A Note to my readers
The original concept and storyline is Shari's and hers alone. This version has been rewritten keeping the essence intact. In the first four chapters there are portions directly taken from the original. There are two major changes though.
1. There is NO familial link between Nidhi and Ashutosh's father. So no baba ka makaan and no nana vs baba conflict.
2. Armaan here is Dr Armaan, Orthopaedic surgeon at KGH and of course, a very close friend of Ashutosh.
3. The age gap between Ashutosh and Nidhi has been reduced to 15 years.
Thank you all in advance for reading it. And hoping that you will like it too.
Introduction
Based in the beautiful locales of Lucknow and on the backdrop of a hospital setting, Destiny's Play is a different love story between two very different people with a substantial age gap. The story highlights the nuances of a complicated relationship when people with a huge age difference fall in love. A young, spirited Dr. Nidhi Verma [age 24] and a brooding and handsome Dr. Ashutosh [age 39]. Will Nidhi be able to break in through the fort that Ashutosh has built around himself? Will Ashutosh fight and win over his fears to claim the other half of his soul? Meet they did. And fell in love too. But for reasons best known to them, they parted ways.
"What's meant to be will always find a way." - Anonymous.
Destiny brought them back together once again after two years. Each clinging to the belief that despite the bitterness they felt whatever decision they had taken was for the welfare of the other. Not knowing that if man has decided something, there is always that thing called fate that comes in to change everything when you least expect it.
Chapter One
Two years later: At KGH:
Slight knock at the door,
"Come in!" uttered a stern voice.
A 20 something slip of a girl shakily opens the door of Dr Ashutosh's office. She kept cursing her fate as to why she of all the people had to be the messenger to Dr Heartstone and as if it could not get worse, the message was from the Lucknow Orphanage, the only place according to rumours, where Dr Heartstone seemed to return to human form.
"Dr Aaashutosh..there is someone from Lucknow Orphanage as ...asking f...for you aaat the re reception desk." She stammered and chanting Hanuman Chalisa in her mind repeatedly. Jai Hanuman gyan gunsagar..jai kapisa tihu lok ujaaagar..Raam duta..duta.. Her chant also came to a stumbling halt as six foot of fury got up to glower down at her.
"The Orphanage? Why was not I paged? Are people in this hospital not aware of that simple thing called a pager?" he stomped out completely ignoring the nurse.
Ashutosh made his way to the reception, his thoughts wandered to the orphanage, the only place he could find some peace after that fateful encounter two years ago when he had, with his own actions, ended what had been a temporary glimpse of heaven his relationship with Nidhi Verma. She may have left his life but her memories were buried in him
and these memories were what have been keeping him going till now.
Slowing his pace as he reached the reception desk, he could hear some commotion near it. As usual his first reaction was to look around for the staff ready to blast at them for their inability to cope with such a situation.
"Can't you see that we are dealing with a sick child? Is the paperwork more important? You need to rethink on your priorities lady!" said a very angry female voice.
Ashutosh remained rooted to the spot, his mind having gone to another time..almost two and half years ago, when he had heard that same voice in that same tone, but back then he had been at the receiving end of that anger.
"How can you say that? How can you believe that we are not meant to be together?" Her voice had been flat..almost emotionless.
He had his back turned away from her and tried not to think about what she was thinking..what was she feeling. "Nidhi, this relationship cannot go on. You are not accepting it but one way or other the differences between us will continue and love cannot conquer everything. You have your life to live! Why do you want to be stuck with someone like me? I am the cursed one. My life is full of examples to show i am not worthy of being loved. I never knew my parents, Baba the man who made me the man that I am left me! Why should I believe that what we have is special and that one day you too would not leave me?" Realizing how insecure and damn needy he sounded, he had hastened to add, "And I wouldn't blame you if that happened. Truly I wouldn't. This society is not going to welcome a relationship such as ours. I just..I just wish I had realized it sooner." But he hadn't. He hadn't stood a chance against that alluring nature and that impish smile of hers. He hardened his heart and uttered the next words.
"So it's best that we part ways before we both get hurt more. Mallika is right. Rohan would make a good match for you. Both of you are of the same age, share the same interests..like..like clubbing. You and I..we are poles apart in everything. I know that day you came to the concert even if you had no clue about classical music. How long will we sacrifice each other's choices?"
"That's enough!" she had shouted. He had been stunned at the fury in her tone and turned to her. She had then stared at him in that intent way of hers and he had hoped he didn't betray his real feelings. His love, longing and pain. Bone crippling pain. He didn't know what she saw on his face but a hard look had entered her eyes. And he knew. She was furious at him. His words had hurt her and no matter how much she was hurting she wanted to inflict the same kind of pain back.
"Dr Ashutosh, that's enough! I have been quiet that does not mean I am going to sit and allow you insult my feelings for you. Who are you to decide about who I should make a good pair with? Rohan has and will always be a friend. At least he knows the value of friendship. Who are you to say that the difference in age will be a problem, I have told you so many times that whatever problem may come our way we will deal with it together. You say those who loved you have left you, but right now, this minute, let me give you some news in case it has escaped that laser sharp mind of yours. YOU are the one who left in our relationship each time! When I needed you..when baba was sick no one could find you, yet I never lost hope." A lone tear trickled down her cheek and she swiped an angry hand over her face. "I trusted that my love would come back. Ultimately I hoped that you would be with me then but it never happened. Did I say anything then? No. You say baba left you. Why is my love to be blamed here as well?" At the point her voice had started to tremble and whirled away from him as if unwilling to let him see her thoughts on her face.
He hadn't known what to say after that. He knew he was doing the right thing, going away from her would grant her a better life. It had hurt him to say that Rohan would make a good match for her but the thoughts of the humiliations she would face if they stayed together had won over his feelings. His mind went back to all those times when they had met with the questioning glances of people seeing them together, the quiet murmurs on his age as well as hers. How long would they brush these aside? No! He had to end it. For her sake, he had to let go. He would go back to his world of loneliness. At least he would have her memories than watch her fade away with him, see her lose her youth just because she could not do things people of her age did. Oh he knew she would never utter any reproach but deep down he felt that their happiness would not be complete.
"Nidhi.." he said but she had never given him a chance to say more than that.
"No!" She had interrupted. "You have said your share. Now you listen Dr Ashutosh! I have tried so many times to show you that my love for you is no infatuation or idealisation. Each time I thought that I had succeeded, each time you proved me wrong. Why is it that my love is the only one being tested? Is it because I am younger? I ignored the taunts of Dr Mallika. I never told you about them as I know how this would hurt you. And whenever you sided and agreed with her without even hearing my side of things..do you know how much that hurt? How much you hurt me? You know what the bottom line is, Dr Ashutosh? Bottom line is you don't trust me. Or our love. And without trust..there is nothing." He had heard her take a deep breath and move her shoulders as if she were bracing herself for a crushing blow. And then he heard her words, "I am leaving you. You will find my resignation on your table first thing tomorrow morning. Goodbye Dr Ashutosh and..good luck."
With these words she had run from his office and he was left alone. He should have been happy his wish had come true. Nidhi would go and make a life for herself but no! All he had felt was a gaping hole in the place where his heart had resided and a vast emptiness as she walked away, taking his life with her.
"Dr Ashutosh"... "Dr Ashutosh"
His mind veered back to the present as he felt Dr Ranganath's insistent call. "What do we do about the child sir? She is not responding to the first treatment given."
With a final glance at her, he focused once again to what was the sole reason he lived for these days - his patients. The past had no place when the life of a child was at stake.
****
For Nidhi, seeing him had been a shock. He had not changed much, she had known that bringing the child to Kotnis meant the possibility of seeing him but she had been hoping not to. The past two years she had completed her internship at CCHH and had been doing her PG and now with the results pending, she had started working as a voluntary doctor at the orphanage. That place was the only link she had to him. While she had been doing her PG, one day the desperation to see him, be with him had almost overwhelmed her and after wandering aimlessly through the streets of Lucknow, she had landed up near the orphanage. One of the children there had been playing and fell down from the swing. She had seen that and rushed in. From that day onwards, she had spent every free moment she could spare in the orphanage. The sister there had mentioned that Dr Ashutosh rarely visited and she had relaxed and genuinely enjoyed spending time with those children. It had been a way for her to unwind after a long hard day of classes and hospital duties. She had made sure that their paths never crossed as she had promised him. But it seemed to her that someone out there had decided otherwise.
She knew that seeing her must have shocked him as well but looking at him now no one would guess what he was thinking. It had been the same that day in his cabin too. The day they had broken up. She had seen his eyes. She knew his words were hurting him too. Yet, he still said them. In that same neutral voice that he used whenever he didn't want others to read his thoughts and feelings. She had never wanted to enter medical world and to her, her internship had been TROUBLE with a capital T. Then he had come on her path! The man who had made her want to be not just a doctor but a good one at that. From the moment she had realised her feelings up to that fatal moment in his office she had never doubted her feelings for him and she thought that her love had been strong enough to conquer his insecurities but his words that day had proven her wrong.
The slight screech and roll of the stretcher brought her back to the present and her gaze once again fell on her ex-dean, Dr Ashutosh. The image the world saw was that of the diligent doctor setting out to do what he did best, save a life. She knew that she had to go. If she stayed too long, the staff would recognize her and questions would be asked as to why she was here and why she had left without even a goodbye to any of them. She was grateful that she at least got a glimpse of him and for his sake she had to go. With a final glance towards him she moved towards the exit knowing that this sight of him, bent over the small child listening to her chest with his steth as he instructed the nurse to get the IV ready, would be another of those memories she would cherish.
****
After a few hours they had managed to stabilise the child and shifted him to the paediatric ward. She would be under observation for a couple of days and later discharged. It was then, only then that he allowed himself to go back to that scene in the reception area. It had been her, her voice. The same determined tone and the same aggravation when things didn't go her way. He had been stunned at first sight but had ruthlessly put all his thoughts aside to concentrate on the child. When he finally allowed his eyes to look for her she was gone. Not that it was any great surprise. He knew that she would do whatever was needed to uphold her promise of staying away. Still he did something he knew he should not have, but he was human after all. He wanted to know if she was okay, how come she had brought that child, what had she been doing there. He quickly took his phone out and placed the call.
The orphanage had been a special place to both of them. Nidhi had known of his origins from the start and never did she look down upon it. The times they spent at the orphanage were the ones where they were themselves. No constraint from society..no insecurities.. He was lost in his thoughts and had not realised that the call had connected..
"Hello, Lucknow Orphanage, Sister Mary speaking."
"Sister, Dr Ashutosh here, I am calling about the child who was sent from the orphanage."
"Yes ...Ashutosh, after how long did you think of us, you no longer come these days," There was no accusation in her voice but Ashutosh felt guilty all the same. After Nidhi's exit from his life he had cut himself off from everything that would remind him of her. The hospital had become his sole reason to survive. Ignoring her query he continued,
"Sister, I'm happy to tell you that the child is better. It was a case of dehydration caused by the abdominal infection. Uh..sister..the lady who was with him.." he could not bring himself to continue
"Ah! You mean Dr Nidhi? But I thought you knew her Ashutosh? She used to accompany you whenever you used to come. You stopped but she continued. Every day after her college she used to come and spend time with kids and now that she is awaiting her results, she is able to spend more time with these children. The children would sure miss her once she clears her exams and joins some corporate hospital." She added not knowing the effect of every word on his listener.
Ashutosh abruptly hung up trying to absorb the words that the sister had just said. Nidhi went to college? That means she not only completed her internship but did her PG too? What branch? Paediatrics? Yes. She would've done that. She loves children, right? Even as he wondered at the twist of fate that once again brought her face to face with him, a surge of pride brightened his eyes. He had always known Nidhi was highly intelligent. This proved her capabilities beyond a shadow of doubt. She picked herself. She didn't let her heartbreak pull her down for long. He slowly opened a drawer and pulled out something. A picture... after two years he was looking at it again. It was a picture of the two of them at baba's house, at a time when they hoped to be together. Yet it was not meant to be.
She still had the same temper, he thought with a smile. And no one could mess with her when it concerned a sick child. He should know. When they had met for the first time.. He soft laugh caught him unawares. Met? The fact was, she burst into his life with all the subtlety of a lit string of firecrackers. The only difference? Firecrackers would have been less dangerous. To his heart. He had been a don't mess with me senior doctor and she, a brand new intern, who from the moment she stepped in his hospital had rubbed him the wrong way. But her dedication to the children and she sure had a way with the most wayward ones was something that equalled his. The massive showdown that they had about Shehenshah was what started their relationship. He had started to note everything about her, her crazy ideas on how to sick child throwing a temper tantrum to her willingness to above and beyond the call of duty in order to bring a smile on the faces of those children. But to him it seemed that the incident with Shehenshah had given her an entry in his world. Her ability to read him was something he ignored at first but she quickly wormed her way in his world and his heart. She still was his heart and that was something he could never acknowledge to her, for her own sake. Nidhi had completed her PG and is moving on in her life. It was just a matter of time before she married someone..someone closer to her age.. He ignored the stab of pain in the region of his heart. Yes. It was for the best.
****
Little did he know that there were two people out there, who were planning to give destiny a helping hand. Dr Ranganath was the only one who knew the reason why Dr Ashutosh had once again during these past two years returned in Dr Heartstone mode. Back then he had noted the attraction Ashutosh and Nidhi had shared. And from Anji, he knew that something had happened and clearly both of them were not happy irrespective of their contrary assertions. During the two years that had elapsed, Anji and Ranganath had married after Anji had accepted the fact that behind the facade of the flirt was a sensitive man who genuinely cared for her.
That night, during their dinner, Ranganath told Anji about what happened in the hospital. "You know, that time when Dr Ashutosh realised that it was Nidhi standing in front of him.." he gestured his fork in emphasis as he continued, "This was the first time in these past two years that I saw a flicker of real emotion on his face. He was not the same man who scares the living daylights out of the staff and interns. After we managed to stabilise the patient his first look was for her." Ranganath shook his head and sighed. "And it was painful to see him when he realised that she was not there." He looked at his wife who refused to comment. According to her, Ashutosh was the man who had broken her best friend's heart and stomped on it just to make sure. "At times I wonder why does it seem that two people are so meant to be together are apart. Ab..hum dono ko hi dekhlo. We managed to get over our doubts, didn't we Anji?"Anji got up from the table and started clearing the plates and bowls. "Humaari baat alag thi Ranganath. And I don't want to talk about him anymore. Jab bhi Nidhi ka udaas chehra dekhti hoon.." She left the rest of the sentence unsaid and went off into the kitchen.
Ranganath looked at his wife's departing back. He knew that his Anji would not agree but at times love was not the only thing that was needed. It had worked in their case but that did not mean it would for everyone. These two had suffered enough and it was time they realised that. He needed to think on a proper plan though.
Chapter Two
A week later at KGH Dr Ranganath was in a quandary. Dr Ashutosh had left for a series of lectures in various cities in Europe the previous day and would not be back for a month. He had left Dr Armaan in charge of the hospital. And now his temporary boss just had stomped out of the cabin in a fit of temper. Three of the interns were down with a viral and the PG students were on a break. In short, they were short staffed. Since the departure of Dr Mallika they never felt the need for an extra doctor as Dr Ashutosh had been handling both areas. Now it seemed with his departure, a grain of sand had entered the well-oiled machinery that was KGH. Dr Armaan wanted someone to take up the slack. Stat. Then an idea popped up and he wondered why it hadn't struck him before. Before he could over-analyse and talk himself out of it, he dialled the number.
"Nidhi? Ranganath here. Can we meet? Mujhe tumse kuch baat karni hain. I'll be over after work." He knew that a direct approach was better when it concerned Nidhi.
"Sure, OK," came the reply. Nidhi found it surprising that Ranganath would call her. For the past two years she had tried to stay away from anyone who could be linked to him. Anji was her best friend and she was very happy that she and Ranganath had sorted out their issues and were happy together.Maybe he wanted to talk something about Anji. She sighed and relaxed.Yeah, that would be it. What else could it be?
Later that evening she realised how wrong she had been. At first she thought she was hearing things.
"Nidhi you have to come back at KGH."
Nidhi could not believe that him of all people would come to her with such a proposal. She was aware that he knew about what happened two years ago, well at least he knew the diluted version she had given Anji. And Ranganath had always come across as a sensitive guy. Maybe she was a bad judge of character as she was in everything else.
"You got to be kidding me! Why would I want to do that? Come back to a place which has given me nothing but pain..and sorrow," she asked and cursed the betraying tremble in her voice.
"I know Nidhi. Believe me, I do. But everything is not about you. KGH needs you right now. I need you there. We're horribly short staffed. Patients are suffering. The interns are too new and the PGs are out on a break. Most of them on long distance vacations. You've worked there before and are already familiar with the workings of.."
Nidhi smiled sadly. Yeah, she had worked there before and by the time she had walked out, her heart had been torn out of her chest. "What does Dr..Ashutosh have to say about this? Does he know that you've come to talk to me?" And braced herself for the answer.
"Dr Ashutosh is not in the country. He has gone abroad for a series of guest lectures. He won't be back for a month. Make that six weeks. After returning from Europe, he has another set of lectures waiting for him in Delhi."
She sighed and leaned back in her chair. Working at KGH again. So many memories in that place that had given her the joy of love and also the pain. Was she strong enough? Well, she was a doctor, wasn't she? She can't let personal feelings interfere with her work. And she had time in her hands now. What would she do at home other than sit and mop. Another thought struck her and she frowned. "And Dr Mallika? She is the second senior in-charge, right?"
Ranganath gave a rueful smile. "Normally, yes. But she is on a three year sabbatical. Her brother had shifted to Australia a couple of years back and she went there to spend some time with him."
"Oh." She didn't know what else to say. She had never thought she would see the day when Dr Mallika would willingly leave Dr Ashutosh alone. Maybe the lady thought with her out of the picture, it was safe enough. And what with Face Times in Skype and whatsapps in phones, the geography hardly mattered, right? Now she could go back there and relive the days when she had been a happy carefree person without dreading his presence. Being in the same city yet making sure their paths never crossed, hadn't been an easy thing to do. She had even avoided going to Anji's house much for the same reason. Ranganath would be there. Topic of KGH would start and that would inevitably lead to Dr Ashutosh. She was like an addict on rehab. She needed to stay away from the drug or she'll end up being an addict again. Running after him, waiting for him to look at her, smile at her, start inventing opportunities to interact with him. But with him out of the country, there was no danger of that happening.
"And Dr Armaan?" The one person who had given his whole hearted approval and blessing to their relationship at that time.
"He just wants the staff issue to be resolved. You know he doesn't have patience to deal with all these things. I suggested your name and he shrugged and said OK." Ranganath controlled his huge grin. Fact was Dr Armaan had all but danced on the table at the mention of Nidhi coming back to KGH. He, like Ranganath, wanted these two to get back together again and had seen the idea for what it was - a golden opportunity.
Nidhi took a deep breath and made her decision. "OK Ranganath. I'll do it. But just for six weeks. That's it. Not a day more."
Ranganath controlled his whoosh of relief and calmly extended the KGH contract. "Understood. Six weeks. Starting from tomorrow. I've already mentioned that in the contract. Read it and sign it. The pay details are also in there."
Nidhi read it thoroughly, nodded and signed it. "I'll see you tomorrow morning. Eight AM. Sharp."
Ranganath watched her walk out of the coffee shop and grimaced. This was not the Nidhi he knew. Has that Nidhi been lost forever? He hoped not.
****
Armaan looked at the caller id and smiled. "Hey boss! What's happening? How is Amsterdam?"
Ashutosh sighed. He was standing on one of the bridges over the famous Amsterdam canals. But the beauty of the sight before him was lost in the dismal thoughts surrounding his mind. He had scheduled these lectures in a desperate attempt to distance himself from his thoughts. He wanted some peace and tranquillity to his tortured soul. Seeing Nidhi after two years..it had revived all his desires that had been buried deep within. No matter where he went and what he did, all he felt was restlessness and gut wrenching yearning. It was like she was there right in front of him but out of his reach. At least back at KGH he could try to keep himself buried in work. It had worked for the past two years why not now?
"Oye? Kya hua? Kuch bolta kyu nahi?"
Ashutosh shook himself and sat down on one of the benches. "Armaan, I'm coming back."
"Ay? But you just went last week. I thought it was a four week trip and after that Delhi for another two weeks."
He ran a disturbed hand through his hair. "Pata nahi yaar. Yaha rehne ka mann nahi karta. Dumm ghut ta hain mujhe."
Armaan sighed. "Ashu..tere dumm ghutne ki wajah toh tu jaanta hain na? Amsterdam kya tu duniya ke kisi bhi jagah jaao, tumhe chain nahi milega."
Ashutosh accepted the truth of that statement silently. Armaan was his one and only friend who knew everything about him, about Nidhi and above the whole relationship including the break up. Although he had never agreed with Ashutosh's decision regarding the break up. Both of them had done their MBBS together. Later, Ashutosh went into Neurology and then Neurosurgery while Armaan went into Orthopaedics. And now they were colleagues at KGH.
"Anyway, I've cancelled the rest of my tour and the lectures. The Delhi ones too. I'm coming back the day after tomorrow."
"OK. Cool." Armaan decided not to push.
"How are things at KGH?"
Armaan's eyes lit up and an unholy smile stretched his lips. He mentally thumped his fist in the air and did a hoolala dance too just for good measure. "Uh..KGH is fine..just fine. We..had a minor staffing issue last week but now it's all resolved."
"Good. I'll see you in a couple of days then."
"Yup. Yup." And mentally hummed, aaja aaja mein hu pyaar tera..allah allah..inkaar tera..aaja ooo aaja..aa aa aaja..aa aa aa.
****
Nidhi was relishing every minute of her time at KGH. She was no more an intern but a doctor. And in that respect her decisions were accepted and respected by the staff. She took care of the OPD along with Dr Ashutosh's assistant and even assisted Dr Armaan in a couple of surgeries even though that was not her speciality. The designated PG student had still been recovering from the viral and she had tentatively volunteered. Armaan blinked and had given her a doubtful look. Orthopaedic surgery was not for people with delicate constitution. But at the end of the surgery, he had given her an approving glance and told her to suture up. In the last one week, she had had more practical experience at KGH than during her entire PG course. Maybe it had to do with the huge institution that KGH was, not to mention the best hospital in Lucknow. She had thought that being back would be a return to all the pain but she was wrong. And work had not been the only thing she did. Every day after her duty, she spent some time playing with the kids in the paediatric ward. The best way for her to unwind after an exhausting day. Little did she know that things were about to change.
On the seventh day after she had joined, Nidhi took those children who were on the mend out in the play room. That day they had decided to play hide and seek and it was her turn to be blindfolded. Whilst they were at play here someone else was entering the premises.
Ashutosh had decided to come back to KGH direct from the airport. He did not want to go back home to meet Kaka's questioning eyes. Since that encounter with Nidhi he had closed up more than before..burying himself more than ever in his work. Little did he know that he was about to get another shock as he got down from his car in front of the main entrance. The driver rushed to hold the door open for him and later drove off the car towards the assigned parking spot. The news of Dr Heartstone has entered the premises sent everyone in a flurry of activity. They knew should he find something awry they would be in deep trouble.
Ashutosh was about to enter the lift when he heard sounds of giggles from one of rooms. It was from one of the play areas that have not been in use for some time. He decided to go and investigate wondering who would have dared to go against his orders. The scene awaiting him was one that left him speechless. A group in front of him was running all about the place and in the middle, someone blindfolded was trying to grab the children. The moment the children spotted him they stopped. The elder ones realized that they were in deep trouble and their guilty expressions said it all. It was common knowledge that Dr Ashutosh was a stickler for rules and one such rule stated that children were not to move out of ward.
Fury washed over him. What the hell had happened in his absence? His hospital had changed into a playground. And these days he detested change. He alone knew the cost. The last time he had allowed change in both his personal and professional aspects had been when she had entered his life. Dr Ranganath would have a lot to answer for. Just as he was about to turn and storm towards the administrator's cabin, a hand grabbed his arm and he heard "Gotcha!" And everything in him hit pause. That voice! That touch! Only one person had the ability to send electricity zinging through his veins with her mere touch through two layers of clothing. Only one voice had the power to knock him down to his knees.
Nidhi, struck by the silence, frowned and tugged her blindfold away from her eyes. And met his spellbound eyes. It was as if suddenly the world around them did not exist. They had been transported back to another time, another place. The previous time she had got hold of him while playing with the children. The time when everything had started. She had started to discover the man behind Dr Heartstone. At that movement she realized how ironical the current situation was. Same setting but a completely different situation. In the past, all she had felt was awareness, a slight bewilderment along with budding joy. And now it managed to revive not only her longing but also her bitterness and her anger. She let go of him and turned to the children. She hoped her cheerful voice hid her turbulent emotions.
"Chalo bachchon! Khana time!" She clapped her hands and forming them into a single line, made a quick, silent exit.
Ashutosh for his part was still trying to assimilate what had just unfolded.What was Nidhi doing here? And with the children! He touched the place where she had touched him a few moments ago as if trying to recapture that feeling. In the next moment he shook himself and after a quick look at the corridor and the scurrying staff, he made a beeline to the one man who could answer his questions. Ranganath might not be privy to the details of his personal life but he sure hadn't been blind two years ago. He had known what was happening and had even managed to douse the fires between Mallika and Nidhi a couple of times. His quick strides took him to the cabin of KGH's administrator. He was about to knock when he heard the voice that stopped him in his tracks.
"How could you do that to me? Did you know that he was coming back?" Nidhi's tone was angry.
"No Nidhi. Dr Ashutosh came back unannounced. He was not expected till the tenth of next month." came Ranganath's reply. Ranganath for his part was actually appreciating this twist in the action. He had hoped that by bringing Nidhi back to KGH it would rekindle her feelings and now fate was helping by bringing the object of the feelings in front of her.
Nidhi was at a complete loss. She knew that Ranganath was telling the truth as he would for sure not mess about on this issue. How was she going to deal with this? Facing him day in and day out..again. Working side by side..again. No. She couldn't do that. Good or bad, she was moving on. Probably not the way her baba or dadi bua wanted and insisted but..the only way she knew how. Little did she know that someone else was facing an inner battle of a different kind.
Deep down the question was nagging Ashutosh. Did he want out? After two years their paths had once again crossed. He perfectly knew that their relationship would never be what he wanted but seeing her had weakened his resolution. Temptation gnawed his insides. If she remained around in the hospital, he could see her from afar. Could hear her talk and laugh. Could see the smile that lit up her eyes whenever she played with the kids.Decision made, he stepped in Ranganath's office. At his sudden entrance, Ranganath for once was at a loss for words. Nidhi looked like a cornered animal. Wary, hurt and furious. She hadn't been expecting him so soon. Ashutosh appeared not to notice her at all and focused only on Ranganath.
"Dr Ranganath, could you explain what is going on here? I leave the hospital for a few days and when I come back what I see is complete mayhem," he said in what he hoped would appear as a normal voice.
Ranganath stuttered. "Eh hmm Dr Ashutosh..welcome..back! Umm..mayhem? What do you mean sir? We had a minor staffing problem after you left but that's got sorted out. We have Dr Verma who kindly accepted to join us..once more and..umm" He ended the incomplete sentence with an awkward shrug.
Ashutosh remained quiet for a moment. So this was what Armaan had meant when he said he had resolved the staffing issue. He just couldn't help but meddle. Anger and gratitude waged a war inside him. He was still battling with a myriad of emotions when he realised that she was saying something.
"Dr Ashutosh, now that you are back, I feel that my presence is no longer required," she said in the emotionless voice that he had heard her use two years ago.
After two years of a separation which he was cause of, this was the first time he was having a good look at her. True he had seen her when she brought that patient but this was his first real good look at her. And what he saw was like a knife in his gut. The woman in front of him looked like Nidhi but didn't look his Nidhi. She had lost weight, her face was taunt and a little pale and her eyes..the eyes that were the mirrors of her soul..had always reflected her feelings..now looked blank..lifeless.
"Dr Ashutosh..?" She repeated.
He mentally shook himself and said in a stern voice, "Dr Nidhi, why do you say so? You have joined the hospital isn't it? I would deem it as unprofessional if you leave your job midway." That was it, the dice was cast. He knew that he was playing with fire yet he could not stop it. Maybe two years of not seeing her had made him selfish. He has seen her again and now he couldn't let her walk away. Not yet.
Nidhi looked at him, stunned. Did she hear him right? He had all but thrown her out of his life and now he wanted her to stay? What should she do? Going would mean closing the door to seeing him again but staying would mean the possibility of being hurt again. Could she take the risk?
"Nidhi?" she heard Ranganath calling her. He gave her a solemn look and continued, "Dr Ashutosh has no issues about you being here. Please stay. KGH really needs you right now." He was laying it thick, he knew. But at the moment he didn't care.
"OK," she replied, "But only until you find someone to step in." She knew she was going to regret it but being in the same place as him was a stronger pull.
Ashutosh didn't betray his relief in any way. He nodded briskly and said, "Good. That's good. Ranganath, make sure Dr Verma reports to Dr Vyas. He would.."
Ranganath bit the inside of his cheek to stop his gleeful smile. Oh, he loved surprising his boss. "But sir, Dr Vyas is HOD of Paediatrics. And Dr Nidhi is a neurologist."
"Wh-what?" Ashutosh was stumped. His dazed eyes whirled towards Nidhi. "You're a neurologist?"
Nidhi notched up her chin in defiance. Wild horses wouldn't drag the truth out of her as to why she chose that specialisation. "Final results still awaiting sir, but yes. I did my PG in Neurology. The last one week I've been reporting to Dr Bhargav, your assistant."
Ashutosh swallowed the rock that seemed to have lodged in his throat.Neurology. His Nidhi was following his footsteps. Pride lit his face and he wanted to grin like an idiot. He wanted to go to her, cup her cheeks in his palms, drown her face with his kisses. He wanted to hug her tight, lift her up and twirl her around. He finally cleared his throat and nodded. "OK. That's..good. That's really good. I'm..I'm sure you'll come out with flying colours. And uh..yes. You can continue to report to Dr Bhargav. Good luck Dr Verma. "
He turned and walked out. A moment later, with a final nod at Ranganath, Nidhi followed suit and made a beeline for the common room. Ranganath heaved a sigh of relief before taking out his phone and sending a quick message to Dr Armaan.
"Head honko back on base. Already met the lady. Now coming your way."
He got an immediate reply - "Should I duck or hide or run?"
"I think we should get together and plan our next step."
"Whoa! Air is crackling already? That was fast! Will meet soon for all the juicy details."
Chapter Three
Ashutosh wanted to talk to Armaan but his friend had a full OPD. Unwilling to barge in for a personal talk, he turned and went back to his cabin. His sanctuary. She was going to stay. Strangely, the thought of playing with fire didn't worry him. All he felt was peace that she had accepted to stay at KGH. He would get to see her every day for the next six weeks. His loneliness and pain would be tenfold after she leaves this time but he didn't want to think about that. He wanted to store up some more memories. Memories that would warm his cold heart once the six weeks were up. The last time he had thought..hoped for a forever. But this time, the date of expiration was already released. Six weeks. With a sigh, he picked up his phone to check about the next day's OPD.
The next couple of hours passed as he brought himself up to date with all the cases Bhargav and Nidhi were handling and instructed Ranganath to set up a schedule for the upcoming surgeries. A cursory knock sounded on his door and a moment later, Armaan poked his head in, "Hey, you're back!"
Ashutosh looked up with impassive eyes and nodded. Armaan entered the cabin and closed the door softly behind him. He sat in the visitor's chair and waited for what he knew was to come. Finally Ashutosh removed his glasses and leaned back in his chair. "You couldn't keep away, could you? You had to meddle. Why Armaan?"
Armaan folded his hands over the table and said in an earnest voice. "Because you guys are in love with each other." Ashutosh just shook his head. "Tere yu sar hilaanese sach jhoot nahi hojaata mere bhai. Tu Nidhi se pyaar karta hain."
"Whatever we had ended two years ago Armaan. On mutual agreement."
Armaan scoffed. "You guys had a mutual agreement to stab each other's hearts? And do what? Live the life of half dead? Mahaan banta hain saala! Cha!"
Ashutosh got up. His face flushed red with anger. "Mujhe mahaan banne ka koi shouk nahi hain Armaan."
Armaan also got up to face him head on. Time to beat around the bush and handling the issue with kids' gloves was long gone. He was abruptly very sure that once these six weeks were up, Nidhi would leave. This hospital, this city, maybe even this country. He had to do something. "Then tell me why you did what you did. What was the reason behind your decision?"
Ashutosh looked turn and walk away but something in Armaan's expression stopped him. His friend was not going to let it slide this time. He sighed and started talking. He told him about their valentine's day; each and every moment of which was forever etched in his mind. His initial refusal to celebrate, her disappointment and later on, their blinding joy at making the day memorable in their own special way. He had truly thought that together, they had found a middle ground that was just their own. That their relationship stood a chance. Then he had gone to her house, met Mandira and that was the beginning. Of the end. He had had an insight into what would be awaiting him and Nidhi had they come out clean about their relationship.
"Armaan, pehle apne maa baap, phir baba. Pyaar paakar khone ka dard mein jaanta hoon. But Nidhi.." He shook his head. "She had always lived a protected life surrounded by love. I couldn't let her go through the same path of pain that her cousin Mandira went through in that house. I knew my decision to break off would hurt her but I always knew she would have her family to fall back on and their love would heal her. She would move on." He took a deep breath and faced his friend. "I'm elder than her so it was up to me to take the right decision."
Armaan folded his hands. If anything, he looked angrier. "And what was she Ashu? A baby? A toddler? An adolescent in the throes of her first crush? She is an adult Ashu. A doctor. She can make her own decisions. But you never gave her a choice, did you?"
"And what would have happened had I given her the choice Armaan? I'll tell you. She would've stayed with me. With someone who was fifteen years older than her, with no common tastes or interests, with her family shunning her, society taunting her.." He whirled away. The grip he had on the back of his chair tightened until his knuckles turned white as he continued, "and how long would she have stayed with all that baggage?"
"And there you have the real reason for pushing her away. Your cowardice. You were scared to risk your heart. You were scared to be left alone again."
"Yes..no. Whatever I did I did for her own good. Look at her now. Without me in her life, she achieved so much. Completed her internship.."
"Because she came to love this profession..through YOU."
"She did her PG.."
"In neurology."
"She is going to be a wonderful doctor."
"Like you."
Ashutosh had enough. He picked up his jacket and slung it over his shoulder. "Tumhe jo socha hain, socho. I'm done trying to explain things to you."
"And now she is back here. What are you going to do?"
With one hand already on the door knob, he replied, "Nothing. She'll complete her six weeks as per the contract and leave. That's it." And walked out.
That's it? And he expects me to sit and watch the show? He's got to be kidding me! With a determined glint in his eyes, he took out his phone. "Ranganath? We need to talk."
****
In the common room, Nidhi was still trying to gather her thoughts when her phone rang. It was Anji.
"Haan Anji, bol."
"Hey Nidhi. Busy?"
"No. I was just.."
"Umm..Ranganath told me that..Nidhi, how are you?"
"I'm fine. Absolutely fine."
"Jhoot bolna ek kala hain Dr Nidhi Verma and you suck at that." Both friends shared a wry laugh. "Nidhi, tell me honestly, you OK with this? Because if not.."
"I'm..I don't know Anji." She paused as if gathering her thoughts. "He loved me but never trusted me or my love Anji. That's the bottom line. The main reason I had decided to stop fighting and withdrew from his life." Immature. That one word still had the power to cut her up. Dr Mallika's favourite word to describe her. And that was what he had believed her to be. Immature. She pushed that word away from her mind and continued, "I can face and fight anyone and anything. The whole world. But I couldn't continue fighting with him. And..and it's not going to be easy to face him day in and day out but.." She took a deep breath. "I can't deny that I'll get to learn a lot in these six weeks. Professionally it's a good move Anji. So I'll stay and finish what I started and then..and when it's done, it will be done. No more." Liar!Her heart taunted her. She ignored it.
Anji decided to change the topic. "Achcha chal chod, yeh bata, baba se baat ki?"
"Haan. Do din pehle baat hue unse. Dadi bua ab teek hain. BP control hogaya hain aur medicines bhi waqt par lerahi hain."
"Nidhi, how long will you live in that apartment all by yourself? Go back home na."
"You know what would happen if I go home Anji. I don't want a repeat of that day. And you know that once baba issues his ultimatum there is no going back. And after that day..Anji, I don't like to be conned that way."
"Come on yaar, it was a genuine misunderstanding. They thought.."
"Misunderstanding? You call that a misunderstanding Anji? I call it taking me for granted."
Lost in the conversation, she didn't hear the door open until, "Dr Nidhi? Dr Nidhi?" A hesitant voice reached her. She turned. It was one of the young nurses from the paediatric ward. "Anji, I'll talk to you later. Bye." Bidding a hasty farewell, Nidhi cut the call and looked at the nurse. "Yes? Is there a problem?"
"Ma'am, the child in bed number 12..I gave her medicine but she is not sleeping. It's past their bedtime and.." She stopped and gave her a pleading look. Technically it was not her job and the nurse knew it. But at that moment, she welcomed the diversion and made her way to the ward.
Mishty, a little girl of 6. She had been admitted for jaundice and was one of those patients many would qualify as difficult. Yet Nidhi had connected with her almost instantaneously. The staff having noted their easy rapport preferred to call her when Mishty refused her meds or injection. Silently, she made her way to her bed, sat on the chair and gently held the little girl's hand and murmured. "Mish, what is it sweetheart? Why are you not sleeping?"
"M not sleepy. I feel alone. Want to go home," came the plaintive reply.
"You're not alone Mish. See, all your friends here are right beside you asleep."
And that probably was the real reason that was why she had sympathised with this child. Mishty had been admitted here but her family could not come every day. at first the staff had sympathised with her but due to her attention seeking antics they could no longer handle her and limited themselves to delivering medical treatment.
"OK..Hmmm..How about I tell you a story? But after that you have to sleep. Deal?" Nidhi said playfully.
"OK deal!" The kid gave a high five.
Nidhi moved nearer to the little girl and started her story. "Once in faraway land there was a king who was lonely. He stayed in his palace. Never went anywhere and never had any friends. People in his kingdom were very afraid of him and stayed far far away from his palace."
"Then?" asked the little voice.
Nidhi lost herself in the past as she continued with her story. "He remained alone in his palace until one day a butterfly came knocking at his door. He tried to shoo it away, but the butterfly was a stubborn little thing. It liked the king and never left his side. The king let her stay in his house for a few days but used to be very angry with the butterfly. "Why can't you leave me alone like everyone else does?" he shouted one day. The butterfly was not one to give up easily. She realised that behind all that anger, the King was hurting. This realisation made her more determined to get him out from his prison. Bit by bit the king started to warm up to her and soon he no longer minded the butterfly staying in his palace."
"Hmmm..then? They became best friends?" Mishty's voice turned languid.
"Well..the butterfly thought so. All it wanted was to live with the king forever and ever. But the king.." Nidhi was engrossed in her story and didn't realise that someone else had entered the room.
Ashutosh had decided to go on a final round before going home. His final stop had been the paediatric ward and once again his attention had been drawn to that voice. And that story. He waited for her to continue but apparently the child had gone off into her own dreamland and Nidhi's voice became silent as she tucked the blanket around the small girl He turned to go as soundlessly as he had entered but his phone slipped from his hand and fell on the floor with a soft clatter. He picked it up hastily and raised his eyes to meet hers. A brief flash of unnameable emotion flashed in her eyes before a shutter fell over them shutting him out. That blank look..the thought that he was the cause for it nearly felled him.
Nidhi got up from the bed and had almost reached the door when she heard her name in his rough baritone voice. "Nidhi?"
"Nidhi.." he repeated softly. "Kaisi ho?"
For a moment she thought she was hearing things. That voice..that tone! It was not the doctor talking but the man she had fallen in love with. She turned around and looked at him. No. She wasn't hallucinating. Standing right in front of her was not Dr Ashutosh Mathur. It was her Ashuji. Her heart twanged before she could squash the sound.
"I'm OK."
A terse reply was all she could manage. If she read more into his question she would run the risk of getting hurt once more.
"Thank you" he said, "Thank you for staying at Kotnis."
She nodded briskly. She had been right not to read too much. This was not her Ashuji. It was Dr Ashutosh Mathur, Dean of KGH, through and through. And she'd do well remember that. "I have been taught well sir. Back in my internship days I was taught by my senior that if one started a job, one has to always complete it. No matter what." With that parting shot, Nidhi turned and walked out of the ward.
Dr Nidhi Verma, you are a glutton for punishment. STAY OUT of his way from now on!
Ashutosh looked at her departing back. At the brisk no nonsense walk and the slight swing of the ponytail that held her long straight hair away from her face during the hospital hours and silently cursed himself.
Dr Ashutosh Mathur, don't do this to yourself. STAY OUT of her way from now on!
Neither realized that Ranganath, who was locking up his office, had been privy to the whole exchange.
****
Staying out! Easier said than done, Nidhi thought the next morning as she stared at the duty chart that Ranganath had just given her. She looked at her watch and sighed. She had delayed going to the OT as long as possible. Any more would be unacceptable even to her. She braced herself and pushed the OT's swinging doors. With quick efficient movements, she changed into sterile scrubs and walked from the changing cabin to the theatre. As she was already gloved, a nurse hurried to hold the door open for her.
"Sir is already in," the nurse whispered to her.
Nidhi nodded and stepped inside. The surgery hadn't begun yet. The anaesthetist was just getting ready, the table had been raised so that the patient was in a reclining position and Dr Ashutosh and his assistant Dr Bhargav were positioned behind the patient's head. But those were not the things that caught her attention. No. What she noticed was the fierce glower on the chief surgeon's eyes..well..all she could see were the eyes behind the eyeglasses. The rest of his face was covered in the surgical mask and an intern shivering and stammering out an apology. Somethings just never change, she thought ruefully.
"Good morning everyone. Am I late?"
Everyone's gaze turned to her and pin-drop silence ensued as the team waited for the dean to annihilate her with a few well-chosen words.
"Good morning Ni..Dr Verma. We're just getting started. I trust you are up to date with the case?" That eyebrow of his raised and touched his dark blue surgical cap.
She nodded. "Choroid Plexus. A rare benign tumour that arises from the brain tissue called choroid plexus that invades the nearby tissue and starts spreading. It is more common among children so this case, a forty year old man, is a rare one."
And just like that, both of them seized to be Ashutosh and Nidhi. They were now Dr Ashutosh and Dr Nidhi. Surgeon and the neurologist. The anaesthetist did his job, nodded at Ashutosh and stepped back. Ashutosh nodded at one of the interns. "Do you know what this is?" He gestured to what he had in his hand. He didn't pause what he was doing but soon the interns realized that he was waiting for an answer. They looked at each other's eyes. "Dr Verma? Want to explain?"
"That is called a stereotaxy and what sir is going to perform today is called stereotactic craniotomy. The sterotaxy works like a satellite navigation or GPS system in your car. The surgeon uses a wand or a pointer," she gestured to thin long needle on the instrument and she continued her class. "to see exactly where he is in the brain or on the skull, as depicted on a CT or MRI scan. This real-time' navigation," she pointed towards the screen, "facilitates location and removal of the tumour."
And on and on the class went with Ashutosh adding a few words in between but otherwise letting Nidhi do all the explaining. But as the window of bone was slowly removed from the skull, one of the interns gave a small exclamation before fainting dead away at Nidhi's feet. Ashutosh didn't even blink.
"Please shift him to the ward and give him some fluids," was all he said.
Ranganath watched them from the overhead gallery for a few silent moments before walking out. Looking at them now, both engaged in an animated conversation about the effects of the tumour and the treatment process..at the way they were literally completing each other's sentences..he did not regret the emotional twisting that he had done to make her come back. Back in the OT, Ashutosh stepped back and shook his head to remove his kinks. He looked straight at Nidhi, his gaze searing her with its intensity.
"Want to try your hand at closing the incision, Dr Verma?"
The entire team including Dr Bhargav looked shell-shocked. Then just as abruptly everyone started moving, making way for her to come forward. Bhargav nodded and gestured her to take his place while he stepped back to watch. He knew what he was doing right now would probably feed the KGH gossip for weeks to come but at that moment he didn't care. The joy and pride he had felt at seeing her as a budding Neurologist was indescribable. Even as she came close and took over the suturing, he didn't leave the OT like he normally did. He stood behind her like a gawking teenager and watched her steady hands complete the task that he had begun. Confident. Precise.
Nidhi..I'm so so proud of you.
"Good work," was all he said.
****
Ranganath watched as the whole team exited the theatre one after the other. A couple of doctors had stayed back to oversee the patient transfer to the ICU. He saw Nidhi's shining and slightly flushed face. And watched the way Dr Heartstone actually stop, smile and talk to the patient's family. A task which he, for the past couple of years, had been leaving to his assistant. He quickly took out his phone to give the daily update to his co-conspirator.
"Surgery a resounding success."
"Fantastic! Now for the next step. Did you talk to your wife?"
"Not yet."
"Stop stalling and step on it man!"
"Really not looking forward to sleeping on the sofa. But will do it. Today."
Anji shook her head. "No. I won't do it. I won't manipulate her that way. She'll think I've conned her and she'll withdraw from me too. Her baba tried to do something that he thought was for her own good. Net result? She walked out of her own house and till today hasn't gone back."
Anji thought back to the days she had spent time at Yograj uncle's house. The fun, the masti. She and Nidhi had been inseparable. Then Nidhi went and fell in love and all that changed. Despite her mom, Shyama's concern, Anji had been supportive of her friend. Fat good that it did. The guy himself didn't support her. He had raised all her hopes and dreams but abandoned the ship midway through the journey. The pain and disillusionment had made Nidhi wary and cynical. She alone knew Nidhi's battles and how she had strived not to let the pain crush her to the ground. Now the past was repeating itself again and.. she glared at Ranaganath. And her husband decided to try his hand at matchmaking.
Ranganath could easily read the emotions chasing across his wife's face. With an arm around her shoulders, he guided her to the sofa and made her sit on it before taking a seat right beside her. "Anji, I know what you are saying and thinking. And to some extent I probably agree too. But tell me one thing honestly Anji. Are you happy with me? As your husband and partner?"
Anji nodded and gave a tremulous smile. "Very very happy. And lucky and privileged and honoured and.."
Ranganath couldn't hide his pleasure at those words. He hugged her tight before pulling back to look at her face. "Thank you and the same thing goes back to you multiplied. Now think. Don't you want your friend to be as happy as you are? Doesn't Nidhi deserve that?"
Anji sighed. "Yes, she does. Of course, she does. But.."
"And do you honestly think that left alone like this, she would find someone else one day?"
Anji knew the answer but took a few moments to bring the words out. "No. She wouldn't. We've been friends since we were three years old. I know her inside out. For her it's him or no one." And her face told him what she thought of him.
"Then why not give them another chance Anji? Maybe that's why God pushed them together once again now. Whatever it was that held them back the previous time, maybe they would overcome it."
Anji pounced on that. "They? What do you mean they? She didn't leave him.He told her to go."
"And she left." Ranganath calmly inserted. "He told her to go and she left. She didn't fight, did she?" For a man like Dr Ashutosh, with all his past baggage, it would have probably been another nail in what he saw as the coffin of their love.
Anji's eyes fluttered. "Why should she fight with her lover for her love Ranga? It's her right, isn't it? And if he was not willing to give it to her, what was she supposed to do? Beg? And don't even get me started on what she had to go through with that Dr Mallika!"
Ranganath raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Relax. I'm not blaming her. Anyone would've done the same thing given the same situation probably. And I'm not judging either. Just..think about it Anji. Please?"
Anji gave a grudging nod. "What do I have to do?"
"Remember I told you about a group of US doctors visiting India? They're going to be in Lucknow tomorrow and the day after. In their honour KGH has arranged a party tomorrow evening. Cocktails followed by dinner. As the dean, Dr Ashutosh has to make an appearance. He doesn't have a choice. I want you to convince Nidhi and bring her also to the same party."
Anji looked a little sceptical. "Where is the party going to be?"
"Piccadily." He named one of the top five star hotels of Lucknow.
Anji rolled her eyes. "Did you even see that banquet hall? If both of them stood in separate corners, they wouldn't even be able to see each other."
"Yes meri jaan. I know that. I was the one who took care of all the arrangements. It's not the party we are interested in. It's how Nidhi would get there and how she would get back home after the party."
Anji realized where her husband was going with this. She huffed out. "Fine. I'll do it. But remember one thing Ranga..if he messes it up again or hurts her more, I'm going to personally go and cut his heart out of his chest. And don't say I didn't warn you."
****
Nidhi and Anji got down from the car in front of Picadily the next day evening and waited for Ranganath while he went to park it. Anji ignored the twinge of guilt and smiled at Nidhi. "Thanks for agreeing to come yaar. Normally Ranganath goes to these parties alone but this time around he wanted me to come and I hardly know anyone there. And when they gather, all they talk about is surgeries and autopsies." She shuddered. Doctors really did have weird topics as a part of their dinner conversations. How they could actually discuss cutting up a dead human body with food in their mouth was beyond her. "At least with you beside me, I will have some company."
Nidhi nodded and shrugged with a faint smile on her face. "It's OK Anji. You don't need to go all formal on me. I do realize that I haven't been the best of the friends lately but.."
"Hey, don't say that. We're best friends forever and nothing can change that."
Nidhi nodded again. Ranganath walked up to them and all three of them made their way to the banquet hall. Whatever happened in the next couple of hours, Nidhi braced herself to endure it stoically. There would be a lot of people there. She could easily lose herself in the crowd. And if fates were kind to her, he would completely skip the event. He never liked to socialize much anyway. So maybe he wouldn't..
"Hi Ranganath! Hi Anji!" Armaan shook Ranganath's hand and nodded at Anji who nodded back with a smile. Then he turned to Nidhi and his lips stretched into a truly affectionate smile. "Good to see you here Nidhi."
"Hello Armaanji." Then her eyes fell on him. Ashuji! NO! Stupid, just shut up. Get it into your head once and for all. He is no longer your Ashuji. He is Dr Ashutosh Mathur. Steel grey suit with palest of the pale blue shirt and a grey, blue and black striped tie. Neatly trimmed beard and gently simmering eyes behind the thin eyeglasses. Fates were being exceptionally cruel to her, she decided. "Hello sir. Good evening," she said in a voice as bland as she could make it.
"Hello..Dr Nidhi..Verma." He nodded at the other two. After a slight hesitation, he took a step back and raised his hand that was holding a glass filled with some kind of soft drink. "Please excuse me." He turned and walked away, his mind and heart imprinted with the vision that was Nidhi. Pale blue soft silk sari with its wide silver border, silver coloured blouse, a single strand pearl necklace with a small locket and pearl ear rings.
Nidhi ignored the whiplash to her heart and turned towards Anji. "I'll be back in a moment. OK?" and walked in the opposite direction.
Armaan looked in both directions. "Well..that didn't take long! One look and both of them have scurried away."
"Did you expect more Dr Armaan?" Anji couldn't resist asking.
"Honestly, no. That's why I have the backup plan ready. Ready Ranganath?"
Ranganath cleared his throat. "Sir, I think we should wait at least until the dinner actually begins. I mean food poisoning without actually eating anything..and with a hall full of doctors.."
Armaan looked around and grabbed a plate of starters from the nearby table and shoved it at Ranganath. "Now eat fast. If anyone asks, I'll tell them you were ready with faint with hunger so started ahead. What are you waiting for? Eat! I'm betting that our dear dean is ready to walk out of the party."
A few minutes later, Nidhi's phone buzzed just as she was making conversation with one of her colleagues at KGH. She frowned at the caller id and took the call. "Yes Anji?"
Anji tried to sound suitably worried. "Nidhi, Ranga ate something here and is puking like crazy."
"Oh my God! Food poisoning? Where are you? I'm coming."
"No no no no..uh..he..he is allergic to corn and I think that starter had corn in it. So I'm taking him home right now."
Nidhi blinked. "Uh OK. Do you need help?"
"No. I'll manage. Have the meds at home. So I'm off right away. But..you.."
"Don't worry about me Anji. I'll..I'll manage. I'll book a cab. You take care and call me if you need anything."
"Sure sure." She glared at the two smirking men as she cut the call. "The things you guys make me do!"
Armaan nudged Ranganath. "Your turn now. Call Ashu and please try to sound a little weak. And don't give him a chance to refuse or slide. Just tell him and cut the call. Tell him and cut the call." Ranganath hesitated. "Just do it. If I talk, he will smell the fish. Look, forget that he is your boss.."
"And that could fire me any time.."
Armaan waved it away. "I'll get you another job if that happens. Just. Make. The. Damn. Call."
Nidhi came out through one of the doors that led to the hotel pool area and sat on one of the chaise lounges. She had come there under durance and now she was stuck. A quick glance at her watch told her that it was almost forty five minutes since she came. Long enough. And it's not as if anyone would notice and comment on her absence. She was not even a permanent member of KGH doctor team. She was someone who was just..passing through. Once again. She took out the phone from her handbag to dial for a cab when some sixth sense alerted her of his presence.
"Nidhi," Ashutosh's rough baritone voice made her jerk and turn. He stood at the door that separated the pool from the banquet hall. His eyes were impassive as he said, "Ranganath called. He is not well and has left. He asked if I could drop you home."
Seriously? Ranganath couldn't find anyone else? Or did all that puking addle his brain cells? "Thank you sir but I'll manage."
"Nidhi, I promised Ranganath that I would drop you and drop you I will. My duty here is done and I can see you are ready to leave too." He gestured to her handbag and the phone in her hand. "So, let's go." He turned and walked away without giving her a chance to reply.
Cursing Ranganath's lousy timing, she silently followed him. It was a fifteen minute drive to her apartment. Surely, she can do that without falling apart and screaming at him like a fishwife as to why he pushed her out of his life, can't she? Of course, she can. With that firm resolve, she nodded her thanks to the doorman of the hotel who held the car door open for her and got into the passenger side. Ashutosh waited until her seatbelt was fastened before releasing the handbrake. Within moments, his silver Etios merged into the traffic. Both were silent. An uncomfortable silence filled with their silent agony .
"Nidhi..I..I miss you. I pushed you away but..I miss you. So much."
"Do you ever think of me Ashuji? It still hurts. Hurts so much Ashuji. I miss you."
As the car stopped at one of the traffic signal, Ashutosh switched on the radio in an effort to get away from his thoughts. But luck was just not with them that day. The song that was being played seemed to be a mere reflection of their cogitations.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HooA8xUUEE
E ajnabi tu bhi kabhi aawaaz de kahin se
E ajnabi tu bhi kabhi aawaaz de kahin se
Main yahan tukdon mein ji raha hoon
Main yahan tukdon mein ji raha hoon
Tu kahin tukdon mein ji rahi hai
Nidhi looked out at the ebb and flow of the traffic, refusing to face him knowing that he would be able to read her thoughts if she did. And she felt his gaze on her profile more than once. Being in this car brought back so many memories. Their trips together to the orphanage, darga, the first rain, tea stall, the first time he had taken her to his house..so many recollections that brought a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. That filled her heart and tore it up to pieces.
Roz roz resham si hawa aate jaate kahti hai bataa
Resham si hawa kahti hai bata
Woh jo doodh dhuli masoom kali
Woh hai kahan kahan hai woh roshni kahan hai
Woh jaan si kahan hai
Main adhoora tu adhoori ji rahi hai
Ashutosh was driving but his heart was miles away. Scenes from his past whizzed through his mind.
"Dr Ashutosh, see that kid? He is so cute na."
"Yeh kya hospital ke baahar bhi Dr Ashutosh Dr Ashutosh Nidhi? I mean..it was OK when you were just my intern but.."
"But?" Her impish smile and laughter filled eyes turned to look at him. "But what has changed?"
"Ashuji, Ashuji, arre..wait for me na. Why do you always have to walk so fast? Aise saath saath..haath pakadke chalte haina. It would be so romantic." Nidhi comically fluttered her eyelashes making him shake his head and laugh softly.
"Ashuji neend nahi aarahi..apna violin bajayiye na please?"
E ajnabi tu bhi kabhi aawaaz de kahin se
E ajnabi tu bhi kabhi aawaaz de kahin se
Main yahan tukdon mein ji raha hoon
Main yahan tukdon mein ji raha hoon
Tu kahin tukdon mein ji rahi hai
"Sir..Dr Ashutosh.." Her sudden insistent voice jerked him out of his thoughts and he looked at her. "You are going the wrong way. I don't live there anymore. You have to go back to the previous exit and then the third road on your right."
Ashutosh frowned and then appeared stunned. Nevertheless, he took a U turn at the next intersection and went in the direction that she had mentioned. She was not staying with her baba? Why? What happened? Why didn't Ranganath mention this to him? Another sudden thought occurred to him making him swerve the car roughly to the side of the road and pump on the brakes. The car shuddered to a halt with a faint screech. Nidhi swallowed and avoided looking at him directly. She knew what he was going to ask. And she didn't want to answer.
"Nidhi..w-why are you not staying with your baba? Have you.." He stopped to clear his throat and swallow the lump that seemed to have lodged there. "Are you married?"
"Is that what you think?"
"I don't know what to think. And that's why I'm asking you. Why are you not staying with your baba?"
"And if I don't answer?"
"Nidhi..please!"
The husky plea reached her as none of the demands would have. She looked out of the window. "After leaving KGH, I went and completed my internship at City Centre Holy Hospital. I thought I would continue there as a junior doctor. Then..my baba and dadi bua somehow got it into their head that Rohan and I liked each other. They assumed I loved him and he me. And without telling either of us or stating their intentions clearly, they arranged our engagement. Both of us came to know about it the morning of our engagement in front of all the guests. We refused. His parents had been there too. They took offense and so Rohan took them and left to go back to Delhi."
"Rohan..he is not here now?"
Nidhi shook her head. "No. He left that day and didn't come back. Now he has got a great job in Mumbai and is settling down. We thought it better to keep away from each other. Give our parents time to recover and stuff." She paused and sighed tiredly. "But dadi bua didn't get over it. Baba also was very angry. He wanted to know the reasons for my refusal." She shrugged her shoulders. "I finally told him I was in love with someone else but refused to say more. He got more angry. Mere ghar mein rehna hain toh mere hisaab se chalna hoga tumhe. Those were his words. And I couldn't do that. I had already taken Anji's suggestion by then and had applied for PG entrance. I got the seat and moved into an apartment." She took a deep breath and faced him squarely. "But please don't worry about all that sir. It is no longer your problem."
Ashutosh had a dazed look on his face. "And..and your baba? Is he OK with this?"
"I've not cut off my relations sir. I'm just not living in that house that's all. We keep talking over the phone." Her lips formed a wry smile. "He is an army guy. He won't budge or take back his words. And I'm an army man's daughter. I won't budge either."
Ashutosh shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. He had pushed her away so that she wouldn't get hurt or be kept in a position where she would end up having to choose. And truth be told, he didn't want to be left alone while she chose her family over him. But now..even after he had ended their relationship..she chose her broken relationship with him over the love of her whole family? Her baba?
"But Nidhi..why?" That one question had everything in it. Disbelief, bewilderment, pain. And despite his stern refusal to acknowledge, there was joy and hope. She still loved him. She loved him as much as ever, if not more. Nidhi was still madly, crazily, utterly in love with Ashutosh.
"Why do you care sir? They are probably just impulsive acts of an immature girl fifteen years your junior." On that note, she got down from the car and closed the door before bending to look at him through the window. "I can walk the rest of the way Dr Ashutosh. My apartment is just one street away. Thank you." And did just that. Walked away.
Chapter Five
"Why do you care sir? They are probably just impulsive acts of an immature girl fifteen years your junior."
Those words kept resonating in his mind. After staying on the road long enough to see for himself that she reached her apartment building safely, Ashutosh drove home. But he couldn't remember driving. Or reaching home. Or changing. And here he was, the next day morning at KGH, in his cabin, still thinking about those words.
Immature, impulsive, junior. She was none of those things. Sure, she had probably started out that way when she had been a new intern under his tutelage but it hadn't taken her very long to blossom into a competent junior doctor. Yet, she thought that was how he had viewed her all through their relationship. And maybe he did too. And Mallika hadn't helped things either. His friend had known his weakness, his fear that he was too old and jaded for Nidhi and had used it ruthlessly. But he didn't blame Mallika either. No. The fault had been his. For listening to her and basing his own acts on her thoughts. And that long ago day when Nidhi and he had parted ways, what was it that Nidhi had said? Mallika had hurt her time and again. But Nidhi had never shared any of that with him at that time. Why?
In the next moment, he scoffed at himself. As if he would need rocket science to know the reason. Nidhi felt that if she said anything he wouldn't believe her. She probably had been too scared to rock the boat. That meant her level of insecurity went deep even when they had been together. She had felt she could not compete with Mallika. That he would trust his friend more. Wasn't that what he did in the past? More than once? He winced and cringed in shame. Reasons behind his actions didn't matter. All she could see was him siding his friend.
Yet two years ago she had tried to fight for their feelings and their relationship. Now he was ready to fight but she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him. So where did that leave them? Back at square one? Did they really have a chance this time around? Circumstances were still the same. He didn't know but he sure would fight for that chance with everything in him. Nidhi didn't trust him. But she still loved him. Probably more than he deserved or imagined. He couldn't..wouldn't let her love..their love down by being a coward. He would stand, face his fears and fight. He would win her all over again. He can't let her go now. He can't survive it. Not again. Never again.
"Ashutosh, you listening to what I'm saying?" Armaan's fingers snapping in front of his eyes brought him out of his contemplations.
"Uh..yeah..what?"
Armaan sighed and patiently repeated. "We need that OT back in order soon. This hospital can't function with just two OTs boss. I had to postpone three of my surgeries because Dr Gandhi had some emergency C-section."
"Yeah..yeah. I already discussed this with the others. Work is all done and fumigation is on. You should have it by this evening."
"Thank the God Lo.."
The firm knock on Ashutosh's cabin door cut off the rest of Armaan's sentence and a moment later, Nidhi entered. She barely looked at either man. But one glance at her, Ashutosh knew why she had come. And he was right. She extended a neatly folded A4 size paper.
"Sir, I'm resigning. This..this is my resignation letter. Since..since it is before the scheduled date, I'm willing to forgo my pay for the duration that I have worked."
Nidhi knew that she was sounding desperate. But she didn't have a choice. Up until the previous night, she had tried to stick to her professional mode, shoving away all her personal feelings aside for the duration of the six weeks. But after the previous night..something snapped within her. He had not been Dr Ashutosh Mathur. He had been her Ashuji. Those deep intense eyes had looked at her as if memorizing and treasuring her face. And the stunned wonder in his eyes at her outburst. Now he knew. He knew and she didn't want to wait and find out what he would do with that knowledge. She was strong but not that strong. Another punch like the one he had delivered two years ago and she would shatter and die. She had to get away. Away from this man.
"Resign? But Nidhi.." Armaan frowned as he leaned forward in his seat.
Ashutosh picked up the intercom and punched a number. "Ranganath, can you get Dr Nidhi's file into my cabin, please? Immediately. Yes. Thank you."
Sure enough, barely a few moments later, Ranganath entered the cabin with the requested file in his hand and extended it to Ashutosh. "What is this about sir?"
Armaan was quick to impart the information. "Nidhi has submitted her resignation." Both men exchanged hopeless looks. What to do now?
Ashutosh made a great production of reading the contract that Nidhi had signed before agreeing to come to KGH as a temporary doctor. At the end he looked up with a faint frown. "The contract you've signed states that six weeks Dr Verma and you've been here for a week. You still have five weeks to go."
"Yes sir..but.." Nidhi was at a loss for a few moments before recovering. "But since most of the doctors who had been on leave are now back on duty.."
"Nowhere in the contract does it state the clause that you can quit under such circumstances."
Damn! Why was he doing this to her? What does he want? "Surely, you can make an exception. I'm sure Dr Ranganath doesn't want KGH to be over staffed."
"It is very nice of you to be worried about the administrative issues of KGH but frankly, they don't concern you, Dr Verma."
Armaan and Ranganath by now were watching the face off and the volley of words being exchanged like two referees in an exciting tennis match. Sternly controlling his impulse to thump his fist in the air, Armaan assumed a neutral expression on his face and cleared his throat to draw the attention. "Nidhi..uh..Dr Nidhi Verma, Dr Ashutosh is right. You can't break the contract. It has never been done before in KGH and sure to leave a black mark."
Ranganath was quick to agree. "Yes, yes. We can't have that. What would the medical community think? That KGH can't hold on to even the temporary doctors?" He shook his head ruefully.
Ashutosh closed the file and handed it back to Ranganath before turning towards Nidhi. "Is that it?"
Reading the effective dismissal in that one word, she reluctantly nodded and took a step back. "Ranganath, how are you feeling today?"
"Me?" Ranganath blinked at Nidhi's sudden question. Then winced and stumbled as Armaan swiftly kicked him under the table. "Uh..yeah..me..yes. I'm fine. Better. Much better now. I shouldn't have eaten that paneer."
Nidhi frowned. "But..I thought it was corn."
Ranganath took a hasty step back to avoid another kick to his shins. "Yes. That too. I'm allergic to both actually. And the starter had both. Double impact. Double impact."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K54Zgrmlamk
Rom rom tera naam pukaare Ek hue din reain hamare
Hum se hum hi chiin gaye hai Jab se dekhe hai nainn deewane
Sajda ..
Nidhi nodded and with another long look at Ashutosh, which he returned with intent burning eyes, she turned and walked out of the cabin.
"Why won't you let me go?"
"I won't let you go. I can't."
Teri kaali ankhiyon se jind meri jaage
Dhadkan se tej daudu, sapno se aagey
Ab jaan lutt jaaye, ye jahaan chhut jaaye
Sang pyaar rahe, main rahun na rahun
Sajda tera sajda,
Din reain karoon na hi chain karoon
Sajda tera sajda
Rak vaar karoon meri jaan lut doon
Pin drop silence ensued in the cabin after Nidhi's departure. Ashutosh blinked and shook his head as if to clear his thoughts before asking, "Ranganath, do you have the OPD duty list ready for this week?"
Ranganath nodded and handed over the file. Ashutosh quickly scanned the pages. The whole of the week Nidhi was going to be working with him. As his assistant. He quickly whipped out his pen and scribbled his signature before handing it over back to Ranganath. His eyes were solemn as he met the younger man's cautious look.
"Thank you." Ranganath understood what he was being thanked for and with a faint smile and a nod, took both the files and left the cabin. Armaan inhaled deeply and got up to go when Ashutosh's words reached him. "It's not good to kick people under the table, Armaan."
****
Nidhi looked at the OPD list and the case sheets in her hand. So, he wants her to stay. Fine. She would. She'd lived with the pain of his desertion for two long lonely years. She can sure do it for five more weeks, can't she? At least now she didn't have Dr Mallika's taunts to deal with. If she could get through this one week of OPD..of working along his side from 9AM to 2 PM at a stretch, she would be fine. She can keep the interaction to a bare minimum for the next four weeks and that would be it. Five hours every day for the next six days. Sure. She can do it. And if truth be told, there was a part of her that wanted that memory to store up too. She just hoped that once these five weeks were up, she could exit KGH with her sanity intact. Her heart..she had no scope of salvaging that though.
With another sigh, she picked up the files and made her way to the OPD of KGH where there were a row of cabins. Each cabin was allocated for the duty doctor of the week and there was a large reception area where all the patients waited in the vinyl chairs. Nurses were still bustling in and out of the cabins making sure everything was in place. Nidhi nodded at the three interns who were currently working in the neurology department. They wouldn't be doing anything much except sit in the spacious cabin, observe various cases and take notes on the doctor's diagnosis. Looking at their tense faces, Nidhi understood that they had already got the news as to who would be in the OPD today. Her lips stretched into a faint smile. Not long ago, she had been like them.
Goosebumps rose all over her back and neck. That was her internal radar screaming at her that Dr Ashutosh Mathur has entered the OPD. Sure enough, the brisk tap of his shoes reached her a moment later. With a nod at her and the interns, he entered the cabin. Nidhi gave him three minutes before going inside. And the interns followed her like a row of ducks. Moments later, the first patient walked in. Nidhi silently handed over the file to Ashutosh. A case of slip disc and a patient who refused to follow the exercise regime.
Ashutosh glanced through the file before turning to the patient. "Has the pain improved in the last three weeks?"
"No sir. It's horrible. I can barely sit for ten minutes at a stretch."
"Have you been doing the exercises?"
"Yes sir."
But something made him look at Nidhi who was standing behind the patient. She shook her head in a minute movement. His expression cleared. "And the sleep position? Are you still using the pillow?"
"No sir."
Nidhi shook her head again. She had been talking to the patient earlier and knew that the instructions given in the previous visit have been ignored. The patient solely relied on meds and expected to be back in full form in no time at all. Ashutosh this time had looked straight at her while he asked the question and caught her shake of head immediately. He nodded and scribbled his notes.
"I can't help you if you lie to me Mr Vyas. Meds only reduce the inflammation and pain. They do not cure what is ailing you. And neither are they long term solutions for your problem."
And on and on it went. The OPD moved faster than ever before with the interns scrabbling to keep up with the dean and the assistant. At one point one of them sighed and gave up. "I can't do it," she whispered. "They are talking in some code language. I'm not able to follow."
"I know," the second one was quick to agree. "How does she know what he wants before he asks for it? And the gestures..it is like they are discussing about the patient right in front of the patient without a word being spoken. How are we to know?" Their bewilderment was obvious.
Not to be left out, the third one leaned in to mutter, "If you ask me, he is hardly looking or acting like our famous Heartstone." All three agreed.
Ashutosh closed the file and handed it back to Nidhi. "Next?"
Nidhi had seen him rub his forehead twice. "Next..break time." She picked up the intercom and called the canteen. "Dr Ashutosh ke cabin mein ek cup chai bhejiye please. Adrak wali."
Ranjhna... naino ke teer chal gaye
Sajna... saanson se dil sil gaye
Palkon mein chupa loon, oh tera sajda karoon
Seenay mein samaa loon, oh din reain karoon
Palkon mein chupa loon, seenay mein samaa loon
Tere ang ang rang mera bole
"Please take a break sir. We'll start again in ten minutes."
As she turned to go, his voice stopped her. "You can join too. I mean..all of you are welcome to have tea right here."
She shook her head firmly and turned her head slightly. Her wary eyes met his hopeful ones. "No thank you sir. We'll have it in the canteen and join you in ten minutes." The interns breathed a sigh of relief and quickly bustled out of the cabin behind her. The way they complemented each other in their respective professional modes scared her and she needed the space to come to terms with it.
Ab jaan lutt jaaye, ye jahaan chhut jaaye
Sang pyaar rahe, main rahun na rahun
Sajda tera sajda,
****
OPD finally wrapped up; Nidhi made her way to the canteen and ordered herself a sandwich. But before she could take a bite, her pager beeped and after a quick glance at it, she threw the sandwich back on the plate and ran towards the ICU. The scene that greeted her stopped in her tracks as everything in her just..froze. One of the post-operative patients, a seven year old boy, was having a seizure. But in the next moment, she shook herself and shouted at the hovering panicked staff.
"Call Dr Ashutosh. NOW. MOVE!"
With a hasty nod, the nurse scurried away. Nidhi quickly started loading the anti-epileptic drugs and went through the patient chart to know the history and surgery details. Bare moments later, the ICU door swished open and Ashutosh entered. Without further delay, Nidhi gave him a rapid fire update and they quickly got things under control. As Ashutosh administered the drug and waited for it to take effect, Nidhi went out of the ICU to reassure the panicked parents.
"Please. Relax. Your child is safe. Relax. Sit down and take a deep breath. Don't panic. Everything is fine now." Her soft voice soothed the frayed nerves of the parents.
"But..what happened?" asked the worried father.
Quickly she explained the concept of seizures after anaesthesia and the reasons and their treatment process in layman terms. "So don't worry. Your child is in best hands. Dr Ashutosh is not one of the best. He is the best. He won't let anything happen to your son."
Nidhi's assuring words to the couple had been instinctive. As was her decision to call Ashutosh when she saw the child having seizures. She didn't hesitate or think twice about it. Ashutosh, who had just walked out of the ICU, heard every word she uttered. And his heart rejoiced.
Ab jaan lutt jaaye, ye jahaan chhut jaaye
Sang pyaar rahe, main rahun na rahun
Sajda tera sajda,
Din reain karoon na hi chain karoon
Sajda tera sajda
Rak vaar karoon meri jaan lut doon
****
That night Nidhi stayed back after her duty just to make sure the boy in the ICU was doing fine. As she sat in one of the chairs at the ICU, she stifled a tired yawn. One of the attender placed a steaming cup tea in front of her. Startled, she looked at him. The smell of ginger and tea reached her nostrils.
"Dr Ashutosh said to give it to you Ma'am."
He nodded and left her alone with her troubled thoughts and her adrak wali chai. What was he trying to do? Was this his way of apologizing? Does he want me back? For how long? A couple of hours later, she took her tired body down the elevator and towards the lobby. The child was safe. No more seizures. As she neared the paediatric ward, she heard that voice. His voice. Husky, slightly rough and deep. She stopped. It was coming from the paediatric ward. Silently, she peeked in through the door. Ashutosh was sitting by the bed of Mishti and in the stillness of the night, their voices carried easily over to her.
"I don't want Raja titli story Dr Ashutosh. It is a sad story. Raja sent the titli away and titli left crying. Nidhi didi told me that."
Nidhi's breath hitched up at that. After a few moments of silence before he said, "But your Nidhi didi didn't tell you the complete story. There is more. Raja had sent the titli away because he got scared that if titli stayed with him for long, she would get hurt. People around him would hurt her. They would say how can this old Raja be the beautiful titli's friend? And Raja didn't want titli to be hurt that way. He loved her a lot you see?"
"Oh!"
Ashutosh's deep sigh reached and wrapped around her. "Titli loved Raja and thought that it would make him happy if she left. But Mishti..Raja was not happy. He didn't know how to go on anymore. He wanted his titli back."
"You know Dr Ashutosh..titli shouldn't have left. She should've stayed na. She should've told Raja that he was her friend. Friends shouldn't do katti like that na?" Nidhi stumbled and leaned against the wall for support.
"True but Raja did hurt her a lot, didn't he? What could she do? Then after a few very sad sad days, Raja met titli again. But the titli was not like before. It had forgotten how to laugh, how to play. Raja wanted to say sorry. He wanted to ask her to be his friend again. He wanted her to smile and laugh and play again. But he didn't know how. He was never good with words.."
Nidhi didn't stay to listen any more. She turned and ran as if the hounds of hell were after her.
Chapter Six
"Titli shouldn't have left. Friends don't do katti."
Little Mishti's words rang in Nidhi's mind and heart long after she reached home. Was that true? Should she have stayed and fought? Did she give up too easily and too early? But what could she do? What kind of a relationship could it be without something as basic as trust? All the love in the world couldn't replace that one thing. And now what? He wanted her back.
"Raja was not happy. He didn't know how to go on anymore. He wanted his titli back."
A nave stupid part of her rejoiced at those words. It wanted her to run to him, throw herself into his arms and scream yes, yes, YES! It wanted her to confess that it had killed her to leave him two years ago. That she left but could never let him go from her heart. It wanted her to divulge that she agreed to stay at KGH so that she could store up some more memories of him.
Yes. Memories. Another part of her taunted. Memories would be all she would end up having. He would be nowhere in sight. Change his mind again. For her own good, of course, it scoffed. You know what, it said. Just stay away from him. He might love you but he is not going to stay with you. For however long you stay together, you would end up feeling like water droplet on a lotus leaf. There, yet not there.
No. Nidhi shook her head resolutely. She was no puppet to just abide by his beck and call. She loved him. He is part of her soul. But she couldn't risk believing only to be once again deceived. Stop ogling at him in KGH corridors, stop eaves dropping and concentrate on learning as much as she can for the next five weeks. Yes. That's what she should do. And that's what she would do. Decision made, she made her way into the shower ignoring the cravings of her heart. Her heart was an addict. It didn't know any better. So ignore.
****
Ashutosh sighed as he mechanically drove his car towards KGH. Five days have flown by and today would be the last day that Nidhi would work under him in the OPD. Every day he looked for signs of her melting a little. For that lovely smile to reappear. For her eyes to give out their impish look. And every day he ended up feeling disappointed. In his misguided attempt to do her good, he had inadvertently made her into a female version of himself. And he hated it. Hated the blank look in her eyes. Did she really feel nothing? Was he searching for something that wasn't there anymore? Should he accept and let her go? No. He can't do that. After everything that happened in the last couple of years, she has to feel something for him. Nidhi..you have come this far. Please don't give up on us..on me now. I will be with you. Would never leave you again. But give me some sign..some hope. Where do I go from here? One week is over. Only four more weeks left. Please Nidhi.
****
But what neither of them realized was, they were not the only two people worried about being run out of time. Ranganath and Armaan were sitting in the canteen, deep in discussion about their next course of action. After all, match making / meddling in people's lives was not an easy task. Lot of devious planning and cunning execution went into it.
Armaan sipped his tea as he continued to think. "OPD one week is up. Ranganath, any chance that you can extend it to another week?"
Ranganath shook his head. "Duty charts change every week. Can't do anything about it without causing undue suspicion. Not only to the staff but also to Nidhi herself."
"Yaar, no. We can't let her suspect any foul play. Ashu knows though," Armaan smirked.
Ranganath coughed and spluttered into his coffee. "He-he does?"
"Yeah." Armaan looked mightily pleased with himself. "Banda pighal gaya hain. So we have his full support." And scowled the next minute. "What a pair. Dono mein se ek hamesha Heartstone mode mein rehte hain. Weird couple I tell you." He shook his head in despair.
"Woh sab toh teek hain sir..par ab kare bhi toh kya kare? I need to work on the charts tomorrow."
"Good morning Dr Armaan. Hello Ranganath." Dr Bhargav came to their table with his own cup. As Ashutosh's assistant, he had always made it a point to come to KGH before the dean. He did the preliminary rounds of the post ops, ICU and made sure everything was in place for the fresh start of a new day. He had come that morning and done all that. His boss was yet to make appearance so he sneaked into the canteen for another cup of coffee. "Are you guys busy with something? Am I interrupting?"
Armaan made a face. "Yeah kind of.." and just like that his eyes lit up. He sat up straight. "Dr Bhargav! Good morning. Come. Come. Have a sit. Ranganath, pull up another chair for the good doctor."
Ranganath gave Armaan a have you lost it kind of a look but nevertheless, dragged the nearby chair. Bhargav gave them both another awkward smile and sat. Apparently, even he was finding the overly enthusiastic orthopaedic surgeon a little odd. "Uh, thank you."
Armaan nodded sagely. "We were actually just talking about you. Right Ranganath?"
"Huh? Yeah. Yes. Yes. That's right."
"You know Bhargav, I really appreciate your diligence. Your role as the surgeon's right hand man..awesome. And always on time, meticulous..really man..its..it's so rare these days."
Bhargav's chest swelled with pride. He glowed and blushed. "Sir..aap bhi na.."
"No no no..it's true. Kyu Ranganath?"
Ranganath blinked and all at once caught on. "Of course it's true. And as an administrator, I've never seen someone who takes so few day offs. Amazing I tell you..amazing." He shook his head in wonder.
Bhargav waved at the canteen guy and ordered breakfast for three. On his account. Armaan pretended astonishment. "Really? How many offs did he take in the last six months?"
"How many? What are you saying sir? Nil. No offs at all." Ranganath earnestly answered.
Armaan jerked back and shook his head. "What is this Bhargav? No offs at all?"
"Sir..please. It's nothing. I enjoy working here and Dr Ashutosh.."
"Arre..leave Heartstone for a minute." He leaned forward to pat Bhargav's shoulder. "You are a great doctor but you are stretching yourself too much. You need to take a break once in a while. Bhargav, if not about yourself, think about your family. They must be missing you too, right?"
Bhargav was reminded of his wife's tired face yet understanding face. Guilt stabbed him. "That's true sir but Dr Ashutosh.."
Armaan raised his palm up, cutting off the words. "What you need is some down time. Just relax, go on a vacation and come back to join the duty fresh..after three weeks."
Bhargav's eyes popped out. "Three weeks?" He squeaked. "But sir.."
"No more arguments. You are taking a break. That's it. Ranganath.."
Ranganath nodded. "Of course sir. I'll take care of it. Pay leave for the next two weeks starting Monday."
Two week pay leave! Bhargav was tempted. But.. "Sir..but Dr Ashutosh.."
Armaan sighed. "See, this! This is called dedication. Just awesome." Ranganath looked at Bhargav's flushed face. Armaan sir really was laying it on thick indeed. "It won't be easy to replace you at such a short notice but..I'm sure Ranganath will find someone. What say Ranganath?"
Ranganath pretended to think. "Yeah..I guess. Hmmm..I'll do one thing. I'll ask Dr Madhusudan to take care of surgical assistance and the rest I think Dr Verma can handle. She anyway leaves in four weeks' time. It would be a good experience for her and she'll get to learn too."
"Bhargav is doing the work of two people?"
By the time Bhargav left the canteen, Ranganath was sure, his feet would be ten feet above the ground. At least.
****
"Dr Nidhi?"
"Hmmm?" Nidhi was scanning the OPD list and didn't look up.
The intern fidgeted before venturing, "Sir is still in the OT and looks like..there is still time before the OP starts."
"Hmmm. You can see the patient charts and start making the notes about their history. There is one vascular malformations and also one hydrocephalus case."
The interns exchanged glances. "Uh..yeah. But we thought we'll go and have a quick snack at the canteen?" She was eager to reassure. "We'll be back in a jiffy and will note the case histories too. We promise."
Nidhi looked up and smiled a little. Was she coming across as that big a dragon that they were stuttering? "Sure. Go ahead. I'll brief you in case he gets her first and you miss out on anything." And winked.
The interns jumped. "Oh thank you. Thank you. We'll be here in ten minutes. Promise."
Nidhi nodded and they literally ran out of the door in case she changed her mind or Heartstone showed up. She shook her head and got back to her work. Get through this one day and she could relax. Let her guard down a little. Barely two minutes later, her internal radar went on high alert. And sure enough, a moment later, the cabin door swished open and Ashutosh walked in. He was still in his surgical scrubs. The mask had been pushed down to his neck and the cap was still in place. She frowned and got up. The cap and mask were the first things he removed after walking out of the surgery. She knew it.
"Good morning sir."
"Can you get the dressings tray please?"
That had her looking up. Ashutosh was pressing the thumb of his right hand on the palm of left hand. A thin line of blood was trickling and making its way to the back of the hand. She left the case files and rushed towards him. "Good God! What happened to your hand?"
Ashutosh gave a wry smile and shook his head as he plopped himself in his chair. "Stupidity."
Nidhi quickly got the tray and sat beside him. She took his hand and gently removed his thumb from the wound. Blood oozed out. Wound was not long but it looked deep enough to require a couple of stitches. She quickly got out the betadine and started cleaning it thoroughly. A crease of worry marring her smooth forehead. "Yeh sab hua kaise?"
Ashutosh barely felt the sting of the medicine. His eyes were locked on her face. For the moment, there was no audience and he could look at her to his heart's content. "As I said, stupidity. Haemostatic forceps. It slipped and tore through my gloves and nicked. Just slap a bandage over it. It'll heal."
Nidhi got the local anaesthetic ready. "Quit being so macho Ashuji. This needs stitches. Laayiye. Haath deejiye."
Shock and elation held him immobile. Did she realize what she had called him? He didn't think so. The biting of her lower lip, the worry clouding her eyes..Gone was the indifference, the blankness. If he had known this was all it took to crack her barriers, he would have aimed at getting a larger injury far far sooner. For now, he extended his hand and held it completely still and drowned himself in her worried jabbering as she went about cleaning up her hands thoroughly before pulling on a pair of gloves.
Ab jaan lutt jaaye, ye jahaan chhut jaaye
Sang pyaar rahe, main rahun na rahun
Sajda tera sajda,
Din reain karoon na hi chain karoon
Sajda tera sajda
"Aap bhi na..how can you be so careless? Ab dekhiye kya hogaya. And you want me to slap a bandage on it. Waah! Kya doctor hain!" She bit her lip and winced as she set about placing two neat stitches over the wound. "India ka number one neurosurgeon gets nicked by a pair of forceps but is so macho that he refuses to get it treated properly. Kahi infection vinfection hogaya toh?"
"Nidhi.." He whispered softly.
She blinked and looked at him, slid her gaze away and shut her mouth firmly. With quick efficient movements she bandaged the palm. "They're dissolvable ones so keep the hand dry for a couple of days and.."
"Nidhi.." He repeated in that same soft tone.
"If you can't handle the OP, I can call.."
"Please don't worry Nidhi. I'm fine. And as long as I have you with me, I'll be fine." He extended his bandaged palm as if to touch her cheek before closing his eyes and pulling it back.
With a small clatter, she threw the instruments back into the tray. "I'll..I'll send the nurse to clear this up. I-I think you need to take a diclofenac for-for the pain."
"After years of being numb, it is good to finally feel Nidhi. Even if it is pain." His eyes behind the eyeglasses shone at her as his lips stretched into a heart stopping lopsided smile.
Palkon mein chupa loon, seenay mein samaa loon
Tere ang ang rang mera bole
Ab jaan lutt jaaye, ye jahaan chhut jaaye
Sang pyaar rahe, main rahun na rahun
Sajda tera sajda
Nidhi did the only thing she could. She fled. But Ashutosh didn't mind it. He had the sign that he had been hoping to see. He didn't know what he would do but somehow, someway, he would tear down her barriers. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice his phone ringing for a few moments. He checked the caller id and immediately took the call.
"Hello?"
"Ashutosh, sister Mary here."
"Good morning sister. Kahiye."
"We're organising an annual day at the orphanage this Sunday."
Ashutosh blinked in surprise. "Annual day? Pehle toh nahi hoti thi sister? Yeh kabse?"
"Jab se Nidhi aane lagi. She became an integral part of this institute in the last couple of years Ashutosh. She said kids should have something to celebrate as a unit. So we started it last year. You had been out of town for last year's function."
"Oh..that's good sister. That's very good. I'm glad Nidhi thought of something like this." After his parents passed away and until his baba took him into his home, the orphanage had been his refuge. It had been a part of his childhood. And Nidhi knew it. He broke all ties that connected him to her or reminded him of her. But she in turn clung to the very same ties.
Sister Mary laughed. "Oh yeah. For the last few weeks, she has been spending every free minute here planning, teaching the kids some song and dance. And her friend Anji helped her with costumes and all." She hesitated a little before venturing, "So..will you come Ashutosh? On Sunday?"
"Of course Sister. I promise you I'll be there. What time?"
****
Nidhi hastily picked up her backpack from the common room. The OPD had been full and she barely had time to have a light lunch. She had promised the kids that she would be there for the final rehearsal and now she was in danger of running late for that. She quickly whipped out her phone and sent a message to Sister Mary saying that she was on her way. She just hoped she got a cab or an auto without too much delay.
"Uh..Nidhi?"
"Ji?" She instinctively turned towards Ashutosh's voice with a smile on her face. It took her a moment to gather her wits and the smile froze on her face. She had been thinking about the orphanage and the kids. Was that the reason she forgot herself? Must be.
But at her smile and her natural response to his call, joy erupted on his face. Both of them lost themselves as past collided with the present. How many times had he called her just like that and she had responded similarly?
"Nidhi..darga chale?"
"Ji. Woh ek jagah hain jaha jaane keliye mein kabhi na nahi kahungi Ashuji."
"Nidhi, don't you think this colour is too bright? Mujhe suit nahi karega."
"Ji? Ji nahi. This one suits you perfectly. Aur waise bhi tie contrast hi achcha lagta hain. Ab buss no arguments."
"Nidhi?"
"Ji? Arrey yeh kya? Apne woh tie kyu nahi pehna?"
"Mallika thinks I look silly wearing such a bright coloured tie. I think mujhpe ..muted shades hi achche lagte hain."
Ashutosh barely controlled a wince at the look of hurt that had flashed across her face all those days ago. Had his confidence level been so low that he had been so easily influenced by Mallika's words? Or had it been his lack of trust with regard to her feelings? Just like Nidhi accused him? Maybe it had been both. What if it was just a crush? What if she gets over it one day and moves on? Was she trying to change him so that he would fit better in her world? Those thoughts had been his constant companions. Combine them with Mallika's comments; this girl had never stood a chance. Their whole relationship had never stood a chance.
"You wanted something sir?"
Ashutosh blinked and shook his head a little. "No..I just..yeah, I wanted to talk to you about the orphanage annual day." She waited for him to continue, all the while fidgeting with her backpack. "Sister Mary said it's Sunday evening."
"Yes sir."
"You are doing a great job Nidhi. I'm..really proud of you."
Heat bloomed in her cheeks even as she desperately strived for an impassive expression. "It was..I enjoy spending time with them. And it is due to your financial backing that.."
"Money is the easiest thing to spend once you start having it Nidhi. But for those kids over there, the time you give them..its invaluable." A slight pause and then, "I'm going to come there on Sunday." Nidhi nodded and made a move to go when his next words stopped her. "I can..pick you up if that's OK with you? We can go together."
"Thank you but..I would need to be there early. Need to get the kids ready and.." Nidhi tried to feel relieved at having an excuse but all she felt was disappointment.
"No problem. Just tell me what time you need to go. I can accompany you. Help you out maybe?"
Despite her best efforts, a small smile played on her lips. "Aap bachchon ka make-up karenge?"
Ashutosh chuckled softly. "Probably not but I can help you with the boys costumes at least. Please?"
Nidhi continued to smile even as she shook her head. "You would be a guest there Ash..Dr Ashutosh."
A rueful lopsided smile played on his lips. "Hardly that. I lived there for three years Nidhi. I don't see myself as a guest. So what time do you want me to pick you up?"
Seconds ticked by as he waited patiently for the answer. Finally she wet her lips and said, "I plan to leave around two in the afternoon."
He nodded. "Great. I'll be at your apartment main gate by two." After another slight hesitation, she nodded. Ashutosh almost fell on his knees in relief.
"Abhi aapka haath kaisa hain?"
He looked at the small bandage. "No issues. Doesn't hurt much either." She nodded again. "Goodnight Nidhi."
"Goodnight." And she walked out of the common room.
Chapter Seven
Dadi bua waited for Col.Verma to speak, a look of reluctant anticipation on her face. "Kya boli woh? Kaisi hain?"
CV nodded and kept the phone aside. "Teek hain bua. KGH mein phirse join kiya haina toh busy hain. Aur kal uss orphanage ka annual day bhi hain."
"I never liked that hospital in the first place and I could never understand her weird fascination to keep on going there despite the fact that she got kicked out not long ago."
CV shrugged. "It's OK bua. That was when she had been just an intern in training. Now she is a full-fledged doctor..a neurologist no less." Pride peeked out of his voice before he sternly controlled it and continued, "Aur waise bhi ab woh badi hogayi hain. She can make her own decisions..and her own mistakes. Who are we to say anything?"
DB got riled up at those words and screeched. "What do you mean who are we? You're her baba and I'm her dadi bua. Her family. We have complete right to interfere and prevent if she is making a mistake." Her voice turned sulky. "Rohan ki ma se kal hi meri baat hue. Pata hain woh Mumbai mein kitna kamaraha hain? Itna achcha rishta tha..tukra diya iss ladki ne."
"Rohan ne bhi toh mana kiya tha bua." CV pondered on that. He could've pushed if it had been just Nidhi but when both of them had refused, there wasn't anything anyone could do.
"Agar yeh ladki maan gayi hoti toh Rohan ko toh mein khud manaleti. Cha!"
"Lekin Nidhi toh kisi aur ko chahti hain. Aisa usi ne uss din kaha tha."
DB started pacing angrily. "Lekin ladka hain kaun? She never opened her mouth on that. I pushed and pushed but she never opened her mouth or gave out the name."
Now even CV was frustrated. "That's what's eating me up too bua. Why didn't she tell me who the guy was? Or bring him to meet me? I loved Nandini. Ours was a love marriage. I would've been willing to meet." Then he forced himself to be honest. "Well..maybe not immediately but later on..after a few weeks or months..now it's been two years and she is still being close mouthed about it."
"I tell you Yog, this girl is up to no good. You shouldn't have allowed her to move out of the house into the apartment."
"What else did you want me to do? Tie her up at home? And when she refused to even listen to my side of things, how long was I to keep quiet? I thought she would try to live on her own for a few weeks, face the reality of the world without her baba beside her, regret her decision and come back. Say sorry."
"But that didn't happen, did it. She is your daughter. Zidd mein tumse chaar kadam aage hain."
CV nodded but his mind was still on the questions that never left him all these years. Who is the guy? Why is Nidhi refusing to name him? Did he reject her? Was she nursing a broken heart? Why doesn't she talk?
****
"Hey Ranganath, you busy?"
Ranganath muted the TV and replied, "No sir. Tell me." He silently mouthedArmaan sir to Anji. Anji scowled but nodded.
"You know there is that annual day thing in that orphanage. Nidhi is going there. Tomorrow." Armaan continued in whispered excitement. "Maze ki baat suno ab. Ashu bhi jaaraha hain."
Ranganath nodded and said with a straight face. "Aur Anji bhi."
"Satya nash! Why the hell..sorry..why is she going?"
Ranganath cleared his throat. "Sir, she is the one who designed the costumes for the kids and all. Tomorrow they are going to go there post lunch to get the kids ready in time.."
Armaan cut in. "No no no..she can't go..she can't go. Nidhi will hide behind your wife and.."
"But sir, Anji is much shorter than Nidhi na.." Ranganath just couldn't resist.
Armaan growled. "Don't test me. Ashu offered Nidhi a ride to the orphanage. And wonder of wonders, she accepted."
Ranganath blinked. "She did? That's..that's really great."
Armaan was on a flow. "Just imagine Ranganath..he picks her up so he has to drop her back. Raaste mein baarish..dono bheeg jaate hain..Nidhi asks him to come up.." He lowered his voice as he hummed an off-beat, "Roop tera..ah..mastana..ah..pyaar meraa deewana.."
Ranganath rolls his eyes. "Sir.."
"Or..he drops her back and she offers him a cup of coffee.." and started another one, "jaadu hain nasha hain..madhoshiyaan..shiyaan.."
"SIR!"
"zyaada hogaya? Then how about.." and hummed, "jaa..ne..do..na.. ah..paas aao na.."
"ARMAAN SIR!" Ranganath shouted.
"Uh..what?"
"I think you need to slow down and think of a couple of shaadi songs first?"
Armaan scoffed. "Forget shaadi. Let them enjoy yaar. Ouch! My wife just smacked me. But seriously what is wrong in that?"
Ranganath sighed and closed his eyes. Talk about going off the topic. He didn't even remember what they had been talking about. What was it about? Oh yeah. Orphanage, Nidhi and Anji. Right. "Sir, it won't be a problem. I'll ask Anji to skip it."
"Skip? Skip what?" Anji was quick to pounce. Ranganath signalled her to wait and quickly gave another reassurance to Armaan before ending the call. After a quick prayer to the Almighty above, he pulled Anji to sit beside him and lovingly caressed her hair.
"Anji, you know? You're so..so..you look so beautiful. I feel so lucky to have such an understanding wife. Damn lucky."
"Maska mat maro. Come to the point. What did Armaanji say?"
Ranganath sighed and started talking.
****
Ashutosh looked at the caller id and winced. He shouldn't have told Armaan about the function. But that guy had been relentless in his questioning and in the end it had just seemed easier to give in and tell him. He had stupidly thought that that would get the guy off his back. And it did. Now Armaan was off his back. He was dancing on his head. He took a deep bracing breath and answered the call.
"Yes Armaan?"
"You're still going to go, right?"
"Yes."
"No second thoughts?"
"No."
"Sure?"
"Yes."
"Can I give a suggestion?"
"No."
"You seriously want me to butt out of your business?"
"Yes."
"OK."
"Thank you."
"So..what are you going to wear tomorrow?"
The persistence of the man! "I think clothes would be a good idea."
"Clothes in my opinion are over-rated mere bhai."
"How does Kavita put up with you I absolutely have no idea and I pity your kids. Both of them."
Armaan laughed heartily. "My wife adores me and my kids love me. And you already know that. Now out with it. What are you going to wear tomorrow? Suit? I think that dark blue one.."
Ashutosh shook his head. "No. Just something a little informal. I'm going there to help not attend some board meeting."
"Awesome. Then..shorts and a t-shirt?"
"Armaan! I'm not going for my morning jog either. Now go and pester Kavita and leave me alone."
"Dost..dost..na raha..pyaar pyaar naa raha..zindagi gume tera.."
Ashutosh muttered dramebaaz under his breath and cut the call.
****
Nidhi fiddled with her long skirt one last time before taking a bracing breath and locked her apartment door behind her. Would he like the dress? She cursed herself. Why should she care? How did it even matter? No. It didn't matter. He probably preferred traditional attires. That was what Dr Mallika had always worn. One beautiful sari after another. She didn't know. In the past, whenever she had worn something new, she had asked him, he had shrugged and smiled. Once, she had stomped her feet and persisted. He had laughed and hugged her.
"I love you! No matter what you wear, you look beautiful to me."
And she had lived on those words for weeks afterwards. Now here she was, once again fidgeting and wondering about her dress selection. Goes to show how screwed up she was on the inside. The guy didn't trust her, thought her love was a transient feeling that couldn't be relied on, thought her weak and immature. And here she was wondering if her lavender and violet short sleeved top and dark violet ankle length skirt would impress him. Would his eyes gleam with passion and desire like they used to? She shook her head as if to dislodge the erratic thoughts and walked out of the building.
Nidhi came to a standstill as soon as she spotted him. He was leaning against his car looking casual and dangerous all in one go. Dark blue shirt with rolled up sleeves was left untucked over a pair of black trousers. Black slide-in shoes and a wrist watch completed his attire. He straightened as soon as he spotted her and with a smile that lit up his black black eyes, he went and opened the passenger door for her. She gave him an awkward smile and slid into the seat, fastened her seat belt and waited for him to come around.
"All set?" he asked, flashing his lopsided smile. She nodded and the car started. A couple of minutes later, they turned towards the main road which would lead them to the orphanage.
"Uh..Anji was also supposed to come. But..relatives from her in-laws side had come unexpectedly. So.."
Relatives or a meddling husband? Ashutosh didn't voice the question aloud. "Oh. OK. No problem. I'll help you out. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."
Nidhi played with the handle of her handbag. "How is your hand now?"
He showed the small band aid that now replaced the bandage and smiled into her eyes. "Hardly there. Fabulous work Doc."
Nidhi blushed and looked away. "Ever since Sister Mary told the kids that you were going to come, they have been practising something especially for you. A dance. To welcome you."
"And you have been teaching them that haven't you?" Nidhi didn't answer and that gave him the answer. "Thank you so much Nidhi."
"No need to thank me. I didn't do it for you. I did it for them."
Deciding to change the topic he asked, "Where did you do your PG?" She named the college and he blinked in surprise. "But I came there as an external examiner last year."
Nidhi nodded. "I know. For my seniors' batch."
"That college has some of the best professors in UP."
"True. It was hard work but I enjoyed it."
"Your favourite subject?"
"Neurogenetics." She warmed up quickly as the excitement of sharing her experiences with this man took over her. "But you know..I barely scraped through Neurobiochemistry."
He laughed at her exaggerated shudder. "Not pathology?"
"That was OK but this one..yeeks..gave me nightmares I tell you."
"Can you guess my bone of contention?"
"You mean you had one?" At his raised eyebrow look, she tried to give a nonchalant shrug. "I thought you were brilliant in everything."
Ashutosh shook his head. He had been brilliant in his subjects but plunked the most important subject of his life. Love. "Biostat," he said aloud. "You should've seen me before the exam. I just wanted it over and done with so that I could move on to other subjects." Nidhi started shaking her head in bemused wonder. They had reached the orphanage and Ashutosh parked the car. "What? You don't believe me? Ask Armaan if you want. He used to hide under the table to escape my nervous babbling."
After a moment of stunned silence, Nidhi burst out laughing. Not the soft laugh or even a girlish giggle. It was a full-fledged, head thrown back hearty laughter. The thought of Dr Heartstone actually babbling in his nervousness was just too weird to even contemplate. And just like that, amidst the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard, he fell in love all over again. That laugh tingled his insides and soothed his bleeding lonely heart. He wanted to capture it, nurture it and treasure it. And before he knew it, his hand reached out and cupped her soft cheek as if wanting to touch that smile. Laughter died in her and the air thickened around them in a fraction of a second. Buried thoughts came to life and instantaneously took over their hearts and bodies. Nidhi tried to draw back and tried to wet her suddenly dry lips. His dark bottomless eyes followed that tiny movement before locking back on to her eyes. His free hand started reaching out to touch and cup her face. To bring it closer and..
"We..W-we should go. K-kids."
On that garbled note, Nidhi opened the car door, got down and walked as fast as her legs would carry her without turning it into an outright run. Ashutosh followed at a slower pace his thoughts still lingering on her smile. They needed to talk. There were still issues to be addressed. His fear, her trust. Or the lack of it. But now he had hope. It gave a new spring to his step.Neither of them got to think or do anything for the next three hours. The children ran outside to greet him and the younger ones went as far as to give him a tentative hug of welcome. He was touched, moved and felt guilty for not visiting them all these weeks and months. Suffering from a broken heart didn't give him the right to hurt these little kids. Sister Mary came out and tried to bring some order among the chaotic group. Soon everyone bustled inside and arrangements for the function began in the earnest. A low level stage in the shape of a large square was arranged in the middle of the huge ground and chairs were being placed around the stage. Children were divided into two groups basing on their dresses. Nidhi took care of the dress and Ashutosh, their head gear. Both of them worked in perfect sync, just like they did in the OT and the OPD of KGH and soon all the children were ready and lined up for their performance. Ashutosh for his part couldn't stop his lips from smiling whenever they met her wary eyes and pink cheeks. He didn't let the frugal look deter him. He would win her back. Somehow, someway. He would ask for another chance and win her trust. He would overcome his insecurities and his fears. He would not..could not contemplate another alternative.
One child, a six year old Tarun, ran to him and caught his hand. "Sir, come. Our dance has begun. We learnt it for you. Come sir. Come." And dragged him into the middle of the stage. Ashutosh hadn't even realized that while he and Nidhi were getting the kids ready, the guests had come and the welcome speech was also done.
Dhol bajne laga gav sajne laga
Koi laut ke aaya hai sag apne
Vo rang kitane laya hai
Aaya re hamra mitva
Ham jhum jhum gaye
Nache re hamra manva
Ham jhum jhum gaye
Children made him stand in the middle and surrounded him with their chirpy movements and jaunty steps. He couldn't help but smile and laugh at their attics as they attempted to synchronize their movements. Soon he was clapping along with the beat and tried to follow each child's movements, the joy on their faces and laughter in their eyes. He could see Nidhi in that dance. Even if he hadn't known before, he would've known just by watching them that only his Nidhi would've taught them something like this. His eyes looked up and searched the crowd for the object of his desire and found her standing along with the rest of the orphanage staff and clapping along with the song. Her eyes were brimming with pride at what the kids had accomplished. Ashutosh bent down and whispered softly to Tarun, who nodded and ran towards his Nidhi didi.
Aanevale na ab jana kabhi chhod ke
Padte ham paiyya kabhi haath kabhi jodke
Jane na dege ham ab dil todake
Apna kunvar aaya rajeshvar aaya
Despite her protests, the kid dragged her on to the stage and before she knew it, she was one among them, holding their hands and dancing along with them.
Sag apne vo rag kitne laya hai
Aaya re hamra mitva
Her laughing eyes met his joyful ones and at the moment for both of them, the past seized to exist. They were just Ashutosh and Nidhi. Two people crazily in love with each other, surrounded by children who loved them like family. In that festive mood, no one noticed the car that had come to a smooth halt in front of the orphanage and the person getting down from it.
Ham jhum jhum gaye
Nache re hamra manva
Ham jhum jhum gaye
Dhol bajne laga gav sajne laga
Koi laut ke aaya hai
Ashutosh clapped some more and with a huge grin adorning his face, made his way to one of the chairs to sit and better enjoy the show. He didn't notice the person walking towards the chairs or the pair of searching eyes that landed and stayed on him. One of the staff brought him a glass of juice; he took it with a thank you. His eyes were still locked on to the girl who was now dancing in the middle of the children with her dark violet skirt twirling around her and hair rumbled with a few strands sticking to her cheeks. His vision suddenly turned black as a palm came in front of his eyeglasses. With a startled frown, he caught the hand, removed it and turned back towards the person all in one smooth move.
"Surprise!"
"Mallika you? Here?"
Mallika grinned and shrugged and moved forward to give him a small hug before drawing back to look at his face. "I landed this morning and went to your house. Kaka said you were at the orphanage so..here I am!"
Ashutosh nodded distractedly as he stepped back and turned towards the group of dancers. All the children were there. But Nidhi! There was no Nidhi. Where was she? Where did she go? His eyes searched frantically. But no. No Nidhi. She wasn't there anywhere in the vicinity. Where did she go? Nidhi!
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