OS: I was lonely...

Posted: 9 years ago
hey all...
dats me Pari here again. 
bad me, writing this story from past 15 days (if i can say, cut 5 days i was not writing owing i was not home), edited, re-edited again and again as i felt i lost the way.
finally done today :P
thank heavens, now i can write my other stories.
well, i ave split this in two parts, just scroll down, in the next post you will find part two. 
happy reading.
o yes... before i forget, its emotional.

~~~~~~~~

I Was Lonely...

Arjun just smiled at the words of his colleagues and their antics and waved his hand in no when they asked him to join them for late lunch. He slid out of his chair and went to his cabin. He leaned on his table massaging his temples with his fingers and then leaned back on the chair and closed his eyes. There was not even an ounce of trace of the smile he had minutes ago.


Sameer Rathod who was laughing at something Shree said and broke a piece of roti, just then he saw Arjun washing down two tablets down his throat with water. He felt it weird. He did not even have a morsel from morning and here, gulping down tablets empty stomach at 5 in the evening. Weird, he thought. But he just thought that he might not really be hungry.


Late evening when he finished his work and was on his way out of office, he felt he saw someone in Arjun's cabin. Panicking, he barged into Arjun's cabin and saw him asleep on his chair, leaning back. he looked weary, tired. Sameer just shook him awake.


"Arjun.. Arjun get up. It's late. Go home and sleep. Come on..." Arjun jerked up in his position and took his surroundings and saw Sameer staring at him weirdly.


"wo.main...wo. I am sorry sir... main..wo...pata nahin kab aankh lag gayi mujhe... sorry... I will just leave" he said trying to smile but failing miserably.


Sameer kept his hand on his shoulder and asked him tenderly "are you alright Arjun? you look worn out. I know our schedule now a days is quite hectic par... tabiyat to theek hai naa? Aur chahiye to chutti le lo... tumhe..."


Arjun's eyes widened at Sameer's words. Holiday???? No way. He cut his words in middle.


"Nahin sir mujhe chutti nahin chahiye. I cannot afford take any holidays..." Arjun said trying to smile.


"Cant afford a holiday??? You must be kidding me. Jab se tum ETF mein aaye ho tabse tumne ek bhi holiday li hai??? And ye kya sir sir laga rakha hai?? call me Sameer. hum donon almost ek saal se saath kaam kar rahe hai yaar..."


"oki sir... mera matlab..Sameer..." Arjun said with a smile and Sameer felt it was first of a genuine smile in the past year.


"So friends?!"


Arjun shook his hand with Sameer and then both exited ETF.

~~


Sameer always had an eye for minutest details around him. it was not just to say he was called the best officer, best boss. He had made that place in every ones heart and mind. He was angry on the higher authorities for sending in a person like Arjun into his well organized ETF like a typhoon. Who would not be? Come on...  Arjun was a person who would not talk, smile, and mingle with them. He was always arrogant when it came to his interaction with others. He just came, worked hard and went back and spoke only when necessary. He would walk out of the crime scenes without any explanations. When he demanded his seniors about their choice they just said he was the best in what he did. Yes of course he was among the chosen best officers, but his behavior was not something acceptable. Above all they could not access any information about him other than his professional front, the access was denied to any of them. That made Arjun more mysterious to Sameer. so he started to observe him more closely. He could see cracks in the hard exterior that Arjun posed to the world very soon. He urged his team to be more patient with Arjun and involve him in their fun times. It took a good part of his brain to make Arjun a part of team ETF from a lone commando. It took months for Arjun to smile at the jokes cracked by the fellow team members and a year to accept hand of friendship extended by Sameer. but even after all these efforts, Sameer knew Arjun never smiled genuinely nor had accepted his friendship fully. He was still hesitant to open up, having learnt to mask feelings he found it difficult. Sameer very well knew that there was something that troubles Arjun and he wanted to know it.


Although he had started observing him and tried to change him just out of curiosity and an idea of devils workshop in his mind, but he had started caring for him genuinely. He saw a friend, an elder brother in Arjun who would go any lengths to protect him and the rest of the team. He himself had witnessed this overprotective side of Arjun many a times during field cases. All he needed to do was just unravel that Arjun from shrouds of the masks he wore.

~~


Arjun was unable to sleep the previous night. The memories that he was trying to bury in the deepest corner of his mind were resurfacing. He was unable to stop them. He wanted to scream his pain, curse his fate for its cruelty but would it lessen the pain in his heart??? Did screaming, crying and cursing would bring back what he lost? No. then why should he? His wife would not want him that way, neither his parents nor children. He would live for them, only for them. And if it meant to accept the friendship of Sameer, then let that be. He was ready to give it a chance. If it meant that he would have to smile more, he would do that. If it meant to shed the mask he wore, he was ready to try.

~~


Shree ran to Sameer's cabin as if his pants were on fire. Sameer raised his brow at him amused at the eccentric ways of the young techie of ETF. Shree stood panting gulped the coldwater offered by his ever friendly boss.


"sir, aaj... aaj Arjun sir ka birthday hai. he is turning thirty nine today" Shree spoke when he finally caught his breath.


"aaj?"


"yep. Maine do din pehle sabke records se date of birth mere calendar mein sync kiya tha and now it gave the reminder. Agar pehle pata hota to..."


"tumhe kya lagta hai, shall we surprise him in the evening? May be his house?"


"ye accha rahega sir.. main baaki logon ko bhi inform karta hun. Arjun sir to ab tak aaye nahin hai"


"aaye nahin ka matlab? He is never late" Sameer was concerned.


"may be he is with his family. Aur late hogaya hoga."


"you are right. aaj bhi meri maa mujhe mere janamdin par pooja path karne se pehle nikalne nahin deti, ab to Aisha bhi league mein hai" Sameer chuckled and Shree grinned.


"chalo its decided. We all will go to Arjun's house in the evening aur haan. Tum log iss excitement mein kaam ko neglect nahin karoge. I want all reports complete on my table before we leave. Got it?" boss in Sameer had surfaced barking orders.


"aye aye captain" Shree saluted and exited the cabin with spring in his steps.


Blissfully unaware of the plans his new' family made for him, Arjun watched kids in orphanage happily playing with the gifts he had got them.

~~


Two SUV's with bold label bearing the seal of ETF on hood stood in front of the large, antique looking gate. The entire team was shocked looking at the huge building before them.


"ye Arjun sir ka ghar hai?" Shree spluttered, unable to get over the shock.


"kahin hum log galat address pe to nahin hai?"


"nahin yaar riya. Dekh. Likha hai na Raute manor? Phir?"


"chalo guys. Lets go in and surprise the birthday boy. Wo to aaye nahin aaj ETF, chalo chalo" Sameer took the large cake and motioned chotu to open the gate.  


The entire team was stumped in disappointment when they saw the door with big antique looking lock on equally antique door. Everybody's shoulder slumped and Sameer looked down at the cake in his hands.


"Aisha, mere mobile se Arjun ko call karo. Shayad wo apne family ke saath kahin gaya hoga. Shayad ab wo phone utha le..." Sameer said to Aisha, his wife.


Aisha took his mobile and dialed Arjun's number, which directly went to voice mail. She tried two more times but still the automated message was all she heard. She shook her head in no, and glanced at the disappointed team.


"we really wanted to celebrate his birthday you know chotu..." said Shree, making faces.


"Shree, rehna do. He did not know we all are coming here right? may be he had plans made before with..." Aisha was cut in between by a stranger who called for them from the gate.


"aap wahan kisi ko dhoondne aaye ho kya? Uss ghar mein pichle do saal se koi nahin rehta. Bas hafte mein ek baar kaam waali aake ghar saaf karke chali jaati hai"


"par...par records mein to yahin address diya gaya hai. (he said to himself and glanced at Shree who was equally confused) aap ACP Arjun ko jaante ho? Ye unhi ka ghar hai" Sameer said to the man.


""jee nahin. Jab hum log iss locality mein aaye to ye ghar pehle se hi band tha. Haan... do teen baar ek lamba aadmi ko dekha hai humne iss ghar mein aate hue. Bas aakar iss ghar ke ander thodi der tak rehke chala gaya tha banda. Ajjeb tha wo. Aapko kya kaam tha uss se?"


"kuch bhi nahin. Thanks for the information" Sameer just marched towards the SUV and the rest team followed.

~~


"I don't like to celebrate my birthday" Arjun said curtly when he was asked by Sameer on Monday that followed.


"hume pata hai yaar ki you wanted to be with your family. Par kam se kam hume bata to dete" Sameer said with disappointment.


"I said I did not want to celebrate my birthday. itni si baat samajh nahin aati tumhe Sameer?" Arjun's eyes were red with anger and an unexplained emotion. He just exited the cabin with a loud bang, clenching his palm in a tight fist, leaving a hurt and confused Sameer behind.

~~


Every one in ETF felt that Arjun had built and invisible wall around himself, but not as strong as it was when he entered ETF. They could see him struggling hard and harder every moment to maintain the stoic face and detached nature. They saw him go all emotional, when he accidentally almost tripped over Tara, Sameer's daughter, who was on a tantrum to meet her father. He lifted her from ground, cradled in his arms checking for any possible injuries, talking to her softly. He had never before seen her and was wondering whose daughter she was. The little girl of 13 months had stopped crying and was in awe with the person who was carrying her. Arjun's eyes turned moist when he felt little palm on her cheek and sloppy kiss and a soft bite on his nose. He bounced the chubby cheek of the little girl with his fore finger making her giggle and unknown to him his face bore a wide smile. Just then Sameer and Aisha went to him and Tara bounced in Arjun's arms, excited to see her dadda as she called Sameer.


"Baccha... papa is here beta" Sameer forwarded his arms beckoning his daughter to come to him which Tara merrily did. Arjun felt he lost a part of his when Tara reached for Sameer, a sense of longing started to rise in his heart.


He saw Sameer tickling and giggling with his daughter with Aisha standing two steps away and smiling at them fondly, a picture perfect of a happy family they made. Just like his perfect family. He shook his head and asked Sameer

"Ye tumhari beti hai Sameer? kya naam hai iska?"


"Yep. My princess Tara.. Tara Sameer Rathod. Right baby?" he answered and at the end nuzzled her nose making her squeal.


"Never thought you would be married let alone be a father of an angel Sameer..." Arjun let out his astonishment, never pulling his eyes away from Tara.


"hehe... jab tumne ETF join kiya tab tak Aisha was on her leave and she usually does not visit the office. Bdw she was ammunition expert here." Aisha smiled at Arjun and he reciprocated with a nod and trained his eyes back at the giggling Tara and her happy, beaming father.


"bohut pyaari hai Sameer. she is an angel" he smiled heartily and fared a hand on Tara's head as if blessing her and went away.


Aisha stood and observed his behavior and caught Sameer's eyes as if asking him if he saw what she did. 


scroll down...

Edited by princess_pari - 9 years ago
Posted: 9 years ago

~~

"tumne kabhi apne baare mein nahin bataya Arjun... tumhari family? Tumhare birthday ke din hum log Raute Manor gaye the. Par neighbor ne bataya ki 2 years se wahan koi rehta nahin? Tum rehte kahan ho? Aur biwi bacche?" Sameer was really behaving like an inquisitive kid who was shooting question after another to his elder brother, returning home after a very long trip. Why not? Sameer never had siblings, and he was feeling amazing to find Arjun opening up to him, visiting his family to meet Tara and him after works, guiding him through about some tedious cases and advising him. Sameer felt that he was having an elder brother. He saw Arjun stiffen at the mention of family, wife and kids. He did not understand why. He waited with a bated breath for his answer.


"I left that house as I could not live there any more." Arjun said quietly and his voice was below notch, thickly laden with emotions. He simply looked out of the window of fast moving SUV.


Sameer look up at his strong willed second in command in ETF, a person who he looked up like an elder brother. He saw the same lonely man today who he saw a year ago, but not under the mask of arrogance and ignorance but in his real vulnerable state, with loneliness all around him. tears were logged in his eyes, still refusing to flow down. Before Sameer could watch his words, they flew out.


"Tara reminds you of someone right?"


Arjun turned at him and saw his face to spot any kind of sympathy towards him just like he had seen earlier, but he saw none. He turned back again to the window.


"My daughter. Anjali and her twin, Raunak"


"And where are they now?"


"Dead"


Sameer had thought that may be he was estranged from his family whom he missed but never thought that he had lost his children.


"and your wife?" he dreaded asking that.


"dead long before my kids and parents."

He paused for a moment and spoke again in a much controlled voice.

"Mera ghar aagaya. Thanks for dropping me Sameer. good night and see you in ETF tomorrow" Arjun said and left ETF and marched towards his home from past one year, Ravi Lodge.

~~


Sameer did not know what he had to say after he heard those words from Arjun.


Living with out a family... he could not even imagine it. And Tara... could he even imagine a life of his if he lost her? if he lost Tara and Aisha?  NO... NEVER. His mind screamed. He held the steering wheel tight and shut his eyes pushing those horrid thoughts out of his mind.


He reached his home in record time and ran to his room where his wife and daughter were giggling. He just ran the last few steps and hugged them both tight, close to his heart. Aisha smiled in the beginning but felt something was off with his behavior.


She caressed his back with her free hand and asked in a low tone.

"kya hua Sameer? dare hue lag rahe ho... kya baat hai?"


Sameer pulled himself out and kissed Tara's crown of head and pecked Aisha's lips.


"promise me Aisha ki tum aur Tara mujhe kabhi chod ke nahin jaoge. Main jee nahin paaunga tum donon ke bina...promise me Aisha please" he was trembling with those words.


She placed tara on bed and hugged Sameer caressing his back and neck.


"kabhi nahin sam... bhala main aur Tara tumhe chodke kyun jayenge? Aaj aisa kya hua ki tum ye sab keh raahe ho?"


Sameer narrated what Arjun told about his family, yet not revealing anything apart from that he had lost his wife long ago and may be his kids and parents recently.


"maine dekha hai Aisha ki wo kaise jee raha hai. you know he is unable to live in that house of his, probably where he lived with his wife , kids and parents. I cant imagine how much it must be paining him Aisha..."


Aisha just hugged him tight with Tara on her lap.

~~


Sameer observed Arjun through out the next day but could not see anything off or out of order in Arjun's behavior. In fact he was looking more relaxed but his eyes spoke of his sleepless night.


Sameer kept his hand on his shoulder and asked him

"kal raat ko soye nahin?"


"nahin wo... mere tablets khatm hogaye the aur mein naya lana bhul gaya tha. Mujhe unke bina neend nahin aata"


"tablets?"


"I am insomniac. Treatment chal raha hai uske liye. But don't worry. I am used to it" Arjun smiled at Sameer and patted his shoulder and started gathering his stuff.


 "aur haan. Main kal nahin aa sakta. Dopahar ke baad agar koi emergency ho to call karna." Arjun still did not look up at sameer.


"kal? Kal kya hai?"


Arjun took a deed breath and spoke in a gentle voice


"kal... kal aayi, baba Anjali aur Raunak ka shraadh hai. mandir mein. Isiliye main..."


Before even he could complete his sentence he felt wind knocked out of his lungs and felt two hands engulf him in hug. He hesitated for a moment and then hugged him back.


They parted and sameer held his shoulders

"do you want us to come?"


Arjun nodded a no and said

"I can manage alone sameer... ab main chalta hun. Take care"


Sameer stood back and gazed at the lone figure exiting ETF with heavy heart.

~~


He sat in the corner of a temple, away from the eyes of the devotees who would come, staring at nothing, lost in his past. The tears which refused to flow any other day, flew down his cheeks without stopping for even a second. May be that was the first time in last two years he had let out the tears unrestrained. He was feeling so lonely, more than ever before.


He felt someone sit beside him. he did not need to look up to know who it was. It can be none other than his new friend and his family. He wiped his tears and new batch flew down. He did not want others to see him vulnerable. But he could not stop the tears as the dam had finally broken.


Sameer sat next to him in silence. He could see four photographs right before the inner sanctum of the temple, of an elderly lady and a man, and two really cute kids. He waited for Arjun to speak. aisha stood near him with Tara in her hands looking at the duo. What seemed like eternity, they heard hoarse voice of Arjun.


"why am I entitled for this fate sameer? kya main itna bura hun ki sab log mujhe chod ke chalegaye.. ek baar bhi nahin socha ki main kaise jiyunga bina kisike, akele?"


Sameer did not know what to say. He just kept his hand on his shoulder. Arjun raised his teary face with bloodshot eyes, which spoke volumes of pain.


"pata hai sameer, maine kabhi nahin socha tha ki main apne hi family ko car blast mein, mere saamne marte dekhunga..."


Aisha and sameer were shocked at the revelation.


"main kaise jeeta sameer? apne patni ko to maine pehle hi kho diya tha, phir mere aayi baba, ba-bacche bhi" he chocked and sameer pulled him in his arms.  


Arjun hugged him and sobbed on his shoulder. Sameer met his gaze with Aisha and turned back to look at Arjun when they heard him again. They did not speak anything wanting him to speak everything he wanted to share.


"main...main tut chuka tha. Jeena nahin chahta tha. Lekin khud ki jaan kabhi le nahin paaya, teen chaar baar koshish karne ke baad bhi."


"wo ghar, jahan mere mere aayi baba ne saalon tak khushi se zindagi bitayi thi, main jis ghar mein roshni ko dulhan banake le gaya, jis ghar mein Anjali aur Raunak khela karte the, main nahin jee paya. Isiliye maine wo ghar chod diya"


"sharaab ek hi tha jo mujhe yaadon se door rakhta tha. Maine kaam pe jaana band kardiya tha sameer. main tro khud ke pariwaar ko baccha nahin paaya doorson ko kya bachata?"


"Char mahino baad DIG sir ne mujhe rehab mein admit kiya jahan mera therapy shuru hua. Sharab to chut gayi, par akelepan ka kya karun sameer?"


"raat ko neend nahin aata mujhe. Sab ki jalti hui bodies dikhti hai mujhe"mere bacche cheek rahe the wahan aaur main kuch nahin kar paaya. Meri aankhon ke saamne car blast hua aur pal mein meri duniya tabaah hogayi sameer, main akela hogaya iss duniya main."


He was sobbing openly now. sameer and Aisha were in  tears.


Panditji who had performed the sharaadh stood there silently and watched Arjun cry. He beckoned Aisha to come to him.


"uska khayal rakhna beti. Wo akela hai. aur koi nahin hai uska. Wo jab bhi waqt milta tha yahan aata tha aur wahan, door khade hoke bhanwan ke murti ko dekhta tha. Na haath jodta, naa mannat mangta, naa rota aur na gussa karta bhagwan pe jaise bohut log karte hai. aaj uss haadse ke baad maine usko pehli baar apna dard akelapan bayaan karte dekha hai aur tum logon ke saamne. Uska saath dena beta" he blessed Aisha and sleeping Tara and went away with last glance at Arjun.


"DIG sir ne mere baare jo bhi information the sab secure kardiya. He did not want anyone to know that I had a family which I lost. He did not anyone rip open my wounds with their questions and pity. Kyunki maine kabhi media ke saamne mere personal life ke baare mein baat hi nahin ki thi. Aur ek saal mere zindagi ka koi nahin jaanta" Arjun had continued speaking his heart to sameer.


"par in sab se mere dil mein jo ched hua hai bharega to nahin na sameer? main aaj tak ye pata nahin kar paaya ki uss blast ke peeche kaun tha. Aur main aaj yahan hun... akela.. tanha... lonely"


"aap akele nahin ho Arjun" it was Aisha who bet sameer who sat next to him.


"you have us. Me, sameer, tara and ETF... hum sab hai... you are not alone..."


Arjun shook his head and smiled wishfully.


"nahin Aisha... tum sab ho. Mere saath. Main jaanta hun ki tum donon mujhe bade bhai ki tarah maante ho. Par ye bhi hai ki mein akela hun aur rahunga."


"hum jaante hai ki we cannot fill the emptiness created in  your heart. But we can stop that heart from feeling lonely ever again Arjun."


"tum log nahin samajhte sameer, Aisha..."


"hum donon samajh te hai Arjun. par tum nahin samajh rahe ho. Manta hun main Arjun ki wo blast ne tumse sab kuch chin lia hai. tumhari khushi, zindagi sab kuch. Par usne tumse wo pal nahin cheene jo tumne apne parents ke saath, bacchon ke saath bitaye the. Wo sirf tumhare hai Arjun. aur you should remember them and live. Tumhe kya lagta hai ki wo sab wahan khush honge tumhe aise jeeta hua dekh kar? Aise ghut te hue?"


"kehna asaan hai sameer par karna mushkil"


"mushkil tab hoga jab tum aisa samjhoge. Hum nahin kehte sab bhool jao because it is impossible. You cannot forget that as it is a part of your life now. par jeene ki koshish to karo Arjun. and we will be with you"


Arjun just sat contemplating his words. His trance broke when he felt tiny hands and feet trying to climb on his lap. Little Tara was trying to reach him. Arjun pulled her in his arms and kissed her forehead. She gave a sloppy kiss on his cheek and made face when she felt salty tears on her lips. Arjun smiled at her and wiped his tears.


"kya hua? Muh kyun bana rahi ho?" he asked Tara in his low husky voice.


"Aju"  Tara mumbled against his cheeks again and made Arjun move into tears again.


"Aju taau" she spoke again and giggled.


Sameer and Aisha smiled through their tears seeing Tara slowly filling the part of void in arjun's heart.

~~


Month and a half had passed and Arjun had moved back to his own house, Raute manor which was closer to both ETF and sameer's house.


He smiled more often, started to find peace in work and sameer's family and ETF.


Yes. He was still insomniac, missed his family like hell, but things were indeed getting better for him. Because, he had at last found people who cared for him, and whom he cared for. He was lonely once, but not anymore.

 

~~~~

does it make sense? i don't know. felt like writing so i did.

if you like hit like and comment. 

bacchi khush hojayegi


aapki,

Pari

Edited by princess_pari - 9 years ago
Posted: 9 years ago
Awesome OS
Loved it
It made me cry
i have no words to describe
Just loved it
Edited by skrafty - 9 years ago
Posted: 9 years ago
unres...
yes, It does make sense.
Arjun lost so many precious people & was leaving alone.
Yet he never gave up on life.
Sameer played a very important role as a brother & as a chief.
Tara bring a new light in Arjun's otherwise dark life.
it was a beautiful OS.😊
Edited by laila1994 - 9 years ago
Posted: 9 years ago
pari ben...
tamari os ne mareko bohut rulaya chhe...
it was very emotional...
sorry for a short comment.
thanks for the pm.
Posted: 9 years ago
awesome dear.. Beautifully written.. loved it.. Thanks for pm..
Posted: 9 years ago
hmm very nice

you wrote every ones feelings very well

thanks for pm
Posted: 9 years ago
Pari!

Oh my God...

This os just shook my heart...

It straight hit the core of my heart...

As I finished reading the story I found my cheeks cold...

And tasted something salty...

I never realized the tears that formed and dropped down as I read...

It's too much... beautifully written

But it escapes from being painful... the last few lines..

It brings back hope in his life...

And releases the pain in my heart when I read Arjun's situation...

How did you pen this?

You left me speechless...

Well that's what I thought so... and ended up writing this...

All I can say is that you have left me stunned... in awe 

Your writing skills are beautiful...

Lucid yet knots itself with the reader's heart...

I guess I really don't have to say how much Sameer and Ayesha's involvement in his life meant...

And yes... Taara... gorgeous, cute baby... true children are like the gift of God... she managed to bring the missing element of his life... a smile...

Arjun finally needed one kind of a friend... which Sameer was,it just reminded me of a quote...

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus 

I wish I could write forever as to how this os touched my heart... lots are left unspoken... but I know you get them...

With this I end my comment - which is an infinitesimal part of what I have to say to you...  


Posted: 9 years ago
wow
awesome update
i am crying dear
love it



Edited by saritak - 9 years ago
Posted: 9 years ago
Kya yaar
tune to rula diya
mujhe behtar kaun jan sakta hai sb hokr akela mehsus hone ki feeling kya hoti hai 😭
i lost my dad three years ago..aj v unke yaad mein roti hun...wo to chale gaye par ye akelapan nahi jaata..while reading, i just feel the pain again..
Nice os

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