"YOU PLAYED YOUR PART OF THE PLAN REALLY WELL TONIGHT." - 5X13
I know that this episode was a very controversial one becuase of Damon and I know that a lot of people think he regressed to his S1 self and acted OOC. But did he, really?
I didn't like his behavior at first (and I still don't) but most of all I had a hard time in recognizing our Damon, it wasn't him. And that's exactly the point. When I rewatched the episode, it was a lot clearer to me. I analyzed his actions and expressions, I looked at the little details and I came up to this conclusion: he was faking the most of it.
"You played your part of the plan really well tonight."
Damon is a great actor, he always has a plan and he knows how to put it into practice. Since the moment Kat!Elena confirmed his worst fear, he decided that she and everyone else were right, that there was no good in him. So, that's what he had to do: playing the part of the monster. This is not who he is, but since everyone (including himself) thinks so, he might as well be.
It's his way of coping and obviously it's not healthy, this is not the right way to deal with his issues, but when his whole world came crashing down and everything fell apart, he held on to the one thing he knew for sure: he is a monster.
We know how much of a OCD freak Damon is, so when he starts breaking things, dirtying and trashing his own house, that's when you know that something is very wrong and that he's putting up a defense mechanism. That's when you know that you're not looking at the real Damon. Same goes for day drinking. But killing people and enjoying it, making a mess of his life, being self-destructive, not caring about anything apart from himself, is what he used to do. It's what people expect him to do, right? ("Could you be any more predictable?") Except that it isn't exactly like that. This time is different. Because there is no joy in the broken smile he sports after killing Aaron. And someone who is enjoying himself, who cares about himself, doesn't wish for the love of his life to kill him. Nor does he accept a poisonous injection with so much as a shrug.
"You think you don't deserve something, so you ruin it". That was exactly one year ago, in 4x13, not S1 or S2. And right now Damon thinks that he doesn't deserve to live, so here it is: the goal is to completely ruin his life and the plan is to be a monster.
But for some reason, somehow, it doesn't come so naturally anymore, so he actually has to make an effort. For the most part of this episode Damon is all smirks, mean retorts and snarky comments, one sarcastic joke after the other, without any pause. And the feeling you get is that he's overdoing it, the same feeling you have when someone is simply trying too much.
"It's a lie you know. There's no switch you can turn off. It works for a couple of years for a newbie vampire. But after a few centuries you just have to pretend."
And of course he had to hit where he knew it would hurt the most, that was the main part of the plan, even if he wasn't the one actively calling the shots. Sure enough, that did the trick, he took it too far and he successfully burnt his bridges. And in this moment, when he turned his back on Stefan and the others and walked away, that's exactly when his mask fell off. It wasn't needed anymore: he had reached his goal, the show was over. When no one was looking, we saw his real face and it showed nothing but guilt, remorse and anguish.
But what struck me the most was the shift in Damon's behavior during the next scene with Enzo. After everything was said and done, he was completely spent, his voice low and his demeanor resigned. So much for someone who enjoys his "new" lifestyle. He didn't even care about killing Wes, which is weird considering how hellbent Damon was on finding him, uh? Yet once he did, he couldn't care less about taking his life; to me, it's another proof that his previous actions were merely for show. And that's when, for the first time since the beginning of the episode, he finally spelled some truth: he had lost any reason to stay in Mystic Falls, he had effectively destroyed his life.
It's also interesting to me that he helped the imprisoned vampire, given his supposed IDGAF attitude. Yes, he then killed that same vampire but that's because he was out of control, which brings me to my last point.
You know what they say, be careful what you wish for, right? By the end of the episode, karma caught up with Damon and he got injected: he wanted to be a monster and he ended up actually becoming one. But no, this is not him either. When I watched the last frame, the one with blood all over Damon's face, it felt so weird and wrong to me, because Damon has never been a messy eater. I'm probably overanalyzing it, but I can't help thinking it was done on purpose.
The mask is back on, only this time it's not up to him to take it off.
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