Lag Ja Gale Ki Phir Ye Hasin Raat Ho Na Ho
Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho
Lag Jaa Gale ...
Another tissue was taken out by her delicate hands from the tissue box before it came to her soft velvet face and wiped her tears stained face. Her heart was bleeding.
"How can you do this to me Ashutosh..? How can you...?" She mumbled, cried and sunk back into the soft plush sofa in her room.
Their old happy memories ran in her hazy mind...His teasing glances that used to burn her soul...His smirk that would increase her heart beat...The way his fingers used to walk up on her body making it tingle at places she never knew were so sensitive.
She wanted him. Her life would be so bleak, so lifeless without him.
His Ashutosh.
Was their love so weak? Was their friendship so weak? Was their marriage was not in the strong foundation of love and trust that just a blow of air was shaking it from the grounds
She didn't even remember when their was a day she had lived without his existence in her life. For the day she was born, he was their to hold her, look after her, care her and protect her so why he isn't protecting her now. Why he was making her go through the extreme pain that seems to make her suffocated.
She remember how her father told her a story of them on the night of their engagement,
Flashback**
After a successful engagement party, the guests had left congratulating the new couple and their families. Ashutosh parents, his two sisters Rashi and Rania along with Nidhi and her parents sat down on a round table of the huge party hall which was now vacant except for the waiters who were busy in cleaning and collecting the things.
"I am so glad everything went fine" Ashutosh's mother Kumud said with a tired sigh but that beautiful smile of hers that was their on seeing his grown up son ready to step.into another phase of his life, never slipped.
"G Bhabhi g" Prerna, Nidhi's mother said and patted her daughter who was looking as exceptional wearing the light gold net lehnga having small delicate work all over.
"But Bhabhi g...I am more happy to see that finally our children found their way to each other..." Now Ashutosh's father said with a happy glint in his eyes that he finally was bind with his friend in a relation.
"No Alok...I knew it from the first day that they will always get together...Remember when Nidhi was born?" Yograj said making Alok remember the day.
"Of course I do... Can never forget it" Alok said with a happy smile.
"What happened Papa...Chote Papa?" Rania chimed in with excitement looking at his father and Uncle whom she had always called Chote Papa.
"Oh you know...Nidhi was born and the nurse took her to clean up...The doctors came out tell me that I have a baby girl and that your aunty had to be given some medicines that I need to buy urgently from pharmacy...so I went off" Yograj said with a wistful smile on his face remembering the 2nd most important day of his life.
"Now let me tell..." Nidhi's Bare Papa, Alok spoke up. "Remember you went out...I.knew the details more better of that time" All giggled at his line.
"So back then, Yograj had move to Mumbai from Jaipur just a year back and I was his only friend in this city as we really were really close...Me and your Mama were sitting outside with a 4 year old Ashutosh. Yograj was still away when the Nurse came out with Nidhi but before we could even move, Ashutosh was ahead of us and tugging the nurse skirt to get her attention" All gave a hearty laugh as Ashutosh looked at a smiling Nidhi while scratching his temple with that ever so teasing smile, that made Nidhi blush.
"Then Papa?" Now Rashi quipped in.
"Oh then the Nurse asked him if you need anything and all he did was just pointed his finger at her and said 'Baby'"
"Oh my baby" He mouthed making sure no on saw it, making her narrow her eyes. Then he used to say it just in a different context as of now and he winked.
"The nurse bend and made him see Nidhi...I cant explain how fascinated he seemed as he touched her nose, her cheeks...and said "Papa see...Small baby" in his childish tone"
A lot of Awws were said by his sisters that earned them a good glare.
"And that was how Yograj had found them"
"Ashutosh was actually the first one from the family to see her...He was always so protective about her...I was actually more relieved that their is someone whom she can count even if I am not their and now with this alliance...I am so carefree as I know..." Yograj's voice got thick with emotion. "I know my daughter is in safe hands...that Ashutosh will keep her happy all through his life" Ashutosh get hold of Yograj's hand and patted it, making a silent promise.
"I will..." A promise was made by his hands and words to her father while a promise was made by his eyes, which were fixed on her
Flashback Ends**
Getting up, she ran desperate hands from her hairs to her face, pacing in the small room of hers at her parents place. The thick curtains were barely allowing the evening sun rays to let through them but whatever pushed passed them were providing the utterly dark room some light, enough for her to figure out the placement of things.
But like earlier, their was no one to scold her
"Nidhi...why you always forget to pull off the curtains...Let the bright sun fill some light in this darkness" Her mother always used to scold her in the morning but partially being a darkness lover and partially as she liked to hear her mother's wart, she used to do the same thing.
But again, she was not their now to scold her, to hug her, love her, tell her that everything will be alright. All she need to do is give sometime. She doesn't had that protective hand of her father over her head who always used to make her tension free, perfectly knowing that he will make things right for her. They had died in a terrible car accident just an year back.
Lost in her thoughts, she missed a step and fall on the two seater.
Her eyes lifted up and fall on the silver framed handsome face of his. She had clicked that face in the eye of her lens while they were on their honeymoon.
Rising up, she took hold of the frame and traced his face with the soft touch of her fingers before kissing it.
"I don't know where I went wrong Ashutosh...But I have loved you...always you...all through our school time, college time...How can you ever think..." And the words refuse to come out from her mouth before a soft cry escaped.
But then, determination took its place in her eyes as she looked back at the picture before wiping her face with the back of her hands.
"But if breaking this relationship is your decision...If you are already firm on it...If divorce is the only end...then you have to think again..." She placed the picture back at its place and went up the closet and took out things to get ready to atleast have this night the way she want it, before the world legally make them get apart.
The Divorce tomorrow will happen over her dead body.
Part 2
Humko Millin Hain Aj
Ye Ghariyan Naseeb Sr
Ji Bhar Ke Dekh Lijiye Ham Ko Karib Se
"Nidhi Weds Ashutosh" The 56" inch LED screen displayed the text
before the title of the wedding movie started with her every so beautiful
pictures from the photoshoot titling her as the bride following by him, titled
as groom.
His breath hitched as he take in the beauty of her once again in the same way
as on the day they got married.
She was looking so ethereal in that magenda red and dark blue lehnga having
small gold work with beads. Her smile, her eyes, her heart...Like always were
full of love for him. Her cheeks were filled were blush of shyness.
He clutched the tv remote from the side table and raised up the volume which
was muted before, perfectly knowing which song would have been playing at the
background. Not for the reason that he had already seen the movie more than a
hundred times but thanks to his perfect memory that was still intact, he
remembers the way she had fought with him for it.
Flashback**
"No Ashutosh...The title track will be 'Baba ki Rani hoon' Ok"
She argued back while looking down at Ashutosh who was sitting on the chair.
Her hands were gripping her slender waist over his fav green colored sari with
a purple blouse, she was wearing.
He just got home when he had the call from their wedding video maker who
requested them to come over to the studio, look into editing work and suggest
the songs for the title.
Ashutosh smiled at seeing her ever so cute flaring nose while his hands move
forward to pulled her in an embrace from her waist and made her sit on his lap.
"But I heard that the new song 'Tum hi ho' is quiet in to be set at
the title" He teased, perfectly knowing he will have to give in at the
end.
"No means No ...if you so want it than we can have it anywhere in the
movie but 'Baba ki Rani hoon' should be our title track. You know from
the time I have seen Richa di's wedding movie where she had this song as the
title... All her childhood pictures were included in the title along with
her parents, her sister and us...I had decided right on the day that my wedding
movie will have the same kind of title"
The wishful smile on her face was hard to ignore. He caught her hand slowly in
his and started to play with her bangles absent mindedly.
"But what about me...I too should have a say" He said with a sweet
fake pout.
Nidhi smile and bent forward to kiss his cheek, making him feel burn with
desire.
"All my childhood pics have you in them...so their is no way that you will
feel ignored" He smiled.
"And you know...I have actually decided upon on the song too when I am
entering in this house of ours too" Her finger tip moved up to trace the
jaw line of his clean shaved faced, making him groan.
"Which one?" His lips asked while his mind and heart were filled with
the sensations, she was filling him with.
"Hmmm..." She moved closure holding an emotion so deep in her eyes
and placed sweet small kisses on his face before started humming in her husky
tone
"Sajan Ghar Ana Tha
Sajan Ghar Aye Hum
Piya Mann Bhana Tha
Piya Mann Bhaye Hum
Har Khushi Hai Abh Tumhari
Mujhe Dedo Gham
Jan-e-Mann...Jan-e..."
She was cut off in between as his one hand reached up in her hairs and pulled
her down for a hungry kiss. The other hand was dig in the soft flesh of her
waist, keeping her in place.
The mating of lips turned from hungry to soft before he pulled apart, leaving
her gasping for air.
"Now that's a perfect song..." He said and got up holding her
strongly into his arms. "But you still need to convince me on the first
one..." The naughty glint in his eyes was hard to miss as she moved up her
hands and threw her arms leisurely around his neck.
"Hmmm...And how can I convince you?" She asked though perfectly
knowing the answer.
"I have my ways" His voice was sexily low and husky. And then his
smirk and one look of his eyes from her to the bed before they turned back to
her, was enough to confirm. She blushed and hid her face in his neck as he
stepped forward.
Flashback ends**
He didn't even acknowledge the tears, that were running out from his eyes while
they were struck on the tv screen. Their picture from the childhood were
flashing in the front.
Nidhi's whole childhood pictures with her parents, with his parents and sisters
and most importantly, with him were displayed in perfect ascending order.
She being a 6 month old baby, a soft toy was filled with her saliva was half in
her mouth while he was trying to take it out.
Next, A 10th month old Nidhi trying to learn walking, holding her father's finger
in one hand and his with another.
A 5 year old Nidhi trying to learn how to ride a cycle while Ashutosh was
pushing it from behind.
More pictures from the school time, picnics, functions, weddings that the
families have attended before the last two pictures were displayed. Both were
from their engagement ceremony. One, where the both families were put in one
single frame while Ashutosh and Nidhi were standing in between holding hands
and the last one of an excited Nidhi, hugged by both of her parents.
An that was the last straw that broke him into loud sobs.
-------------------
She parked the car into his house patio and looked up at the starless night. Is
her future too is so blank like this sky tonight? She wondered.
Getting hold of her hand bag, she opened it for once to check the contents
before closing it back and moved out of the car.
Her heels clicked the floor tiles, making a sound in the silence. Stopping, she
took a deep breath before raising her hands up and ringing the bell.
Phir Aap Ke Nasib Men Ye Baat Ho Na Ho
Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho
Lag Jaa Gale ...
Kumud was in the kitchen, filling the jug for the night when she heard the door
bell ringing. Her eyes rose up to the grandfather clock in the living room
which was striking 11pm now.
"Who must be here so late in the night?" She wondered and moved
towards the door only to find a fidgety Nidhi playing with her fingers on the
other side.
"Nidhi beta" Kumud said taking a sigh of relief and pulled her from
her arms into a warm hug.
"Bari Maa" She said into her shoulder, hugging her so tightly.
Kumud's heart dipped, seeing the girl, who was her daughter in law, who was
always just like a daughter to her all through, this torn. She has lost so much
weight in just three weeks before Ashutosh made her leave this house.
"Nidhi...How are you? Where were you? Your Bare Papa and I were so
worried...We went to your parents place but no one answered the rings...We
asked your friends but no one had a clue about you" Kumud lead her to the
sofa while softly rubbing her shoulders in silent support.
How could Nidhi tell her that she was too absorbed in her pain, in his pain,
that she almost haven't heard anything. She had plugged off the land line
phones, switched off her cell phone just to stay alone but she couldnt stop the
divorce papers that were sent by the court and was slide under the close door
by the postman.
Nidhi kept on playing with her fingers avoiding looking at Kumud anymore.
"You will take some water?" But Nidhi shook her head in response and
bit her lip before asking.
"I...I want to meet Ashutosh" She requested in a slow voice.
Being a woman, Kumud totally understood what that meant to Nidhi. It was her
last chance to save the beautiful relationship that was her reason to exists
now.
She patted her hands and said in mere whisper.
"He is in your room...Go meet him..." and I so pray you stop him for
self destruction. She prayed in her mind as Nidhi gave a resigning nod and
moved towards the room, she was once taken in as a bride. And now again, she
will make sure to make it her last resort.
------------------------
Ashutosh's eyes were still rimmed when he heard the soft knock on the room's
door.
"Is mom still up?" He wondered and cleaned his cheeks. The movie was
put to pause, making it still on the beautiful smile on his wife. The door was
locked from inside by him so now. He has to get up and open it.
The knock was again heard, that make him groan but none the less, he flung his
leg down making him wear his slipper while he put forward his hand to grab the
Crutches, which were acting like a 2nd leg in place of his amputated one.
Taking the support, putting his body weight on his one leg and the crutches, he
got up and moved towards the door.
"Coming mom" He said a bit loudly before he reached and open the
door, only to be left stunned
"Nidhi..." He could only mutter her name while his eyes took the fill
of her face.
She could clearly feel his eyes on herself but for now, she avoided to look at
him, fearing, she might loose her confidence. Taking a deep breath, she pushed
pass him into the room, taking in the scene around.
Nothing was changed. All things were still intact as if no one dare touch them.
Even the hair brush, she had last used in her was placed on the same place over
the dressing table, she remembered to last leave it on. Her eyes lifted up to
see the LED only to find an image of herself but their was a difference. The
girl in their was looking forward for her life having beautiful dreams of
tomorrow that she was assured to fulfill with the love of her life but this Nidhi,
here, was having nothing in her hand, no dreams in her eyes as the person she
loved the most has decided to stay rather apart than with her. All she had
right now was to catch the hold of this moment.
The door closed and the silence prevailed between them two gave him chance to
observe her. No doubt, She lost her weight. Her light plum cheeks were now
stick to the bones. Her down-casted eyes has lost their charms and were now
seemed lost. She, who was always so quick on her toes to think what next to say
was now looking so... dead.
And then he heard what he has been silently dying to hear her say, his name.
"Ashutosh..." She said slowly making him get out from his trance. Her
eyes were now looking straight into his, making his heart had a flip but
guarding his posture and tone, he braced himself for a fight. He couldn't let
her get close to himself once again.
"What are you doing here Nidhi...? I thought I have made it clear when you
left this home that I don't want to see you anymore."
No matter, ho much he tried, he couldn't hide the fact that how much he had
missed her. Nidhi felt more confident now of her decision. She knew she had a
upper hand here, at this moment.
"I perfectly remember whatever you said Ashutosh and I hope you remember,
what so ever I had said earlier to you but keeping them aside for now, I have
came here with a preposition that will be in the benefit of both of us"
Her voice didn't hold any challenge or criticism, but it was just soft and
pure, making him think about it for a moment.
"What is it?" He asked, making himself fall in her trap.
"You want this divorce that I surly don't need...but I will free you Ashutosh"
She said this while keeping a piercing stone on her tender heart.
"If?"
She looked into his eyes once again, with the same love, he always seen in
them. Their wasn't a fraction of change in it.
Tenderly, keeping him engaged in her eyes, she moved closer to her and made her
itchy palms find their place on his broad chest. Her tip of the tongue move
slowly on her bare pink lips before she said.
"Make love to me tonight Ashutosh"
And he felt that he has been shook hardly by the mere force of her words.
Part 3
Paas Aaiye Ki Ham Nahin Aaenge Baar-Baar
Baahen Gale Men Daal Ke Ham Ro Le Zaar-Zaar
"N..Nidhi" His world twirled with her statement, making him unstable
on his crutches for the moment. Nidhi, scared, rushed to him quickly, putting her
hands under his armpits for support.
"Are you alright?" She asked out from concern, looking at his pain
filled face.
He nodded in response and let her lead him to the bed till he settled down
comfortably.
"You need something..want something...Water?" Her trembling hands
move towards the half filled glass of water placed on his side table and was
about to move the lid when he held her hand.
God! He missed touching her. Her feel. Her aura.
"Sit down Nidhi..." His tone was beaten. Making her sit beside
himself, he kept on holding her hand, letting his heart get the feel of her
existence. May be for the last time till she is labeled as HIS WIFE.
"Why you are here?" He asked softly this time. She looked at him, his
rugged look face and turned her body towards him.
"I told you" She simply replied.
"But this is..."
"Shhh" She turned his face, making him look at himself. Her thumb
caress his cheeks feeling how bony they were now.
"Don't think too much Ashutosh...I am asking for one night...The last
night...Give me this one Ashutosh...I promise not to demand anything...I
promise to leave you...I promise to sign any damn paper you want me to...Just
in return, Give me this one night" Her pleading tone pained him. Her
distraught eyes were locked in his, assuring him of her determination, asking
him for approval.
He kept mum for a moment.
She didn't even wait for a reply. Getting up she went towards the switch board
and turned the bright yellow lights dim.
"Remember, you always used to love these dim lights whenever you were in
mood of intimacy?" Absentmindedly, she spoke up and turned to him with
twinkling eyes.
Coming to him in slow steps, having that glint in her eyes, she imitated what
he used to do before when he was fine. When he wasn't brutally affected by that
horrible accident.
His mind wander to it before her soft voice stroke his ear drums.
"Look at me Ashutosh" She whispered, commanding him for a change.
Her hands moved up to open the front buttons of her abstract patterned kurta in
slow motion. "Just let your eyes be fixed on me tonight? Let them tell me
how much I was loved all through?" Her voice was extra slow and seductive.
His gaze held hers for a moment before it traveled down to see the visible
little space between her softness.
He gulped his saliva through his dry throat
Is this a way of her to punish him? It was getting unbearable to him. Killing
She was never so Open. She was never the one to initiate something like this.
He could expect kisses, hugs, even long rare passionate kisses but not
seduction.
And then he knew, if he doesn't stop her now, he might not be able to leave her
ever. All his hard work, his pain, her separation will prove futile if he give
in tonight.
"Stop it Nidhi" Groaning, he turned his head to other side, clutching
the sheets below so tightly.
A deep emotion of pain rushed through her eyes before it started to seep in her
heart. Rejection.
"Why is it so hard?" She mumbled with a torn look while closing the
distance between them. "Don't you love me anymore Ashutosh? Don't
you?" And that was enough for him to stop thinking and go on with his
heart who desired her with every Milli-inch.
He pulled her close with a jerk, making her soft body slam with his hard one
while his lips took over her soft petals, leaving no doubt in her mind about
his love.
She kicked her heels away and get on the bed, perfectly knowing how awkward
position it was for him to kiss like that. Sitting on her knees, she deepened
the kiss. Her soft fingers moved up to his thick black hairs while her thumbs
teased his earlobes, making him groan.
Three years of their married life had made her expertly familiar with his push
points.
The crutches fall on the floor beside the bed with a loud thud but none of them
were of anything around else then each other.
Ashutosh's hand caught hold of her petite waist and push her back on the bed
taking the lead. All his body weight was now put on his one knee and hands but
he didn't care. All he cared about was her, in his arms, and his mouth placed
on her's.
He explored her mouth and all the corners, making her gasping for air.
Oh God! How she survived without his kisses in the last three weeks.
He was the one to break the kiss knowing this was the limit of her breath
holding but his lips refused to leave her at all and traveled down on her jaw
line, neck and then up to her ear lobes.
"Ashutosh" She hummed his name as her hands moved on his firm back
till they feel the hem on his shirt and pulled it up to get in contact with his
hard body.
Her fingertips roamed on his abs, ribs and up, making him shudder, making him
realize how good they were and he bend more below to pay homage to the exposed
skin.
Not able to take any more of this torture, she turned around, making him lay
under him and furiously, she took of his shirt and threw it on the floor which
was followed by her own kurta. Wearing his favorite set of dark blue innerwear,
she was looking the same way, he saw her first first time.
Breaking his chain of thoughts, she bend down and demanded a kiss with such
feriosity that brought tears to both of their eyes.
"Tell me you love me Ashutosh" She ordered this time and bit his Adam
apple, making him hiss.
In return, he only pulled her hairs and made her look back at himself.
"I love you Nidhi...Always you...But..." And with the she cut him and
between and made him speechless for any other words that might have came to his
might.
She took all he could give and gave him all of herself till he held her close
and crooned his face in her neck, inhaling her intoxicating smell.
"I love you Nidhi..." And as much as those words pained her, It
pained him too. But he has to let her go. To see that smile, he so loves, he
has to let her go.
"I love you too" She said in a cry tone and held his sweaty body
close, cherishing these beautiful moments of togetherness.
Aankhon Se Phir Ye Pyaar Ki Barasaat Ho Na Ho
Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho
Feeling the slight moment beside himself, he woke up and peeked from under his
lashes. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she pushed her hairs back on her bare
back and gave an audible sigh before bending down to pick up the clothes from
the floor and wearing it quickly. She gave him a last look before she went to
the washroom.
He wanted to stop her, hold her for just another moment but held his hand back,
knowing that after having that one moment, he will crave for another one and
one more.
Hearing the voice of the running water, he turned around on the bed and ran his
hands on his face.
"God...How I will survive without her?" Before, he was making himself
understand that nothing mattered more to him than her happiness and betterment
but right now, after having this night with her, he was afraid, he will go mad
by the loneliness she would left behind.
Sun had just risen up, informing him that it's time for her to leave. He had
fulfilled his side of the preposition, she put forward. Now it was her turn.
The lock turned of the washroom. Faking sleep, he turned to her side, still
looking at the direction of her from under his lashes.
She was looking at him intently, he could feel that. The power was hard to
ignore. He hoped that she would get out and left the room silently as if she
will come to him, his heart would not let her go at all.
But she did nothing. She just kept on gazing at him before he felt her body
having a jerk and heard the small cry in the silence of the room, that got him
alert.
"Nidhi.." He got up quickly but when she didn't answer him, and fell
down on the tiled floor of the washroom, he thought, his heart stopped beating.
Moving towards the edge of the bed, he quickly tried to get up but fell back on
the bed. For the moment, he had completely forget that he doesn't own his one
leg anymore.
"Damn" He cursed but his heart and mind didn't let him ponder over his
inability for now. All he thought was that she needed him.
"Nidhi..." He called again only to hear the silence.
He bend quickly and grab his shorts, put it on through his one leg and next
grabbed the crutch before he moved towards the washroom as quickly as he could
reach.
Blood.
That was the first thing that he noticed and made him came to a halt before his
lungs screamed her name out loud. His heart dipped with fear.
"NIDHI..." Falling down beside her, he looked at her eyes which were
fixed on him, a small smile was lingering on her lips as she looked at his
tormented face.
He took hold of her wrist which was cut and oozing out the blood. The blade was
laid beside her which he knew was taken out from his razor.
"Nidhi...How can you...Nidhi...Open your eyes" He patted her face
quickly, looking for any sign which was looking so pale. His fingers quickly
moved towards her neck to feel her vein which was still throbbing.
"What...wh...?" He mumbled, not knowing what should he do now before
he got up and rushed to the door and called out his parents who owns the next
room to his. Next he called his servants and care-taker who was a well built
man, appointed by his parents who could take care of Ashutosh in their absence.
Bewildered, All came into his room to see him sitting down on the floor along
with Nidhi, tying her arm to stop the flow of the blood in her arm. He was
unable to explain the quick questions of his mother who was too shocked to see Nidhi
like that but thankfully, his father, Rudra took the charge and asked the
servants to keep the car ready while he bent down to hold up Nidhi in his arms
and asking the care-taker to help Ashutosh come out quickly. Kumud grabbed a
shirt for Ashutosh to wear and ran to her room to change.
Lag Ja Gale Ki Phir Ye Hassin Raat Ho Na Ho
Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho
Lag Jaa Gale ...
Sitting outside of the ICU, he held his head in his hands and cried silently.
His heart was throbbing furiously under his skin.
God! Why the hell she did this? How could she do this to him?
"She will be alright Ashutosh..." Kumud put a comforting hand on his
shoulder but instead, that made him feel more burdened.
He knew, his parents were also going through a trauma. He has always seen them
treating Nidhi like they have always treated Rashi and Rania. They love her
even more and consider her their first daughter.
When he had purposed the divorce, they were the first one to go against it and
later even stopped talking to him till one day, he broke down infront of them.
The doctors came out from the ICU and informed.
"That was a close call...If you would have came just 5 minutes late...we
could have lost her or she would have lost her hand for any functionality. But
she is fine...Lost blood no doubt but she will recover..." Ashutosh took a
sigh of relief as Rudra thanked the Doctor and went with him to complete the
procedure.
----------------------------------
It was 5 hours since Nidhi was shifted to a private room. Rudra and Kumud went
into meet her but all she could do was turn her face away and cry, asking them
why they had saved her when her life has nothing to look forward to.
Standing outside on his crutches, Ashutosh heard her each cry, her each claim
and cried silently till he feel a hand on his shoulder.
"Bhai...Mom told me to bring some things for Bhabhi from her apartment but
while finding keys of it from her bag, I found these papers...I...I think you
should read it" She put forward a stack of paper and as Ashutosh held it,
Rashi gave a nod and went in the room to see her Bhabhi.
Ashutosh lead himself to the secluded staircase of the hospital and sit down
before he opened those papers.
First three papers were the Divorce papers that were sent by his lawyer, signed
by him and right now, he could see her signs on them to.
"I will sign any damn paper Ashutosh...Just give me this one night"
She had said and she did it.
A strong pain hit his heart, piercing him.
And then came the next paper, A letter that she had wrote him. Bracing himself,
he started to read it.
"My Dear Husband,
Its weird you know. In all the years we shared, the courtship period, our
married life, I didn't had any opportunity to write you a letter because you
were always their with me but today, even though we are close, I feel we are
miles apart.
You might also be wondering why I am still referring you as My Dear Husband
even after signing these divorce papers but the thing is, that you can't
refrain me to say that till I am alive, till I am taking these breaths and till
these papers are not filled in the court but even then, You willn't be able to
get through it as you can't get divorce from a dead wife.
I have tried Ashutosh. I tried living without you. The last three weeks when
you made me leave our home, I tried. Your words stung my heart but that what
you meant to do when you said that you don't want pity from me. You don't want
me to hover over you as it make you feel suffocated but I know you better Ashutosh.
I have always knew you.
You were blaming yourself for my parents death but believe me Ashutosh, I have
never blamed you. How could I do, when you yourself has lost your part. When I
know that if it must have been in your hands, you would have saved them even if
you have to put your life in danger. If you wouldn't have gone to the airport
that day to receive them, the accident would have happened anyway. It was their
destiny. Your absence wouldn't have make any difference but you know what,
whenever you prayed that it should have been you, dead in place of them, you
have killed me each time. I was torn definitely. They were my parents but that
doesn't mean that I have any blamed you for their death. Instead, I always
believed that they left cause they knew that you will be their to look after
me. You will be their to hold me, lead me in my life. Remember the promise you
have made to Dad.
We have never cared what people used to say about us even when we weren't in
love. When they used to refer us as 'lovers' but we always knew that we were
best of friends. We have never cared when anyone back bite about us then why
you started to care what people used to say about your leg when it never
effected me. Its you who mattered Ashutosh, all through. I have tried to assure
you but I think I failed. I failed miserably and that's why you wants to get
rid of me.
Anyway Ashutosh. Mom always used say when a girl is married, only way to get
out from her husband house is the end of her life. So I am going.
Hope my departure will provide some solace.
I Loved you. I love you and will always.
Yours eternally,
Nidhi Ashutosh Mathur"
And he cried loudly into the silence. Surly her departure was not going provide
any kind of solace to him.
----------------------------------------------------
It was the mid-night. 18 hours till she was brought to the hospital, when he
entered in her room. He hoped she was sleeping so he could have his time to
look at her face, to absorb her in his eyes but against his hopes, she was
awake.
Laying in a ball form wearing the hospital gown. A drip was attached to her
hand while the hand with the slit was bandaged and was placed beside her tear
stained face.
Her hairs were ruffled and soft hiccups were leaving her mouth.
He silently took the place facing her that made her close the eyes.
Putting forward his hand, he pushed her heavy hairs away from face and then
cleaned her tears.
"You willn't even look at me"
"Why you saved me?" She countered his question with a whisper like
tone, still refusing to look at his bated look.
"You scared the hell out of me" He said in an extra soft voice.
"It would have solved all of your problems" Another lone tear traced
her cheek, making him feel remorseful.
"Do you think I would have survived without you?"
"Do you think I would have survived if something would have happened to
you in that accident? You...You ever think how I went through each moment when
you wished to have died with my parents..." Her torn voice made him come
forward and pull her in his arm as much as he could. As much as he was allowed.
Her soft hiccups shook her body while he leave soft kisses in her hairs.
"Shhh Nidhi...Please stop it..." He requested as tears blurred his
vision of her.
She stayed in the warm embrace of him but as acknowledgment of his state come
to her mind, she moved back from him.
Ashutosh was in shock for a moment till she patted the spare space beside
herself.
"Get on the bed Ashutosh...Your leg will hurt" And he knew this time,
it was nor pity, nor concern, it was just her love speaking up.
Pushing the crutch away, he get up on the bed, carefully not to hurt her in
anyway.
Tenderly, he grabbed her injured hand in his and placed a soft kiss.
"You know you could have loose you hand if we wouldn't have been
quick"
In response, she just gave a small chuckle before saying.
"Then we would have been even. You with a lost leg...Me with a lost
hand...We would have been a perfect couple..." He smiled at her way of
words before he started to play with her fingers.
"But we aren't...We aren't perfect" His face was dull with those sad
eyes. She hate to see him like that.
"Do you want me to take this needle out from my system...We could still
retry this trick that can make us perfect" In response, all she saw was
his glaring eyes but deep inside, she could find the love too.
She moved closer to him, letting their bodies touch to the point of no air.
"No one is ever perfect Ashutosh...Even when we were in school, we weren't
perfect...When when we were in college...When we were engaged...Hell when we
were married, we were not perfect...Remember how many mistakes I used to
made...The only perfection in our life was Our Love..." And a sparkle of
hope glint in her eyes that she saw mirroring in his eyes too. His face
softened up hearing her words.
"And our love was Perfect because we both have worked on it...Nothing else
mattered as we both were always so secure in our relationship and nothing can
break this bond of ours till we let someone get in between...Even if they are
just mere words..." He gulped his saliva, trying to make his heart believe
on all those words, she just spoke.
She raised her hand having the needle to caress the side of his face.
"Will you help me to get that perfection once again back in our life Ashutosh..."
She requested and all he could do was come forward and pecking her dry lips, as
if sealing the deal.
"Always Nidhi...I promise..." And she smiled. A genuine smile that he
has witnessed in the last one month.
"Now go to sleep...Tomorrow you will be discharged and allowed to
leave...Mom had gotten all your things back from your apartment without even me
saying a thing...She has told me that next time if we ever have a fight, It
will be me leaving the house" She chuckled against his chest and took a
deep breath, clutching his shirt in a tight grasp.
"You willn't leave now, Right?" She whispered in a sleepy tone.
"Hmmm...Never..." He ruffled her hairs with a sigh.
"I love you Ashutosh..."
"I love you too" And holding eachother tightly onto that small
hospital bed, they let their fears go away and slept in the silence of the
night, dreaming of a bright future ahead.
"The world worries about disability more than disabled people do."
(Disability of a person doesn't matter till he/she have people around, who love
from their heart and not their eyes)
the new OS
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