why do some people look down at girls who have child out of wedlock or - Page 4

This content was originally posted by: twila

Those some people are generally the people of the east. Us. Nobody care's in the west whether a teen got pregnant, a married woman got pregnant, a woman who is dating got pregnant, it's all the same to them. It is in countries sporting Hindu and muslim majorities where this is a serious thing. These kind of girl's are considered unclean and not pavitra whereas the boy escape's all the PUBLIC humiliation scot free. This is another kind of gender discrimination. I think that's why these cases are very remote in India, Pakistan and the middle east. I don't know why people do it... 

This content was originally posted by: -bLEu98-

While I do agree to some of the things you said, I think you need to retrospect on the rest. Are you sure the west is this epitome of gender equality? Well it is not. They are only slightly advanced, but yes, women are harassed there as well. Believe it or not. And Christianity isn't exactly very kind on women too, neither in the west nor in India. Yes in India the situation is far more severe. I'd agree that majority of Western men are more well-behaved than Indians (personal experience and I'm Indian). But bigotry regarding the female body is very much present in the west and elsewhere in the world for that matter. In fact Europe is better than the US. I'd say. So I suggest that if you must speak about religion in your argument, you should speak of all the aspects and find out a little more before you do.

This content was originally posted by: twila

I did not say anything about religion. And neither did I say the west is the epitome of gender equality. It is not. Women there are harassed as well, you say, and I agree, but rarely is it about non marital pregnancies. Out of the 41 percent of out of the wedlock births, a mere 7 percent of the births were considered a disgrace by christian churches, and believe me, I have researched extensively on this topic. 

This content was originally posted by: -bLEu98-

Umm first of all the contemporary interpretation of Hindu values certainly do not put women in a good place. We see how extremist Hindu parties curb the rights of women in the public sphere. Same goes for all other religions. Religion is always used as a ploy against women. Anyway, this has less to do with any particular religion and more to do with culture. And I agree on the Victorian point.

Yes,my point exactly, it is the "contemporary interpretation" of Hindu values that leads to such problems..

But what is 'proper selection of mate'? How do Indian girls do that? 😕 I'm Indian and a girl too. I don't understand.

haha... ok , ok.. if u read my previous post, u would know that i went on rambling about retained evolutionary ideologies.. 😆... so my concept of "proper selection of mate" & "femininity" was based on the those ideologies...as in being careful who u mate with & selecting the best possible mate keeping everything in perspective- devotion, sincerity, status, power, money, faithfulness of the mate ,nothing shallow about it, it is a girl's right to choose the best possible mate 4 herself which has been reserved for girls through ages, guys have to prove their worth..n if the girl ends up getting pregnant in the process b4 the commitment is declared publicly through marriage (?!), the girl is looked down upon..i believe that everybody in the modern human society consciously or sub-consciously still adheres by the evolutionary concept of "femininity"  or "masculinity"  wherein everybody secretly agrees with themselves that " yeah if the girl was all for it, why wouldnt the guy go 4 it?, she let him in & he went for it, she should have known better.."... i know it sounds horrible but i feel that such perception is the root cause of such a biase nature of the general population..

As for the Indian girls, arranged marriage is still very much in practice ( which i m not sure if i support..but the best thing would be Love-Arranged marriage or Arranged-Love marriage 😊), so the security of the girls is taken well care of by the parents..i know, it sounds a bit like spoon feeding..i do feel that choosing a mate should b done strictly on the basis of natural intuition & attraction.. but thats not to say that arranged marriages today dont allow any scope for attraction..it does..especially in my home state Kerala where female literacy & arranged marriage is a norm.. arranged marriage do not take place without the concent of the future bride & groom.. so thats that..

And what is the 'rebellious lifestyle' of the west? 

In order to understand "the rebellious lifestyle of the west" here, one also needs to carefully analyze how kids are brought up in the west..please note that, this is not to prove one lifestyle is better than other or something like that bcoz each lifestyle has its own pros & cons..

there is a culture in the west that as soon as kids hit puberty, they are to start their own life even going as far as labeling those who do not manage to loose their virginities by high schools as "loosers"..moreover, by the time these kids turn 18 , their parents become all too eager to get them out of their house & push them into their own individual life & leave the parents in peace..it is a matter of utter shame if a 20 yr old still lives with his parents..so this kind of detaching approach is bound to push the kids in drugs, alcohol & early sexual experiments leading to a rebilious life style..Indian parents on the contrary hold on to their kids at every possible opportunity; highly educated & earning individuals continue to live with their parents to look after them n c it as a matter of pride instead of shame..however, there is demerit here as well, Western children may become rebellious due to their society & circumstances but Indian children continue to be "mama's boy or daddy's girl' for a long period of time..

And what's the definition of femininity? How can anyone decide if Western women are more feminine or Eastern? It's their culture right?

"femininity"  & "masculinity" cannot be defined in one single definition..its definition varies with the context it is used in.. as for the current context, i have already explained "femininity"  in the answer to above question..😊

Yes, it is absurd to compare the women in west & east as there is a major culture differnce..however our evolutionary ideologies are one , & if one is to base such global parameters for the sake drawing comparisons , then i feel it is completely justified..feel free to disagree..😊

Rebellion isn't bad. A conformist attitude is. And if somebody rebels against the established order, how can that be held against him or her?

True,nobody said anything otherwise...

Moreover whether somebody finds a properly selected mate or a leads a rebellious life, it's their shit, not the society's.

True, if only more people practiced this..

I think you are contradicting your own argument of equality here. Thing is a man's 'rebellious', non-conformist lifestyle is not held against him, while a woman's is, only due to her anatomy, her body. That is Unfair. That's not equality. 

That's the argument.

hmmm.. i c it now..that explains it !.. that explains how u arrived at the last two questions..me thinks u & many others failed to grasp the intention of my post.. it was meant to explain Y I FEEL SUCH BIAS IN SOCIETY EXISTS WHEN IT SHOULDNT..i was merely putting forth my analysis of reasons for such absurd attitude of the society...