This content was originally posted by: raj5000
Marriage is considered as the last official tag in a relationship after which man and woman are legally inseparable until unless they really want to break the ties.
Typical marriage are results of the following - Introductions, knowing each other better, dating for a while, making a judgment that this is it, proposal , mutual agreement on spending life together and finally THE Marriage. In some cases, now the fun begins when both spouse share 24 hours together under the roof, at this point many unknown things about each other are revealed, some good or some bad. Out of the bad ones few can be sacrificed or compromised for but during this period if something comes up which cannot be compromised say from simple loud snoring to extreme case as drug addiction. This can simply happen since the spouses didn't spend enough time with each other to know 100% of the person they are falling for or simply whole relationship is based on lies. Final outcome - Whole life seems ruined for either or partner give way to D, cheating, frustration, abuse etc etc.
Based on the above scenarios:
Do you think moving in with prospect spouse for 2- 3 years without getting legal/morally committed in marriage a viable solution in this case?
I completely agree with what I made bold. Those are the reasons why one should know what the person is and learn to know who wakes up and goes to bed on your side and everything he / she does in between.
On a date, my husband still puts his best behaviour. It is only when I clean the dishes, do laundry and sometimes by mistake add extra salt that Mr QT is not the sweety pie I married, right? π
It must be the same with me. On dates, dishes have never flown in restaurants and no bad word had left qt's mouth. At home, I have lost count of the latter and done the former twice.
To another guy, these could be big things unacceptable from his wife. For Mr QT, it hurts his perfect wife image, yet life is still putting-up-with- qt-worthy. ππ
I think one must spend days and nights together and get to know aspects of behaviour that are personal, and hard to imagine from a person dressed nicely wearing a perfume and holding flowers for you and pouring you an expensive wine he ordered.. π
Now coming to Soumya's valid comment about 2-3 years with 20 people is not a way to go. Where does one draw the line of KNOWING someone?? What is the sufficient time span? I think all these things are relative and dependent on individuals. I still think that spending atleast a couple of months under the same roof gets you ready for some things that could unsweetly surprise you later.. π³..
Marriage requires plenty of work and plenty of changes occur in both partners as time passes and resonsibilities change. Who basically KNOWS the partner fully anyway?? ππ But there are things one should know and that realization comes only by STAYING. Who snores loudly in a restaurant? Who is lazy to shave on a date? Who changes channel back to ESPN when on date? ππ Which girl is lazy to wear contacts, lazy to take shower, and admits that crying is fun sometime??
If such things come as unbearable surprise, and one gets introduced to them after marriage, then one could be off to a bad start / compromise..
I think a few months are good enough to know disgusting / sweet mannerisms. I support moving in for that.
Things to think of:
- Cultural values, Society.
Yes, good point! some ppl are sweet only on dates, yet how they are with their other friends on a day to day basis can shed light on their real selves .
- Would parents in this age agree?
mine are very modern and liberal, no complaints, still they would hate to know my sweet thoughts on this subject π π
- Recognition of such a relation among friends and families of friends.
Are we talking about family and friends who will help you if you are in trouble? or just the nosy ones making every decision of your life their business π€’
- Do we care about society when it's the question of one's life?
i didn't care a bit. ofcourse i was a financially secure and independent individual, respeonsible for my own actions and consequences thereof. if one is the above, one need not care.
- Etc.. etc..
PS β Am factoring out the S* factor here to maintain decorum of this section. good idea Anshu π.
My thoughts on that - One should not even think of IT unless they are all the above and have a great support system in case of chaotic events that could occur in life if the relationship did not work after. S can make break ups very complicated.
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