Originally posted by: gadhadada
VPAINTINGS, the Story U posted in Ur Thread in Scattered form...I read it today...😊First its only a Suggestion... whenever Next time U will Post any Story, Post it Together... Not in Scattered form cz then its Difficult for Reader to Read it...Second, plz Proof Reading before posting it...😊here so many times ABHI Sir and DAYA Sir dialogues wrote in One Line so its so much Difficult for Reader to get Who was delivering this Dialogue...😕Try to Use Proper name not Short form like A, D, F etc...😕😕😕Now Come to Ur Story...Its really a Good Attempt...👏👏Some Ideas are Lovely...⭐️⭐️Like I really like ABHI Sir Idea about Not touching anything on TJI house as He has NO GLOVES at that time because He went there Informally...👏The SIM Idea as He ordered VIVEK to check it on His Cell...👏VILLIAN idea to Shuffle the Cell as well the Car when Threatening DAYA Sir...👏The Fake Bullet Idea in Orphanage...👏Only SACHIN have Real Bullet for any Emergency...👏the White Shirt Idea told by DAYA Sir through Finger...👏the AATMA Plan of FREDDIE Sir was Nice...👏the Kid at Orphanage told ABHI Sir about Not Bleeding was also Cute...👏Somehow Story Drawbacks in some matters...😊😊First why ACP Sir was too much harsh towards DAYA Sir and without any Solid Proof accepted that He was the Kidnapper of TJI...😕As Writer did not Clearify that how DAYA Sir Bracelet Team found at TJI house...😲Did DAYA Sir did not aware about His Bracelet missing or anyone from Team told Him as its not so small and His Identification...😕Team did not Clear either they found Blood Stains of DAYA Sir from TJI house and if Yes, No Clarification how... same as with TJI Blood at DAYA Sir house...😕😕Team did not Check DAYA Sir and TJI Call Records (they only check the last Sms found from TJI SIM)...Either till PUNE drive, DAYA Sir Quillas and Jeep They did not Track...😲😲SALUNKHY Sir did not tell anything that why He did not got the DNA from that Burnt Body...😕😕The Orphanage Attack was totally unnecessary...DAYA Sir under very Dangerous Drug but at End Everything Was fine with Him...😲TJI attitude at End was also Wrong...why Villain make such a Big Plan rather doing all in that Orphanage...😕😕but except these Small Mistakes which is a Learning Lesson for All of Us, its a Nice Try...👍🏼👏Keep it Up in Future...👍🏼👏Thank you so much...😳😃
Originally posted by: visromExcuse me...this is confusing. Could you please post them all together if you don't mind? I'll read but in a few days. At that time I'll be unable to search for the various parts all over the thread.
Originally posted by: 1.KRITTIKAwelcome to IF
nce stry..strt se end tak thik tha per srry achanaq se daya ka fit ho jana aur tarika ka typical bhvr aise haalat mey..hajam nahi hua
baki stry is really nce...
spclly the way freddy called abhijeet and questions him...
crry on with other stries
comment:
p_commentcount