FF: D for Desire Thread # 7 (Ch 36, Pg 40, 19 Oct) - Page 29

36

Our apartment.

As Arnav opened the door to her, Khushi could not but keep thinking of how naturally he had said it.

Our apartment.

Her heart had gone crazy the moment he had said that - first, missing a few consequent beats and then skyrocketing to a point of no return. Had he meant it from the heart? Or was it just a slip of tongue? Till now, she had tried not to let her thoughts go that far. Now hearing it from him, she could no longer control her treacherous heart. The dream that she had carefully not dreamt about, came rushing to her.

A life with him. A home built with him. A happily ever after with him.

She had not been able to rest ever since the thought came to her. And now standing in front of the door that led to the place she had shared with him for two nights & days, her heart was a complete mess.

Khushi smiled at him awkwardly and entered the apartment. Which foot was she supposed to step inside with? Right? Left? God! His apartment. Their apartment? Let it go, Khushi!

"Everything ok?" Arnav raised his eyebrows in concern.

Khushi nodded nervously and tried to sport another smile. As she stepped inside the flat and looked around, it seemed so familiar and yet so different.

Last time she had left this place, she had not thought she would ever return here again. She had left with a broken, tormented heart - a heart full of pain and despair. Even with the sunlight flooding in, this place had seemed so dark and gloomy then - lacking life and everything else. But now with her heart peaceful, hoping and anticipating, even the half lit flat in the dark of the night seemed so bright and colorful.

Khushi blinked a couple of times as suddenly all the bulbs lit up. She watched Arnav loosening his tie. As their eyes met, she could see the same memories playing in his eyes. Blush crept up her cheeks as she remembered how shamelessly she had behaved here and that too willingly. Her blush deepened as she further remembered how she had admitted her love for him after a crazy encounter of passion. She could see a teasing smile forming around his beautiful mouth at the same moment. Their thoughts were so much in sync.

Nervously fidgeting with her bangs, Khushi looked here and there. She said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Are we spending the night here?"

Arnav looked a bit befuddled at first. Then he started laughing causing her to turn beetroot red all over. Argh. Did she really just say that?

"I had not realized you were so eager, Ms. Gupta." Arnav said with a naughty grin plastered across his face. "I am honored and humbled."

"I .. meant .. I .. did not mean .." Khushi was clearly at a loss of words.

"You don't have to explain," Arnav said still smiling but his voice clearly conveying the depth of his own desire. "I am just as eager as you are."

They stood rooted to their spot, staring at each other, both the hearts bursting with anticipation. Memories came rushing to them intensifying the desire even more. The harmless yet dangerous game they had played, the geometry they had learnt, the mutual sense of possession they had enforced on one another. This place had seen it all and there was still a lot more to see. The fire started burning fast and the flames of desire going higher.

"But first .." Arnav swallowed and then moistened his lips with his tongue, "Let me show you what I had been waiting to show for weeks now."

Khushi swallowed too. And she nodded.

Arnav walked up to her and held her hand. Khushi shivered slightly from the contact and Arnav felt it. He tightened his hold on her and patted her skin with his thumb. He looked into her eyes and assured her. He was not feeling any different. Using the last bit of his willpower, he ignored the welcoming mix of pain and something else forming somewhere around his lower abdomen and started walking towards the balcony along with her. He had to show it to her - before he lost himself into her.

As they stepped out, Khushi's stance visibly changed. She walked towards the Koi fish pond, dragging Arnav along with her.

Arnav smiled. He knew she loved it.

"My fish!" She said joyfully with her eyes fixed on the shiny white Koi fish swimming around the pond.

A second later she exclaimed.

"She's got a friend!"

Arnav's smile widened.

"It was a he, Khushi," Arnav said smiling. "And I have got him a friend. A she."

Khushi turned her face to him and gave him an ear to ear smile. Arnav's heart brimmed with love and admiration. That pure, unadulterated smile on her face was his undoing. Even a pair of expensive jewels would not cause such a hearty smile to most of the women he had been with. A pair of fish. That was all that he needed to make her happy. Had he not been the Arnav Singh Raizada, he knew now, it would not have mattered to her. What mattered to her was the man he was, not what he had been trying to prove to the world.

As she diverted her attention again to the beautiful pair of white Koi fishes, Arnav felt contended. This was a rare breed and he had to take quite a deal of trouble to get a single female one for their pond. He had thought she would love it and he felt happy now seeing her joy.

"As you took my favorite fish," Arnav said teasingly, "I decided to get one for myself. And then thought, why leave the poor guy alone. So here is his girlfriend!"

"Girlfriend?" Khushi's eyes widened. "Seriously?"

"Hmm."

Khushi paused for a second and then crossed her arms leisurely.

"Great. And I have just found the right name for him."

"OK?" Arnav raised his eyebrows.

"Laad Governor."

"What?!"

"Yeah. Laad Governor." She shrugged. "Suits him."

So he had heard it right that night! Arnav stared at her open mouthed. He had thought he had heard her calling him that at the night of their first date - the party at the Oberoi. Then he thought he had misheard or misinterpreted. Apparently, she had called him that!

"Seriously? That's what you want to call him?"

"Why not? I like it." Khushi smirked.

"Great. Then I know what I want to call her too."

"Do you?"

"Mrs. Laad Governor." Arnav crossed his arms too.

"No way!" Khushi exclaimed.

"Why?" Arnav enquired smirking.

"Because .. that's not even a name!"

"Laad Governor isn't a name too, Khushi. And I think it is alright to call the wife as Mrs."

"Wife? She is his girlfriend!"

"I am getting them married soon."

"Laad Governor does not want to marry!" Khushi argued.

"He does." Arnav refuted. "You leave it up to me. I will get them married."

"But you don't believe in marriage!"

Arnav halted at her accusation, staring straight into her eyes. He bit his lower lips and a hint of a smirk slowly appeared around his beautiful mouth.

"Laad Governor does."

Khushi opened her mouth to rebut with more of vigor but the solemnity in his voice had her speechless. Her heart suddenly started thudding as her brain started questioning the literal meaning of that statement. Laad Governor believed in marriage. Did it mean Arnav believed in marriage too? She must be reading too much between the lines. But why did it sound like it meant more than what it sounded in plain words? Why he sounded so different?

As Arnav kept staring at her, still smirking a little, Khushi's heartbeat went erratic. Was she reading too much? The way he was talking today, the way he looked at her - she wanted to believe there was more to it. She was feeling there was more.

"Khushi Kumari Gupta at a loss of words?" Arnav raised his eyebrows jokingly.

Khushi swallowed and moistened her lips. Like a person drowning, she desperately grabbed onto her sense of humor to help her out of this quandary.

"Well, I had believed, threatening someone to not to get married was more your style."

Arnav chuckled.

"Well, I am not that bad, you know." He shrugged lightly.

"So.." Khushi fidgeted with her hair to get hold of her still reeling nerves. "When are we celebrating the wedding of Mr. & Mrs. Laad Governor?"

"Soon." Arnav did not move his eyes off her. "Very soon, I believe."

Khushi's heart skipped a beat again and then skyrocketed even before recovering the first maddening attack. All these double meaning talks were doing no good to her hoping heart. She was afraid he would read her vulnerability and so she quickly turned away from him.

"That .. that sounds great." Khushi tried hard to not sound nervous as she stepped into the living room. "We should start doing preparations."

"Yes." Arnav agreed and followed her into the room. "Any venue you have in mind?"

"Mmm .. this apartment?" Khushi settled herself on the lounger with her legs crossed.

"I actually had Sheesh Mahal in mind." Arnav stood in front of her leisurely, tilting his head a little on his right. His eyes were fixed on her. The subtle smile on his face was reflected in his eyes besides some other emotion.

"Won't that be a bit too much?"

"For the wedding of Laad Governor?" Arnav raised his eyebrows. "Definitely not. He deserves the best. So does his bride. Besides, my family is waiting for a wedding for a bit too long. I don't think they will settle for anything less."

Khushi felt as if her heart would burst any moment. Why was he doing that? Did he know what he was doing to her? Did he know what hope this ambiguous conversation was causing in her heart? This was so not fair.

Before thinking twice, Khushi suddenly pulled Arnav harshly by the end of his tie. Unprepared, Arnav stumbled and fell forward. As he tried to balance himself holding Khushi's shoulders, he heard her whisper.

"Sometimes you talk too much."

The very next moment, he felt the softness of a feminine hand wrapping around his waist and instantly his lips were captured into the depth of a torrid kiss which was anything but soft. Arnav took no time to reciprocate the urgency, bending forward to meet her more closely as she, still sitting on the lounger and still holding his tie, also pulled him closer.

As the kiss deepened, Arnav shifted his hands to her waist to pull her up. In no time, she was in his arms. Arnav's tongue invaded her mouth violently and impatiently as he started to walk towards his room with her in his arms.

Khushi held on to his tie with her other hand holding the back of his neck tightly. She had not wanted to continue discussing marriage anymore. She had wanted to distract him. To punish him. But all it did was to make her feel even more vulnerable. Her already excited heart was now stimulated with the familiar and ever craving passion. She needed him and the need made her weak in her knees. She could feel she had started to fall apart. She was falling and falling deeply.

She tightened her hold on him. Only he could save her from falling.

***

Arnav waited for his breathing to be even as he kept his head buried into the crook of her neck. He could feel the ups and downs of her bare body under him as she too tried to fill in her lungs with enough air. He slowly started to feel the burn on the skin of his back as her nails eased on him. He chuckled softly. So she scratched this time. They always came almost together. And Arnav had always later realized that Khushi had either bitten his shoulder or scratched his back when she was at the peak of her passion. Taunting her about it was one of his favorites. Though she always had been embarrassed, she had not stopped doing it. There was no restraint in their passion. And that was what always made their lovemaking so intense for him. For her too, he believed.

Arnav tried to move away from her like always, not wanting to burden her with the weight of his tired body.

"Stay." She pleaded.

As both of them finally started breathing normally, Arnav slowly moved away to her side. She lifted her head up and he fitted within his arms. She turned to him and smiled shyly. Her eyes shifted to his chest where she started drawing circles and zigzags with her finger and playing with his chest hair. Arnav stared at her shy yet contented face. Even after so many days, she blushed at their proximity. She was so giving and willingly, yet she was so shy about it. His heart swelled with love and pride. Khushi Kumari Gupta was still a puzzle he had not been able to solve. And he was now ready to spend the rest of his life trying to solve it.

Mrs. Laad Governor indeed.

It had been so much fun seeing the discomfort in her. He could clearly read what the double meaning discussion was doing to her. He felt he had been somewhat cruel yet it was amusing to see her confused and somewhat speechless.

Arnav kissed her head in affection. And he tightened his hold on her. Khushi responded by snuggling in. She looked up to him and smiled lazily. Arnav smiled back. His lips touched her forehead in a soft kiss and his fingers brushed against the softness of her flawless cheeks. The look in her eyes changed from lazy contentment to pure adoration, he could read even in the dark.

Watching her innocent face, the temptation to see her eyes light up when he declared his love, grew deeper. He was waiting for the right moment to declare his love and also in the very best manner. With every passing second, his determination, however, was thinning. The urge to forget all the plans and just dive in the moment was too intense to ignore.

Not being able to hold himself any longer, he finally mouthed the three words he had been practicing, chanting and dreaming of for days now. He said it. Silently.

"I love you."

All Khushi saw was his lips move. There was no way to listen to his unvoiced words. But she saw it. And she understood.

She was no lip reader. But she instantly knew what he had said. And her heart refused to believe it.

"What?" She struggled.

In response, Arnav's face broke into a smile she had never seen before. A smile so bright, relaxed, innocent. And loving. A smile that she could find no word to describe.

Arnav shook his head in denial but the smile remained intact on his beautiful face. Any remaining doubt in her heart vaporized in the same instant.

Khushi's helpless heart leapt up in a joy never felt before. Her face showed nothing. Her eyes remained hidden in the darkness of the room but they did light up as Arnav had dreamt of.

Arnav did not realize the immense joy she was basking in. He could neither see the shine in her eyes he had failed to resist. But the joy in his own heart for being so madly in love with this woman knew now bounds. He could swear he had never been so happy ever in his life. Now the wait would become even more difficult. It would take all his willpower to do it as he had planned. He could not wait to really say the three words to her. He wished he could just close his eyes and sleep in her arms till he would wake up a few days later. On the day, he intended to ask for her hands.

Khushi stared at his sleeping face raptly. The subtle hint of that peaceful smile was still evident on his beautiful face. He was happy. And he was sleeping in her arms free of all the signs and lines of tension or stress that had always been etched on his face. He was at peace.

So was she.

Her heart had stopped racing like a stallion long ago. The realization had slowly sunk in and the excitement had slowly turned into sheer peace.

What she had been longing to hear from him, he had just finally mouthed if not voiced. And he need not to say it in words anymore. Because she knew it now at her heart - with all her doubts and fears wiped off.

He loved her.

And that was all that mattered.

***

Arnav woke up with the smile still lingering on his face. He did not bother putting on his clothes as he gracefully walked into the kitchen knowing where to find his ladylove.

She was fully dressed, her hair tucked into a messy bun and she was busy in the kitchen preparing their breakfast. Arnav watched her move expertly over the stove top and a strange feeling of comfort engulfed him.

Wife. His wife. The thought gave him strange sensations. Marriage meant he would get to see her in the kitchen every morning. Or perhaps some morning, he would wake up next to her, still sleeping. He would actually prefer that more. To watch her sleeping. And then to wake her up in any way he pleased.

The thought made him smile. Standing right here right now, he could think of at least hundred ways to wake her up from sleep - starting with innocent whispers into her ear to wild ministration along the nooks and corners of her delicate form.

"Good Morning!" He said in his sleep-ridden husky voice, still grinning.

He could see her halt from whatever she was doing and he knew her face was now lighting up with the most beautiful smile.

"Good Morning!" She said brightly as she turned to see him.

The next moment her mouth rounded into the perfect "O".

"Arnav!" The ladle fell from her hand as she exclaimed.

"What?" Arnav yawned.

"Put on your clothes!" Khushi's eyes were everywhere now but on him.

Arnav's eyes roamed over his bare body for a second or two and he was unaffected.

"Anything you have not seen before, Ms. Gupta?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Arnav, please!" Her face was now the deepest shade of red.

"If you insist!" Arnav shrugged and turned to leave.

As he idly walked towards his room, he could feel her eyes on him. He grinned.

"Stop checking me out, Khushi." He walked on.

"You stop alluring me, Laad Governor." Khushi mumbled with her eyes glued on his back. He was indeed a fine sight.

Only he could make her so shameless.

Khushi grinned as she diverted her attention back to the stove. This morning, she had woken up with a smile in the arms of the man she loved. Wrapped in his warmth, she had lovingly watched him sleep. She had played with the messy hair falling all over his forehead and kissed his cheek.

"I love you, Arnav Singh Raizada." She had whispered. "And I know now you love me too."

Last night had changed many things for her.

What had seemed to her as an endless wait earlier, was just a wait for formality now. After last night, something had vanished from her life. Something that had been troubling her. She felt relieved. And she knew why. She had always known that it would not be easy for Arnav to realize and admit if he was in love. That he had already somehow expressed his love for her was more than she had expected at this point. It was not only a great start. He was already almost there. Of course, she still needed to hear it loud and clear from him. Yet she was assured now. He loved her. And he had realized it. And he was on the verge of admitting it too.

A smile lingered on Khushi's face as she hummed and continued with cooking. Her flight to Lucknow was only few hours away. She needed to finish breakfast and shower before she would leave.

Last time her departure was with a dagger through her heart. This time, she knew, the sorrow of leaving will be mixed with the hope of reunion.

One and a half hour later, Khushi was expertly knotting Arnav's navy blue tie. She scrutinized her handwork and moved away from him satisfied.

"Perfect." She smiled as her eyes admired him. "Looking good, Mr. Raizada!"

"I know." Arnav shrugged.

"Oh, please!" Khushi rolled her eyes. "Get over yourself."

Arnav pulled her in his arms as she tried to walk away.

"Don't go." He murmured.

"I am here." Her arms went around his back.

They stood in each other's arms, feeling each other's heartbeat, breathing each other's smell. It was time to depart again. How many more times would they have to go through this?

Not too many. Arnav promised to himself as he tightened his hold on her.

"Arnav.." Khushi murmured.

"Hmm?"

"I want you to promise me something."

Arnav frowned as an unpleasant dj vu occurred to him. Memories from a similar day flashed in front of him. He lifted his head and looked at her.

She looked up to see him too.

"Again promise?" Arnav asked cautiously.

Staring at Arnav's guarded eyes, Khushi chuckled. She knew what was in his mind.

"Scared?"

"I wish I could say I were not."

Khushi shifted her hands from his back to his neck. She bit her lips as she grinned.

"You don't stick to your promise anyway, if you don't like it. So why worry?"

"You should not exemplify an exception."

"Ok. I will not take that chance then."

She stood on her toes and pecked his lips.

"No matter what happens," she said softly, "No matter what I say or do, just never let me walk away from you, Arnav. That's a promise I want you to make and stick to."

Arnav searched her eyes. They were full of earnest emotions. He did not bother hiding his own emotions too. He bared his soul open to her through his eyes. He wanted her to see how he felt.

"I promise, Khushi." He murmured. "I will never let you go."

They embraced each other, no longer fearing the impending separation. They both knew now they would be together. Miles of distance was not going to tear them apart. They were separating only to be reunited. And they would count on it when they were not together.

Before loosening his hold on her, Arnav promised again. To her. To himself. Silently.

"Never."

Reviewed By: Ritz (iritz) & Dips (bs_deeps)