Originally posted by Quixotic5
yes the matriarchy in Kerala is majorly based on matrilineal inheritance, a concept known as "Marumakkathayam"..but y "only"?...is it a matter of such humble importance.?... but its more than just "matrilineal inheritance", the "Marumakkathayam" system in itself gave birth to a lot of worthy ideologies in Kerala Hindu Society-
1. Female foeticide is the lowest in Kerala because unlike other states in India, Kerala has a general belief that it is the daughter & not the son per se who carries forward the generation..
2. Daughters have special place in Hindu Kerala society, it is seen as an extremely satisfying & honorable thing to raise a daughter & see her well settled in life of luxury.
3. A Daughter's education unlike other states in India has always been & continues to be of utmost importance.
4.Daughters are not encouraged to sit behind walls of their home but to go out & prove their worth either in the field of education or in the field of arts but ofcourse its done under strict watch of the parents.
5. Parents are generally partial towards daughters ( double standards) even in simple matters of life besides inheritence..
6. There is a "Tarvadu" system in Kerala which is somewhat similar to "Khandaan" ..a child is given its father's first name as its last name but its "Tarvadu" or "Khandaan" name or "sir name" is that of the mother..
So no, Kerala Hindu Society does not follow the patriarchal structure like the rest of the Hindu communities or better yet , like the rest of the world..it has always been an exception there...however, giving freedom to the girls does not mean they are allowed to roam around & party at night, bcoz with every form of liberty given to the daughters, parents make sure that their daughters r well secured & away from dangerous situations..
This is your culture so you'd know better of course.
But I do know a thing or two about Kerala society too since I visit the place almost every year.
And my best friend is a Nair, we talk about society and culture and status of women all the time.
And according to him, Kerala's matriarchal society is a hypocrisy. His words, don't hold it against me. 😛
And I have observed that matrilineal inheritance does little to better the status of women in Kerala. And it doesn't cover the Hindu society as a whole. Only the Nairs, who are handful.
Yes the statistics are enviable and makes me wish we had it in our state.
But I wonder how much of it is due to the HIndu Nair customs. From my findings I see it has more to do with the communist reforms in the state (which worked very well in Kerala given its demography and the fact that it is a much smaller state but failed in WB- my state)
Also with due respect to your culture, Kerala society is very much in the clutches of patriarchy, like the rest of the regions in India. And I've seen it for myself. I've been to almost every part of Kerala, be it Cochin, Kottayam, Calicut, Thrissur, Alleppey,Wayanad because I've friends in all of these places and nowhere I found the society that you describe. Neither among Hindus, nor Christians nor Muslims. I've seen how daughters are treated (my own friends) and the parents are certainly not partial to the daughters. They are just like how parents should be. But nothing like they regard bringing up daughters as extremely satisfying like you say. 😛 I've seen the eagerness of parents to marry off their daughters when they turn twenty-two, twenty-three. Happened/happening with almost all my friends. I've witnessed discrimination based on caste, religion, skin colour too. Not accepting a daughter's choice of life partner because he is too dark is also patriarchy.
Daughters are asked to get married after their BA/MA while the son is sent for MBA after B.Tech.
Daughters are discouraged many a time to go out of the state to study. My classmate was coerced into marriage in exchange of her parents allowing her to get a Ph.d.
I'm sure there are exceptions. But the picture you painted is not true either.
Even the malayalee women I've as friends don't believe that they have this kind of freedom or respect. They feel stifled at home and don't want to leave the campus. They all received higher education, but along with that came the parental pressure to get married too. Two of my classmates got married last summer.
I know of Tharavadu and also the history of the Nairs which has its roots in the sexual exploitation of the Nair women by the Brahmins.
And lastly, I think respect is allowing the daughter to choose if she wants to party at night or stay at home. Also I don't think partying all night denotes modernity or staying at home stands for adherence to traditional values. We choose to think that these are the binaries.
And again, Kerala doesn't really have a very urban space too where women do these things. Even in Trivandrum, the capital city, I found very few women on the streets around 9 in the night.
I respect the Kerala society for a lot of other things- the films, art, literature, the intelligentsia, and simply because Kerala is my second home and I love the food. In fact I feel at home more in Kerala than my own hometown, but those reasons, my friend, are not entirely founded upon the facts and exaggerated.
Just my observations. Please do not be offended. 😊
-Rini
