"Are you alright Khushi?" Payal has noticed her being absentminded. Khushi has not spoken even a single word since she had entered the park. She continued to look ahead with unseeing eyes. Payal had to shake her to bring her out of this stupor. Even then she gazed at Payal with confused eyes.
"Had something happened? What is so important that had your mind diverted from this?" Payal narrowed her eyes, looking at her scrutinising eyes. She has seen this look on her face. It was long time ago.
"I think Arnav is suspicious now. He had sensed that something is going here." Khushi spoke at last.
"But...but...how?" Shocked payal spoke the question first question that came into her mind.
"Me! With my mind and heart filled with so much of anger, disappointment and fear, I pounced on him as soon as we got inside his room. I asked him if he had discussed our marriage terms." Payal looked at her wide eyes, disbelief etched on every inch of her face.
"He accepted and it was the breaking point of my control. I snapped and spoke of what would happen if this goes out in open. He tried to reassure me but I broke in his arms." Khushi flinched saying that.
Khushi closed her eyes and shook her head to block what had happened after that between them.
"What?" Payal spoke watching her shaking her head.
Scrunching her more, Khushi just shook her head. "Nothing."
This had Payal worried. Khushi never keep anything from her. If now she has, Payal has no idea what it could be.
"Khushi!" Payal made her turn to look at her face, which she's been trying to hide from her today. "You are scaring me. Please tell me what happened? He did something?" Khushi's silence made Payal more apprehensive. "Khushi! He did what?!"
"He kissed me!" Khushi shouted. With pursed lips, she continued. "He kissed me and you know what was the worst part?" She questioned Payal. "I kissed him back. I was so vulnerable at that moment...that I ...I fogot my own laid conditions in this marriage and broke my own rules. I kissed him, Payal! How could I ?" Her head dropped in her hands.
Payal clearly remembers the time Khushi has spoken the same words. That day also she was cursing herself again and again. Asking Payal and herself that how could she have done that?
November 18, 1994
As per the ritual, Payal came to visit Khushi at her home after their college. They would chat, talk about their dreams. They would make fun of their teachers, would repeat their pet dialogue, mimicking them and would laugh their heart out.
On a busy day, they both would complete their assignments and projects together. They have always been together. They had the done schooling together and had taken the admission in the same college, opted same course.
They were sisters. Everyone used to say this about them and they knew that in their hearts they both have accepted each other as sisters.
Payal entered inside Khushi's room and knew that something was wrong with her. She was gazing outside the window, watching as the sun dips down the horizon, marking the beginning of the night.
Payal took few steps in her direction and stood behind her. Khushi still was not aware of her presence. Payal placed her hand on her shoulder, "Khushi?"
Khushi jumped a slightly and turned revealing her moist eyes.
"Khushi?" Payal clapsed her shoulder. "Hey, why are you crying?"
Khushi lifted her wet lashes to look at Payal and said, "He is not what I thought, Payal!"
"What?" Payal looked at her in confusion.
"How could I be so foolish, Payal? I have always took pride myself in being a practical girl. I have always been proud of myself of they way I had never took interest in typical girl things." Khushi looked distraught and disgusted with herself. "Payal, I have always said that girls are foolish to engage in these things. Then, how? How could I do this? How could I? She whispered to herself, looking down at the floor.
"How could you what, Khushi?" Payal shouted, angry to witness such a strong girl so weak and unsure of herself.
"How could I fall in love with him? How could I, Payal?"
That has been tormenting Khushi till this day. She had taken a lot time to recover from that. And still that thing has not left from her life. Even now she's fighting every second of her life.
Payal would not let her go through that again. Khushi should not be so difficult with herself. She just kissed him back! So what? He kissed her first! She would never let this affect her.
"Khushi..." Payal knew what she is going say is completely against khushi's moral. But she need to understand that sometimes you just can't control things and blame it on yourself. They just happens and you can't do anything to stop even if you want to. "Just don't over think about what happened. You just kissed him back!"
Khushi looked at with wide eyes, " Just kissed him back, Payal? Just?"
"First listen to me. I know you and I know for a fact you would never in right mind would kiss Arnav. But you should see how were you when this happened. You were vulnerable. With all these things happening anyone would be stressed and weak. And you've this on you shoulder for years." Khushi looked like she's thinking through Payal's word. " Khushi, I don't want to see you like you were before. Seeing you today I knew that this has affected you a lot. Just don't let get you anymore than it already has. And the most important part. You are his wife. You are living together. It was bound to happen someday."
"He is my husband Payal but in papers, not in real life."
"What real life? You took seven phere with him. So what if you laid some conditions before marrying, might I add with all the rituals, he is your husband. How long are you planning to live together like this? Payal asked.
"As long as one of us demand divorce." Khushi replied.
"I don't think that is ever going to happen. At least not from Arnav's side. I haven't met him. But the things you have told me, I don't think he would want to to divorce you. On the contrary, he would want to make this marriage, a real one, in your words."
"Are you even listening what are you saying now? You want me to make a life with him? He is playboy! I only married him because I really had no choice!"
"I don't know Khushi. I have a feeling that he will no longer be a playboy."
Khushi just scoffed at that. "I have let myself feel once. Till today I am paying for it. I not going to let it happen once again."
****
"Khushi.." Arnav spoke as soon as he entered the room. He was looking very tired. His jacket was hanging on his right forearm while the left had his laptop bag. Waiscoat buttons were open and his shirt was also half untucked. His hair looked like he had ran his fingers through them numerous times.
Khushi handed him glass of water and watched as he emptied it in two gulps. "You want more?" She asked while filling the glass again, but he shook his head and sat on the bed massaging his forehead lightly with his fingers.
"You are very tired today." She sat next to him. "Work was more? She asked.
Arnav looked up at her in surprise. She has never asked him about his work. And if he was not blind or hallucinating like he had been doing today in office, she was concerned looking at his state.
Arnav sighed. This is getting out of control. "Yeah, I just finalised the deal with the Kapoors, today. I have been working on it from months. Even before our marriage. They had even came on our marriage."
She squeezed the hand which was on his thigh." Congratulations, Arnav." She smiled at him. The first genuine smile at him. Arnav found all his tiredness gone. He had never felt so good about his achivements like he is feeling now.
"Khushi...I need to tell you something." He let out a sigh. "The Kapoors, they are throwing party tomorrow for the finalisation of the deal and as well on our marriage. So you have to come with me to the party."
Khushi opened her mout to say, but Arnav didn't let her. "I asked them not to do this but they insisted."
"I was going to say that I'll go with you, Arnav." Khushi said laughing at his shocked face.
****
Arnav sat on the couch, talking with his father. In between, he teased Anjali, asking her to go and sleep after completing her homework.
Anjali spitted fire through her eyes. "I would have beaten you up this instant, bhai. But I don't want to upset bhabhi. Just be thankful of her that I am not pulling your out of your head for the thing you just said. I don't want you look like a uncle and let people think that bhabhi have married a old man."
Arvind laughed and patted his daughters back." Good going beta. Don't let your brother bother you. I am proud of you."
"Thanks dad!" Anjali engulfed her father in a bear hug and stuck her tongue out at Arnav.
Arnav rolled his eyes. "You always take her side, dad!"
"And your mother always take your side. Her ladla beta!" Arvind kissed anjali's forehead before breaking the hug.
Arnav smiled at his father. " Oh just admit, Dad! You are jealous! I got mom's attention more than you so take revenge by siding this fat hippopotamus--"
Anjali whistled loudly, starling Arnav and he stopped what ever he was saying. He turned to where she was looking and his breath stuck in his throat as soon as his eyes laid on her.
Anjali let out another whistle, a longer one, as Khushi walked downstairs. She shook her head at Anjali's antics."You are looking gorgeous Bhabhi!"
Breathtaking...
His heart whispered inside as it doubled its pace. Arnav let his eyes roam all over her frame. He has never seen her wearing this type of clothes. He has always thought her to be very traditional. Always in salwar suits. She never wore jeans or tee-shirts. Nothing western, when there were no such restriction in our house. She can wear whatever she want.
He stood up as she came to near the where he was sitting. They are going to the party. He was waiting downstairs for her while she got ready in their room. He had thought that she would wear saree but never in his lifetime could he guessed it. She was wearing a black one piece, that just ended above her knees. He noticed she wore black high heels. She never wore anything other than flats. He felt something inside his chest looking at her neck.
She might have wearing a western dress but she didn't forget to wear mangalsutra. At one glance it looked like a necklace, when it was actually mangalsutra. She even had slight the vermilliom in her parting, just a slight strike of it. While she was in western dress, she still had all the things which bound her to him.
"Anjali! You are mad!" She laughed while Anjali continued praising her beauty.
"Anjali is right, beta. You are looking stunning." His father was next to praise her.
"Thank you, Papa." Khushi walked forward to take blessing of his father. As she bowed down to touch his father's feet, her hairs dropped to one side.
The breath he had apparently been holding, left in a rush. The view of her back that was hidden till now by her hairs was in his sight with any obstacle. While her back was not exposed, it was not fully covered either. Her dress was laced at the back, cloth was only for the zipper.
She turned toward me, and said, "Let's go."
Anjali winked at Arnav when he walked passed her. He smacked her on her head.
****
Arnav opened her side of the door, held his hand out to her. Helping her to get of the car, he waited until she wound her hand around his arm.
"Just let me know when you are to leave from here, okay?" He whispered to her before they step inside the hotel, where party was being held.
The murmurs and the sound people talking to one another stopped as they entered. Arnav felt her grip on his arm tightened. He knew she doesn't like too much attention and being his wife she just got this most.
"Relax..." Arnav squeezed her hand resting on his arm.
Mr. Kapoor spotted them and came to greet them with his wife, who smiled at as she looked at them. "Arnav..." He shook hands with Arnav and turned to look at Khushi, "Mrs. Raizada, nice meeting you."
"Same here Mr. Kapoor."
" You are very lucky, Arnav. You've got the most beautiful girl as your wife. " Mr. Kapoor thumped on his back, laughing.
"Congratulations, once again on your wedding Arnav and Khushi, I hope you don't mind calling me that?" He asked Khushi.
"No, of course not." Khushi smiled at him.
"I'll just meet everybody else Mr. Kapoor." Arnav said.
"Yeah, go on Arnav. Enjoy the party.. Both of you."
Arnav met all everybody he knew. He had placed his hand on the small of her back, all the time he was talking to people. She didn't seem to mind it. Arnav didn't know if she was pretending just to show their marriage is a real one. Whatever it was, he liked the feel of her. He like being around her. What he liked the most was how everyone greeted her saying Mrs raizada. She was his wife, everybody knew it and he liked his surname being attached to her.
Khushi squeezed his arm before she whispered his name. He stopped talking with his manager and turned all his attention towards her. "I'll just come back, okay?"
"Where are you going? What happened?" He immediately got concerned.
"I need to use restroom." Khushi whispered.
"Uh..okay." He reluctantly removed his hand from her back.
"I'll be back in a minute. " She said and did something that he never imagined her to. She came closer to him and brushed her lips slightly on his cheek before she left.
His eyes got closed and he stood still absorbing the feel of her lips and how it affected him. He know that something is happening to him. He is feeling thing which he never felt before.
****
Khushi was facing the mirror. She wanted get away from there for second. This has been so overwhelming. She never had to be under the attention of so many people. She took deep breath and turned to head out but stopped short as the door opened and she entered. Khushi clenched her fists looking at her smiiling face.
"Hello, its been long since we met. How are you?" She looked down top to bottom and her eyebrows raised. "Seems like being Mrs. Raizada is finally getting to you. Nice change."
Khushi tried to move around her bit she blocked her way. "Get the f**k out of my way Lavanya!" She hissed.
Lavanya side stepped her, saying, " Of course, after all you are my bosses's wife. The boss I used to f**k even before you met him. Arranged marriage with Arnav Singh Raizada? You just got yourself landed in another problem while you were trying to get away from one. Tch, Tch, Tch..." She shook her head looking at her in disappointment. "I thought you were smarter than this."
"You just don't know what I really am lavanya. And when you would get to know...it would be very late for you. " Khushi took a threating step towards her.
"Woah! You got some guts, don't you? I am waiting to see what you really are Khushi."
"You will very soon lavanya. Very soon." Khushi opened the door and heard her say, " He asked me to tell you he misses you." Slammed the door close as hard as she could, Khushi took deal breaths to calm herself down.
She looked up and met Payal's eyes across the throng of people. She was on the sides, executing our plan. They knew lavanya will be here and they want her to be here as long as they can get her. They need information on her. Something. Anything. And Payal was keeping eye on her while someone was searching her house.
Payal shook her head, telling her to not let her affect her so much, then mouthed, 'Arnav'. Khushi turned and saw him roaming his eyes around surely looking for her.
Arnav swept his eyes around. Even though not much time has passed since she left, but he was worried. She didn't know anyone here.
"Arnav, don't mind me saying this..."Mrs. Kapoor spoke, putting a stop to his search.
"What it is?"
"I am happy for you."She smiled at him, " I never thought that you would marry and even if you would, I doubted it would be anything like this. You very well know what kind of marriages happens in our society. They just marry for status. But looking at you now, anyone can tell that you are in love with her."
Love???
"Yes, Arnav. It is very nice to look at you both. You look very good together." Mr. Kapoor said.
"Thank you." Arnav didn't know, what to say. He loves Khushi? Anyone could tell it? But how can he...?
"Khushi and Arnav, you owe us a dance." Mr kapoor said as Khushi joined Arnav.
Arnav looked at Khushi and found her smiling stiffly at Kapoors. Silently, Arnav held out his palm to her. She placed her small her on top of his. Arnav led her to the dance floor, where currently soft music was playing.
Arnav placed her hand on his shoulder, while her left hand was in his left one. He placed his right hand on her waist gently. Pulling her closer he swayed her gently to the music. All the time he was staring at her face. Taking the minute details which till now he never had noticed. The more he stared, more he felt something inside his chest. That tightness that forms inside him whenever she's around him.
As Arnav let her go only to pull her in a spin, he noticed that her zipper was slightly open. Pulling her closer in his arms so that she had no choice but put her arms around her neck. Arnav leaned closer to her, ignoring her widened eyes, he whispered," Zipper...don't stand still. Keep on swaying."
Moving his hand from her waist around and up her back, which was effectively hidden from her waist length hair, Arnav slowly pulled up the zipper of her dress and pressed it to safely lock it.
Khushi had her head on his shoulder, pulling her more closer to himself. Arnav tilted his own slightly to hers. They swayed in each others arms for the rest of the song.
****
Khushi literally jumped out of the car and made a dash towards the house. Arnav knew why is she behaving like this. There was something between them today. It felt more powerful than ever. He felt and looking at her running form upstairs, he knew she also felt it.
Arnav stood outside his room for a while, to control whatever was brewing inside him and give time to Khushi also. They can't let this make things between them awkward.
Exhaling loudly, he entered inside and noticed the light coming out of the bathroom. She must be changing. Arnav took of his jacket and sat on the bed, thinking about his messed up mind.
When even after twenty mminutes, Khushi didn't come out, Arnav knocked on the bathroom door and asked what is taking her so long.
"Nothing Arnav..." Came her low voice.
"Khushi, tell me."
Silence.
Arnav though she won't answer.
"My...zi..zipper. Its...stuck."
"Open the door Khushi."
"What?" She shrieked.
"I'll just open it slightly so you can change Khushi. I can't even call Anjali for this. She must be sleeping now." He told her patiently.
The door opened slightly and Arnav entered inside. Khushi stood in front of the mirror and waited for Arnav to help her.
They looked at each other in the mirror as Arnav swiped her hairs to the side. Arnav can't look away from her even if he tried to. In the bathroom's bright lights she was looking so beautiful.
They had never stood so close to each other. It was just today for the party and the day when he kissed her. Arnav kept on sliding the zipper down. When it was not going down more, he looked away from her to see that he had he had zipped down her fully.
His hands, as if have mind of their own, started sliding her dress down her shoulders. With every inch of her skin that got exposed, his breathing got heavy with his heat beating miles in a minute.
He found Khushi with her eyes closed, her chest heaving. He can't seem to control himself. Looking at her like that, his mind was switching of his ability think rationally.
His hands slides down her arm taking her dress with it. Arnav brought his palm up and stopped just below her bra claded breast. Pacing moist kisses all over her shoulder, Arnav met her eyes in the mirror, saw the desire lurking in them.
Her head dropped on his shoulder with a loud exhale of breath. Arnav spun her around, backing her up to the counter, he took her mouth in a real kiss.
As Khushi opened her mouth to breath, Arnav deepened the kiss to taste her.
Her nails dug in his neck, as he kissed her again and again and again. Giving her a small time to breath.
Leaving her lips, his mouth travelled down. He took kissed her breast above her bra. His other hand gently massaging her other breast.
"AArrrnavv...oh...sto--" Sharp intake of breath as he flicked his tongue over nipple before taking it inside his mouth. He sucked gently, making her arch her back and holding and pulling his hair.
Khushi felt her legs give up, she held his shoulders for support. Arnav felt her weak to stand and suddenly lifted her and placed her on the counter, swiped his hand making all the toiletries fall on the floor. He parted her legs and stood in between them. He again took her lips in a gentle kiss.
Breaking it up, Arnav waited her to come out of the haze. He knew now he feel for her. He damn well knew what he did just now was wrong. For her, not for him. He feel for her, whatever that is, love or something else, but he had acted on his feelings for her. Khushi has responded to his touch, to his kiss, but she would never admit feeling something for him. Just because that damn conditions on which they married each other.
He is not Arnav Singh Raizada if failed to make her admit that she also feels something for him.
Khushi pushed at his chest and got down from the counter. " f**k you Raizada! How dare you do this to me? f**k other girls! I am not going to stand here and let you kiss me whenever you want. Take out your desires on other girls, like you had till now."
"Why do you respond to me? Why the f**k you respond to each and every kiss I give you." Arnav shouted.
Khushi fixed her dress and made her way towards the door, "Stay away from me from now."
Arms pulled her back, he stared at her with anger, desire and love." I am have started to have feeling for you Khushi and if I want I would've never touched you for taking out my desires. But what I feel, is for you. Only you."
"What you feel is nothing but lust Arnav."
"What ?" Arnav said actually hurt by her statement. Even though he had slept with different girl and yes only to satisfy his desires. But what he is feeling now is not lust. Not at all. If he knew anything, he knew for sure that it is not lust.
"Its lust, Arnav." Khushi said again.
His grip tightened on her, " No,it's not! I know what I feel for Khushi Singh Raizada! By the way you are responding to me, I damn well know you feel something for me too. Ignore all you want, Khushi. But know this, my feelings for you are not temporary and I won't let yours become one."
"I feel nothing for you!" She spat.
Arnav released her smiling at her. "Yeah, I believe you." He said sarcastically.
"Just stay hell away from me!" Saying that she left the room.
A/N : Long update. A peek in khushi's p ast. Many are going to come in future updates. Arnav took first step towards acknowledging his brewing feeling for Khushi. Lavanya's meeting with Khushi for the first time.
Now the real story has started. Hope you liked this update. Please share your thoughts with me by commenting.
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