Out of my hands
Part 2
The days that follow after Shant's demise are morose and emotionally
burdensome for both father and son.. Understandably the nurturing female has
passed, leaving the two males to fend for themselves. Damoder soon realizes
that Dutta is still an infant who needs his mother. Many times during the day
the child would cling to his legs, and Damoder would have to console him by
clasping Dutta to his heart and wipe away many a tears from his eyes.
But Damoder as a single parent more so, accepts that this is hard
work, answering his child's questions, "babba maa kab aye ge? Aye, kahan
hai..?
To every question of Dutta, his father, he brushed Dutta's thick black
hair back from his broad forehead and replied with the best possible answers he
could supply.This moment Damoder points to the sky outside their shanty kholi..
"dekh Dutta, teri Aye woh dor aasman par bhagwan ke pas gaye
hai", but no sooner he finishes, Dutta
fires another question, "babaa Aye kyon gaye aasman par?"..he smiles
patiently and furnishes Dutta with yet
another answer.
"kyon ke Dutta, tere Aye ko bhagwan ne buliya tha"..
kyon buliya?kya kam tha? asks the innocent eyed Dutta.
Never ending, are his lad's queries, this is getting tedious by the
second! his son will never stop, so Damoder just held him by the hand and said
firmly,
"sun Dutta ab tu edhur chup chap leit jam mera pas! aur sau ja!..
Dutta takes his father's face in his palms, narrows his eyes and
confirms,
"kya aaj se tum meri Aye ho babba, pun tumhari tu darhi
hai.."
Damoder had to
chuckle.."bhaut bhankas kerta hai re tu! chal sau ja ab, subah chalien ge,
mandir".
Both father and son lay side by side on the small cot bed that his
wife and young Dutta's mother occupied not so long. Soon his son rolls over to
his side and pushes his chubby little warm body against his father's side and
dozes off.. Damoder leans over affectionately, pats his son to sleep and
notices Dutta has bunched up one of his mother's sari against his little body..
as a security cloth.. poor little mite! muses Damoder sadly, tries desperately
himself, to sleep. He is envious of his son who sleeps without a problem next
to him. But their future's uncertainty, without Shanti of course , gives him
sleepless nights.
That night Shanti comes in his dream, disappointment and discontent on
her face.. she reminds him of his promise,
"deko ji, ab mere liye roona band karo, aur mera Dutta ke kal ke
liye soocho.. uske hatoon ke taqat ko jano! kuch tu karo ap...
~~~~~~~
Damodar has another problem looming on his head..that of child care.With Dutta's mother, despite her illness, Damodar
still knew his deceased wife did care for Dutta , but with her not around it's nothing
short of taking a risk by leaving the infant on his own while he goes to work
in the fields.
Well wishers like neighbours do offer, looking after the child.A few
of them were women folk whose husbands had abandoned them. For Damoder, this is
concerning, as he wishes not to give any such vibes that he is lookout for a
new wife.. it is bad enough that his young child has to cope with the absence
of his mother.. and see his father, now in a maternal role. Seeing, now another
stranger in the role of his new mother as it may look to him.. will for sure
traumatise Dutta even more.
Eventually it's the men in his community, who suggest Damoder needed
to go see Shakuntala, put his predicament before her, as he was missing too
many days off work too..
Damodar heeds, to the advice of the people, but before that, being
prompted by faith, he felt had to go to
the mandir to seek pandit ji's blessings..
Dutta receives the pandit's warm touch and blessings on his head,
smiles with shy pull of his lips to one
side and makes a beeline towards the mud pit under the bunyan tree..
"Dutta! areee! kapre na gunde karna..!yells his father. Dutta
stops, looks back.. and waves at his father in the distance behind.. looks down
at the mud pit, bites, his lower lip from the side, narrows his eyes ..leans, lowers
his fingers in the soft mud, and scoops up a fist full of gooey soil.. looks it
in his pasty palm and then pivots ,flares his nostrils and begins to smack the
tree trunk with mud bombs! formed frantically by him one after the other! in
rage he grit his teeth and screams,
"ye le! tu! meri Aye ...meri Aye! he chants nonsensically.. he licks away the tears that stream on his
face...till out of breath he stops his mad grief..
Hot tired and in a bather!
Dutta turns to walk away back to his father, but looks at his moist muddy
palms.. a fire in him, motivates him to revert back to the mud pit , and before
he knows it he somehow ended with a ball of mud.. his tubby fingers move,
slide, squelch, squish and squash, the ball of mud and the form of a figure again emerges in his hands.
Something possesses him and he reels around to face the tree trunk and
with great force hurls the mud figure straight at the sturdy tree trunk.. the
splat! of the figure against the coarse bark of the tree, gives him an odd
pleasure.
He takes a step back, stands with his chubby legs slightly apart, and
with a drop to his lips to one side.. nods at the sight of the tree trunk now
splattered with small dollops of mud blobs!
Dutta! ye kya kiya tune ? asks Damoder rather tersely, as he saunters
over with pandit ji, Dutta bawls and runs off.Pandit ji turns to Damoder, who
looks helpless.
"tum ne dekha , gussa hai is mein damodar, apne bte ko abhi he
sambal lo, ye na ho daer ho jaye , Damoder ", warns the man of god.
~~~~~~~~~
Without further delay Damoder, takes Dutta to his Shakuntala Patil's
house.. They stand before the under construction
house, surrounded by concrete mixers, elevated scaffolds. Labourers like ants, follow
one after the other to and fro, as they carry deep curved cement basins full of
wet mortar balanced on their heads.
Dutta stretches his head upwards as his eye falls on the huge dome on
the main faade of the house.. two columns already stand boldly and act as
support for the carved slab base upon
which rests the huge dome which is the focal point of the house. Dutta looks in
awe at the under construction mansion.. and suddenly lets go off his fathers hand, then
cranks his neck , raises his head and questions his father,
"ye kiska ghar hai babba?.Damoder feels the top of Dutta's hot
and sweaty head, and replies,
"Dutta, woh mere boss ke baiko hai, ab tu aache se unse milna,
koi lothcha nehi! edhur udher nehi baghna! smajha tu." warns his father,
Dutta lowers his head and winces, quietly,"hummm"..
The guards at the door, hear out who Damoder is and why he desires to
see Aye Sahib..as she is commonly known. They deduce it's work related as he is
her employee.. so eventually he is let in.
Aye Sahib or Shakuntala Patil, currently lives in the section of the
under construction, which can be called the annexe or out house. She and her
three daughters live cramped up, but there is hope of better days to come once
their under construction home is complete. She usually doesn't receive
visitors. She isn't sure herself why she agrees to grant this man with a young
child an audience.
Her daughters all three of them eye this boy clad in a white vest and
khaki shorts with flip flops on his toes..one look at him and the man probably his
father tells the girls, they are poor folk. One look at their mother's benign
smile also tells the girls their Aye is impressed by this little boy who stands
straight and tall, his arms by his side, his round bottom at the back and his
sweaty bare chest under the low neck vest both
sticking out!
Aye Sahib, beckons him by her hand, "ah ja! Dutta looks up to his
father, who nods. Dutta senses a kindness about this lady dressed in a fine
silk sari. He walks smartly too her, his father had said behave so he stood
before the woman.. his face fixed and eyes slightly narrowed.
"kya nam hai tumhara? he hears her say , her voice sounds kind
too, like his mothers.. and his eyes
round up and he replies.. Dutta..
then after a pause he turns and points to his father, "ye mere
babba hai, aur meri Aye bhagwan ke ghar chli gaye hai , bhagwan ne use buliya
tha" ,he says in one go.
Shakuntala is so overcome by this bonny infant that she curves her arm
towards him and says simply,"aah ja
Dutta , humara pas..". his narrow eyes twinkle and he veers to the kindly
lady, rests his folded arm on her shoulder and pulls back his head a little to
look into her smiling face, she kisses his forehead as she tightens her arm
around his young but strong back..
Her daughters, watch this boy and Kala the oldest, calls out
"Aye! humien bhi tu khalien de is larke ke saath..
Dutta moves away from the old lady and just stands.. waiting to be
approached. Kala moves to him and grabs his hand.. "come Dutta! don't be
shy! that he is, he was the only child , the only woman he knew was his own
mother.. and little girls.. never talks to any let alone play with them.. but
the littlest girl pulls his arm and
forces him, "don't be shy like a girl, chal! let's go to the
garden!
~~~~~~~~~~
Shakuntala, is all ears now to
Damoder's plight. She understands that he worked for her husband for a good
many years, and now he wishes to continue working to make an honest living for
him and his young son Dutta.
The conversation is interrupted by the arrival of pandit ji. He
ofcourse is pleased to note that Damoder
acted on his advice and is here before Aye Sahib to discuss his son's
future. It seems to pandit ji that Damoder as yet hasn't mentioned Dutta's
welfare. Pandit ji deduces, may be Damoder as a father feels that if he
mentions his child's care while he works.. he will be seen to fall short of his
paternal duties.. so now as a revered figure of the community it is left upon
him to apprise Aye Sahib about her employees circumstances.
Aye Sahib wipes a tear from the corner of her eye with her pallu, and
gives her opinion..
"hum ye soochte hain.. damoder, ke tum kam pe jata raho.. pun
Dutta ko hamra pas chorna, roz.. kuch waqat mein jab ye hamra saath khol mil
jata hai, tab lambhi saama ke liye rehe
sakte hai..school bhi jaye ga Kala, Leela aur Roops ke saath.. iske maa ke
khohish hum pure karien ga"
Damoder, is eternally grateful to this woman, her husband was generous
and sensitive to the needs of the lowly.. and it seems now his wife relays her
husband's qualities too.
Outside in the garden there stood a sand pit, normally dry and coarse
due to the heat.. but yesterday's shower leaves it moist and damp. Dutta went
straight for it.. legs apart! bottom on the wet sand! arms folded and hands
busy feeling ,pressing and checking the consistency of how well the sand held
it together!
Aye Sahib's daughters just watch him from around the pit, he just cuts
them out of mind and begins to form shapes, presses his thumb, to style the
image that comes up in his mind.. a four legged creature. With a firm body and
a face, a snout, eyes and then pinches halo surrounding the face.. he rolls a
little bit of sand carefully and firmly smoothes it behind the back of the
animal.. arghhh!! he roars! as from the sandpit he gently holds up the sand
model to the interested girls..
Kala asks, "ye kiya buniya hai tum ne Dutta..? he repeats a argghhh! and replies, "yeeeh jai Ammba ka
sher hai! and he passes it to Roops,
"lo ge? kateta nehi hai! "
Roops holds out her palm and receives the work of his little hands. Kala
crouches near the sand pit and asks, Dutta , "ghar bunao mere liye"
that was not to difficult ,provided the sand retains the form he gives
it..within seconds he erects two walls and packs and pats them so they stand he
studies it , and stops and turns to Kala.."ab tumhe ye thek lagta hai? Leela
laughs, "no silly it needs a back wall and a roof". Dutta stretches
his arms above the two side walls and then scoops and pushes his a heap of sand
and packs it behind the two walls.. for the ceiling he has to think a bit again
, wasn't sure if the two walls could withstand a load of sand on the top.. so
he fills the vacuum between the two walls
with a block of sand and flattens the top.. with his tiny fingertips he
dents and curves the sand around the make belief windows.
Finally he makes the door with a little pressure on the sand with his
chubby fingertip. With a dust and a rub of his hands, to get the grains of moist
sand off his hands, he cranks his head
to look at the girls and point to the house,
" tumhara ghar!, he shouts
at them with pride.. Leela demand more, "Dutta make me a babba doll and an
Aye doll!
Dutta looks
at her narrowly and replies.. with shake of his head, says,
"ek he
banye ga main..babaa ka putla! aye ka nehin! banye ga meri Aye nehi hai "
he tells the
three girls, with a wee crack to his
voice. But he leans and pats and presses, two solid heaps of sand , squeezes
the top, to the form a head and the
other the rest of the body, then he rolls four cylindrical part for the limbs and attaches two arms to the top section and two legs to the bottom section of the body!
So by the wonder of his hands and the impetus of his imagination he
gifts the three girls tokens of what he
Dutta is? a boy who creates forms with
his hands..
Kala runs inside suddenly and pulls her mother by the arm into the
garden. Damoder anxious comes too, in case Dutta has done something inappropriate.
Pandit ji accompanies them and he smiles at Aye Sahib and says,
"ap se zikar kiya tha maine
iske ke hatoon mein bhagwan ke
dein hai.. dekhien khel mein he isne kya buniya hai rait se.."Aye Sahib
decides then that she will pay for this boy's further tutelage to develop and
extend his skills..
~~~~~~~~~~
Once back to their shanty shack, Damoder explains to Dutta the arrangements for his child care.
The idea of being at left at the lady and the three girls house doesn't seem so
bad..
"haan babaa main jayega wahan , babaa tum aao ge na muhje lena
roz? he asks with his chubby dimple elbowed
arms around his father neck..Damoder looks down into his sons wide eyes,
"aye gana main, bas tu dil laga ke school jana , koi bhankas nehi
,samhaj gaye tu", Dutta lowers his
eyes and as he plays with his father's kurta button, goes,"hummm"..
From there on days change for young Dutta.. his Bappa's statue stays on his mother's trunk, as he thinks his
mother expects it to be there.. he did
make it for her after all. Damoder, would drop Dutta to Aye Sahib's house every
day on his way to work, and collect him on his way back. Dutta, crosses his
tubby dangling legs on the bike his father rides,"babaa tum aaoge na mujhe
lena?. Damoder, shakes his head, this boy and his questions, prompted by his
insecurity, does sadden him.. so as his father, he is duty bound to provide
emotional protection to his child..
"haan mera baache , kam ke baad tera babba zaroor Aye ga roz
thujhe lena.. bas tu aache se rehena.."
Life then follows a routine ..Dutta is eased into child care.. every
morning he, young Dutta gets dropped
and picked up at the end of the
day.
Every morning Aye Sahib would be ready for him with open arms.. and he
would run into them, press against her bosom and ask her if she is well?
"ap thek ho Aye Sahib?and she would laugh and say,
"haan Dutta hum kush hain
thujhe dekh ke, chal thujhe tayar kerte hoon, aaj tu school jaye ga.."
He giggles with a little chuckle as Aye shahib buttons his white
shirt.. she picks up the shorts , but he raises his palm at her,
"ye main khud phene ga! he went as he raises, one folded chubby
leg at a time and pushes them through the shorts and Aye Sahib says firmly ,"ab ye button mujhe lagna
de",but before her hands can get to his tummy, he does his button himself
and says.
"meri Aye na sekhiya hain mujhe button band kerna" and he
pushes his tummy forward to show her the swell job he has done.. she smiles at
him tenderly and ruffles his thick mop of hair, parts it at the side and
brushes it back slightly off his broad forehead from the other side." ab
jaldi je ye naya moza aur shoes phen le Dutta" ..she instructs kindly.
Aye Sahib, watches her daughters ,and Dutta pile into the big car..
however she notices that Dutta stands back till the girls get into the car
first... shuts the door and prefers to sit with the driver in the front seat..
Aye Sahib muses with a little
tear in her eye. it's good to have him.. he'll watch over the girls..
School life..is good fun for Dutta.. plenty to do, teachers soon
notice that the boy is of gentle disposition and above average in creative arts.
School for him is moulding clay models,
etching, painting , all colourful
objects seem attractive to him .. yet it was with clay that his soul spoke most
of what he feels inside.. a cry for his long gone mother. The classroom window
sills displays his models of Bappa in his
mother's lap... small models of goddess. The teachers can see where the gap is in
this little lads life..
Aye Sahib's daughters , are at
first encumbered by his presence in their home, their mothers gaining interest
in this total poor little stranger.But all this changes at school.. as Kala uses
him as weapon to ward off bullies!
Dutta often intervenes in sticky bullying situations..Roops he sees
surrounded by a group of boys pulling her satchel off her. Dutta walks up and
stands with his legs slightly apart and head to one side.. his narrowed
eyes glare,"chorro meri bhen ko!
nehin tu teacher ko bolta hoon! the bullies move away and Kala walks towards
Dutta. Being taller and older she puts her arm around his shoulder affectionately, and asks.
" Dutta tune mara kyon nehi unhe? Dutta turns his head and looks
at her face with his big innocent eyes,"Tai babba bole laria kerna buri
baat hai.." he says with a nod of his head.
At dinner time at home.. Kala tells her mother about Dutta's
protective behaviour towards them at school.Aye Sahib turns to him and feels
his cheek..
"aaj tera babaa Aye ga , use batien ge hum, tu bhaut hi aacha
larka hai.."
Dutta hears his fathers name and turns to look..and as his father is
still not there..to collect him, his face twists and his mouth pouts with his
cry..babaaa!!.. Kala gets up from her chair and holds his hand, Dutta "maat
roh ! tumhare babaa ate he hoon ge.."
Soon after Damoder does turn up and
Dutta runs to him crying babaaa! and puts his arms around his fathers legs..
Damoder bends to pick his son in his arms and kisses his forehead..
It is all good report about his behaviour and as they begin to leave.
Dutta squiggles to be put down.. and he walks slowly towards Aye Sahib and
stands before her, eying her with his mouth pulled to one side..."ahja Dutta"
she says with open arms and he then runs into them and turns his face up to
look at her,"main jaye Aye Sahib?, Aye Sahib smiles and replies,"haan
Dutta tu ja, pun kal ayeagana tu?he
nods," hummm.. aaye ga Aye Sahib..
Aye Sahib watches, both father and son leave. she muses, wouldn't mind
having this child for good, but then she can't be so cruel as to separate this
young lad from his father..
~~~~~~~~~
Damodar, browses in the busy
market area, looking for some sweet potatoes which he intends to boil for
dinner tonight and some sweets rusks for Dutta.. before he knew it the little
tyke had vanished. Damoder in panic looked around and to his relief and
surprise.. he saw Dutta with this little boy dressed in rags.. with big round
eyes. The boy sat on a low boundary wall erected around a shady tree protection
department. Dutta stood before the boy, wiping the lad's tears, offering him
the pav bhaji that Damoder had bought for his son..damoder warmed to see the
sight as he approaches the boys.. Dutta
cranks his solid neck and looked up at his father,
"ye bhooka hai babaa.. mein ise apna khane ka ek hasa de raha hoon..". The
boy looks up at Damoder and smiles nervously ,with a degree of fear that he
might be shooed away as a beggar.. ummh, which he was indeed. Damoder looks down
at the lad ,sweet looking , with dimples in his cheeks, fairly harmless..
Once Dutta had finished his act of charitable sharing, his father,
beckons him,
"chal Dutta! ghar chala bhi!"..
Dutta sticks his bottom out , pouts and points to the little boy he
had just fed,
"meri dost ka kya bune ga
babba?.. then he turned to Baji and asks,
"eye! teri maa hai kya?
the boy pulls a face and weeps.. "mere Aye babaa dono.. nehi hai..main
mandir ke pas rehta hoon.. ek pipe mein.."
Dutta's face fell at the sight
of this boy.. but a spark came to his eyes and he decides,
"phir tu ye humara saath chale ga babaa! Bappa kush hoon ge ju
iske madaat kerien ga!
Damoder, shakes his head.. this son of his, has a
heart of gold.. which has to be a good thing.. as he would rather see
his son happy then sad..
Damodar feeds the boys, not one now! but two.. this is one, is a one
off but not as long term. He has to make alternative arrangements for this other child , his son Dutta calls his friend...
as from today..
Damodar smiles as he sees both the boys asleep on woven mat spread
across the floor.. both facing the other way..Dutta with his arm tucked under
his head.. and the other with one arm folded
across the side of his belly..
~~~~~~~~~
At day break.. the place on the mat beside Dutta was empty. The boy
had gone!.. to be continued~ Hamlet53. 20.6.14
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