Originally posted by epiphany.
On the face of it, I don't believe believing this will do me harm long as I live where I do and see the things happening around me that I do.
I despise the basic concept of Father in India. We've all seen our fathers enter our lives on Sunday and leave for the next six days. But it'd now be interesting to know that the man in the house loses his superiority status faster than you can blink. Say for example if he has no active source of income anymore. You should listen to all the respectful things people in his family have to say for him now, man, woman and child alike. Nonetheless, I do not think a father can make you into a chauvinist, if so, not in the early years of your life. It's always the mother or the aunt or the grandmother. Because just like you highlighted, the fathers are either never there or even if they are they keep their distance from woman things like bringing their children up. I cannot put my finger on one reason why I dislike men the most, there's so many. And as much I dislike a lot of females too, it's easy for me to tell you which kind - the females who are concerned with only the societal roles that everybody has. Her son has to be dominating and get his way round the world. Her daughter is so not attending college. Her husband's only good as long as he's getting money for the household, after that, whatever the reasons may have been, he's a useless person and she doesn't oblige to give him tea and water and his food anymore. And even if there's no one left in the house who has an income, she won't step out because that's not for her to do.
Kankshita, tell me something, why would the wife always get tea, food, water whatever to her husband? Because that's her gender role right? Who confers these roles? Women? Well it's the patriarchy that does it. And now you are saying why should a woman go against that gender role she plays? 😲
Tell me how is the woman rewarded for her labour in the domestic space? The kitchen, bringing up the children, sending them to school, serving the husband, serving him in bed, bearing the children, being obedient to the in laws? She doesn't receive a wage, does she? However cruel it is, but if a husband sits at home then he should fetch his own glass of water, because the one work he is needed to do is earn money. That's his gender role too.
And women do step out for their families, I've seen that. Anyway that's not even the argument.
You're saying a father doesn't have a role in fostering chauvinism. Boys become chauvinistic when they see their fathers ill-treating their mothers. And the discrimination that is meted out by the highest female in the family going by hierarchy, also has the man's consent in it. Boys can party all night but if a daughter doesn't come home by 9, the father will ask for an explanation from the mother.
The mother or the wife is not a free living being herself. She seldom takes independent decisions. She always needs permission from the husband or the in laws. Because she is not economically independent. The man is. He earns, he keeps his money and he makes the decisions. While we believe it's the mother making those tough decisions, it's the father who manipulates although not visible all this while.