Originally posted by charminggenie
@Nice topic , Zorrro.
Thanks CG 😊
I feel love is a very selfish thing. Intentionally or unintentionally we do develop expectations from our relationships and associations. Same goes for parenting.
Expectations are the norm then. Children expect a lot from their parents and take it for granted. Spouses expect a lot too. Parents cannot be the exception.
So to say a parent shouldn't expect or treat the child as an investment is not possible. Yes it is unfair to force the expectations or suffocate the kids with an overdose of their impressions and influence. And its not just parents who have expectations but the children also have their own set of demands for their parents. The problem comes when we take these expectations for granted and build our hopes and future on them without having a back-up or "what if" cover.
You mean always have a back up plan up your sleeve 😛 Agreed.
True primarily till the legal age, it is the duty of the parents to provide a holistic upbringing to children. Considering, home is the first place which influences and shapes the initial behavior , it is essential that Parents are pro-active and have a constant evolving communication with teens, in particular.
So to a certain degree the blame or responsibility for the errs of teens, even judicial in nature, do go to the Parents. This care shouldn't be looked as some investment. It is a duty and a responsibility which the parents signed for when they decided to bring a life together.
The problem is with the kind of social set-up especially in Asia, it is all but natural for parents to expect the same love , care and constant support from their children at the later part of their lives. What they fail to see is that some kids/teens might not share the same sentiments, this is because they see these expectations as more voluntary in nature , unlike Parents who have more of compulsory duty towards the teens in the growing years.
Parents in Asia take care of their kids for a much longer time than the Europeans where they children are pressured to bnecome independent much earlier and fend for themselves. The emotional investment and involvement is lesser.
Do children owe it to their parents to take care of them in their time of need?
Respect, love and understanding is what children truly owe to their parents - on these there shouldn't be any compromise. Care is a very subjective word which both parents and kids need to arrive at a common point.
We cant have something on the lines of pre nups can we 😆
If yes, are only sons to be expected to care for them or should daughters too pitch in?
Umm care for parents should not even be measured on the gender scale. Girls and boys should have an equal sense of every emotion that they share with their parents including love and care. Including the Parental responsibility.
Priority of her inlaws in her life can make things difficult for a daughter at times.
If the daughters want to pitch in would social norms get in the way? How fair is that?
Unfortunately, society do influence parenting and sets norms for some of the "care". But if a Girl feels equally responsible and considers it her duty to be with her family and care for them in whatever way she deems fit, then I doubt society can have much say. We are constantly evolving and it just might set a good healthy precedent for future.
Society always has a say in everything that anyone does. I think people need to draw a line to how much they would succumb to social pressure.
Personally,I don't see caring for family as a duty or something that I owe . Nope, rather I seem them as part of me , so I might just become even more overtly overbearing with all the love, care and the shenanigans.
Many children especially in India are naturally loving towards their parents. Trouble somehow starts after getting married.