Apologetic attitude towards strength

Why?

On through my phone, so I'll post a shorter reply right now and a longer one later.

To begin with, oppression, especially in our country is a major result of the patriarchy. And when we haven't been able to tackle the latter, questioning the former is simply stupid.

Coming from a country where a woman is accused of illiciting rape, every other logical thing is simply out of bounds. Forget trying to justify revenge for women, isn't it common for tv shows and movies to showcase any woman wearing a suit/saree as a protagonist. Wear a skirt or a sleeveless blouse, and you are automatically assumed to be a vamp.

In Cocktail, Saif's character was never asked to change, Deepika's character was termed a wh**e and the third one (forgettable at best) was an angel. Stereotypical Indian thinking. Because the latter one prays, Saif has to fall for her, his mother likes her and Deepika has to try to change. Ermm...wasn't Saif the one bedding her character? How is he never asked to do shit?

On a personal level, I had a love marriage and God only knows all the taunts I have beared. Was it such a crime? Lord, it certainly felt so after the taunts and moral policing. Specifically for me. Never to him. It's stupid and I would have killed someone if not for my husband. 4.0 GPA student all through my life, wore short skirts and stuff, started driving at an age of 16 and got myself a car independently at age 19. In our country, I was a rebellious kid who "would shame her family". Everywhere else I lived, I was a nerd valedictorian.

The fact of the matter is, in our country in the name of culture and tradition, we've got these preconceived notions of what a woman can and cannot do. Men have nothing to do in those things apparently, other than propagating the stupid idea further. It's not right, we can question it on a daily basis, but could we bring about a change? Looking at the past centuries or so, I don't know.

Durga and Rekha's character in Khoon Bhari Maang have been shown to have these flashbacks and justifications because they have to show some level of remorse or else they'll look too much like the vamps on television. And the makers have to please the aunties who for example rain lathis on couples who go to parks together. For them, "Oh My God! Yeh ladki uss ladke ko maaf karke shaadi kyun nahi kar leti kisi se! Kyun apni zindagi barbaad kar rahi hai" is the response other than "Iss besharam ke saath toh aisa hi hona chahiye. Zindagi barbaad kar di un ladkiyon ki".

Comparison between the characters is poignant. Sakshi feels very little remorse as compared to Durga. The makers are probably trying to accentuate the humanity in Durga.



Edited.

It is a very common mistake to equalize physical weakness of women with their mental strength. Big mistake. Women are strong willed and aggressive. Not cat fight aggressive, rather mentally strong headed. In order for our patriarchy to prevail, it has to be shown that women are in the background and not the front runners of any justice or campaign of any sort. The secret behind a man's success is a woman...because you won't let her become successful.

For me, I have never apologized for being independent, aggressive, or anything else. But I also haven't been the most loved person for the "indian" people championing "tradition and Indian values". The makers don't want Durga to be unliked by the aforementioned people.Edited by natkhat_angel - 9 years ago

well first of all im against this marriage track there are many ways to take revenge why marriage 😲 (specially when you know the man is none other than rapist ) but I think we might get It and yes as you said later durga will turn out to be like other vulnerable women who will be confused and sorry state , before the show start there was article  that she might be weak later and in confuse state thinking about her revenge again  so don't know where this track is going , I would rather prefer durga marrying dev if cv,s are so keen in making her mrs goenka , but  not shaurya

@natkhat_angel

I agree that Durga should be shown knowing some form of self-defense. Especially considering that she knows exactly how depraved and physically aggressive Shuraya and his gang are. If I was Durga I would make sure I had trained enough to be a least if worst came to worst be able to fight them off long enough to escape from their clutches. Desi soaps are extremely regressive when it comes to showing strong female leads. People say Western shows corrupt Asian mindsets but their simply light years ahead of us when it comes to woman empowerment. Whilst India was watching Tulsi revere her cheating hubby Mihir as Ram incarnate in KSBKBT America was showing Buffy physically whooping her vampire boyfriends a** in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Also the producer of Buffy always stated he deliberately cast the petite Sarah Michelle Geller in the main role as he wanted to completely convert the stereotype of Holywood portrayal if the defenceless little bloud girl.

To be fair even Bollywood gets it right sometimes. Does anyone remember the mid nineties hit Dushman with Kajol? There she was shown as revenge obbessed sister out for justice after her twin was vicisiously raped and murdered. Sound familiar?! There were lots if differences in that film compared to EHT though, such as the rapist not being a spoilt, wealthy and attractive brat. Rather he was cold, manipulative, skin crawling pervert who preyed ruthlessly upon helpless women purely to satisfy his gratious needs. The best part of the film though was hero (brilliantly acted by Sanjay Dutt) wasn't cast just to save the heroine. Rather he relentlessly taught her self-defense and gave her both the physical and mental strength required to hunt down her sisters killer. Also the grand finale shows the hero failing to protect the heroine and how finally she realises she has to be the one to fight. And boy does she. At the end of the film the police force are shown hailing her as an example for all women to follow in her footsteps. It's a shame desi soaps didn't.

Edited by suki11 - 9 years ago

I agree Anu. Some of the things you have mentioned I have faced in life too. There were questions on why my dad allowed me to do engineering as I may not get a educated groom as I belong to a community where most guys take up family business after 10th or 12th. if by any chance they are highly educated their parents prefer brides from rich family with lot of dowry. I simply couldn't understand what was the relation with my studies and getting a groom for me. Edited by shruthiravi - 9 years ago