bookworm-ALS-- thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

The water envelopes me, covers me all the way till my head. I cannot breathe, I must not breathe. The water will get into my lungs, and it will kill me.  I flail my limbs, trying to come up to the surface, but there are ropes tied to my legs, pulling me down, stopping me from taking in oxygen.

I have never learnt to swim, but I try my best to. I cannot scream from help, because that would make me open my mouth, and water would get into my lungs...

I cannot take it anymore. I have to breathe, I need to breathe. I open my mouth.

I am almost unsurprised when the water gushes into my mouth. It tastes salty, like death.

I am falling, falling deeper.

My throat is clogged, a terrible choking feelings taking hold of me. So this is how I die...

Fleetingly, I think of my diary, left in my room, at the place which was once my home. Will someone read it after I am gone? What will they think?

I hear my sister's voice, laughing. "Someday I'll die and then you'll miss me. Won't you?"

My own reply, a refusal to take her seriously, "No, I'll throw a party." Will she throw a party , too, to celebrate my death? That would be nice. I would like people to be happy. Not that people would be sad at my death.

 

I gulp again, inspite of the searing pain in my chest.

Water fills my mouth and throat, and I close my eyes...

An arm around my waist. Something- someone- is stopping me from falling any further.

It is black, the sea is black, and I cannot see anything, cannot be sure of anything.

I  take the person's hand,  knowing it will be useless- the ropes around my legs are too strong to overcome.  Whoever it is, must be hoping to save me. I must try as much as I can , for this person.

 

The person drags me up, somehow, to the surface. I gulp, taking in air. Yet, it is only for seconds, and I am pulled down into the darkness again, and my would-be savior tries to hold my waist, but I no longer hold that hand.

The darkness envelopes me, covering me from all sides.

As I succumb , I think of the person who tried to save me, as I close my eyes.

Maybe, some other life... If I ever get to meet this person, I will thank him..or her. A thanks for trying to save a person who was clearly dying. A thanks for caring for a stranger... for me. For someone, who has forgotten what it feels like to be cared for...

 

My would- be saviour tugs  me up to the surface again. The ropes holding me down are hacked away, and I rise up.

My eyes are closed, but I see the person. She looks like an angel. Perhaps I am in heaven after all...




A/N : What do you think?



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ChaiBiskoot thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
The climax had me! Brilliant work there .. I almost thought this would go the cliched way.. a savior - a human ofc πŸ˜† .. u simply played with those words πŸ‘
bookworm-ALS-- thumbnail
Anniversary 12 Thumbnail Group Promotion 7 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: ChaiBiskoot

The climax had me! Brilliant work there .. I almost thought this would go the cliched way.. a savior - a human ofc πŸ˜† .. u simply played with those words πŸ‘


Thanks! The end is supposed to be open ended, so you can form your own conclusion. In my mind, the protagonist is dead.πŸ˜›
bookworm-ALS-- thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: shweta2728

Wow that was beautiful!


Thank you so much😳
.Rhapsody. thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Reserved.
 
I'm out of station right now. Getting home next week. :)

Hey!
Sorry about the rather long delay. Haven't quite kept well these past few days after getting back home.

On to the OS.

This was good, like really good!
But I kinda liked the previous ones a teeny tiny bit more. :)
Though I loved the fact that you didn't make it the typical saving type story.
You let her drown.
Coz sometimes, we aren't saved, even though efforts are made to do so.

The emotions were in their right place like usual.
But again, it didn't hit home that hard like the previous ones did.
But a good job done, Shreya! :D

Love,
Maya.
Edited by .Rhapsody. - 9 years ago
bookworm-ALS-- thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
^Thank you, Mugsy! Even to my mind, it looked a bit messy, but I couldn't change it no matter what I did. LOL.
Thanks again though.
Effervescent_R thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
This is amazing...
the struggle for life ..beautifully described
a saviour?
Or was it the reaper??
I dont know why but reading this OS reminded me of d song
dont fear the reaper by AC/ DC!!
bookworm-ALS-- thumbnail
Anniversary 12 Thumbnail Group Promotion 7 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 9 years ago
bookworm-ALS-- thumbnail
Anniversary 12 Thumbnail Group Promotion 7 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: ..Serendipity..

This is amazing...
the struggle for life ..beautifully described
a saviour?
Or was it the reaper??
I dont know why but reading this OS reminded me of d song
dont fear the reaper by AC/ DC!!




Oh...haven't heard the song..will check it out :)
In my mind, it's the saviour, but you can decide which you like best :)

Thank you so much for commenting