Should I message my exfriend or no? | Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships

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Rashi

@cool_rashi

Goldie

Posted: 10 years ago

I was friends with this girl in high school and I had an awesome high school years and majority of it because I found someone I could really connect with. We became best friends. After high school, we went to different universities but we still tried to stay in touch.

Slowly, we started arguing. We tried to solve the small conflicts. We stopped talking and after a month she messaged and we cleared everything up and talked. However, our conversations were not the same the way it used to be. Then, the conversations stopped.

Through mutual friends, I know that she was really hurt. However, she did talk a lot of bad stuff about me behind my back with them and how I am so selfish. She exposed every single messages of mine to these friends and she would make stupid jokes about me to them. I didn't speak about what happened between us or anything about her to any of my friends. In fact, this is my first time speaking about this issue.

Its been a year and I was going through high school pictures and I want to message her to check on her and to see how she is because we were really good friends at one point. However, I know if I message her she is going to tell all the people around her how "I lost" and I messaged her, how I am lonely, or how i failed to live without her. Indirectly, she challenged me with this and we didn't have any closure.

I don't want to bring up any conflicts or try to resolve any conflicts. I feel that would just make things worse.

Edited by cool_rashi - 10 years ago

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939409

Posted: 10 years ago

Pass me her number.. let me try !

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@TheBoss

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

She doesn't know the first thing of being a friend.

Stay away!

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No2Pencil

@No2Pencil

IF-Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

She has moved on.. you do too.. Good Friends no matter what will never bitch or reveal your dirty laundry in front of others .. Its hard , i know dis.. i have been thro this.. but if u really care about her than LEAVE HER.. she seems to be happy in her own world ... Let her enjoy! you go your own way and make new mates .. who knows .. maybe after sometime she might be doing you message of miss you or maybe feeling sorry.. and for god sake, u don't have to pretend.. "live and let live" 😃 . Don't waste any more days on her.

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Rashi

@cool_rashi

Goldie

Posted: 10 years ago

This content was originally posted by: No2Pencil
She has moved on.. you do too.. Good Friends no matter what will never bitch or reveal your dirty laundry in front of others .. Its hard , i know dis.. i have been thro this.. but if u really care about her than LEAVE HER.. she seems to be happy in her own world ... Let her enjoy! you go your own way and make new mates .. who knows .. maybe after sometime she might be doing you message of miss you or maybe feeling sorry.. and for god sake, u don't have to pretend.. "live and let live" 😃 . Don't waste any more days on her.

LOL yeah I moved on too. I made new friends. It is just that I wanna still be friends with her so that I could post pictures online of us without being questioned or just get a closure. You know what I mean?I am not trying to become her best friend again. I just wanna be on good terms.

She didn't expose any secrets, she just made stupid jokes about me, stuff like how I let my ego come in between us and stuff like that. Basically, she blamed me for all of this and it was not fair because both of us were at fault.

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Rashi

@cool_rashi

Goldie

Posted: 10 years ago

This content was originally posted by: TheBoss
She doesn't know the first thing of being a friend.
Stay away!

LOL I feel I was a terrible friend to her as well :$

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557451

Posted: 10 years ago

I don't think you should message her. It takes two to tango. So she shouldn't have blamed you for everything.

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No2Pencil

@No2Pencil

IF-Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

This content was originally posted by: cool_rashi
[
LOL yeah I moved on too. I made new friends. It is just that I wanna still be friends with her so that I could post pictures online of us without being questioned or just get a closure. You know what I mean?I am not trying to become her best friend again. I just wanna be on good terms.

She didn't expose any secrets, she just made stupid jokes about me, stuff like how I let my ego come in between us and stuff like that. Basically, she blamed me for all of this and it was not fair because both of us were at fault.

see..info u have given, seems like u have been trying to reach out to her but she is not responding to you..😕 .. BUT if you are so INTO Clearing it..give it a last shot n promise yourself u won't do it again..so , either u go talk face to face or message her and clear this mess .. but still if she doesn't want to do den.. accept the fact dat you can't control ppl, their minds , ways and also u can't make everyone happy.. 😆 ..best of luck but hey if my best friend would have made joke about me,Just cuz we had MU.. i swear i would be highly pissed..

Edited by No2Pencil - 10 years ago

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Rashi

@cool_rashi

Goldie

Posted: 10 years ago

This content was originally posted by: No2Pencil

see..info u have given, seems like u have been trying to reach out to her but she is not responding to you..😕 .. BUT if you are so INTO Clearing it..give it a last shot n promise yourself u won't do it again..so , either u go talk face to face or message her and clear this mess .. but still if she doesn't want to do den.. accept the fact dat you can't control ppl, their minds , ways and also u can't make everyone happy.. 😆 ..best of luck but hey if my best friend would have made joke about me,Just cuz we had MU.. i swear would be highly pissed..

I tried to reach her once and she was really mad at that point. I messaged her saying whats up and she didn't carry out the conversation so I didn't bother to msg her again until Christmas. But majority of the people didn't get my message so I don't know if it was a network problem or if she ignored that messaged.

We both did not try to reach each other for a while. I know that she cried after this whole thing. Tbh, I have a guilt. It wasn't entirely my fault but I don't wanna carry this guilt with me.

I totally agree with you. If i give one more shot, I would NOT give it another after. Yeah I was highly pissed and that is why I didn't bother to reach out. But I feel like I should be the mature one, either msg and get a closure or just end it and say bye.

My mutual friends tell me not to message her. The only reason I am thinking about it because I don't want to blame myself in future or carry the guilt.

However, I know I would regret messaging her and if she doesn't reply. Like, i would hate myself for messaging her in that case. So, I don't know what to do.

If you were in this situation, would you take the last shot? And if you did, what would you say?

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Rashi

@cool_rashi

Goldie

Posted: 10 years ago

This content was originally posted by: Hearts.Flowers
I don't think you should message her. It takes two to tango. So she shouldn't have blamed you for everything.

Yes, thats one of my reasons for not wanting to message her. She should've been mature about this but instead she acted immature.

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