I penned an OS, based on the current track where an accident takes place..
please do read and comment...
If only...
As I stood silently near the grand wedding Mandap, people walked past me as if I wasn't there. Yes, I wasn't there; in body. But my soul or spirit or call it anything, refused to leave despite such a tragic accident. The accident that had brought a sea change in everyone's lives, particularly mine..
How can I forget that wretched day closely a month ago, when a cement truck had hit me head on..I remember I was a bloody mess and it was gory all over..Baldev, my Baldev had carried me in his arms, perhaps for the last time..yet I hadn't thanked him..
The same Baldev was now attired as a groom. For a moment I couldn't take my eyes off the grandeur that he was. He wore a black and golden colored achkan suit with a matching pagdi and looked the most handsome among all men in the function. After having ogled at him to my heart's content, my attention went to his eyes, and there the truth was..
His eyes were a picture of pure hurt, they had a glowing knife like quality which almost stabbed my non-existent heart..he had channeled all his pain inside his eyes and hadn't let it reflect on his face..he was still grieving, for me..
He had said yes' to the first proposal that his parents had brought but that didn't mean he was happy with this marriage as I knew, as much as he loved me, he wanted his parents to be happy and that was the reason he had put on this mask of normalcy.
He spent the nights staring at the moon looking for me, demanding an answer from the stars for my early departure from this world..
Every drop of unshed tear in his eyes, reminded me of the callousness I had shown him when I had the chance to show my love..if I could touch him now, I'd take all those tears into my eyes and bestow on him all my smiles..
He doted on me, adored me and yet I hadn't thought much of it. Whenever he demanded the return of gestures of love from my side, I either jokingly shooed him off or showed anger at his supposed 'foolishness'. When he worried about our future, I buried my nose in every trivial matter of the world largely ignoring him.
It wasn't that I loved him any less but I never felt the need to show it. and now it was too late..
My being craved to be embraced by his form..Every nerve ending flared with the unoppressive need to touch him once; just once..it felt as if an volcano would explode within me if my craving wasn't insatiated immediately..
god, if I ever got another chance, I would treat him like pure gold..he would be the most treasured thing in my world and I would never, never let him go..i would make it up to him for every mistake of mine and shower upon him, the most beautiful creation of god, love..
Why couldn't I weep and show my grievance to the world? oh yeah right, I was dead..And they couldn't possibly know that I was there..I had read countless books about love; read how life gives you only one chance at love and if you fail to catch it, then you lose it forever..
"dulhan ko mangal sutra pehnayiye" the pandit told the groom and Baldev lifted the ornament towards the bride's neck.
"no..noo, stop it..that belongs to me..you are mine.." I wanted to tell him. but ofcourse I couldn't..no one could hear my pleadings..I had kicked away all his proposals for marriage and now that was lost to me forever..
The punishment for the mistakes I had done while living haunted me in after life and I had to bear it until the end of time..My soul was set on fire and there wasn't an extinguisher in the world which would be able to stop this inferno within which I burned..In childhood I had heard a story about women who died at a young age and became rakshasis' or demonical beings due to the baggage of their unfulfilled desires.. had I become one of them?
I extended my hand as if attempting to draw strength from the air and something caught me..Something hard, a trembling hand which was warm..
"Veera?" that voice was of relief..a sound of happiness combined with some raw emotion..As if that person had just heard the most joyous news of life..
I could open my eyes to a slit and saw the dear face of my beloved through the haze that covered my vision. My first thought was, this couldn't be a dream..yes! I was alive..I was NOT dead..if I was wrong and it was a dream within a dream, I'd break into million pieces never to join as a whole again..but his reassuring presence was a part of reality and I felt my heart beat, sensing his touch..
For the next few minutes while I concentrated hard on coming back to my senses, my mind was reflecting upon the nightmare or rather the eye opener that had passed by me a while ago..
Not everyone got a second chance in life; but I had had one. I remembered wishing in the dream that if I ever got another chance at life, I'd treat him the most precious way and it was time to keep my word. My wandering in the hot desert was over and I had found my oasis.
My voice was still feeble and I sounded hoarse yet I cleared
my throat, took a deep breath and stared into his coal black eyes with as much
force as I could put in, "tujhme meri poori duniya basti hai Baldev..I love
you"(My entire world lies in you) I said.
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Thank you for reading🤗
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