disappeared n "good morning sir
.."echoed..
In the evening the driver came to pick
nidhi n nishu to kgh for dr khanna's appointment..as the duo got down ..nidhi
was talking to nishu.."ye aapke papa ka hospital hai..m.d. hain wo...aur
pata hai..mamma papa ne yahin pe..."n she seemed lost in the long journey
of love..through the corridoors of kgh..as she reached dr ashutosh's cabin n
knocked..."come in..."n as nidhi n nishu entered..ashu stood
up..cleaning his hands with sanitizer ..he took nishu in his arms...n looked at
nidhi...the moment had the quintessence of all the previous unforgettable
moments..that ashutosh n nidhi had had..in that very cabin...the silent witness
of their love..their suffering...their union..
Smiling ashutosh took nishu in his arms and
walked proudly through the corridoors..with nidhi following..as staff
nurses..drs all looked..at the middle aged m.d. with grey side burns..yet
strikingly handsome...with his wife ..almost half his age...n the product of
their love,..in his arms..close to his heart...Dr ashutosh stopped..nidhi
looked..in front of her cabin"Dr.NIDHI"he crooned to nishu.."yeh
mamma ka cabin hai..tum jaldi se big ho jaao..tab mamma aayegi.."nidhi
seemed lost..in memories...when dr ashutosh had almost dragged her to give her
this surprise...how he had always supported n encouraged her...baba had summed
up their relation v correctly..dr ashutosh had given her everything...that a
woman could desire from a man...he was not only her lover n husband..but her
friend philosopher n guide...nidhi did not have any regret at seeing her cabin
locked...she knew she d come back one day...n there was nothing more satisfying
than what was before her..her husband..with their son...in his arms...
As dr ashutosh knocked n entered dr
khanna's cabin,followed by nidhi,he stood up to greet them..n then took nishu
to theexamination table..both dr ashutosh n nidhi..looked extremely
apprehensive.parents!!!nishu opened his big eyes as the dr examined him,took
his weight n height..n then as nidhi took him,he said.."sir,the baby is
absolutely fine n normal..a little overweight but thats fine considering he was
born9.something..."ashutosh asked"dr khanna,should we shift to
formula"?..."well sir,if dr nidhi is joining here..its a different
issue...otherwise ideaally..first6 months mothers feed...though from 4 months
we can supplement it with cerelac...is there a problem..with dr nidhi"?ashutosh
kept quiet..nidhi said"no dr khanna..i m fine"...as ashutosh gave her
an intense look..
The nurse got the vaccine n dr khanna
smiled as he put nishu on the table n turned him..while nidhi looked away..n
ashutosh gulped hard...as he inserted the needle"EEE"nishu's cries
filled the cabin...n as dr khanna handed the baby to nidhi..she hugged
him...tight"bas bas mera baby..mera beta,,,chup ..kya lega..bolo
bolo...ghoomne chalega"??ashu tried to pat him as his face turned red...Dr
khanna spoke..as nishu quietened a little,"he would get a minor
fever..maybe for a day..dont worry..n feed him now..as he might not take the
feed for 8 hrs or so..v common after vaccines..n now the polio drops"as he
forcibly opened nishu's mouth n squeezed the drops...In ashutosh's cabin..nidhi
fed nishu..as luxmi bai stood guard that no one should enter.."busy hain
sir.."was what she told all...as nidhi emerged..with a satisfied n sleepy
nishu..Ashutosh said"nidhi..mujhe der hogi...surgery hai...maybe 11
baje..khana theek se khana.."nidhi nodded..she knew for a true dr..duty
was always prime..n she was proud of dr ashutosh..his commitment n dedication
to his work...
As the driver dropped nidhi n nishu home
,baba,kaka,maxi all rushed to fuss over him..baba carried him..rocked him..n
looking at nidhi said"dont worry..kal tak theek ho jaayega..."nidhi
changed the diaper..maxi took him around ..but he was irritable..though he did
not have fever..nidhi tried several times but he did not suckle..finally
sleeping off at about9 ..nidhi had dinner..dr ashutosh had given her diet chart
to baba..n now she had spinach,beans...yogurt,daal on her plate!!!A tired nidhi
bathed ..looked at nishu ..kept dr ashutosh's food on the table n went to
sleep...her back seemed to throb...Dr ashutosh entered at 10.50 baba was
watching t.v"aagaya ashu..chal kah le"maxi heated the food..and as
ashu ate he apprised baba all about nidhi n nishu's visit..to the dr..baba
patted his hand"tu chinta na kar...theek hai nidhi...but if i may ask
ashu..have you resumed..."ashutosh looked down but then understood baba's
concern"no baba..not yet..she is not healed fully..we meet sudhir again on
satuyday..."baba scratched his beard thoughtfully"hmmm ashu..i m sure
she will be fine..maybe that is the reason she is a little low.."??ashu
nodded..nothing about ashu nidhi could ever escape his eyes...he was like the
proverbial banyan ree in which the two love birds had built their
nest..."yes baba..she feels..."...ashu did not know what to
say...baba knew his son...no one knew him better"neglected...worthless..hai
na??ashu..you need to reaffirm it to her ..your love..beta..ye daur mushkil
hota hai..."ashu nodded n entered his bedroom..nidhi lay asleep...curled
up strangely..hands tightly below her chin...she never slept like that..thought
ashutosh..then he looked at nishu..fast asleep..felt his brow..no
fever..ashutosh breathed a sigh of relief...n settled into bed..he oeeped at
nidhi again...having a gut feel...that she was unwell...wanted to touch her
..just to check..but restrained...n withdrew..just as on the wedding night...
It must have been about3 in the morning
when ashu could hear a muffled cry..in his deep slumber...he knew it
immediately..by his instincts...it was nidhi...he caught her..putting a hand
across on her abdomen asked"kya hua..nidhi"??nidhi just
whimpered..ashutosh was really worried...scared..."kya hua jaan..."he
tried to assess..as nidhi couldnt speak..just bit her lower lip...in her
teeth..as he shook her..she removed her hands from over her bosom n cried feebly"dr
ashutosh its hurting v badly..dekhiye plz"said she pointing to her left
breast.Ashutosh..wore his spechs quickly n opened nidhi's nightie ,holding the
left breast in his hand,he tried to feel it...nidhi pointed a spot...as ashu
put his finger there..she gasped..n pulled away..in pain..Ashu held on"let
me check..."n probed gently with his nimble fingers...there was a v stiff
area..about 3 cm in radius..close to the nipple..that was v stiff..dr ashutosh
had never worked in gynaecology after his housejob...but he knew..it was a duct
clogg..one of the milk ducts had been jammed due to some reason...he tried dr
sudhir..but the no.was out of coverage area..so he braced to deal with it
himself..he made nidhi lie flat,.n went to the kitchen to get hot water n then
sat by her...dipped big pieces of cotton in water n steamed the area...as nidhi
tried to open her eyes...he gently pushed back her hair with one hand...n
asked.."better lag raha hai...dont worry..its duct clogg..you will be
better...feed nahi liya kya idhar se nishu ne"??nidhi tried to
speak..."usne feed liya hi nahi..so raha hai..."ashutosh
understood..the milk that had to be suckled..had caused the clog...now
what??breast pump...he didnt have one...he dialled kgh..holding nidhi in one
arm"dr ashutosh here..who is the gynaec on duty..."he was connected
to dr priyanka..on listening..she said she could send the pump right away..but
the process may be tedious...if the baby suckled ,it d be the best ...till then
hot foementation...Ashu said"main nishu ko laata hoon..."nidhi
winced.."sone deejiye...bechaare ko injection laga hai...plz dont disturb
him...meri kasam...i m fine...aap bhi so jaaiye"ashu refrained from waking
up nishu...thinking that if he got up irritated..n did not suckle,hed add to
nidhi's woes...so patiently..he kept heating the water n pressing the area...by
4..it had softened a bit..."plz so jaaiye..mai kar loongi..."said
nidhi...only to be quietened by that look in dr ashutosh's eyes...that almost
drove her to tears...tears of love...ashutosh forced nidhi to release her lip
from her teeth...n saw the deep mark of teeth...he just gulped..then bent n
placed a tender kiss at the marks...n continued the treatment..pressing the
area gently..yet being very conscious..that he should not whip up any desires...in
his nidhi..as for nidhi..she was in far too much pain..but knew ...it had to be
borne...suddenly..nishu cried...Ashutosh got up..,brought him...changed his
diaper...n then made nidhi sit gently..with lots of pillows around,...as he
gave nishu to her n inserted her nipple into his mouth...nishu was
famished...he suckled hungrily...as nidhi lay in a recline..holding
him...ashutosh got up...cleared all the stuff ..n then wiped nidhi's brow...as
he could see the lines of pain receding...he felt the area...it had
softened...ashutosh looked at nishu..it was the second time he had brought
relief to his mother...ashutosh's nidhi...ashu kissed him in thanks..n softly
told a sleepy nidhi"take him on the other breast now..."nidhi smiled
n did as directed...as ashutosh held her n nishu...his world...just as he had
done on the first feed...ashutosh weaned nishu n patted him to sleep..n then
came back..nidhi was fast asleep almost in the same position...ashutosh
tenderly covered her n made her lie...wiping the tears from her face...he
thought..if it were in his power he d never let tears come in his nidhi's
eyes..he gently kissed her...keeping firmly in control the volcano of
desire...of yearning...wiping her tears..was more important..always...
TUKDE HAIN MERE DIL KE E YAAR TERE
AANSOO...
BEHNE NAHI DOONGA MAIN BEQUAAR TERE
AANSOO..
It was saturday morning ,dr ashitosh n nidhi entered dr sudhir's cabin."so little girl ,how do u feel"?asked sudhir n n7dhi smiled...sudhir called the nurse n told her to take nidhi for changing..Ashutosh followed n as soon as nidhi had changed n lay on the examination table,dr sudhir entered.he bent to make a thorough examination of the cervix,distended to see if there was any pain...dr ashutosh peeped in too..n then looked at nidhi's face..calm.sudhir finished n said,change n come ...i am waiting"!nidhi n ashutosh entered the cabin,sudhir looked at them n spoke"well nidhi has healed perfectly...nothing to fear..normal life can be started...even driving...but yes a little caution would do no harm."n then looking at dr ashutosh ,he said"nidhi's cycles will be irreregular as she is nursing...but contraception is necessary...nidhi cant be out on pills as of now..so i.u.d??"ashutosh stopped him midway,"dont worry,i will take matters into my hands...till she can start the pills"nidhi looked at ashutosh..n lowered her eyes..suddenly feeling v shy n conscious...Dr ashutosh continued,"any otherprecautions..?"sudhir shook his head"no...its all fine..haan tell me how is the tenderness..i forgot...let me check"n nidhi had to open her buttons..as she fumbled,ashutosh helped her to expose the bosom to the dooctor..who checked n said..."good,much better,...".
On the wayback ashutosh seemed very relaxed..indeed he was...nidhi was finally pain free..he heaved a sigh of relief...As the car stopped n nidhi got down,ashutosh said"chalta hoon..shaam ko id come by 8 ..."nidhi came in..smiling...n nearly bumped into baba..."arrre beta..dekh ke chal...chot lag jaayegi...kya baat hai..aaj bade dino baad..tujhe yoon chehekte hue dekh raha hoon..."n nidhi blushed...n ran into her room...baba smiled...as he understood all...afterall he had always been the guardian of their love...baba still remembered how he used to see his dr "guddi"pining for someone in jeevan sandhya...how she d never share much...he knew she loved someone v deeply ..but little did he know it was his own son...Baba sat on his rocking chair...remembering...how wrong he had been ..in almost dragging ashu to stop mallika's marriage...but it was the divine intervention..at the dargah..he had seen nidhi n ashutosh ...look at each other with so much pain...so much pathos,such deep yearning n such utter helplessness in their eyes...that it had not taken baba even a moment to realise that nidhi was the love of ashu's life...now he smiled...as armaan n nidhi entered the hall from their respective rooms"kya hua baba..kyu muskura rahe hain aap"??asked armaan...baba answered"armaan ,mai yaad kar raha tha...jub tune mujhe nidhi ke baare me bataaya tha...aur phir main col ..."nidhi came n sat at baba's feet..."jaante hain baba...aap nahi hote ..to mujhe dr ashutosh kabhi nahi milte...yaad hai aapko jab aapne mujhe geeta ka updesh diya tha..jeevan sandhya me...ki kasam todi bhi jaa sakti hai...main dr ashutosh se milne aai thi...aur us raat..jab aapke puraane ghar me aap mile the dr ashutosh se...yaad hai aapne kya aashirwaad diya tha mujhe?"baba smiled...put his hand on her head n spoke"yehi na ..ki mujhe to meri chaahat mil gayee..ab tujhe bhi teri chaahat mil jaaye.."nidhi had tears in her eyes...tears of relief..tears of love..tears of joy...as armaan said"bhai..plz senti scene band karo...mujhe bhook lagi hai"!!n both nidhi n baba laughed..baba said"tujhe pata hai nidhi...jab ashu tujh se mil kar airport se waapas aa raha tha..to armaan ne chinta me usse phone kiya tha...aur jab usne kaha ki woh saatwen aasmaan per hai..to bechare armaan ne socha ki ashu paagal ho gaya..."!!!!!!!!!n they laughed loudly...as maxi brought little nishu for playing with baba.As baba took him,nishu gave a big smile...that reflected in nidhi's eyes too...as she got up to fix the lunch..hearing baba chatter with nishu.."pata hai..tera papa bahut gusse waala hota tha..par teri mummy ne sab gussa thanda kar diya...pata hai"n armaan tickled him n said"dr hardstone ko dr heart throb bana diya..."
Everyone was waiting for ashutosh,when at 8.30 his car entered...n as he said hullo..nishu ,hearing his voice..seemed to yell to go into his arms..ashutosh quickly changed had a quick shower n took nishu..kicking in anger at the delay..as baba remarked"ufff ye gussa..bilkul tujh pe gaya hai..."n ashu smiled..."par baba mai kahaan gussa karta hoon ab"??baba smiled"ab to tujhe teri nidhi mil gayee ..hai na...jab isse bhi koi nidhi mil jaayegi..yeh bhi shaant ho jaayega..."n again nidhi was mesmerised as ashu looked at her...
At dinner,ashutosh got talking about some new appointments that were being made in k.g.h. n also told nidhi..your leave for one year has been sanctioned..nidhi..but with the rider that you d have to come if there is an emergency...aur salary milti rahegi"...nidhi beamed"great...phir to shopping bhi chalti rahegi "!!!!!n armaan laughed as ashu winced n then smiled!!!
In the bedroom,nidhi was feeding nishu..as ashutosh came n sat next to them...looking at the two...and as nidhi changed the breast...he looked with yearning...finally after about 30 mins,nishu was thru...n fast asleep..ashu took him into his arms n settled him in the crib..keeping the teddy close to him...n then giving a last lingering look,returned to the bedroom...nidhi was missing...he could hear the shower...as he waited...looking out of the window...the same window where about 15 months back..he had huuged nidhi n said"chalo apne kal ko aur khoobsoorat banaayen...usse tumhari hansi ki dhoop..."n nidhi emerged...in her black nightie..as they looked at each other...
Nidhi came n sat next to dr ashutosh...n he took her hand..very tenderly touched her fingers n asked"nidhi ...tum..thaki to nahi ho"??n nidhi looked up at him...remembering their first night ..in this very room...when he had awkwardly asked the same question...time seemed to have stood still...finally dr ashutosh raised his eyebrow...n both came to the present...and nidhi...quietly put her head on his strong shoulders...she whispered"dr ashutosh..."all emotions...all yearning,all desire,all wait,all love was condensed in that one word...her universe...Dr ashutosh kissed her eyes tenderly...before taking her lips with full force..nidhi could feel his throbbing passion...as her blood seemed to rush through her veins...Ashutosh's hand reached for the table lamp n switched it off...His hands worked to remove the lovely laced nightie...n as he saw nidhi's full form...after nearly 5 weeks...he was spellbound...his eyes moving from head to toe...n nidhi seemed to quiver..as his fingers grazed her belly...probing her navel...oh how they had missed this intimacy...the quiet surrender...the mutual bliss...ashutosh's mouth teased her ear lobes...as she seemed to moan...in pleasure..then he moved on to her bosom...n as his head rested in between ..he fondled her lovingly...but very carefully...n then kissed her nipples ..before moving below...caressing her belly,full of stretch marks...n as nidhi looked at him apprehensively..he smiled n said"you are lovely..."as he bent to kiss every square inch of the marks...trying to pay tribute to those 9 months of pain...n agony..n the final bliss...he wanted to reaffirm to nidhi that her marks did not matter to him...they just made her more perfect..for him ..nidhi ...the fact that she loved him...had married him..was all that mattered...he made love more to her soul...her inner beautiful self...the form...did not matter much,...for him..through his eyes..his nidhi would always remain lovely...n he kissed her passionately...rubbing the marks...n then slid his finger into her womanhood...looking at her face very carefully...was she in any discomfort??nidhi had her eyes closed as she whispered "i am fine...dont worry..."and as a breath escaped ashutosh's lips...his fingers moved on ..as nidhi pulled off his shirt ...he moved away...and returned in a moment...afterall..her safety was his responsibility...he slid back..both in their natural forms...nidhi rubbing his shoulders...his back...trying to drive the fatigue ..the tension away..and then her fingers grazed his chest hair...as she kissed him..n ashutosh probed her moist core..his dextrous fingers searching for new spots...and at the same time he could not forget..that she had been injured...he seemed scared...of hurting her...nidhi felt his hesitation...n softly nudged him ..further in...he bent to probe her navel with his tongue...how he had missed it...as his tongue n finger weaved magic..probing...now quite fearlessly...as he pressed her there..she moaned loudly...and ashutosh sshut her moans with his kiss...probing into her mouth...deep..nidhi cried with ecstacy as she tried to shift..nervously...ashutosh..held her firmly...looked deep into her eyes...n then...after what had seemed ages...came on top...as he entered her...nidhi was swept by a wave of tingling..n joy..her every fibre wanted him...she raised her hesd to kiss his shoulder...as if to say"i am ok..dont worry"n ashutosh understood...after that there seemed to be no stopping ..ashe moved deeper n harder..n both were on a voyage across the moon...as millions of stars of ashutosh's unfathomable love...filled the depths of not only her body...but glittered even in the darkest crevasses of her mind..driving out the darkness of doubt...As ashutodh lay next to her...his breathing still not stabilized...he took her face in his hands...n kissed her forehead...nidhi came close ..n asked..a little hesitatingly"dont you think...i need to go to the gym..to shape my tummy.."ashu hushed her"bilkul nahi...no tough exercises...just walk n be normal...it will go..on its own...and let me tell you...i love you as you are...i havent married you for your figure..."nidhi listened n played with his grey side burns...smilng how stupidly she had wanted him to dye these...ashu caressed her stretch marks..."i love you even more...jaanti ho na..pyaar poore ka poora hota hai..hisson me nahi...mai tumhe cahta hoon..tumhari skin ko..ya..tumharie hoton ko nahin...jaise tumhe mere yeh safed baal pasand hain..kyunki woh mere hain..wise hi mujhe tumhara sabkuch pasand hai...kyunki woh tum ho...meri nidhi..."n the fire of love n passion seemed to light up again...as ashutosh caressed her breasts..pressing the tips...n then buried his head in her belly..his tongue driving her to crazy heights...as his fingers delved deeper into her...nidhi kissed his form..he seemed to shudder as her lips played ...finally unable to bear the separation...they united...again..ashutosh claiming his love...as they broke all barriers of ecstacy n pleasure...this was bliss...this was fulfilment...this was commitment...
Nidhi lay in ashutosh's arms...as he played eith her hair...not seeming to have enough of her...nidhi held him close...as he had his hand on her belly...n looking into her eyes..he seemed to say..
PHOOLON KE RANG SE,DIL KI KALAM SE TUJHKO LIKHI ROZ PAATI
KAISE BATAAOON KIS KIS TARAH SE PAL PAL MUJHE TU SATATI..
TERE HI SAPNE LE KARKE SOYA,TERI HI YAADON ME JAAGA
TERE KHAYALON ME ULJHA RAHA YU KI JAISE KI MAALA ME DHAAGA
BAADAL BIJLI CHANDAN PAANI JAISA APNA PYAAR
LENA HOGA JANAM HUME KAI KAI BAAR...
n ashutosh raised himself..once again...to immortalize their love...connect their bodies...n their souls,...nidhi..kissed him yet again ..n all words...of this talkative bubbly girl again ..condensed to that one word...the cause of her smiles..the joy of her life...the light of her dreams...the anchor of her heart..."dr ashutosh..."!!said nidhi...as ashutosh..kissed her full..n claimed her...once more.. 😉
As dr ashutosh was getting ready ..nidhi was
quickly organising his papers n then brought in the breakfast as he wanted to
review the case before the surgery..ashu was reading as nidhi buttered his
toast ..n thrust it into his mouth...Ashutosh said"yeh kya kar rahi
ho..."?nidhi smiled n replied"khila rahi hoon..aur kya..nahi to
bhookhe hee chale jaayenge surgery ke liye,,"ashu kept the papers n pulled
her into his lap..."ab khilaao.."n nidhi put the bread to bite..and
as ashutosh drank his tea..nidhi looked at him...caressing his side
burns...just then her phone rang..it was aahna..dr sudhir's daughter..it was
her 24 birthday n she was having a big bash in the "in thing"the only
disco in lucknow..nidhi declined saying"thanx aahna,but i cant come..nishu
is v young,he will get disturbed n so much of sound n glittery lights are not
good for him...so i m really sorry.."dr ashutosh was listening to the
conversation..n he knew how fond nidhi was of dancing..though after marriage
she had never been to the disco but...He held her..by the waist n
said"nidhi..tum jaao disco..apne dosto ke saath...mai sambhaal loonga
nishu ko.."nidhi giggled"achcha..sambhaal lenge..feed bhi kar
lenge"!!!!n she continued"dont worry..mera koi mann nahi hai disco
jaane ka..abhi to i cant even wear heels..aur dresses bhi fit nahi karengi
purani..mera tummy to dekhiye..abhi bhi 3 months preggy lagti hoon..so aapko
guilty feel karne ki koi zuroorat nahi hai..."n she kissed ashu..removing
his specs...and he kissed her back..but then stood up"gotta go..nidhi..its
a tough case"nidhi waved bye..n then went into the nursery..
For ashutosh it was a very long
day..surgeries,meetings,rounds..but at 5,he called aahna ,jyotika,deepak n
priyanka ,aditi into his cabin.."i m sorry,really sorry aahna that nidhi
cant come to the disc..with you guys..but can we have something else...go to a
nice place ..where we can take nishu as well"?aditi thought n then shouted"sir...how
about the new chinese joint RICE BOWL..the decor is cool..n the food
awesome.."priyanka interrupted"but its vv expensive"dr ashutosh
spoke"dont worry about the cost..the treat is on me..your disc party is on
sunday so lets fix this for saturday evening..n plz dont tell nidhi..its a
surprise..."and the young drs smiled...by now they all knew how deeply
their dean loved his wife..who happened to be their batch mate!!The ashni love
story was looked upto with awe n admiration...by both the seniors n youngsters...during
nidhi's delivery even dr dubey n the management had seen that dr ashutosh's
world now revolved around his wife...nidhi 18 years his junior...they were
divided by time frames but united by their love n devotion to
eachother...though initially all had viewed the union skeptically...ashutosh's
friends ..though rarely said anything but with the exception of armaan..they
were sure it was a case of a pretty girl sweeping a rich,brilliant middle aged
dr off his feet..n ashutosh would get fed up of her soon after the desire for
sex abated...n he found that he had nothing in common with this vivacious
intern...on the other hand ,nidhi's batch mates pitied her...thinking she d be
a doormat to her much older more intelligent n senior husband...n they pitied
her more when she got pregnant...thinking she must be cursing herself doomed to
change nappies n satisfy her husband..when her friends went shopping n
hiking..but slowly as the relationship steadied...the world saw how dr
ashutosh...the infamous hardstone...softened for his wife..how the couple could
be spotted shopping n eating out...n how dr ashutosh had encouraged nidhi to
complete her internship..n then literally carried her in his strong arms thru
the difficult pregnancy...nidhi's friends had also realised that nidhi did not
miss the loud fun any longer...she was maturing under her husband's
influence..n had become an asset to k.g.h.Nidhi's enthusiasm at having a
baby...her courage when ashutosh's plane went missing...had earned her the
respect of one n all...Two people who had always been sure of the success of
this relationship were baba n armaan ..n they were delighted that the world was
acknowledging it now...ashni seemed a role model of mutual trust n
commitment..of undying love.
Saturday morning,as nidhi woke up..she saw
ashu coming in with a cup of hot tea...n as he took a sip..n then handed over
the cup to nidhi...he looked at her gown..still open..her breasts clearly
visible..he came close..his hands touched the tautness...as he tied the
gown...nidhi blushed as she recalled the intimate lovemaking ..they had
had..she could still feel his fingers in her...ashu read her thoughts..n gave
that very special smile...a naughty glint in his eyes...as if asking her if she
desired an action replay...At the breakfast table,baba said"ashutosh,3 din
baad holi hai..kya programme hai.."?ashu said"baba,im sorry,i have a
great no. Of surgeries lined up...main to shaam se pehle nahi aa
sakoonga"armaan interrupted"arre aise kaise..nishu ki pehli holi
hai..aur tu usse gulaal nahi lagaayega"??nidhi tried to
intervene"armaanj7,surgeries are more important...n i feel iss baar nishu
bhi itna chota hai..so low key rakhte hain..."baba smiled at his daughter
in law..how understanding...but then said"bhai..mai bhi top neurosurgeon
reh chuka hoon...so i can understand ki dr ashutosh busy honge..par madam nidhi
ashutosh..mere ghar pota hua hai...to holi to dhoom dhaam se hogi..ashu se
shaam ko khel lenge...kyun"??n armaan clapped..the decision had been
taken..Ashutosh got up to leave...n then turned"arre nidhi,i forgot..aaj
shaam ek party me jaana hai..choti si...bus friends ki..so ready ho jaana..n
nishu ko bhi kar lena...chalo ..lemme see kya pehnogi..."n he scanned
through to pull out a beautiful fab india kurta n salwaar...nidhi was
surprised"yeh...aapke friends ki party me..??no no..this is so..college
like..i will wear a sari.."ashu put a finger on her mouth.."no
arguments..this is perfect...haan feed kar lena nishu ko...if he wants more ..u
can always give him there..."
Ashutosh arrived..n nidhi was ready..he
said"wow...you really are looking an intern...kahin mujhe phir se
pyaar..."n nidhi pushed him away.."jaaiye fresh ho jaaiye..kya
pehnenge..black suit"??ashu didnt reply...he emerged n dressed himself in
a black cords n a grey tee shirt...nidhi seemed mesmerised...ashu shook her by
the elbow..n said"nishu...??feed le liya"nidhi nodded as she took
nishu n his bag..n they came out..dr ashutosh took nishu in his arms n gave the
crv keys to nidhi..n then crooned to nishu"aaj mamma drive karegi...chalo
"nidhi was surprised"parrr main to..mujhe ab confidence nahi
hai...kahin lug gayee to..."ashutosh brushed her aside"what
confidence nahi hai?you drive sooo well..nishu bhi to dekhe
zara...chalo..mahanagar mall plz madam"n nidhi started the car...she drove
pretty smoothly..much to her own surprise..but as she drove over a series of
speed brakers n the car jolted n jumped...dr ashutosh instinctively spread his
hand ,protectively across her abdomen..."did it hurt"??he asked..looking
concerned...nidhi smiled n said"no,im fine,.."ashutosh relaxed as
they reached the mall n nidhi parked.."ab kahaan"??.."are chalo
to..."n dr ashutosh brought her to the top floor..n nidhi was almost going
to walk into HAMILTON COURT..when ashutosh tapped n said.."yahaan..rice
bowl mei..."n before nidhi could say anything,ashutosh opened the door..n
nidhi walked in as aditi,aahna,deepak,priyanka,jyotika,gagan all hugged
her..."SURPRIZE...IT WAS SIR'S IDEA..."n nidhi looked into ashutosh's
eyes...volumes of love...unsaid unsooken...but very much there,..
Nishu..became the centre of attraction..as
ashutish held him n the young drs played with him...ashutosh told
"dekho..chin pe finger rakhane se hunsta hai...see"n each one put a
finger n nishu gave a gurglous smile...As they gorged chowmein,chopsuey
,manchurian wanton, n chillypaneer..nidhi observed dr ashutosh was eating v
little.."aap kuch rolls mangwa leejiye..."but ashu said he was
fine...as jyotika n aditi taught him using chopsticks...which he learnt in a
jiffy n laughed"dont forget..neurosurgeon ki fingers hain..."ashutosh
took out a tiny parcel n gave it to nidhi for aahna...aahna opened it..lovely
silver earrings"wow sir...thank you"...ashutosh nodded n looked at
nidhi..hee eyes had a silent thanks in them...The group talked of fashion n the
latest at fab india..n then chetan bhagat's latest books..n sports...nidhi was
surprised that dr ashutosh participated in every discussion ..n knew quite a
bit about the latest hollywood flicks..finally the loudmouth aditi
said"sir..u surprised us...we didnt know..you were so cool...humto aapko
dr dubey type hi maante the..."ashutosh smiled..n said"well
actually,i do respect dr dubey a lot n learn from him...but why did you
feel..mai fossilized hoonga..dont forget..i live with a live wire"n all
laughed..now nishu was getting irritable..it was probably time for his feed..so
as it was 11,ashutosh looked at the drs"so ..time to go home..n thanx for
coming"he paid the bill,as they emerged..nidhi now held nishu as ashutosh
sat in the drivers seat..she opened her kurta to feed nishu...and covered
herself with her chunni.."dheere chalaiyega..feed le raha hai...n thank
you ...aaj ke liye..."ashutosh smiled as he drove...nothing mattered more
to him than nidhi's smile...n she had always given so much to their
relationship..visiting his friends,helping him make presentations..prepare his
conference drafts..n then have a baby..while her friends were going to
discos,hanging out till late nite n enjoying ..Finally ashu asked"nidhi..ek
baat poochoo"nidhi said"ek kyun huzaar poochiye".."tum apne
friends ke saath ghoomna..khana..disco jaana miss nahi karti"??nidhi
looked at him..as if surprisedat the question then answered"dr
ashutosh...maine aapko .,itna miss kiya hai...ki meri life me kisi aur ko miss
karne ki koi jagah nahi...aap hain to subkuch hai..aap nahi to kuch nahi..kuch
bhi nahi,..."n then added with a naughty glint"par haan chopsuey miss
karti hoon..kabhi kabhi..."n both smiled..Nidhi had never been able to get
over the pain n agony..the sense of desolation n loneliness of being without
her ashutosh...kerala separation had left a v deep n indeliable impression..of
insecurity in her mind n heart...mallika's phase...nidhi walking out ..all this
had made it even worse...though now they were blissfully happy..ashutosh knew
nidhi's undercurrents..he could see n feel her insecurities..as she refused to
stay at her father's place..except during emergencies...how she changed the
channels if there was any separation scene...n above all...how she held him
while they slept...almost like a child...who had lost his everything once..n
now clutched to it like life...ashutosh gulped n looked at nidhi...patting
nishu to sleep...
As nidhi changed n came to ashutosh...he
smiled and said"nidhi thank you nahi bologi"..nidhi smiled n
said"thank you.."ashutosh caught hern said..."biwiyaan aise
thank you nahi bola karti..."n as the lamp was switched off..nidhi could
feel herself being transported to the bed n then to the world of ecstacy n
bliss..as her moans filled the room...growing louder...n louder till Ashutosh
claimed her...n then they slept...bodies..hearts n future entwined...
The night before holi,nidhi cooked
gunjhiya,dahi bade ,n samose..n then as they sat for dinner armaan
asked"kal kab niklega"?"6.30...its a complex case,8 month old
baby with a brain tumour...lets hope i save him.."baba looked
concerned"chinta na kar,...tere haathon me shafa hai..sab theek
hoga..shaam ko rang lagaayenge..."dr ashutosh seemed a little preoccupied
n tense even in the bedroom,he kept reading about the techniques on his
i.pad...something that he used v often now...he even phoned dr kenneth in new
york n discussed...while nidhi rocked nishu n fed him...she was tired an arched
her back...ashutosh got up from his study table..kept talking over the phone
but with his right hand rubbed n pressed nidhi's lower back...as nishu
continued to suckle...he was asleep by the time ashutosh ended his
conversation...nidhi touched his face"tense nahi hoiye...aap bacha lenge
usko..."ashutosh looked at her...n said"tumhe mujh par vishwaas
hai...aur mujhe tumhare vishwas par vishwaas hai...but you know...that
baby...so much like our nishu...yet has to suffer so much...i shudder ki uske
parents par kya beet rahi hogi..."nidhi understood his apprehensions...she
held him n said"chaliye so jaaiye..you need rest..subah mai brekfast ready
kar doongi..."ashutosh kissed hrr forehead gratefully as he slept
soundly...
In the morning,ashutosh awoke at 5,30 n as
he extricated himself from nidhi..she too got up...rushed to get sandwitches n
tea for him..she knew he liked being light before surgery...ashu ate a little
,had tea..n said"chalta hoon..hope..."nidhi patted him...n
said..."aap chinta nahi kariye..mera vishwaas hai.."ashu
turned...rest remained unsaid...
The family got activated..baba,armaan
,nishu..in his new white dress..n baba aoplied a yellow teeka on him..armaan
put a little on his cheek..soon col verma dadi bua cs,anji dr ranganath
solankis n khushi arrived..there was usual revelry..khushi loved
gunjhiyaas,nidhi served everyone..they played gulaal...everyone knew dr
ashutosh was away..saving a life...but everyone tried to enjoy..making nishu's
first holi memorable...his dada n nana sang HOLI AYI RE KANHAAI... n Armaan
danced with anji n ranganath to the latest BALAM PICHKAARI...though they tried
to pull in nidhi..she restrained saying"nishu royega..."baba
smiled...he looked at armaan..both understood..what rather whom was she
missing..,ndhi called everyone for lunch..hare chane.aaloo kathal n poori n
pulaao with suji hulwa...anji exclaimed"arre aall favourites of
jeejaji..wish wo bhi hote...but bolna nidhi..we missed him..."dadi bua
said"meri bachchi..tu bhi to kha..."nidhi diverted"arre mai to
kha kha ke thak gayee..."baba knew she d not eat till ashutosh
returned..but he remained quiet...gradually everyone returned ..armaan smiled
as he saw cs applying gulaal on maxi...n then he took nishu.."chal isse
aaj mai aur baba change kar te hain...tu ja aaraam kar..."baba n armaan
undressed nishu..sponged him..baba admonishing armaan"dhyaan se,..gale ke
neeche haath rakh"n armaan could not help wondering...what it d have been
like if naina had not...finally nishu ,in a new polka overall had cream applied
on his chubby cheeks n armaan called"nidhi isse le jaa...soyega"nidhi
smiled n came..seeing her nishu smiled..probably his first such smile n she
seemed to be bowled over..carrying him..she sat on the bed to feed him...her
mind was still in dr ashutosh's surgery...what if he lost the patient..how d he
deal with it..specially since it was a child...almost the same age as
nishu...nidhi closed her eyes n prayed...she was sure the noble hands of dr
ashutosh could not lose a life...
In the o.t dr ashutosh was removing the
tumor..but it was deep rooted..n the blood loss was tremendous..as he made the
final deep delve..he remembered nidhi...his strength...n succeede..he
immediately called for blood transfusion as he sewed..after 8 hours when he
emerged..to face the prents..he had a smile"the baby is out of danger,..the
tumor has been removed..no worries now..but we d keep him under observation for
10 days..."said ashu as he stood dead tired...the parents held his
hands..tears streaming down they said"dr sahib...aapne humaara ghar bacha
liya..bhagwaan aapka ghar khushiyon se bhar de...aur holi bahut bahut mubaarak
ho..."ashu remembered it was holi...but he still wanted to be sure of the
patient..he waited in his cabin..as the child was shifted into i.c.u. finally
at 6 when he was satisfied that the child was out of danger..he drove back
..home..
Baba asked"ashu kya
hua...patient..."??ashu smiled n baba knew.."we pulled it off
baba..the child is fine..tumor removed.."baba asked"root to nahi
chodi..back cut se kiya"??ashu nodded"jee baba..n no all portions
removed..."baba patted him n said"i m proud of you my son..really
proud..jaa ab chang2 kar...nidhi intezaar kar rahi hai..kuch nahi khaaya hai
usne..."ashutosh came in..nidhi was feeding nishu..she looked up..n the
shine in ashutosh's eyes told her he had succeeded..her ashutosh could never
fail..."tumne khana kyu nahi khaaya"??asked ashutosh..nidhi did not
reply..."mai nahaa ke aata hoon..tab khaate hain"ashu emerged in his
spotless kurta pyjama n took nishu..alert n active.."holi kheli..kis kis
se rang lagwaaya"??n nishu gurgled as if he was understanding all...then
ashu took a tiny speck of gulaal..applied it on nidhi's nose n nishu's
cheek..as they sat for the meal..it was nearly dinner time..armaan told ashu
"kya mast baby hai nishu..khoob enjoy kiya...dance bhi kiya mere
saath...bus ye nidhi,..lag rahi thi..jaise dadibua ki dose mili ho"!!!maxi
n kaka served as ashutosh nidhi n family ate...finally ashu touched baba's feet
n said"sorry baba..aaj mai nahi tha..."baba hugged him"sorry nahi
beta...tu ne kisi ki jaan bachaai hai...you have made us all sooo
proud..."n ashu looked at nidhi...her eyes radiant with pride..
In the bedroom nishu was in no mood to
sleep..he lay in between ashu nidhi...as ashutosh remarked"yaad hsi pichli
holi..."nidhi nodded recalling how she had confirmed her pregnancy..n an
astute ashutosh had guessed it...decorated the room...n it had been sheer
bliss..she knew she had given ashutosh the ultimate bliss..today that bliss
played between them.."ashutosh tickled nishu n he laughed...nidhi looked
at the three of them...n then there wedding photo...as dr ashutosh finally
cuddled nishu to sleep n settled with nidhi on his chest...playing with his
chest hair...he heaved a sigh of satisfaction..n kissed nidhis hair before
closing his tired eyes...nidhi could hear his heart beat...n her own seemed to
hum
TU BADAN HAI,MAI HOON CHCHAAYA,TU NA HO TO
MAI KAHAAN HOON
MUJHE PYAAR KARNE WAALE TU JAHAAN HAI MAI
WAHAAN HOON
HUME MILNA HI THA HUMDUM KISI RAAH BHI
NIKALTE
YE KAHAAN AAGAYE HUM YUNHI SAATH SAATH
CHALTE
TERI BAAHON MEI HAIN JAANAM MERE JISMO JAAN
PINGHALTE..
It was may end,nishu was nearly 4 months old...he had tiny dark curls on his head,his neck was stable n each day he was more fun to be with...he was the apple of baba n armaan's eye...n shrieked loudly whenever he saw dr ashutosh..wanting to be carried in his arms..whenever ashutosh held nishu...it seemed even the angels stopped to bless them..Nidhi was busy as nishu still suckled her..n suckled hard...something that worried ashutosh...as he felt nidhi was growing frail...her"3 months tummy"had certainly disappeared because of her walks.n she did look thinner..though at times ashutosh would have to rub her back ..tired n aching..carrying nishu for long hours...nishu was certainly jr hardstone..when in a rage..none except nidhi could quieten him...as baba d smile n say"bilkul baap pe gayaa hai apne..."nidhi had promised ashutosh she d start his cerelac supplement soon.."how soon"??asked ashutosh n nidhi just evaded..ashutosh sighed..it was impossible to win against mother n son duo..
Lucknow was really hot now..n as nishu loved to bathe,nidhi made him play with his tiny rubber toys,as she deftly rubbed his back n shampooed him...finally carrying her large bundle of joy in a towel to the bed...she took some baby oil n massaged him...n though she sang badly she loved to croon her favourite song to him..changing the words to suit the bond...CHANDA HAI TU MERA SOORAJ HAI TU
O MERI ANKHON KA TAARA HAI TU
JEETI HU MAI BAS TUJHE DEKH KE
IS MERE DIL KA SAHAARA HAI TU...
n nishu d smile n then he looked at ashutosh's photo n giggled as if saying"you r ok but my papa sings better"!!nidhi dressed him in white tees n blue shorts and lay next to him..touching his brow n forehead...exactly as his fathers...she closed her eyes to recall that unforgettable intimate touch...as nishu kept laughing..nidhi said"papa ki yaad aa rahi hai...papa to busy hain..pata hai..tumhare papa country ke best neuro surgeon hain..he is the best..."n nishu smiled...n suddenly nidhi shrieked as nishu had caught hold of her hair n was pulling them...she had to give him his favourite teddy to free herself!!!
Nishu sat in his bouncer in the dining room as nidhi helped kaka n maxi lay the table..suddenly maxi's phone rangit was chote sarkaar..n the two had a long animated discussion...nidhi observed the glow of joy on maxi ..she asked"maxi kuch khaas"??..."no..yes...no madam..actually chote sarkaar pooch raha tha nishu ke baare me"!!nidhi smiled"strange..nishu ke baare me tumse"!!maxi fumbled"madam..aap to jaanti hain..chote sarkaar is..strange..."suddenly nishu gurgled as he saw baba...n nidhi smiled"ab godi uthaaiye is jr hardstone ko..nahi to ghar sir pe utha lega"baba smiled as he took nishu n said"bilkul..mera pota hai..mai nahi godi loonga to kaun lega...chal nishu..kahan chalega..khata to tu kuch hai nahi...jab khaayega to hum tum aur heeraman roz rabri imarti jalebi khaaya karenge..theek na"!!!
Armaan n dr ashutosh came within a short time of each other...n freshened up to take turns to play with nishu..nidhi pouted "ab meri to koi pooch hi nahi..bas nishu hi nishu hai"armaan laughed n said"ashu ,yaar mujhe to nishu chahiye..aisa kar is moti mummy ko tu le le..."n nidhi n armaan pillow fight began yet again...as a dazed nishu looked on..finally ashutosh had to say"yeh nishu bhi grow up kar jaayega par tum dono nahi karoge..."armaan made a facen said"aur kya...tu,baba kaka ho na grown ups..hum to aise hi hain..kyun nidhi"???n nidhi smiled"yess"!!!as ashutosh gave up;););)
After dinner,as nidhi helped in winding up,ashutosh crooned nishu to sleep..holding him fondly in his arms...kissing him..patting him softly..savouring the bliss of holding the evidence of his n nidhi's love..the love that broke all barriers...nidhi stood transfixed..at the divine beauty of this father son bond...n as she was going to change ,she felt those familiar strong arms around her..ashutosh back hugged her..pushing her hair to one side ,he kissed the nape of her neck..as his fingers opened her kurta...n then fumbled with her bra..it was a front open..as nidhi guided his fingers...n he opened the clasp..nidhi's legs seemed to have turned to jelly as she clung to ashutosh...he smiled n putting a finger below her chin made her look up to kiss her full...n then as he lifted her to the bed..n came ..prepared..responsible..she almost yelled at the delay...her fingers ran through his hair..as she kissed his bare chest..ashutosh slowly removed her earings..n bit her lobes..as he looked at her...nidhi blushed..as he played with her nipples..nidhi wanted to off the lamp..but dr ashutosh stopped her..as he turned his attention to her navel..his finger n tongue playing havoc with nidhi's senses..nidhi in her restlessness bit ashutosh's shoulder..n could see the burning desire..the flaming passion..as always,he took charge of her body ..knowing how n what would send her inti ripples of ecstacy..he entered..but continued to probe her navel..till she was moaning with pleasure..n he sealed those moans with his kisses..as they came to qa shuddering bliss..Nidhi slept in his arms...bare..as his hands covered n touched whatever they wished to...Nidhi awoke in the wee hours..still firmly in ashutosh's arms ,she nestled closer..n kissed his throat...he opened his eyes..kissed her back...as his fingers sought her melting core..feeling her intricacies..bringing her to one dizzy peak after another..n then sealing her with his firm resolute love...n both sighed in mutual bliss..shared ecstacy...
The next day was busy for dr ashutosh with the health secretary coming for meeting about the annual grants n other issues..the hospital needed funds n the secy joked"dr ashutosh,how about dr nidhi holding another fashion show"??ashutosh raised his eyebrow to give a sharp look to the secretary as dr dubey stated sternly"i think you are unaware that dr nidhi,wonderfully talented as she is..these days is on maternity leave...she n dr ashutosh have been blessed with a son"the officer sqirmed n retorted "great..it must be wonderful to experience fatherhood at this age ..dr ashutosh...i hope dr nidhi is doing fine"!!by now ashutosh had got used to these barbs..he smiled n said"thank you..n yes its great to be a father..n nidhi is in the pink of health..after all she is only 25 ..i.e 18 years my junior!!"
As the family sat for dinner,the phone rang,baba took it..it was col verma...after the pleasentries he said"haan haan kyun nahi..naana ho ..mann to karega hi..mujhe koi aitraaz nahi par ashu nidhi se baat kar lo colonel.." ashu looked up as baba explained.."colonel verma chahte hain kuch dino ke liye nidhi aur nishu unke ghar..."ashu looked at nidhi as he took the phone"good evening col verma...jee..i completely understand..mai nidhi se finalise karke phone karta hoon"..All looked at nidhi..baba said"beta..jaana chahiye..teri dadibua..ka,col ka kitna mann karta hoga nishu se khelne ka...delivery ke pehle bhi nahi gayee thi tu...ashu kya chahta hai.."ashutosh cleared his throat n said"nidhi..i feel tumhe jaana chahiye..ek hafte ke liye...main aaya karronga milne...afterall un logon ka bhi to huq hai nishu pe..."armaan chirped in "haan nidhi..tu jaa,to mai bhi aaya karoonga milne..khoob khaatir hogi.."!!!ashutosh said"theek hai,i shall phone col verma,kal chod aaoonga..tum dono ko..ok"??nidhi nodded..quietly..
Col verma invited the whole family for dinner and then nidhi nishu n maxi d stay back..maxi was most excited..as nidhi packed..clothes,diapers..toys..she looked at dr ashutosh "mai jaa to rahi hoon..par aap khayaal rakhiyega apna...aur khaana time pe..aur suits n ties sab ready hain..."ashutosh got up..n came to her..held her hand n said"nidhi...tum nishu ke saath uske nana ke ghar jaa rahi ho..woh bhi sirf 7 dino ke liye..aur hum roz baat karenge..'".."aapne kaha tha milenge roz..."ashutosh smiled"ab bachchon jaisi baatein kar rahi ho...kya sochengi dadibua..agar mai roz aaoonga..wahaan"??nidhi pouted..as ashu kissed her adorable pout..He knew nidhi felt insecure at her father's home...not able to get over the fact that once upon a time col verma n dadi bua had tried to rip ashutosh n nidhi apart...but then..they had come around..n ashutosh felt that they too deserved the joy of playing with their grandson..the ever adorable nishu...He just hoped n silently prayed..his nidhi could cope up well with this trip..that she could get over her fears ..anxieties n insecurities...of losing him...
The mathur family arrived and col verma welcomed them as dadibua fussed over nidhi n nishu..."meri bachchi..kitni sookh gayee hai..ab aaraam kar yahaan par...mai sambhaaloongi is badmaash ko...aur daaktar..kaam kaaj kaisa hai"??chote sarkaar served cold drinks as nidhi took nishu's stuff into her room n began arranging it..trying to push away the sad memories..n recalling the joyous times...the phone calls..when dr ashutosh came to make her try the ring...n the hug...suddenly dadibua called"meri bachchi..khaana..."as the family sat n dadi bua served oaneer mahrani ,bhindi masala n naan..along with raita..armaan suddenly saw the new l.e.d. that col verma had purchased"arre wah sir!!lovely t.v..kab liya"??col verma smiled n said "yeh chote sarkaar ki zid par..unhone keh diya tha ki l.e.d. nahi to woh khana nahi khaayenge"!!n maxi hit cs with an elbow..col verma spoke"chote sarkaar..on kariye bhai..."cs put the t.v"daaktar saahib kaun sa channel dekhenge..."armaan said"chalo travel plus lagaao...lucknow se baahar nikle to..."n as cs put the channel...dadi bua shrieked..."arre yog..dekh...dekh to..kerala...wohi resort jahaan hum aur nidhi gaye the...nidhi dekh "nidhi who had been eating happily while col verma had been holding nishu..playing in his nana's lap..seemed to have stopped dead..in her tracks..the bite in her hands...she looked at the t.v...as the camera showed the beaches where she had run aimlessly looking for dr ashutosh...the temple that dadibua wished to take her to...the sitting area where ahutosh...her ashitosh had faced her father...to ask for her hand...the commentator narrated"kerala..god's own country..right place for lovers..when monsoon is hre..at this wonderful resort...with this lovely glade of coconut trees..."n they focussed onthe spot...on the spot ...where nidhi had told ashutosh to saygoodbye to her..never to meet or contact her...armaan ,col verma could comprehend what was going thru nidhi's mind...for armaan had been a witness to her n ashutosh's suffering while col verma ...he had been responsible for it...baba sat...unable to fully grapple ..as this was one chapter of ashni life that he had notseen,...dadi bua went on unabated"kya jagah thi..kya mausam...aur hotel to wah!!yaad hai nishi..naariyal paani..aur dosa..waisa dosa nahi khaaya...aur kya hawa thi...tumhe bhi to yaad hoga..tum bhi to aaye the ..daaktar nidhi ke peeche peeche ..bhool gaye?..""ashutosh took a deep breath...how could he have forgotten the phase..when just out of the jaws of death...his life his nidhi had been virtually snatched from him...he had risked his life to ho to kerala to cement his relationship with nidhi...but had returned..with a broken heart...
Col verma could see nidhi's eyes blank n dr ashutosh swaying between anger n concern...he said"chote sarkaar channel badaliye plz"but dadi bua was totally insensitive..its not that she desired to hurt nidhi...its that she never realised the extent of psychological damage the separation had caused nidhi..she went on"arre chalne de na..phir kahaan jaa paayenge kerala..purani yaadein taaza hone de..."nidhi could take it no more...she got up..n extended her hands for nishu...whom col verma handed over to her..trying to read his daughter's emotions..he couldnot..her eyes were blank.she went in to her room...At the dining table ashutosh n armaan exchanged silent glances..n as col verma got up to go for nidhi...ashutosh stopped him"rukiye..mai dekhta hoon..."
As dr ashutosh entered nidhi's room...he had been expecteing to find her crying...but to his shock...she had a blank look...as she mechanically took out nishu's clothes n toys n arranged them back in the suit case...holding her son..her nishu close to her heart..as if that was all she poasessed..Ashutosh came in.."nidhi..."she looked up..n then as if woth a great effort spoke.."dr ashutosh..kya aap plz mujhe ghar waapas le chalenge..plz main yahaan nahi...rehna chahti..plz i beg of you..."nidhi folded her hands...ashutosh couldnt take it anymore...he put an arm around her ..as nishu leaned n he took him..."nidhi..woh tumhaara apna ghar hai...you dont need my permission to come..chalo..."ashutosh took nishu n nidhi as he told maxi to pack the rest of the stuff...As they emerged nishu in ashutosh's arms n nidhi leaning on him...ashutosh's gaze met col verma's...col verma couldnt meet his son in law's eyes..n lowered his eyelids...Ashutosh told baba"aap nidhi ko car me le chaliye ..mai aata hoon"as baba took a dazed nidhi out.nidhi stopped for moment in front of her mother's photo..n then without looking back ..walked on...ashutosh came to col verma..."col verma..i cant leave nidhi now...i hope you understand...she has always been insecure...anyway..i will try to meet you tomorrow..n plz dont be angry with dadi bua.."ashutosh touched col verma's feet...dadi bua was in side...realising what she had done...n crying over it..
Dr ashutosh drove as nidhi sat absolutely quiet...hugging nishu..armaan kept looking at both of them...recalling the endless suffering of the lovers in kerala...to which he had been a witness...baba understood all...
As the car stopped at the mathur nivaas,nidhi almost ran inside with nishu in her arms...kaka was shocked..baba n armaan looked at ashu...he went in as armaan got the bags..Nidhi was feeding nishu...though he was suckling..he did not seem happy..such is the chord between mother n child that one is able to feel that something is amiss with the other...ashu took nishu as his feed got over..n he rubbed his sleepy eyes...he rocked him to sleep n came to nidhi...
Nidhi sat at the edge of the bed..her toes curling in nervousness...ashutosh knew no amount of explanations or comforting words would help at the moment...he just sat next to her n put his arm around her..instinctively nidhi clutched at his shirt..n he held her to him...closer than life..patting n caressing her back..as she lay ..her face on his chest ..n hands clutching his shirt tighter than ever...ashutosh realised why nidhi always held on to him ..while she slept...the kerala nightmare had never left her...ashutosh kept running his fingers thru her hair...wondering if making love d be a good idea...to reaffirm their togetherness..but no..his n nidhi's relationship was often beyond that...he just held her to his heart hoping sleep d come to her...eventually it did..but the hold on his shirt did not loosen..howmuch he mattetedto her...ashutosh thought..even the thought of losing him made her seem a babe in the woods...At about 2 in the night ..ashutosh was awakened by a burning sensation against his skin...he looked at nidhi..felt her forehead..n then put his hand in her kurta to feel her stomach...it was blazing..as her forehead..Dr ashutosh got up..opening nidhi's fingers clutching at his shirt..he got the thermometer n woke nidhi.."nidhi..plz bukhar lene do..."nidhi spoke some gibberish...so ashutosh opened her kurta n put the thermometer in her armpit...as he timed her pulse..her forehead resting on his shoulder...the thermometer read 104.5degrees.Ashutosh immediately got calpol n mafe her swallow it..then as he went out for ice bandages..baba n armaan came "kya baat hai ashu...".."nidhi ko highfever hai...deep emotional distress..."ashu went in ..closing the door firmly behind him...as he changed the bandages..he tried to talk to nidhi..."jaan..kya baat hai..darr gayee ho..."nidhi didnt say anything...she didnt cry...but just as ashutosh was getting up to bring some more ice..she held his hand...n said "dr ashutosh...plz kahin nahi jaaiye..pz dont say goodbye...plz.."ashu kissed her forehead...adjusted her kurta..n said"jaan..main kabhi goodbye nahi keh sakta...i m here with you..dekho armaan baba..sab hain.."n he called "baba..armaan..."as they came in..nidhi seemed to relax...armaan sat close to her.."hey nidhi...yeh kerala nahi ..tera aur ashu ka ghar hai...aankhe khol...darr mat.."nidhi sighed...as she settled ...muttering in her delirium"dr ashutosh...mere baba..dadibua kerala le jaa rahe hain mujhe...aapse alag karne.humesha ke liye...dr ashut..."
Ashutosh caressed nidhi's forehead.."nidhi koi alag nahi kar sakta hume...dekho..i m here" Ashutosh gulped..as baba n armaan looked at him..he knew..the root of nidhi's insecurities lay in kerala...her cure also..probably lay there...kerala..."
Ashutosh kept changing the ice packs...while
armaan n baba paced outside the room..finally ashtosh removed nidhi's kurta n
gave her a cold sponge...n it was only after all these efforts of love that
nidhi's fever came down...n as she opened her eyes..she saw dr
ashutosh...looking at her with concern ..worry n overwhelming,..overpowering
love..nidhi blinked n said"i am fine...kal bas thoda disturb..."as
she tried to get up..ashutosh put his strong arms around her...n said"aaj
bus rest...n play with nishu...i have to go for surgery..baba n armaan dono
hain...may i go"?ashutosh looked into her eyes..nidhi seemed
apologetic"aur kya...jaaiye..dont worry,fever hoga to crocin le
loongi...".."calpol...calpol suits your system better..n i will come
by afternoon..."he took her face in his hands n looked into those
eyes..trying to read their fears n insecurities...n trying to let nidhi know
...that no one probably not even god could wreck them apart now...ashutosh
kissed her on the forehead ...n left...as he came out..baba n armaan looked at
him..ashutosh n the teo understood each other perfectly ..there was no room for
words...
At about 9 armaan came into nidhi's room n
touched her forehead..there seemed no fever..n then he asked
tenderly"nidhi naashta karegi..."??nidhi woke up with a start..but
armaan held her hand..."main hoon...chal khaa le..nishu bhi so raha
hai"nidhi emerged after freshening up...baba was waiting...n as the three
ate...baba could feel nidhi was still a little lost...he looked at her n said
"nidhi...mai kuch kehna chahta hoon..tujhse..meri bachchi"nidhi
looked up..""jee baba"baba continued"beta..yeh vishwaas
rakh apne man me..ki koi bhi..koi bhi ashu aur tujhe alag nahi kar
sakta...bhool ja puraani baatein...dard..chotein ...yaad rakh to sirf pyaar ..apna
aur ashu ka...apne ateet ki muskuraahatein yaad kar..beta aansoo
nahi..."nidhi gulped n nodded..unable to speak...Armaan added"aur
nidhi...kerala mei..ashutosh ne bhi bahut bardaasht kiya tha..mai tha uske
saath..gawaah hoon main uske ek ek aansoo ka..jise usne kabhi behne nahi
diya...har aah ka ,jo uske hoton se nahi nikli...dil me hi reh gayee...par
nidhi ..dekh..ashu nikal aaya hai baahar un kaale saayon se...tu bhi nikalne ki
koshish kar.."nidhi hung her head down...not being able to say anything...
Dr ashutosh was through with his surgeries
n rounds by 2 n then he called dr ranganath n said"dr ranganath,i have to
leave for the day..if there is a problem ,let me know..i shall come
instantly..."ranganath nodded..understanding things as the information of
events had percolated down to him n anji via the solankis...
Dr ashutosh knocked at col verma's home n
chote sarkaar came.."arre daaktar saheb..mai abhi bulata hoon col sahib
ko"col verma came..looking very downcast..as ashutosh bent to touch his feet
he stepped back.."plz dr ashutosh...mere paaon mat chooiye..iss laayak
nahi hoon main...bahut dil dukhaya hai maine aapki nidhi ka..."ashutosh
stopped him midway"col verma nidhi jitni meri hai...utni aapki bhi
hai..infact usse bhi zyaada..shaayad.."col verma unburdened his
soul"jaante hain ashutosh...mai samaaj se ,samaaj ke dakiyanoosi niyamon
se itna darr gayaa tha...ki mujhe nidhi ki marzi...uski khushi ki parwaah hi
nahi thi...jaante ho ashutosh...jab aap hospital mei the..humne..maine aur bua
ne itna zor daala nidhi tha nidhi par...aapse naa milne ko...bua to usse
hospital se kheenchti hui le aayeen thi...jaise woh koi bejaan jaanwar ho...aur
phir maine...uske apne pita ne usse waada liya ki jaise hee woh aapko aapke
paaon pe khada dekhegi...humaare saath chali jaayegi aapse door...bahut
door..."dr ashutosh..closed his eyes...recalling that last meeting in the
hospital...when nidhi had seemed more shocked than surprised to see him
standing..when her touch..as he had held her hand...had divulged her deep agony
to him...but it was today,after all these years that ashutosh understood fully
what was the real cause of her missing smile..even on seeing him stand...it
meant their separation...Mallika on one side ..n her father n grandmother on
the other...tearing her away from ashutosh...how she must have suffered...no
wonder she had told him in kerala that she was afraid...afraid of life...Col
verma continued..."n then we took her to kerala...she was like a dead
body...a corpse..na khati thi..na hanst thi..bas uski aankhon ko aapki hi
talaash rehti thi...yahaan tak ki apna phone tak bhi chod gayee thee lucknow
mei hee..."ashutosh nodded"jee,pata hai ..maine kitni baar try kiya
tha...""par dr ashutosh...kerala mei bhi...jab aap aa gaye..tab bhi
meri aankhen nahi khuli...itna andha tha mai guroor mei...ki jab usne aapse
kaha ki mera faisla hi uska faisla bhi hai...to mai bahut khush hua
tha...nahisamajh paaya tha ki...ye meri nidhi nahi...uski bejaan rooh bol rahi
thi..mai jaanta hoon jab woh aakhiri dafa aapse milne gayee thi kerala
mei...nahi pata kya kaha ussne...but when she returned...her eyes were
dead...uske andar kuch toot gayaa tha...mai baap ho kar bhi nahi samajh
paaya...naa uske pyaar ki gehraayee..na uski chot ki.."ashutosh sighed
deeply...n looked up at col verma"jaante hain col verma...nidhi itni
insecure hai...that she holds me ..holds me tight...every night...but you know
col verma..we..you n i have to work..to banish these demons...to help her
forget that painful chapter...you know...i have been thinking..n have
decided..i am taking her to kerala...to the same resort...to create some
happy..blissful memories...i am sure that will help her to forget the
agony...that was..,we d leave on friday...baba will be in touch with
you..."As dr ashutosh was leaving...dadi bua came ..her feet heavy with
guilt...her swollen eyes told the story..of how she must have cried...through
the night..she looked up at ashutosh n then..hung her head in shame..ashutosh
tried to smile ..n put an arm around her shoulders"dadi bua...sab theek ho
jaayega..chinta nahi kariye..."dadi bua replied"daaktar...nidhi ke
mann pe bahut kaale saaye hain...mere gunaahon ki sazaa bhugat rahi hai meri
bachchi..."...'"dadi bua...jab sooraj nikalta hai na...to gehre kaale
baadal bhi chat jaate hain...koshish karoonga ki wahi sooraj chamke aapki nidhi
ki zindagi mei...aakhir jab col verma ne uska haath diya tha mere haath
mei...tab vishwaas kiya tha mujh par..ki unki beti ko khush rakh paaoonga
mai..."n dadi bua broke down n hugged ashutosh...ashutosh held her...n
whispered"dadi bua..mujh par bharosa rakhiye..."n he left...
At night as nidhi lulled nishu to
sleep...ashu waited for her to come...and when she did...he took her hand n
spoke"tumhe yaad hai nidhi,jab nishu hua tha...tab maine kaha tha..kahin
le jaana hai..usse..aur tumhe bhi..chalogi.."?...nidhi looked up
questioningly n said"kahaan..."??"kerala...mere saath...beete
hue kal ko mitaane ke liye...aur humaara kal khoobsoorat banaane ke
liye...plz..."nidhi seemed to quiver...ashutosh held her..tighter"daro
nahi...tumhaara pati aur beta...dono honge tumhaare saath..."nidhi bowed
her head against his chest...hid in his arms..her ultimate refuge...for once dr
ashutosh did not close his eyes...while holding nidhi...his intense gaze was
fixed...into the future...a future that he d make secure n painfree for the
butterfly who had transformed his world...the mother of his child..his one n
only nidhi...
Friday evening,ashutosh n nidhi touched
baba's feet...armaan hugged nidhi...n looked at ashu as he handed armaan an
envelope,..ashu took nishu as they sat into the taxi...
At the airport..nidhi seemed unduly quiet n
lost..infact ashutosh had to remind her to feed nishu..nidhi got up n tok him
to the nursing mothers enclosure..ashutosh paced outside... finally she emerged
with lil nishu...n the boarding was announced..ashutosh n nidhi settled into
their seats..ashutosh had booked business class..he said"humaare nishu ki
first
Flight hai...i hope roye nahi..."as
the plane screeched on the runway ,nidhi drew nishu to her bosomm
instinctively,covering his ears...as ashutosh put an arm around her..nidhi
seemed to shudder at the take off..once the plane was mid air..nishu seemed to
be happy..playing with the soft toy that the air hostess ..lunch was served n
ashutosh cajoled nidhi to eat..."its only my third flight...isse pehle bus
kerala trip..."ashu held her hand n said"jaan..nishu thoda bada ho
jaaye...we will go to europe..i know tumhara europe ghoomne ka bahut mann
hai..."nidhi just looked at him n said"dr ashutosh...mai bas aapke
paass rehna chahti hoon...aur kuch nahi chahiye..kahi nahi jaana
mujhe..."ashutosh understood her pain but tried to make light of
it..."theek hai..phir tum baba ke saath rehna lucknow mei...mai aur nishu
jaayenge world tour pe...theek nishu"n the father son smiled...as they
looked at the woman in their life...
The plane touched down...n ashutosh ,nidhi
with nishu in her arms deplaned,collected the luggage n came out...a cab was
waiting with a placard"dr ashutosh mathur"n they boarded n drove
on...nidhi looked up at ashutosh as the taxi stopped at the
resort"avlon..god's own country"...she
asked"yahaan..."??yes ,it was the same resort...where nidhi had been
brought by her father...forced to sever ties with dr ashutosh..ashutosh did not
answer ..just took nidhi by the waist...holding nishu in the other arm...as
they checked in n entered their suite...facing the same glade of coconut
trees...
Nidhi quietly unpacked as ashutosh played
with nishu..n then as nidhi stood near the window...looking outside..he came n
hugged her from behind...caressing her arms..as she turned to get away..he
pulled her to him n kissed her...firm n deep...almost as a stamp of
authority..that she was his...wife n life...nidhi's lips opened..but she didnt
respond with the same intensity...ashutosh withdrew...only to kiss her eyes...n
then her lips...till she was gasping for breath...she looked up to him...he
said"mujhe ek mauka dogi...mai yahaan tumhaara haath apne haathon me leke
mausam enjoy karne aaya hoon...apni phursatein bitaaogi mere saath...ya phir se
good bye kehne ka iraada hai"??nidhi couldnt say anything...she just
hugged him back...
In the evening,ashutosh changed into tees n
jeans n carried nishu in the new baby carrier that he hung around his neck n
tied to his back,nishu's face was close to his chest...very much as nidhi kept
hers...nidhi in her blue churidaar kurta..came for a walk...Ashutosh walked
with nishu to the trees..where nidhi had hugged him...for the first time...n
though initially shocked n hesitant..he had hugged her back..n held on to
her..as if he were holding on to life itself...ashutosh looked at nidhi..she
was wandering in the glen...recalling how..her mind had played tricks wioth
her...how she had imagined dr ashutosh everywhere...around her...playing the
violin...sipping tea...n raising an eyebrow to her...in the red tie she had
gifted him...but it had all been a mirage...till she had heard ..as if by
magic..."nidhi..tum mujhse door jaa sakti ho..lekin apne aap se nahi...jahaan
jaaogi..mujhe paaogi..."n how she had rushed into his arms...only to
separate..to burden him with her vows..her oaths...nidhi trembled...as she
again heard ashutosh say..."nidhi...tum mujhse door nahi jaa sakti..jahaan
jaaogi...mujhe aur nishu ko paaogi..." n she looked up..dr ashutosh
standing..at almost the same spot...holding nishu in one arm...n extending the
other for nidhi...no power in the world could have stopped nidhi...as she ran
into his arms...n they hugged again...closer...tighter...till lil nishu almost
squealed...n ashutosh loosened his grip...only to hold nishu higher n pulled
nidhi to where she belonged...close to his heart...