Yeh Aap ne kya shuru kar diya BgDesai?ππ
I think it's in a 'Transition phase'
A few accepted facts are-Physically Men are stronger than women, Mentally both are equal,Emotionally women are stronger than men.How does society relate & use these facts in the institution of a family? Men were sent out to earn & feed, women were to stay back & support them emotionally in every case & in anycase.situation is more or less same today except at Mental level. where a woman's opinion was never asked before now even her opinions are respected.They are given equal education & opportunity to follow the career of their choice.which gives them financial independence & confidence.awareness is much more than before but what is not changed or probably will never change is man's ego. They have been provided with the right of 'protecting' woman & they will execute this forever.π π
2. Do you think male domination (as a father, husband, brother) sometimes interfere in your freedom as individual? Is it suffocating?
sometimes 'yes'when my bro. is allowed to have n no. of girlfriends & I'm not allowed to talk to a boy even on phone at 10pm., when my bro. can surf 'any' sire & my mom is all the time around when I sit on computer,when I read (recently discussed topic) that woman's virginity is more important than man's...etc. etc. we know there are seperate rules in society for both but I guess again rule of 'Protection' applies here.
3. Does young generation (specially men) want to see it as equal or they are happy as it is?
They are atleast pretending to see them as equalπI don't know how far does it hold true in marriage.I think certain facts will never change.butI agree that at least they are looking for a friend in wife with whom they can discuss & plan future,enjoy the present at its best & forget the pains of the past.They are allowing woman to work but still hesitant to help in household work...!may consider/accept the woman's decisions but try their best to say their was the better...
4. What can we do as young generation to change it?
Nothing, listen to them quietly & follow what we think is right,don't hurt their ego but don't lose our identity,there is nothing wrong in letting them feel they are better as long as even we are considered......Mujhe apna alag Asmaan nahin chahiye jab tak mujhe bhi udane mile........!
Hi BgDesai,
I understand your turmoil ,It'll be a lie if I say I didn't go through all these.I like your idea of planting the respect for woman & equality while bringing up the child. but you know if we go deeper into the issue there are extremes too.
I feel there is difference between the serious 'Suppression' of woman & so called feminist's liberation. As you said about Taliban...!even in India there still exists society where woman is treated as a housemaid & a doll to phisically play with, where sixteen yr old innocent girl is made to marry forty yr old divorcee, where woman is not allowed to undergo tubectomy even after five deliveries till she gives birth to a male baby, where sex determination & killing of female fetus is still prevalent....yes this is serious male domination & has to be dealt with strictly , the key being woman Education,self respect,self preservation , confidence & courage to rise..!
On the other hand there is slowly developing another mentality ,If males can have n no. of extra marital affairs why can't we? Mallika sheravat & Neha dhupia's interviews scare you..we see well educated ,well to do girls into modeling for remix albums only for fun...increasing no. of divorces on the basis of independence..all this is other side of coin.
I feel we shouldn't go beyond the established society norms 'coz they were set with a particular reason & logic behind it.Yes it's true that woman has to invest much more input in the family but God only gave her that extra strenghth.God gave her uterus & capacity to bear a child & undergo labour pains,ability to nurse the baby & spend her life to bring up her own flesh & blood....!!we can only be proud of ourselves for this & expect only some sensitivity & consideration from man in return.
Another fact is , I've never seen an independent woman staying alone really happy within,God made two sex only to complete each other...this give & take may be 50/50 or 80/20 ,we only have to try our best so that both of them get equal chance to expand their wings & use their potential to the maximum by complementing each other.. be more patient ,be more tolerant & be more strong ......woman is symbol of that...!!
1. Do you think India is still a male dominating society?
Most definitely is. Though, its much better than North America in terms of politics. At least we had a female PM!
2. Do you think male domination (as a father, husband, brother) sometimes interfere in your freedom as individual? Is it suffocating?
In my case, its a bit strange as it often used to be the other way around. My father is ok with me staying out late etc, but my mother will not allow that. She tells me that if I was a boy, it would be different!
My mother also used to make comments like "Chokri jaat e mote nahi bolvanu!" (Girls should not speak loudly)...which didn't exactly work with me π
So in my case its female dominion based on worry and androcentric viewpoints drilled in by old geezers and biddies.
3. Does young generation (specially men) want to see it as equal or they are happy as it is?
I think they have become more tolerant about it, but they still refuse to see women as equals many times or act like MCPs.
Though my father is fairly open-minded about most things, at times he just makes really chauvinistic comments. Something like "Look at him - gossiping like a woman!". Just irritates me because of the stereotype associated with women.
4. What can we do as young generation to change it?
Work hard, never give up dreams of topping that corporate ladder and send male chauvinist pigs back to the muck from where they emerged.
Edited by MysticaMagic - 18 years ago[quote=bgdesai]Physical strenght, financial independance, lack of education amoung woman are major causes for these kind of abuses, but apart from them there are also some woman who does not want to be equal to men ..they just want to follow their men rather than walking together. it's its hard for me to figure out why?[/quote]
I agree as I've seen that happen as well. I think the problem is that these old customs and ideologies are so ingrained in these women that they do not know how to support themselves without a man.
They have been brainwashed and drilled with certain ideas, such as "Pati Parmeshwar" etc. so how can they even see themselves as equals?
Unfortunately, few people have the tenacity to go against a defined society norm, which is why we still see submissive behaviour from many women.
Hi Bgdesai,you are really lucky to have this family,they have a lot to learn from.π
About the surname let's take it this way..Surname represents identity of a 'family' according to their religion,caste n profession right? when we get married, the other family welcomes us as"Dear you too are one of us now" If one DIL was 'vaidya' in 'Mehta's family', another was 'Shah',third one 'Singh';then where is 'one' family??Afterall marriage is called an institution,so if one student decides to go into another the division, new div. will appear on his id n not the old one...π I'm not against keeping the same surname for the technical reasons or for our own satisfaction, many ppl do that;I'm saying that by changing it we don't lose our identity but we gain a new identity; the moment we turn in to DIL from a daughter..!! so question is why only women have to do everything,I don't have any answer except that men don't have that much strenghth n flexibilty to undergo all that.π
When I was small I was teased by aunt abt my in laws,I used to convince myself nothing will happen,world changes so fast,things will change & may be boys will have to leave their house & stay with in laws,BUT NOTHING CHANGED !!! Even today we don't like 'Gharjamai' n 'joru ka gulam'(definations may vary !!) so to an extent we too like male dominence.
About cooking n household work, why don't we think that we have Sanjeev Kapoor,we have male host in almost all cookery show,(though sanjeev Kapoor's wife admits that he doesn't cook at home) what I mean is at least now they are not ashamed of touching 'Tawa n Kadai"!!so things are changing....
It looks like I'm supporting men, but I'm only saying let's not hurt ourselves too much.. π