Crisis

"10 seconds- It was all it took to

bring back all the memories of past

10 years that i had decided to bury

deep into the ocean of my thoughts.

Its funny how we run from

something for so long and create

illusion that we are doing well and

how just few seconds are enough to

break that illusion.

It all goes back to my college days.

Like most of other dudes and chicks

of my age i was a couple. It was the

time when i believed i could do

anything. Life was going pretty

smoothly. Its sweet that when you

are with the right partner every

problem seems nothing to you. She

was the one. We had decided our

future. We were ready for any and

everything.

Those small glares, thosenaughty things

we did were part of my life. such was our

bond that we never knew what was waiting

ahead for us.

It was the last day of college. All

the emotions were high. everyone's

eyes were moist. I met with all my

friends. Now i went towards her and we

had our moment.

We promised that we will be in

touch and will meet after 1 year.

Then we got separated to other

cities but long distance relationship

was on. And believe it or not it

sucks. Anyways that one year passed

away like swift wind.

Now it was time for me to meet her

and that was the moment i felt

strongly that i love her. I had lots to

say. It was like my feelings were

amplified. All those college years

and all those times we spent

together were revolving around my

mind. I didnt know when i came out

of thoughts but when i came she

was still not there to meet me

where we have decided. I waited

but she was no where. I got

concerned and called her but that

was when i had mini heart attack

when it said that cell no i have

dialled is out of service.

I knew something was not right. I

waited there whole time but she

didnt come. She never contacted

me.

All those sweet moments now felt

like needles kissing my heart. All

feelings were covered under the

anger now. Thats when i decided i

will never remember her.

But destiny had other plans i guess

After 10 years i saw her today and i

came to know instantly that how

illusional i was. All those feelings

were now resurfaced.

10 secs was

what it all took. I had lots of

questions in my mind. There was lot

of anger. I went towards her but

I was scared that she might listen

my heartbeat. My heart was

pounding like a time bomb. I put

my hand on her arm. She turned

gazed and got freezed.

But before i could say anything all

that anger just vanished somewhere

after seeing her smile and tears. But

wait something was not right with

her. And thats when i got the whole

story and shock of my life.

She told me that The day she was coming to meet me

shehad an accident and lost her left

leg. She thought i would not accept

her or maybe i didn't deserve a

handicapped and that's why she

didn't contact ever. It was big

because it meant she loved me and

still do. Such a fool. I was

handicapped by being away from

her and it would never have

mattered to me. I told her

everything and told her that even if

her body would have paralyzed i

would still love her till her last

breath.

I got lucky. I dont know how. But i

should have tried more to contact.

Who knows if i hadn't let my ego

come between I

Would have not lost 10 years.

So i learnt that if something is

worth keeping we should never give

up.

But i didn't tell her one big thing

because i couldn't hurt her. How

could i after seeing her after so

many years in such situation. I dont know

maybe God got angry or what but i

got diagnozed with cancer couple of months before.

But i would keep her happy for as

long as i am alive. I promise to

myself.

And that's when i realised no matter

how much we plan everything

happens as it is planned by God.

But i would like her to be happy

when i sm not thrre. I want her to

get whatever she wants if she is

reading my diary as these could be

my last words i dont know "

Tears rolled down the cheeks of the

girl when she read ther diary of her

lover. But she wiped it off. As she

wanted to fulfill his last wishes i.e.

to be happy.

Such was the crisis that Ego and circumstances never allowed

them to be together.

ANd the guy always kept wondering:

Hopefully this wont last, 

Hopefully I'll understand the past, 
Maybe some day I'll see, 
What you wanted me to be. 

For a moment I had her, 
But now there's the world to fear, 
It's gonna be so hard, 

I just need to play the right card. 
Or maybe I should quit chasing stars, 

And focus more on my sports cars. 
I have my own life you know, 
And it really isnt low. 

Today may be over, 
but my tomorrow 
will never come. 

love gained, 
love lost, 

but either way it ends in pain. 

this clock keeps ticking, 

moving time 
forward, 

while these chains hold me 
captive. 

creeping toward this corner, 

leaving behind my thoughts, 

I sit and 
stair at these locks. 

missing all I had 
with nothin to gain, 

there's really 
nothing I can do but play the game. 

Hopefully this wont last, 
Hopefully i will understand the past..