Duty towards parents: Yes or No? - Page 3

Page

Frequent Posters

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

I don't know how it works in India but in most countries the welfare system supports teen moms, orphaned/abandoned children, teenage delinquents etc. The welfare system is in turn funded by tax dollars of responsible tax paying citizens. Sometimes it is a vicious cycle of bad parenting begetting bad parenting. I don't like the idea of my hard earned money funding irresponsible losers. Either take care of your offspring and all their issues or don't have one. Do not burden the system with your incompetency.

Does the welfare system teach good parenting to those it suports or is it unleashing them into society to cause more damage?

If the child is an adult then the parents don't need to bother. But as long as the child is the parents responsibility, I think parents ought to deal with it. Don't want to deal with pregnancy, get an abortion - teenagers shouldnt be moms anyway.

Some children are born to be dificult. Otherwise we would not have black sheeps in a family. Not all siblings respond equally to their parents upbringing. Say the parents somehow coerced the teenager not to get pregnant a day before 18. Once she is 18 should they be relieved that they can now legally abandon her in the name of adulthood? Would she have miraculously attained wisdom having attained that magical age?

I accept that parents have a duty to care for their children but sometimes the children are simply rotten. A pre natal test might reveal the risk but such timely facility and cure or timely abortion may not be available due to say religious reasons of all. Who is responsible in such cases if not the society?

If tax payers want to save their money they should be fighting against all such causes than putting the full blame on the parents who in any case are doing a thankless job of rearing such children

Quote

DonnaHarvey

@DonnaHarvey

IF-Sizzlerz

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

I live in the land of socialized healthcare and even here there is a certain amount of stigma attached with leaving your parent to fend for herself (the government pays some of the cost in long term healthcare but we will get to that later).

My point is, collectivist societies (like India) expect adult children to care for their parents. That is the whole point of a family/community centric life.

I don't know about India proper but atleast in the Diaspora, sons and daughters share the responsibility for delivery of care equally (often times, daughters more than sons). And it is not for free the elder has often selflessly given their time to the daughter/son's kids' daycare. That is a lot of money saved and it adds up quick. Plus, the parents have raised you for eighteen years so you owe it to them to spend within your means on their golden years medical care.

The only expections are when the parent was shitty (you likely do not want to see that person again) or you do not have the money (you are likely guilt ridden anyway).

/end.

Edited by DonnaHarvey - 9 years ago

Quote

bhaironnath

@bhaironnath

Goldie

Posted: 9 years ago

Just as parents take care of children when they are unable to fend for themselves, it becomes the moral oligation of children to reciprocate when the parents are old and infirm, not to leave them in the lurch. And by help, i do not mean just financial. Most parents have led a busy life and on the eve of the existence quite often feel bored with no company. In such times if they are involved in their childrens and grand childrens life , it makes them happy as time is spent.

Most problems arise only because of MIL and DIL issues. Two ladies who are unrelated find it hard to adjust. If the society changes rules and allows daughters to take care , all this would be solved, because no matter what the mom and daughter fight,the relationship is never affected.

Quote

Angel-likeDevil

@Angel-likeDevil

IF-Stunnerz

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

I may sound harsh but, this is an ugly world, and I'd say :

Parents shouldnt expect things from children... if an adult child isnt showing gratitude, there's really nothing one can do about it. It hurts, but, it's life... better to leave the child alone, and live pleasantly, for the last few years of your life, whilst maintaining a pleasant plain relation with the child. It's hard, as one's death nears them, they yearn child's care, time, etc... I dont want to go into the verbal , mental abuse meted out to elders by the 'adult' child and his/her family.

Talking about children, it is beyond me, how any child can ignore their aging parents. just the thought that amma or papa might get fever should be enough to make you want to keep them close to you, always, under your vigil... but the world is strange. People complicate their lives, whilst they could've made it a beautiful communion with old beloved by your side.. Frankly speaking, a child should feel like making his parents happier each day, smother them with love...as they're nearing death!

Old people are beautiful. Just sitting there, listening to their bantering will make them fulfilled.. They dont need anything more. (from what I have seen)

PS -- Son or daughter, it doesnt make any difference, parents brought up both of them, so what's taking care anything to do with 'son's responsibility' ??

Quote

1 2 3