|ReWrite|[RaHi]{ff.chap6/pg12} - Page 6

Originally posted by: sneha02

The freshers talent hunt...something that was mercilessly murdered by the cvs...loved this take on it...meaningful tha n allowed the characters to grow too...rather being reduced to a mere add on of no real value to the story...Phew! This makes me feel good..I thought I was going too rushed with it but I didn't want to drag it much..

Things aren't the same between them...n the best part is that they feel it too..I kind of feel bad though 😆 Angst angst karke I am making them drift apart sooo much! Nothing feels normal between them..am I doing it wrong? Do tell!

Ranveer at his musical best yet Panchi slightly distant even annoyed stays on only to be forgotten by him...n he wakes up to her only when she walks up on stage n makes herself acknowledged by the world n by him too... yet he wants her to look out for him though on his part he has forgotten that she even sings...well loved their complex relationship. Ranveer, the adorable gadha, always was a bit of a tubelight when it comes to Panchi. Either he will realize her talent when he needs them for his own gain or acknowledge them when he has no choice but to do so, like it happened here. Or he will know everything about her but never say it. He'd need to be repeatedly clubbed on the head when it comes Panchi..and clubbed he will 😉

Love the way she literally fades away unnoticed by a self engrossed Ranveer too busy with his own life...typical nonu...n me loved a ready to make herself felt Panchi...independent n ready to defy groupism...You know in the beginning of S2 how there were repeated hints to Panchi being the only one who is at the center rather than in any group, I effin' loved it. JeeMiChi triangle wasn't exactly how I wanted it but it was still amazing, how this one girl wrecked havoc in the life of two guys who control the college.  Man, if this wasn't a RaHi FF..I would've loved to do a take on JeeMiChi triangle! who takes centre stage without her best friends help...nervous undoubtedly yet faces the music alone...panchi independent n not sad about it is a treat...n me loved when Ranveer accepts that he is a fool to think all her songs will be forever be for him...wow...yea he can't always take her for granted. You are so my best commenter :*

They are at the point where their relationship s undergoing major changes..changes palpable to them...n now we will get to know whether these changes make their relationship stronger or makes them drift apart...The way things are shaping up..they gonna be drifted apart for some time. But I hope that when they do get together..it's satisfying to everyone.

Avi comes in too..in small doses is good enough...Avi has to be there, he plays a major part. But since I can't divert from RaHi's POVs, he'll be seen through either Panchi or RV's eyes. Which is good I guess..at least he won't be butchered :|

Loved the small little details that you have added...like the apple bit n sophiya's thoughts too. Sophia tou my jaan! <3

Liked this part mais... loving the way you concentrate on innermost thoughts n reactions of these two...makes for thoughtful reading truly. That's just my style...being all descriptive about the feelings than the environment..glad you like it!

Thanks a lot for this entire rewrite...loving the way you are taking it forward... this was about an incident which will definitely define their bond or the lack of it in future...I am just hoping that this Rewrite won't disappoint anyone..it's kind pressurizing 😆

Originally posted by: ARandKJFan

As promised xP WHOOPIEE!!

Chapter 3:

Her dream. Still not complete is it? She wanted to be with her buddies. She's there with them, yet so alone. Sometimes I think she bought it upon herself.

I SO wanted this phase of RaHi where they're distant and Panchi gathers up her feelings and straightens them out. She's been his shadow for so long that somewhere down the line, her identity became Nonu's best friend. Same, same, SAME! We got glimpses of her self dependency but nothing concrete or permanent! And it sucked!

Her true potential was seen only by Junglee which I always felt bad about. Even in the buddies, Ranveer was always given a higher importance than Panchi while all others were equal. Now that you say it, yes. The reason being ke Panchi was always painted as someone who was maturer than everyone else hence she didn't need much help. Which isn't true. She had her issues but no one noticed them because all the time she was so busy in solving others' problems that she forgot to concentrate on her own. JJ at least noticed them and helped her a bit but it wasn't enough.

Darkness. This had so many meanings. It could be the energy, it could be the anger, it could be his disappointment and it could be how hurt he was. I love it when there are multiple meanings. <3

Formed in royal and broken so royally= Maisy, this line was brilliant. I just like such kinds of lines. I don't know why, I just do. I do sometimes surprise myself by these kind of gems 😆

I like your Panchi so much more than the one in TBP. There, Panchi was aware of what was happening but she always tried to get the two groups to become friends which always failed, leaving her disheartened. Here, she did try because she cares but speaking to them again and again would be a waste of her time and they would eventually stop listening to her about everything. Heck, if Jaitley couldn't do it, how could she? She was always the selfless kind, putting everyone else before herself. That was the Panchi of S1. Though she had her selfishness like we all humans do, it was never acted upon. This Panchi, the one in my story, doesn't let her selfishness hide away in the cages she has built. She lets it out, lets it control her. I am not saying this is the right thing to do for her but it's a human thing. She is becoming human in this FF. It's always better to live as a human in this world.

And now to RV.

He just doesn't know how to express his feelings. It's always been that simple. He's affectionate, sure but his mind has always been clouded by confusion, at times revenge, or he's been blinded by his girlfriends (serious ones). Hence, he never really understood what happened between his best friend and himself. (Totally my P.O.V) I agree with this. He is so dependent on the status quo of his relationship with Panchi that he can't deal with change well. Bits and pieces of change baffled him, ab tou the change is gonna be drastic. He is going to have a tough time figuring it out.

That is my conclusion to how RV is in your FF. Again, his definition of a man is different. If Panchi thought he was becoming a man, sure, she would have been there. Yeah..she would've been there. It's what she always wanted. And she will be there. Once he does become a man like that.

And as for YaRa, Shazzy will love this 😆 If she reads it 😳

The last two lines pretty much sums up what I expected of RaHi in the show. He never did care enough and she cared too much. Now, it's becoming neutralized. 😆

Chapter 4:

I loved this chapter, from the beginning to the end. It was a bit long..I was trying to squeeze in too much in it.

'It's nice'. This Panchi. <3 If she was mesmerized, it wouldn't have been as good. His songs, which were previously for her and most importantly, for himself was now for a competition. He was doing something he gained joy from, now for the sake of winning. Okay, honestly I didn't think of it that way but your interpretation makes sense as well (which makes me so happy because I don't want this to be just for leisurely reading..if it can start discussion and different interpretations, it makes me so happy!! <3 <3 <3) His songs, which used to be the tunes of all the emotions he dared not say out aloud have now turned into something very vengeful. Deep down, he isn't that guy. She knows it, he's avoiding it. Being mesmerized would be the last thing on her mind hearing such a song.

All that's ringing in my head is *why wasn't this in TBP?* I'm serious Mais. This whole song sequence should have been in the show. The impact would have been so much larger. Though I liked the song played in the show (and it would've been impossible for this song to play), I wanted her performance to be slightly well played out. It was first big moment for Panchi in the canon, the step to her major development. The effects should've been bigger.

Independent. Panchi. Free Bird. Something I've always associated with the name and this character in S2 after the competition. Same.

Dhakkans. I've always disliked them. Excluding Avi of course. He was butchered later on but in the earlier stages, I liked him. Hope I won't butcher him, that's not the plan. He has to be there. As a mistake or a lesson, not sure but he has to be there. His little reaction has got him involved now.

Then the performance.

Your control over the language makes everything so much more special. Just try my best.

I can't say anything about Randhir's  (RANVEER! Uss sexist loser ka naam yahan na lo dude!! :@ Sorry if you offended but urgh! Just..urgh!) emotions when she was singing. It couldn't be more perfect. You know your man best. It was a big moment for her and he can't not be affected by anything that affects her so. I couldn't help the big details.

Avi saying Wow gave me so many ViChi feels. <3 They'll always hold a special place in my heart. My first post on IF, my first OS and my first work of fiction was on ViChi. How much more can add to this? At one point of time, I loved them more than RaHi because of the butchering of RV's character. Dude, my feelings for ViChi were the same! Never did I think that I would so happily ship Panchi with anyone else but RV but Avi's, "Princess" nearly about slayed me. I shipped them with all my heart, was near to tears when she said, "You make my heart, skipped a beat." Then it went all kapoot later on but jo bhi mila...it was precious.

And yes, last line again.

Your finishing is amazing. 

Enough said. I know that if I know how I want to end something, getting there makes it all worthwhile. Idk if that made sense xD

PS. This comment is mostly ranting. Sorry for that. It's not, I loved it!

PPS. Great job. Thank you!
PPPS. Sorry for the awful comment. It's not! ILOVEDIT!!

Originally posted by: spicySugar..

Originally posted by: Mystique.Kishi

Batool, just so you know this is my first time venturing into the TBP forum and it is for you.!!!!! Main kitni awesome hu naa for loving you so much???? 😃 Yeah! I lou it when you shower your lou on me like this 😳

Okay, so I really respect the writers who gave us Rahi and when I say this, I say it with all due respect that you are better.  *blink* *blink some more* This is honestly saying too much and I am super flattered..Like a hundred times better.  *goes all red with blushing* And I honestly believe that season 2 should have been given to you. Rahi ka in season 1 , I get ...Their whole story was building up to that point when Panchi ka accident happens. After that accident both of them were supposed to grow. Their relationship should have changed. The promos were so encouraging when Panchi said she wants to discover herself. Even the start was good but somewhere along the way the story deviated majorly from that track. Like you said, it started off on a really super promising note but then it went all meh-ish..which is really such a tragedy because S2 had all the raw material for one hell of a show had all the characters been given the justice they deserved...which they didn't and..eff it, such an old argument -_-

This is what I wanted ...Panchi ka gradual move towards finding her own legs...Like a bird unfurling its wings... And as hard as it may be for some people to acknowledge, this rift between Rahi was completely essential. The age old wisdom, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Here the distance would've been seemingly insignificant but miles in reality. For Panchi to find herself it was absolutely essential for her to move away from Ranveer. Yes to that! Panchhi since childhood had made herself a siamese twin of RV. Her persona had merged with that of his and her world revolved around him. Unfortunately RV never acknowledged that. And for him to see Panchi as a seperate person she needed to move away. For him to acknowledge her needs and not just believe that it is the same as his, she needed to show him that. Him ignoring her but yet not willing to let her go is so typical RV. Sorry, but Icould not muster sympathy for him. He loves Panchi...I accept that. What he needed to learn was respect her. Bless these words, truly bless 'em! She moved and bended to fit his desires and he took it all for granted. Their fight in S1 happened all because of it because for once she didn't bend to accommodate him and stood firm. Of course the RV in S2 grew up from that point and learned to let her go her way despite being uncomfortable and hurt about it. He learned to respect her only when she demanded it. The fault lied both ways..

You did that so beautifully. Also, the gradual widening of the gulf...In the previous chapters, there were cracks and I hope Ranveer realises that there are cracks..That they are drifting away before the crack becomes a gulf. He will, he has to. She will make sure that he does. But I think it will happen. It will become a gulf. Because honestly, at times your man is too blind. I honestly can't argue with that! Also, I liked how you showed that the seperation was not a done in one fight thing...friends drift away gradually and so your rendition in addition to being flawless is wonderfully realistic...Keep writing Mais. I am counting on you to give me the story I wanted on Rahi. And till now I am a satisfied viewer...😃 Despite all the angst, I am trying to keep this all in character. The drifting away is almost done, I think the next chapter will seal it all off. Them in one room but miles away. Something the show never gave me despite promising me that it will. Well, that's what this FF is all about! Super happy that you commented Ahmed! Any time something doesn't fit right, just tell me! Suggestions are always welcome! And I am so happy that you didn't use comic sans in the comment! :*

Originally posted by: tinaswea

It was superb!

Uh are awesome!

 Keep writing

** lots of love **

Tina 😊

Originally posted by: ARandKJFan

Originally posted by: spicySugar..